Hi. What of it? Who cares.
Let’s get right straight into today’s Hype Jam presented by Crystal Lite:
You exercisers out there, you are the true champeens. KEEP FIT AND HAVE FUN MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So here’s the good news. The margin of error is huge here. Thanks to the Toronto Mapleaves basically anything north of allowing 9 goals will seem reasonable if Ottawa loses. If they take this baby to overtime? That’s basically like 3.4 spiritual victories right there! United in expectations! Cap Floor Makes Us!
K, here’s the bad news. The team we’re playing scored nine fucking goals in their last game. 8 different scorers too. E’rrybody feelin that fresh biscotti confidence right now. Which is nice? …for them?
Needless to say, the Sens are in for quite a challenging stretch of games playing the Preddss, the Winged Wheel and the Bluesmen twice over the next week or so. Daunting? Yes. Also a chance to make a statement or two? I JUST JINXED IT AND YOU’RE ALL WELCOME.
Let us be the seriousness for a moment. You wouldn’t know it by hanging around on twitter but the Senators have actually won more games than they have lost this season and are holding down a bubble spot in the ToiletEast.
Looking back at the team’s wins thus far, they have pretty much exclusively been beating hurtin’ ass teams (Columbus, Edmonton) and aight teams (Detroit, Minnesota). That alone is basically a better performance than last year but I cant help but notice the only very good team they’ve defeated so far was Tampa Bay in just their second game. When it comes to the high qual lot of opponents the Sens appear to be in the “Good for them for keeping it close and making a game of that loss” (like when they played Chicago) or “Hey came out with a point!” (like when they played Chicago) phase of things. Am I suggesting that they are due to beat a very good team like Nashville? Nah, nothing’s handed to nobody in this league (writing!) but I am hoping for them to surprise in a couple of these upcoming games as I cant help but look compulsively at the standings these days. Sure, it’s still so early in the season that less than 10 points separates Ottawa from the conference crown (not that I remotely expect that) but what I’m fixated on is that currently a mere 4 points could bounce Ottawa out of Wild Card territory and into what hockey historians call “the actual mix.” (Citation not needed as citations are a form of snitching).
Given the parity in the league these days, tiny point differentials in the standings tend to stick around all season, but still I feel like the longer the Sens can keep themselves above 8th place, the more they can get away with their average ways. *eyebrow wiggle, wink, tear*
With games in hand on a lukewarm Detroit, a lumbering Boston and a Toronto team that is currently a Diarrhea Factory that’s on fire and the only thing to put it out are high powered diarrhea hoses, the door is open for Ottawa to maybe move up a spot or two in the standings.
But again, HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY they are about to play a team that scored 9 fucking goals in their last game BUT AT LEAST THEY ARE ONLY IN FIRST PLACE IN THE CENTRAL DIVISION.
Your Starting Goalies: A Tradition of Respect…Continues.
Robinne Lehner gets the start in net. He is still searching for his first win since
1. The birth of his son Sycamore Aloysius Lehner
2. The creation of this assholish thing I came up with. What was I saying? Oh yeah,
3. Lehnny, c’mon, win the fucking game.
That’s simply a tremendous and helpful list right there.
Really though, I wish Lehner got a start on that road trip. I can’t be certain it would have resulted in more W’s and of course Andy has been playing out of his mind but therein lies a bit of an issue for me. You keep playing the hot hand in Anderson like MacLean did one has to assume that he’s eventually going to have a weak game like he did against Calgary. I tend to think that after a while you’re kind of playing Russian roulette with his sharpness. Whatever, I don’t fucking know (THANKS FOR READING) but I was really on board with the true tandem thing and now Lehner has to come in to a pretty huge game after not having played in about 2 weeks and is coming off of a loss himself. Hopefully he doesn’t look it because we really, really really need him at his best tonight (aaaaaaaaadoi).
