2011.11.30: A Movember to barfmember

James to Conrad

Whew. Talk about crushing lows. That first period was going wyte majjik. With the Sens looking all…on the road…in their road jerseys(?) Foligno puts one in, hooraw! It was pretty awesome to watch him trying to look like it not the huuuugest monkey off his back. Playing it cool with a semi-enormous smile. I don’t know…good for him. Something to hopefully quell the constant questions and trade talk to get him back to focusing on just playing the game.

So now back to…

Scoring only one goal on Andrew Raycroft 2.0: Scoring only one goal on Martin Gerber Edition.

That first period was cirque de whatev. The Oilers playing a road game made the Senators look like The Harvey Globetrobblers. I shit you not splornts fans, Chris Neil made a spinnerama cross ice pass…and got away with it. I mean elements of it were fun…I loved watching dudes blow a tire and slowly get back up on one knee and realize that they still had the puck and that no one on the Oilers was challenging them for it. Note that I said DUDESSSS(SSS) as in this happened more than once…in one period. Kovalev is hilarious in these situations it’s like he is looking for the heaviest lane of traffic to wire a pass through just to express his inner experimental jazz feelings. THEN MARTIN GERBER ALMOST SCORED ON HIMSELF. Things were looking alright.

Then as the end of the first period began to winddown and I thought out loud, “I don’t like this one goal lead business” – James, Hockey Game / Source Awards Watcher, 2010.
As much as people said the leaves did not bring it on Saturday night it was not like that first period against the Oilers. They were so flat that surprise surprise the Sens decided to not stack up a 19 goal lead but rather put on Speed 2: Cruise Control (Available on blu ray Dec 2 at Best Buy)…oops sorry mean garbagebarf control, apologies…apologies all around…and then yeah next thing you know Martin only faces only 23 shots and starts looking good …Andrew Raycroft good. And then the Sens take turns reading Architectural Digest on the toilet in the penalty box (why that is, is baffling me btw the Oilers are softer than Erik Karlsson’s baby ‘stache trust me…I know from experien…I cant even finish this joke I have heart burn). Then I go to bed…forever. JUST KIDDING YALL IM ALIVE (for now) I just wish I did.

As a fist time caller long time listener I have 2 questions….
1. Is anyone justified in getting excited for that game against actual team San Jose after last night’s toilet fest? To recap the EDMONTON OILERS…won…sorry phone call I absolutely have to take this, Blog. ill be right with you…Hello, CCFR, former staff writer James speaking how may I …oh last night? it was 4-1…sorry? Oh yeah, no yeah, yeah…The Oilers. No the NHL’s Edmonton Oilers. Yes, the total was 4…hmm? Yeah they scored 4 times. To yeah, you got it…to ..to just one…yeap, no, no he was in net, yes Martin Ger-…yes, im sorry you sound a little shocked could you repeat your question please? Ohhh…yes, he is 38 years old…no, its quite old for an NHL goaltender. Mhmmm…mhmmm……….mmmmhmmmmm…well that’s because he played in Russia last year…yes, exactly, couldn’t stay on the leafs squad no…not good enough…yeh…well, yeah, yeah he cleared waivers …well, waivers are when a player fucking sucks so much that they…you got it. Okay, I have a blog that’s waiting…okay, thank you…
Sorry everyone…I was promoted to receptionist here recently.

Question 2. After that does Murray have to try to do big thangs?

Sens I would do the dignity of looking them in the eyes

Peter Regin….was looking …hockey… playing Daniel…Alfredsson…

Sens I would put in the penalty box even more often.

Erik Karlsson attempting like a …1 on 5 rush…that was plain weird.

Gobbledeegook

See above gobbledeegook

Conrad to James

I’m in the Toronto Porter Terminal right now, typing on a Mac computer so nice it reminds me that most of our posts are written with pen on a mousepad. I’m also a little jacked on free cappuccinos. And left all of my pants in the closet of room 552 of the Hilton. And my throat infection is roaring into its second week with a vengeance. And…the Sens lost to the Oilers. November isn’t going out quietly.

Last night I did a lil’ iPhone research while being kept awake by my nagging cough: did you know that the Senators are tied for 2nd blurst in the league in taking minor penalties? They’re only bottom ten when you factor in majors, but that’s because there are teams like the Islanders who have players like Zenon Konoptka who go out there and get one fighting major after every goal against (and that’s a lot). I couldn’t find a site that does period-by-period breakdowns of penalties taken, but I can only assume that most of those Sens minors happen in the 2nd period. I’m beginning to think that after the first Clouston should just walk into the dressing room and turn one of those tennis ball machines on the players to keep them frosty until the game starts again.

We’ve been talking about a trade a lot, but I’m starting to think one won’t happen (that’s the cue for one to immediately happen, eliminating what little credibility this site has). Because, let’s be honest: what does Murray have to trade? Several high-priced veterans on pace to score 45 points? A slightly used Foligno on pace for an epic three goals? A Peter Regin who will finish the season with seventeen billion assists playing with the team’s best players but can’t finish? Two goaltenders who seem like really nice guys? And what does he get for those moldy pyjamas? If we’re looking for an impact player, I don’t see it happening. Though I gotta say, there are enough insane old men in this league – Burke, Sutter, Sather – to make SOMETHING happen.

One thought on “2011.11.30: A Movember to barfmember

  1. (Picks up red phone on desk.) “Get me Bobby Butler!” This team can’t score. They have this weird cycle game thing going where they look effective but don’t generate any chances off of an entire shift spent in the other team’s end. What’s the point? They did a great job of capitalizing on the buds defensive miscues but how will they manufacture chances against better teams? (like the oil????)

    Chip, chase and cycle is soooo 2007. Anybody have any other ideas? Kovalev and Karlsson going 1 on whatever clearly isn’t working either.

    Remeber that stat where Ottawa was the NHL’s version of the Green Bay Packers when scoring first? Yeah that’s out the window. Every coach with a menswear contract can point to Ottawa’s choking hazard. Great motivation for opposing, halfway decent teams in the room between periods. These are facts.

    Clouston needs to wake up and realize that the word is hot on the streets, Ottawa’s as predictable as an epsode of Murder She Wrote.

    Notice I haven’t begun to address the issue of penalties, I’m tired of talking about that one.

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