Conrad

So, Pete and I watched the game in a bar with lots of completely silent people wearing Sens jerseys and one loud Rangers fan. Sounds about right.

Some observations:

Fisher’s ‘non-goal’ in the second, where he had Lundie beat and the puck hit one post, ricocheted off the other post, and then out without ever crossing the line, is a perfect metaphor for the Senators’ season so far. That and Gonchar falling on his ass.

Speaking of which: Time-outs in hockey are completely ridiculous. You spend two minutes watching the coach painstakingly diagram a play and then the whistle blows and everyone falls all over each other like toddlers. Or, in last night’s case, Spezza wins the draw back to Sergei Gonchar, who falls over and gives up the empty net goal. Triumphant.

I don’t know if Elliott needs to play a lot of games in a row to be good. But last night he certainly wasn’t good. I think it takes a miraculous act of goaltending, one that defies Euclid, to actually allow that Fedotenko goal from that angle and, of course, it goes without saying that to allow a goal from behind the goal line while hugging the post is truly incredible. Happens to the best of us (meaning them), I guess, but to have two such goals in one game is like being punched in one nut and then very soon after being punched in the other nut. By Ruslan Fedotenko.

Pete

I assumed that one loud rangers fan was a degenrate gambler since he never really got loud again after New York tied it for the first time. Once the rangers beat the spread with the empty netter he was probably just as despondant as the rest of us.

Speaking of that first Rangers goal, it was memorable because we actually got to watch Gonchar have a mental breakdown and you didn’t need the telestrator to illustrate it. Stepan crosses the blueline with Gonchar graciously donating ample time and space, drops the puck to Gaborik who, according to Ottawa’s scouting report “plays hockey” and then… (wait for it) … STEPAN PROCEEDS TO GO TO THE NET!!! Where the fuck did you think he was going Sergei? He waltzed right past you and filed his nails waiting for the return feed. Elliott was helpless! Sometimes I think we need to start watching Sens games in abandoned warehouses and foreign protectorates with lax property laws so we can riot and march on the capital with little to no reprocussions. It’s torch and pitchfork time. (If you’ll allow me to continue Conrad’s Dickensian theme)

But that wasn’t the best part, there were certain individual players who seemed determined to out do themselves in the pants-shitting department. Elliott’s post allergy Conrad alluded to was topped by the five hole gift he gave Sauer on the PP. I already mentioned Gonchar’s wet brain fart, only to be topped by his pirouette and fall down off the draw.

Slow clap