I once read an interview where Morrissey described Prince William and Kate Middleton as, “so dull as people that it is actually impossible to discuss them.” Oh Moz, I bow to the Queen of All Bitches. Anyway, if I am Morrissey the Carolina Hurricanes are my Will and Kate. This team has a frigging Stanley Cup banner and boasts some bona fide stars on their roster and yet I still find it a chore to even look at how they’ve performed in their last 5 games.
Oh, super the Hurricanes are a perfectly .500 team and their last game against Ottawa had a 1-0 result whew boy…it’s tired in here *yawn* ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

The biggest factor in this game for me in terms of entertainment value is that it’s going to be played at Scotiabank Place. I skipped out on last Friday’s game because I HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF THIS YOU KNOW!!! and I absolutely loathe games played at the PNC centre in Raleigh. That place has the most noticeably shitty ice in the league. This is especially frustrating when your favourite team has Jason Spezza on it and when he plays there none of his moves work, he gets frustrated and tends to play poorly. What’s that? Jason Spezza doesn’t play for this team right now? Oh, well let’s get into it then…

What’s Reasonable to Expect From Kyle Turris and How Much is it Going to Cost Me In Taxes?

Let me start by saying “Thank Jah the team has a guy this skilled right now”. While he’s not flying out there like he was at the very beginning of the season he doesn’t look at all lost and is still contributing with 2 points in his last two games. That said, other than a shootout marker in a losing effort against Pittsburgh, Turris hasn’t scored a regulation goal since the loss to the Scampi Tail Lightning on January 25^th. Soooo  that was almost two weeks ago. I am a bit divided as to how to feel about Turris of late. He is holding it down in an unexpected role with competence which is awesome but also…two weeks is starting to be a long frigging time to go without a goal after potting 4 in 4 games to start the season. What say you gentle reader? Is Turris chugging along just fine or is he struggling to finish on the top line? If he continues to line up with players who possess shots like Alfie and Zibanejad do I could see him switching his role to playmaker and carry on stacking up the assists.

I Just Flew In From Raleigh and Boy Are My Erik Karlssons Playing Over 30 Minutes A Game.

This is already becoming a bit of a tired storyline. In my opinion, Karlsson’s 2+ minute shifts and 30+ minutes a game will only be a factor when HE ACTUALLY SHOWS ANY SIGNS OF FATIGUE. Tuesday was Karlsson’s 3rd game in 5 days and he logged 31 minutes and he was great offensively notching his 4^th goal and even saw time on a penalty kill that stymied the Sabres a perfect 4 times. He has been dominant nearly every time he has the puck on his stick even showing tremendous effort to regain possession when something goes wrong.

Apparently, tonight will see the return of Sergei Gonchar and the Ottawa debut of Mike Lundin. These two should serve to take a little pressure off of EK. I hope Gonchar is back in game shape as the person he’s ostensibly replacing in Patrick Wiercioch has not looked out of place in his stead the past few games. Mike Lundin I expect little more than an Ikea Billy Bookcase-like performance. Sounds like he is simply a lower pairing D man and this will be his first game with a new club so…get out there and be a $99.00 birch veneer bookshelf (as in be dependable as in don’t fuck up).

Craig Anderson’s 2^nd and 3^rd Period Shutout Streak Only Went 9 Games? Shame!

Tonight might end up being another goaltending duel like last game against the Canes that I thankfully didn’t watch but could imagine…The Sens have lit up a couple backups so far this season but Dan Ellis is no Jhonas “Big Rig Wobbler” Enroth. With a .942 PCT in his last 3 games Carolina could have quite the one-two punch in net with Cam Ward. Again, I say “could” because I am unsure because I fell asleep from boredom trying to research that claim. If the last game against Carolina demonstrated one thing it’s that even with the exception season Andy is having thus far he can’t win every game without scoring support. There are going to be a lot of nights where its going to take 4 goals to eek out a victory. Also shout out to André Benoit’s ballin’ shot block to save the game. Sloppy an affair as it was Tuesday’s win against Buffalo was the kind of full team effort the Sens will need on a consistent basis to stay high in the conference standing and make the post season.

Enjoy the game?

ENJOY THE GAME!

Anti-Stall Brothers Pump Up Jam: