Lame Day Preview: Ottawa Viking Death Ships vs. Jeans…Buffalo

Ottawa hasn’t played in about 6 and a half weeks so I figured that I would FINALLY do a lame day prev-

Oh wait, wait, wait… according to my Palm Pilot (see above picture  -ha? no ha.)…huh, says the Sens last played on FRIDAY…
It would seem that each over the top dramatic event that happens to the team makes each day in between games seem like
a week and a half. Huh, thanks science!

Now, I know what youre all expecting me to talk about *crickets* no, its not the sound of crickets…

Its not “OoooOOoooOOOO how is the team going to play now that they know the coach and GM AREN’T getting fired
this season” (that will come later). No, I want to talk about how Filip Kuba is a healthy scratch FINALLY.

This one is a big for me. He gets paid a lot of money to suck. Maybe now that Clouston gets to live like Peter in Office Space for the next few months – except not as happy about
working construction at the end (late spoiler alert!) – maybe he’ll get a little bit creative with his coaching. Namely, benching of Fillip Kuba/whoever…
I dont care so much about Kuba Badding Jr. “learning his lesson” so much as I straight up dont want to watch him play tonight.

oh sure this does nothing to help his trade value but I think he already crashed that flying saucer into the side of a mountain long ago. Remember when this guy had 40 assists? …yeah, FOUR this year. . .Four

Those days are gone. Sure, guy started off the year hurt. Never fun. Alsoooo…you know…bring anything to the tableau when youre back on the team
Smooth Jimmy’s Psychic Reverse Psychology Korner:

Last time I dissed Kuba during a game he made a heroic shot block…so maybe he’ll be first star after this post.

 

Honestly, the remainder of this season will likely be about little victories. Like, Kuba getting Scratched, the CURRENT fact that Robin Lehner is undefeated in NHL action, The video of Karlsson being told he’s made the All Star team (our generation’s baby panda sneezing video), maybe a Kovalev benching?, LeClaire jokes OR A WIN EVERY NOW AND AGAIN.
Yeah, I’m hoping for a win tonight…what of it!?
May Spezzafacehouseboat have mercy on us all.

One thought on “Lame Day Preview: Ottawa Viking Death Ships vs. Jeans…Buffalo

  1. I am sick of these jokes about my giant hand!!!!

    Speaking of hands, I’ve got my fingers crossed the Sens live up to their promise to tank and lose…

    …slide whistle, bow-tie spins…

    YEEEOWZA!

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