19.10.2010: In which we submit to Clouston’s master plan

He’s got the NHL exactly where he wants it.

Conrad to James, Peter

Sens I would trade for future considerations

Clouston. Seems a little weird to blame him considering A) I don’t know what’s involved in coaching NHL hockey besides line combinations and preaching that everyone should “stick to our game.” (The very best coaches in the NHL are those who are able to actually affect the play of their team mid-game. If they’re able to do this, they ‘out-coached’ their opponent. The rest of the coaches seem to say “Get some pucks on net” and “clog the lanes” and “stay the course”) and B) I really can’t tell what Clouston is doing or not doing that he shouldn’t or should be. But it seems like when your team transforms into a sieve it might be time to start lining up along the blue line and playing the trap. Or maybe playing Matt freaking Carkner as a 1-2 defenseman against Crosby is just asking for it.

Elliott. 5 goals on 22 shots. I can’t believe we’ve burned through both starting goaltenders already. It will be interesting to see if they show any patience with this guy or if they just accept that he doesn’t have that high of a ceiling and go ahead with Lehner.

(And I can’t believe we saw Lehner again last night. I remember not so long ago James and I asking one another “Do you think we’ll get to see Lehner for a game or two this season?” One week into it, and he’s on his way to being our starter.)

Bryan Murray. Not only for letting all of our defensive defencemen walk, but because he’s traded for Comrie twice and probably could have re-signed him for a bag of potatoes and didn’t.

Kovalev. No explanation required.

Leclaire. Because we haven’t even heard how long he’ll be out. I assume he’s died.

Sens I would sign to lifetime deals

Alfie I guess? Michalek didn’t look too bad. Fisher is both attractive and personable, he’s going to have a strong career in project management.


Not much to say – Sens are playing like garbage. We’re not too far from switching from “All that cap space in the off season will mean we can go after Brad Richards!” to “All that cap space means it’s an ideal time to rebuild!” Fisher to Nashville? Alfie to Detroit? Spezza to Columbus? Kovalev to the KHL?

Peter to Conrad, James

Sens I would trade for future considerations

Clouston definately looked at little peeved at his team’s lack of effort. It honestly looks like everyone is standing around waiting for someone else to make a play. Seriously? If that’s your thought process, what are you doing in this league? Presumably you were the man at some point in your development, now you’re deferring because someone makes more money than you?

Kovalev’s struggles are drawing the attention of the hockey community at large. The next step is to organize a search party (complete with corpse handling gloves) followed by taking a moment to humor the children. “Kids, Alex is going to be just fine.”

Our defence pairings were shuffled last night with the Gonch and pretty boy Swede playing together while Carkner and Phillips formed the shut down pair. I’d research the numbers but the boxscore from last night looks like one of those hilariously underproduced driver’s ed videos that have a knack for fascinating and traumatzing at the same time.

Sens I would sign to lifetime deals

Carkner has a bright future in mixed martial arts/dance floor agitation (popped collar division). He looked good asserting his fist into people’s faces. It’s a crying shame he didn’t get started in hockey earlier.


The Islanders beat the leafs, and have accumulated roughly one tenth of the points necessary to secure a playoff spot. Similairly, this blog is well on its way to respectability. (Next week an interview with TSN’s playoff prognosticating rhesus monkey)

James to Peter, Conrad

In which I learn I AM turtlely enough for the McGuire’s Monsters Club

Sens I would trade for Porkbelly Futures:

Ehh…can you trade a dead last pick that defied the odds and just managed to make the NHL? I mirror Pierre McGuire’s thoughts that I have a ton of respect that a guy can be wearing an NHL uniform for a even one season after being picked something like 290 overall. I have relatives who were drafted higher than that and never got to play one game in the show. But we are living in a dream state if we think Elliot is a starter. He is a career backup who has been surrounded by a series of Leclairecumstances that have forced him into being #1…and it is NOT GOING WELL……………AGAIN.


That trade deadline can’t come soon enough, huh? No, but seriously folks, obviously the team isn’t clicking right now. Very few people look great as a result. I don’t think it needs a straight up “rebuild” – it is too detrimental to a franchise of our size. I also think we have a lot of good prospects right now. I mean yeah, NYI are rebuilding and as a result are almost the Kansas City Rockin’ Rollers. Do we want to be the Wilkes-Barre Senatoads? We need to Detroit that thang. Continue to draft well. It’s not like we are without good players. We are just glaringly missing some key pieces. Speed and Street Justice. Also, can we please put Gonchar back on the side he likes to play on? No? Well then, lets put Kovalev on a 2 min 5-on-3 kill too. Jeez Louise.

Rant Island:

So Volchenkov and Sutton walked. Fine. For Volchenkov, at this point he doesn’t know which puck to the solar plexus might be a career ender so he had to go to where the money was. Too rich for our team. Fine. I would have re-signed him but wtvr I’m still keeping all of my A Train poetry scrapbooks. Sutton? I’m sorry but as much as we think we had a love affair with that guy I remember it being more of a love/hate thing. We loved the thundering hits but loathed the lack of foot speed/age/constant penalties. Fine, off he goes. We didn’t need any more players north of 35 under contract. He’s currently injured and signed till 2012-2013. I made peace with this – which I seem to be doing a lot of lately.

What I couldn’t believe was that these dudes weren’t replaced. At all. Willy Mitchell, Shane O’Bryfaksdlfjferrgnk were kickin around… I know, I know cap cap cap but are defensive defensemen that expensive/ hard to land? Especially if we were willing to trade one of our many, many Jade Monkey Skulls (puck-moving D)? I just can’t believe Phillips and Carkner were expected to fill this void with no additional help. Especially in the Speedy East. Did too much faith in Cowan making the team cause this situation? So yeah to recap…

James’ Making Sense Corner:

I would trade Murray’s having not traded…someone something. Whatever, I make more sense than the gong show post game call-in thing on Team 1200. Have you heard this thing? It was my first time last night…whew boy. City be drunk/angry.

Sens I would sign to a Lifetime Movie Deal:

I think a lot of players are playing pretty decently as individuals (note: not as a team) actually. I have never seen Spezza back check so well (also putting up points at a per game rate); I think Alfie is a little hurt but is still contributing; Fisher has been consistent and a much-needed spark. Carkner punched a dude a lot.

Giant Sweedish Meatball in the Room:

When Pierre McGuire was asked (yeah, second PMcG ref of the day…what of it?) this morning “What do you do after that performance by Elliot? Do you just give Lehner a start against the Sabres?” To paraphrase, Turtleman answered “Hells yeah, Ellz been done a garbage dump so far, let him catch the gas face on the bench, youngin.” And I am WITH THAT. Knowing Clouston, Elliot would be riding the pine HARD after an outing like that. Give Lehner a start. He gets lit up he gets lit up. I feel like its time to give Elliot a night off of being the guy getting lit up.


4 stubs and 4 subs for the Phoenix game. The only things I am hitting the panic button about about are ticket sales and all the leafs gear I’ve been seeing around town lately.



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