2010.12.06: Brooooooooooooce. Gaaaaaaaarrrioch. Huuuuuungry.

Size approximate.

Peter to James, Conrad

Hoho, so the master of disaster himself, Bruce R. Garrioch published an article a couple of days ago saying how the Sens are targeting Kevin Bieksa in a possible trade.

At this point I’d like to remind you that I suggested this a while back in the context of targeting him in Free Agency. Why trade for a guy who’ll probably bolt unless he gets overpaid? Cause you know he’s going to get overpaid.

Also at this point Garrioch should just try and transpose the sound of him radiply expelling air from betwixt his pursed lips. It’s probably the most passive aggressive way of stating the obvious, to wit:

I understand the context of all this. It’s obvious the Sens are a little too puck moving/puck losing/caught up ice/Karlssonwhatthefuckareyoudoing? on the back end. Can we come to a verdict on this whole speedy gonzalez experiment with Ottawa’s defenceman?

They are the mister toad’s wild ride of defence corps, seemingly benign yet so terrifying that no lead is safe. While they held on for the win last night, Karlsson was out of control, Gonchar was thinking about the russian mafioso sitting behind the penalty box and Phillips was running in sand like he was goddamned Apollo Creed. (As an aside Kelly and Ryan Shannon were the best sens last night,)

Andy Sutton our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

Conrad to Peter, James

I saw that story – not a horrible scenario, by any means, as I think Bieksa could help. Pete, with you and I having both lived in Vancouver I think we’ve seen our share of Canucks games, and if your impression is the same as mine, Bieksa is a guy who can log a lot of minutes and be a real dick when he needs to be. He’s unappreciated in Vancity, but only because that team is ridiculous and they have better options.

The problem is that he’s making $3.5M this year, so who goes back to Vancouver in the deal? They’re unlikely to want to take back the same amount of salary, given they probably want to add someone at the deadline, and the Sens don’t have much in the way of prospects to offer (unless they part with one of their blueline gems, which would be awful). I don’t know how the math could work. Also, it’s Bruce Garrioch, which means that it’s not true at all.

Finally, this team has a log jam on the backend and not a lot of quality up front. Adding another dman who is well suited to a 3-4 pairing doesn’t really help matters. If this teams wants to run with a high-octane transition game, then it needs to add some scoring. But I do agree with you, Pete, that watching a Sens game these days is a little like watching 19 drunk guys and one person named E. Karlsson on speed.

Speaking of the little wood nymph, I hear he was all over the place in the game against Buffalo. I can’t find a highlight of it. But I would imagine that he would, in fact, play much better 4-on-4, where the other team can’t take away his space.

And finally, big ups to Kelly on his first NHL hat trick. We tend to forget that Kelly has been on this team for a long, long time, because he obviously isn’t the flashiest of players. But he’s come through a few times this season and last, and delivered the much-needed win.

James to Conrad, Peter

Hold on Pete, just got a text from Andy Sutton, lemme just cut and paste: “JR plz add me on twittr (@RUAnXpert?) RE: Pete’s mention of me…B. Murrz and my agent are trying to get me back 2 Otowne by trade dedline in time 4 my dirty-ninth bday! LOLZ!!! So XCited!! OMG my broken Thumb hurtz from txting! C U on Pokerstars.net, Bro – AS”

I don’t really know much about B-X-Ah cept
1. He’s on OTR a lot
2. Was having a hard time getting signed in the off season (building value)
3. Name sounds made up.

Now, something I find tempting about him is that he is a West Coast player known for his mean streak so Good Side: Could potentially make short work of majority of East Coast Wieners (does that count us 3? That counts us 3), much needed shut down D! Bad Side: MORE PENALTIES?!?!?!! YAYYYYY!!!!, prob makes so much/too much money (hence trouble getting re-signed in off season).

I guess I’m a little anxious to see a patch to be applied to one of the team’s sadness holes and I think we can all agree that an almost complete lack of adequate top 4 shut down d one wasn’t exactly a secret going into the season so much as a problem that wasn’t solved by October. Now, I don’t want to go off on a rant here (I absolutely always do) but when it comes to *insert local sports team* usually the sentiment is that everyone on the team (minus Alfie)/entire coaching staff/GM is pretty much always seen as a terrible idiot who is forever fasrgrenfdklasj;df;lkg;dbn.

My point being the team is never going to be perfect and people can get a little over the top when criticizing. I suppose I can again look to Jason York’s point about how he wonders if we would all think Brian Lee is so god awful if he had gotten the same amount of time on the power play as Erik Karlsson was given? Personally, I like Karlsson better but it’s a decent point. Karlsson was BM’s guy since day one and Lee….well, Lee was thrust from US college into a playoff series that the team was looking to lose (read: did very much lose) anyway and has sort of never shaken that off that stigma if you ask me. Where am I going with this? –crystal meth break- K IM BACK! I have in the past let the rest of the Sens fan world carry the weight of hating Filip Kuba’s guts. It was my thinking that people just wanted too much of Kuba because he is a large body but not so much a physical player. I thought, well, he posts up a lot of assists and maybe that’s more his thing than laying people out. I mean Spezza is big but I don’t expect him to concuss anyone (though him getting on the score sheet again would be nice). . . so flash forward to right now…Please to be letting me get behind all of those pushing the Kuba Kaboose out of town. I know he is coming off an injury and is probably not eager to mash Milan Lucic’s face in but good lordington I can’t stand watching this guy play. We already have a Chris Phillips underperforming and that’s a good amount for now. It’s not so much that he’s packing peanut soft (it is…also, he kind of looks like a packing peanut a little) but it’s that lackadaisical (who the fuck came up with that word?) play of not really being effective offensively or defensively rotten mayonnaise that is killing this team right now he seems to be poster boy for. I’ve been watching that dude lately just cringing. To me, Karlsson and Campoli bring more leadership to the team, which makes so little sense right now that … I don’t know ugh…lets just cut to an overview:

1. Not really bringing it offensively
2. Looking timid defensively (a nice shot block last night though)
3. Injured a lot (was hurt blocking said shot block)
4. Makes over 3M bones per
5. Whew boy
6. Annoying spelling of given name

Question is can we get rid of this guy for anything? Sort of like a street cred Brian Lee… Hey, rest of NHL here is a guy with decent upside who has barely showcased his decent upside! Must see equal to more value on return! WB!

Can somebody get me the country of origin of the last name Biexa …again…sounds made up.

Conrad: Karlsson was looking inspired on the closing mins of the 5 on 5 and more so 4 on 4. I would have liked to have seen him given a top 3 shot on the shootout. Play the guy who looks like could win you the game (so…not Kovalev)

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