Something called Carter Hutton starts for the Predators. In playing a goalie I have never heard of and at age 28 has fewer than 50 NHL starts, Nashville is carrying on a tradition of respect given to the Sens for a few years now. Nashville is playing great and have some serious MFs on defense but I would love for Ottawa’s snipers to take advantage of facing so many backups. I would imagine that part of being the lowest paying team in the league that’s somehow in a playoff spot is capitalizing on teams underestimating you like this. Let’s stress out the Jason LaBarbaras of the world with high clappers and low blocker shots, huh?
Legs Will Be Wands.
Well, a big story going into the game is no doubt Coach Yod’s Psychedelic Rock Lines (available on gatefold special edition tie dye vinyl). The most controversial of all being the Greening – Legwand – Ryan line. A combo that I honestly can’t even picture those players’ friends and relatives even being stoked on.
David Legwand has not been well received so far and with fair reason. Having watched him in 17 games it’s pretty crazy to believe this guy put up 51 points last year. What’s interesting for me is that he was brought on to insulate the center position and I was wondering how long it would be before MacLean needed to bump down a struggling Zibanejad and promote Leggz (assuming that has to be his nickname) so the 21 year old could regroup. Assuming the lines remain comme ca:
What positives can be taken out of it?
Hmmmmm. *25 minutes later* …..Okay I got a couple of things!
The bizarre feeling second line of Michalek – Zibanejad – Ryan did precious little to warrant MacLean keeping them together, so I suppose were not “losing out” on it’s demise to the shuffle. I do in one sense get that if there’s a player who could spark a second line that as shitty as this one, it’s Ryan rather than Chiasson. In fact, Chiasson has actually demonstrated a pretty impressive affinity for deflections at the goal mouth or at the very least, posing a threatening distraction that goalies must deal with while MacArthur takes a glamorous shot (Of Note: Faces Magazine voted MacArthur’s shot Ottawa’s Sexiest Shot to pose a threatening distraction to on a first date). I don’t mind him staying up with 7 and 16.
*Completely skips over Michalek – Smith – Neil line*
Listen lady, we’re all sensitive people with so much to give and we have to YOLO every minute of our stupid lives whether it’s in the form of helping your dad move his office over the course of an entire Sunday, buying a new shower curtain or enjoying a hockey game on a Thursday following a week of no hockeys.
To this end, before the season started, if you showed me a piece of paper with “Hoffman – Zibanejad – Stone” on it, I’d probably say, “That’s a pretty exciting piece of paper you have there. Some dynamic things written on it as well. Care for one of these Rolos? Bet you havent had one of these in ages! When I was a kid I used to like putting them in the freezer and– ” And it goes on like this. Anyway, that could be a pretty fun line to watch. I think Zibenejad has the potential to create a lot of space for Stone and Hoff. Hopefully this trio clicks to the point that they get more ice time than 9 -15- 25. A GIRL CAN DREAM AFTER ALL.
I’m not even going to talk about defense. Fuck it. Thanks 4 reading.
Enjoy the game and remember: A win is a win is a anything better than a 9-2 loss.
OH MY GOD VARADA did you and James plan this bc this is literally everything I need atm
loved the Aerobics .. 🙂
Yoooo I’m pretty jazzed up for Zibby with Hoffman & Stone mostly because this means he won’t get killed defensively anymore thru 0.0000 OZ % start-ups! *CHEEER* TBH, I feel like Michalek-Smith-Neil was basically inevitable Oh Milo, why does he do this to my feelings… Anyway, that’s a good point about Anderson — if we play our goalies to the point where they predictably have one stinky game, that puts that much more pressure on the other goalie. Sooo let’s not do that. Final PROTIP: patent “Legs Will Be Wands.” ASAP because before you know it someone’s going to start a blog with that gold!
Wondering if we can work “I’m not even going to talk about defense. Fuck it. Thanks 4 reading.” into the banner somewhere.
Idea: A t shirt that says “I’m not even going to talk about defense. Fuck it. Thanks 4 reading.” above a picture of the Spin Doctors’ Rolling Stone Magazine cover photo with *Completely skips over Michalek – Smith – Neil line* on the back.