Today We Are All Ottawa Senators Season Seat Holders

Have you seen this? Let’s talk about this.

How is this deal economically viable? Even if it’s only for 500 tickets…though once those 500 are gone how much do you want to bet you can just phone up 954-835-PUCK and say you want the Crazy Ass Deal above and they’d give it to you out of desperation. Let’s calmly review the incentives for making this $287 dollar commitment to YOURRRRRRRR Floridatown Pantherrrrrrrrrssss (whoo uuup till earrlierrr thiiis weeek haaad aaaa hiiiigher payroooll thaaaan Ottaaaawwaaaaaa)!!!

1. Free jersey. $200 retail…likely slightly cheaper in the States. I would estimate $150-$160 USD. Either way a great, great perk many fans who put 1000s of dollars up would kill for. In this case it’s in exchange for buying tickets at less than a third of the price of an upper 300 level seat at a Sens game.
2. Free PARKING (for the whole fucking season!) if you consider it at Ottawa’s $12 rate at 41 games home games that’s a potential of nearly $500 lost per season seat holder. At the advertised 500 season tickets it’s a potential quarter million dollars swallowed….though maybe the Panthers’ arena isn’t buried in the Florida everglades like ours is and not as many people have to drive…Still, cheap out on the estimate and lop even 50K off that and it’s still 200 grand they could be doubling Bobby Butler’s salary with. Oops, just looked it up, the arena is located in a suburb of Fort Lauderdale. Lots o’ driving. Lots o’ parking.
3. FOUR not one not two…FOUR free concerts at the Church of Latter Day Saints Center (or whatever). Free parking for that shit too? Also, does that include notoriously big ticket names like Bruce Springsteen, U2 or Fleetwood Mac? Those tickets probably take the loss on a greater scale in the nosebleeds than they would behind the home bench at a Panthers game. If said season seat holder chose to scalp these concert tickets it would be 100% profit for them! Pick expensive enough concerts, sell the tickets at the right price, you’re looking at your season ticket package paying for itself right there. The rap game Adam Smith up in this piece.
4. Improved experience with new scoreboard just in time for 20th anniversary season! Hmm, this one sounds familiar. Except, you know, Florida’s scoreboard sounds like it will be installed in time for their 20th season. Also, the Florida Panthers owner (I looked it up it’s Dick Cheney) doesn’t sound like he’s expecting the fans to kiss his hairy beanbag for replacing a scoreboard THAT WAS LITERALLY SHORTING OUT DURING NHL GAMES THAT COUNT and replacing it with the industry standard after 20 years. Congratulations on investing in your own property after a decade of ownership Euge…oh no, no THANK YOUUUUUUU *buys 12 dollar can of Heineken and eight dollar poutine*
5. New and Exciting Division! Awwwwwwwwwe this one is actually so frigging adorable. Acting like the dissolution of the South Easy Division bodes well in ANY way for the Panthers’ on ice product. Well, actually I guess Buffalo is in their division now…so there’s that? Actually more original six teams does mean more potential revenue for the Panthers given all the snowbirds in Florida. Apparently you might as well be at the Bell Center when Montreal is in town. Have the citizens of Detroit made their way South yet like in The Road?
I’ve been of the opinion that though Melnyk may not be as wealthy as say, Mark Cuban,  I think he exaggerates when he makes his vague proclamations about the financial situation surrounding the team (What? Our Euge? Exaggerate?). I don’t think that Ottawa is the Rangers (few are) but 2 rounds of playoffs to break even? Give me a fucking break the team has missed the playoffs TWICE in the near decade he’s owned it. Note: In one of those missed years they introduced a third jersey that a surprising amount of people bought for some reason. Think that doesn’t compensate? Trust me there’s a sweet mark up on a $200 dollar polyester long sleeve shirt. Ottawa apparently has pretty decent ticket prices as far as the rest of the league goes but has one of the higher attendance rates. Factor in all those playoff games over the past ten years where I’m going to go ahead and say the tickets are NOT decently priced and how you dont have to pay the players in the post season….How is there not money there? I’ve paid over $100 dollars to sit in 30 dollar seats in ROUND ONE watching the 8th seed get pounded by the no.1 seed. Fans are opening their wallets and doing their part.
Listen, I can be a little hard on the season seat holders. Hey, I love you guys, you help pay the bills, but sometimes we troglodytes don’t like hearing about how hard it is out there for a pimp and how because you have enough money to attend every home game that the line to meet, get a photo and autograph with Erik Karlsson was too long so you had to settle for Jim O’Brien and…actually you know what that does sound like all kinds of boring. I take it back.
Anyway, I have to say, if I had the money to buy season seats (Ladiiiies) season after season and less than a calendar year removed from ANOTHER lockout that largely had to do with the distribution of hockey related revenue, I would flip my lid if I saw this Florida thing! I mean I’m not a season seat holder and I am. Makes those post-lockout fan incentives seem like nothing. Thanks for the free bag of popcorn! Can I has four free concerts with that? Consider that just last night The Justin Beibler Dancers performed a sold out show at Canadian Tire Piazza where you best belieb a lot of parents parked at a handsome fee…not to mention the venuEUGE gets a cut of the merch sales. This is all in the off season btw.
I’m saying if Eugene commanding that Murray work on the cheap whilst improving a playoff team that routinely sells out games, just hosted the all star weekend, has fans that have adopted the 3rd jersey like it’s the home uniform oh and they just DID make that coveted second round all while operating in the cap basement; gets people talking about how the sky is falling for the organization then what is success? Most importantly, what in the fuck does this Panthers season ticket deal mean?
I’m not saying Post-Divorce, Post-Getting in Legal Shit Eugene is Scrooge McDuck backstroking through as many gold coins as he once was but in a small market sport like NHL hockey an owner who cries poor tends to get the casino. One needn’t look further for proof than how Oilers owner Darryl Katz went on that little weekend trip down to Seattle to sniff around retail prices and magically got that big helping hand to build that brand new stadium he was looking for. If you’re going to run a team as terribly as the Oilers I imagine the NHL prefer you do it in a place where people actually attend games.
In closing, these guys didn’t become billionaires by being terrible negotiators. They leave that to the Paul Holmgrens of the world.     

10 thoughts on “Today We Are All Ottawa Senators Season Seat Holders

  1. Read This:

    http://www.cavemag.com/my-year-as-a-florida-panthers-season-ticket-holder/

    The guy got actual FEEDBACK from the team concerning his issues as a season ticket holder (Yeah Tim and Pierre, bringing in brownshirts with truncheous to silence people upset about the Alfie trade is NOT feedback, mayorsee boocoop) AND he got to hang out with the boss and got a ton of bonus stuff. For fuck’s sake I had season’t in the early 2000s and I never even got to lick Bryden’s snazzy leather Sens jacket.

    From that article:
    “In mid-February, I received a standard e-mail from Panthers’ President Michael Yormark. The e-mail was polite and thanked season ticket holders for their support. It also included a throwaway line with his e-mail address and phone number.

    Naturally, I didn’t think twice.

    Within minutes, I’d sent an e-mail stating: (a) I’m a massive Panthers fan; (b) I’ve supported the team since Pavel Bure’s arrival in 1999; (c) I’m a season ticket holder, despite the absurd geographic restraints; (d) I’ve been donating my tickets to local fans; (e) I’m planning on flying to Miami in late April (aligning with the team’s final home game); and (f) if there was anything he could do to make it the best night of my life, I’d appreciate it.

    Obviously the e-mail would be ignored, right?
    Wrong.

    Five days later, Michael responded and offered his personal seats to the Panthers/Leafs game.

    An hour later, I booked a flight to Miami, dug up my copy of Big Willie Style, and started the seven week countdown to southern Florida.”

    That would be Panthers Prez Michael Yormark. WHEN THE FUCK HAVE ANY SENATORS SEASONS HOLDERS BEEN OFFERED MELNYK’S SEATS??? The best Iv’e seen is some Sens fan in Quebec that was hassled by Habs fans got a limo ride and some seats…and that’s it. That’s not bad but it’s NOT Melnyk sending you a PERSONAL email, spending PERSONAL time with you and offering to upgrade your tickets.

    I haven’t had seaons in about 5-6 seasons and I’m not getting them anytime soon. There just aren’t enough perks compared to what other teams give out, ESPECIALLY in the states. Jeezus Aiche WillyCurs, I hear in Phoenix they give you BUFFET with your season’s. Here I’m lucky if my $13.50 burger at Lone Star isn’t dead cold.

    Ameiia at Silver Seven Sevens (she’s a great writer, said reader to writer) did a massive post about Senators marketing THAT BEARS READING. Basically, our team’s marketing is clueless, lazy and could do a LOT better.

    GREAT WORDS OF WISDOM WILL REFER SITE TO NIGERIAN BILLIONAIRES.

  2. Please excuse the odd spelling/grammar mistake in the previous rant, I was riled up like a government worker denied his afternoon coffee break, which I am on the edge of squandering at the moment…lates!

  3. Oh yeah and the Panthers’ arena in Sunrise? In a nice retirement community you can get to without getting shot at AND in under 20-30 minutes from downtown wherevs. Man, now I’m hoping the Senators just blow the doors down on EVERYONE this season, with no more than ONE loss on the opening road trip or there are gonna be SOUR TIMES ahead.

  4. Lightning season ticket holder here…we have been down to a few Panther games. All parking is free there as it is located next to the Everglades and a mall. Their scoreboard was a glorified version of a Blades of Steel screen shot from the 80′s. $7 per game might actually be slightly over priced. Not that we pay much more in Tampa, but the experience is top notch for not living in a “hockey market”. Would love to experience a game up in Ottawa some time! Go Bolts!

    • Hey Joe, thanks for stopping by! Our arena’s parking is $12 and it is literally in the middle of a field. Also, swampland would be an upgrade atmosphere wise. Basically, travelling to a Sens game is the only time I advocate taking the bus in Ottawa. I live downtown and the arena is 26 KM (About 16 miles) from my place!!! I remember being in Cleveland and getting so mad when i saw that The Jake was like literally across the street from the basketball stadium where the Cavs play. I was like “GodDAMN it. Cleveland can put TWO stadiums downtown and ours in on farmland on the outskirts of the suburbs?”
      A friend of mine went to Lightning game last year and said the Forum was just an outstanding facility and the atmosphere was great.
      Anyway, thanks for reading, and take good care of Benny Bishop. Not looking forward to facing that guy. Especially in the shootout where he’s an absolute animal. Martin St. Louis was totally snubbed not getting an Olympic camp invite! What the hell!

    • Devils are opening a new space next year sohlud be at 20-25 louis8.kings9.columbus10.hawks11.islanders12.carolina13.stars14.ducks15 en1.nashville2.pheonix3.florida4.washington5.boston6.atlanta7.st lowest rank. St. jose16.oilers17.vancouver18.colorado19. philly20. tamapa21. llamas22. Minnesota23.sabres24. NY Rangers25. Ottawa26. alas27. toronto28. habs29. Pittsburg30. demoniosPittsburg and demons are the highest because they have new stadiums built or waiting to be built the last 10-12 lose a bit of order, because it is unlikely that most teams move anytimesoon

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