So Who Even Plays for Philly These Days? *looks up roster* …OH, Everyone!
You know you’ve got an Island of Misfit Toys lookin ass roster when you start your season with Carlo Colaiacovo in the line up. Now there’s a player you could tell me was a periodic healthy scratch in the Italian League or a first pairing defender on the *yawwwn* Carolina Hurricanes and I’d believe you either way. Waat, they also have RJ Umberger? Wow, this team is chock full of guys who I’ve definitely heard of but could give 0.00 fucks about.
This Team Seems Oddly Phamillyar…
They have a well respected gamer of a captain who’s seemingly keeping this thing from becoming a complete shit show (Giroux), a washed up but once great 1000 point(ish) player getting way too much money on a bad contract (Lecavalier), sub-par goaltending tandem capable of frustratingly few flashes of greatness (Mason/Emery), an underappreciated dude racking up a ton of points (mostly assists) largely in losing efforts (Voracek), a solid, heart and soul assistant captain who’d be worth a ton in a trade (Simmonds), an aged veteran defensemen who despite nearing the end of his career is expected to be a linchpin and as a result can do no right in the fans eyes (Streit), and a talented but flawed young player that fans and management are just praying can take his development to the next level and help be a key to turn this thing around (Couturier (probably)). They also have a fairly inexperienced coach who after having a first full season behind the bench that saw a playoff birth, now seems a bit in over his head. This year they boast a losing record and all the while under the watchful eye of a scrutinous media!
So what I’m saying is the Philadelphia Flyers are the 2010-11 Ottawa Senators *danger flutes* “Good LUCK with that!”
No seriously peep these understudies…OH and be sure to click the suggested background music as you read the list. Feel free to add your own players in the comment section!
|Claude Giroux||Daniel Alfredsson|
|Vincent Lecavalier||Alex Kovalev|
|Mason/Emery/Frozen Dinner||LeClaire/Elliot/Frozen Dinner(s)|
|Jakub Voracek||Jakub Spezza|
|Wayne Simmonds||Mike Fisher|
|Mark Streit||Sergei Gonchar|
|Sean Couturier||I guess Erik Karlsson…whatver thx 4 reading|
|Jason Akeson||Peter Regin (seriously one decent playoff round and ninja: VANISH for both these guys)|
|Brayden Schenn||Nick Foligno|
|Michael Del Zotto||Chris Campoli|
|And the rest! (remember Ryan Shannon and Marek Svatos?)||Whew…look at the Flyers’ roster…this group is mostly “the rest.” Goddamn. Be thankful we only have one Colin Greening.|
Like the Senators of 2010-11, here we have a team with a recentish enough Stanley Cup Final appearance and enough good pieces kicking around that management might still believe in them and fans are maybe still thirsty enough to get behind them. But be warned they appear to be on a decline of frightening proportions that could prove lengthy.
It’s not all bad Flyers fans
who aren’t reading this, in fact, I have good news! I seened this movie before and I know how it ends: You’re off to the draft lottery! Which you’re going to lose to the fucking New Jersey Devils!
Being quite familiar with the 2010-11 Senators I can confidently say that tonight our beloved boys are facing an extremely beatable team that has the potential to surprise.
Bobby 4 Flyers Schmurda’er
I wonder if this is starting to become an obsessive thing with me but I’m going to write about it again and you’re going to float there and liste—WAIT WAIT WAIT DON’T CLOSE THE BROWSER I’LL BE QUICK, I PROMISE!
K, I am enamoured with the idea of players on our team becoming “[Insert team] Killers.”
It’s nice to have a bit of that swagger sauce going into another team’s building with the knowledge that one of your guys has a habit of tearing them up. You know, like how Johan Franzen must feel when having his pregame meal at Mucho Burrito at the Kanata Centrum (Voted Kanata’s worst designed Centrum every years running!). I suppose with the nail in the coffin goal in his last two games against Boston, that Bobby Ryan might be emerging as a bit of a Bruins killer…but having grown up a Flyers fan I’d love to see hi—
*Hologram version of me snatches microphone away, “Yo, me/you, Ima let me/you finish, I’m happy for me/you, Ima let me/you finish but Bobby Ryan emerging as an extremely effective player against a division rival that Ottawa’s struggled mightily against over the years like the Bruins is FAR more valuable to their playoff position of ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME.”*
As I was saying, considering that Bobby Ryan was a boyhood fan of the Flyers, it would be great to see him torch them in this season of weakness. No, seriously, they are worse than us. This is their first game on home ice in 19 days too. Hack the bone in front of friends and family, Bobby. HACK. THE. BONE.
Before I move on, while we’re still on this subject, all yall GTA born and raised ass guys on the Sens roster can become Leafs killers at ANY TIME NOW THANK YOU…which I guess…is just Mike Hoffman. Huh, well, I’m also counting you Clarke MacArthur*!
*You’re the best regardless tho, never leave us.
[Insert Weak Pageau-based Play On Words Here]
No secret around here but I’m a Pageau booster. Since a well earned call up Pager has been quiet but solid. In Sunday’s loss to the “Bolts” JGP was very, very good. He won 60% of his draws, took a team high 4 shots had 2 blocks and laid 5 hits, also a team high. Quiet about criticizing that hit stat before I rip up all your good Magic (tha gathering) cards and leave you with NOTHING but your mana pool. Nothing…but your stupid mana pool.
I for one don’t mind bottom 6 players who kill penalties taking the body. Most interesting of those numbers is that he led the team in shots. *tasteful pause for reflection* Yes, he had more shots than Erik Karlsson. Which I can’t tell if I’m happy about…because EK, who has 4, 564 shots in 38 games was outshot by an AHL call up who’s killing penalties.
Anyway, it’s tough to criticise Pageau in his 8 games so far. It can be hard to stand out in the bottom 6 where your job is being disciplined and structured. I think he’s exactly the kind of guy you want to call up in a jam. Such an upgrade from the Cody Bass days of yore. With a whole season sandwiched between his amazing playoff performance and now I suppose I am getting a bit worried that he might be falling into that Peter Regin (God bless the dead) place of making too strong a first impression and never being able to measure up as a result.
As a natural centre, he’s got time to make an impression as Zack Smith has just posted up on the top bunk of Marc Methot’s custom made hospital bed. Looking at last game’s numbers Pageau’s looking like he’s quietly trending in the right direction.
Giroux’s The Boss…and…he’s…not playing tonight. *pun: landed*
Something else I’ve harped on the past two season’s is how the Sens have a bit of a tough time taking advantage of fortunate circumstance. I think it’s great to watch them defeat a relatively healthy St. Louis Blues or Anaheim Ducks but don’t be afraid to throw in the odd win against a Claude Giroux-less Flyers. Sure, it’s on the road but hey, gotta win some of those road games too. Hahaha…ha…. seriously though, win the fucking game.
Anderson, who has a winning record (#blessed) gets his 25th start of the season (a season high for him!). He will square off against Frozen Dinner.
Enjoy the game. We have a 7pm start tonight so order your Bath Salts early!