psshhht...more like...AK...72! wtvr #hilaaaaaariousjoke

Helllooooooo everybody and welcome to a game that has Alexei Kovalev in it! So FINALLY, Kovalev returns to fasdfjhklfdjg against his former fasdfkl;rgbvbmnx tonight at Scotiabankplace.tumblr.tv
If this game is like any of the times he faced his former clubs (including Pittsburgh) as a Senator, Kovy shooooould be registering 0Gs 0As and skate to a disinterested -2. Okay, in fairness, that’s when he was playing for the BRUUTAL pre fire sale Senators …you KNOW this guy will score a heroic game winning goal because he is seriously the most frustrating player in the game.

You know what I think about this whole Kovalev thing?

“What is it?!?!?” – Everyone.

I am glad you asked, Everyone!

I don’t give a crunch about this dude anymore and I for one am very happy about that. Guy can go win the Stanley cup every single day till he retires at age 50. You know why? He doesn’t play for the Senators for $5M dollareedoos (all figures in Australian currency) per year. I remember back when Kovalev was left at home while rest of the Canadiens went on a road trip so he could catch up on his Small Engine Cessna Aficionado subscription I remember thinking, “Good lord, I am glad THAT dude does not play for the Sens.” And then my daymares came true and I got to think about like “why the hell did fans protest when the Habs weren’t going to resign him?”

Getting Kovalev off the books as quick as possible (albeit for a verrry whatevs pick but also for no salary in return!) has freed up the Sens roster and allowed future playboys like Bobby “BEEEEE” Butlah to play the top 6 minutes their game is designed for. And that’s been working out and that’s nice and I like things that are nice.

Craig Lee-Anderson gets the start and he is good at goaltending. Jason Spezza looks to score his billionth point of the last two weeks tonight, seriously dude is on a MISSION. What eeeeeelse? Oh Jim O’Brien draws into the lineup bringing much needed hilarious two way hair. Defensemen Andre Benoit has been brought up as well. Benoit is a human man…according to his Wikipedia stub plays professional hockey (cant confirm that Wikipedia exists btw).
Conversely, down to the Playoff Fightin’ Binghamton Squad are recent acquisition and star of Hollow Man 3, Ryan Poutine-ly (did this guy even play?) as well as defensemen D. Smith, who is not Zack Smith. The CCFR wishes both players best wishes and hopes they can find their visibility cloaks down in Binghamton*
*While in Binghamton, NY stop by T.J. Knickerbockers for their World Famous Pizza Salad in an Eggo bowl!  

Prediction Thing:  Alexei Kovalev – 0 points in last 6 games according to tsn.ca/nhl.angelfire.datelinenbc.html.co.nz will probably find a way to score because that’s gunna be stupid and i dont like things that are stupid so stupid things will happen.

Thing: Can you spot thing awesome thing in the background of Steven’s Shame day Image?

Serious bit: Please donate to the good people doing truly important work down at Rogers House tonight for their telethon. http://www.rogershouse.ca/en/ Roger’s House provides a “home away from home” for children with life-limiting illnesses and their families.

 Enjoy the game everyone!

 “We will” – Everyone