Where does this leave our resident image genius Steve, for whom Kovalev provided the best material? Can he perform similar miracles with Michalek, who looks like an escaped chimp?

James

Kovalev to Pittsburgh in exchange for S. Crosby, E. Malkin, J. Staal and a 1st Rounder!

Conrad

I can’t even think of anything to say to analyze this except that I know Kovalev sucks, and I hate him, and even I’m a little puzzled that he only got a 7th rounder. He got less than Jarkko Ruutu. I know he’s terrible, and costs a lot, but I thought at least a 5th for a veteren on an expiring contract with good playoff numbers.Anyway, I’m wrong. Pick is conditional. If Pens make it past the 1st round and Kovalev plays in fifty percent of the games, it turns into a 6th. Which is a fucking hilarious condition, because I can see him leaving 1/3 of the way through the third game and it turning into a math equation. Plus, the more he plays, the more he sucks. Maybe Murray coulda waited until deadline day? See if anyone missing out on the good players gets desperate?

Now’s a good time for a retrospective on Kovalev’s time in Ottawa. Just imagine a donkey defecating in the street. That’s it. He did nothing, he made way too much, he’s KHL bound after these playoffs so I hope, for his sake, that he tries. This is his swan song. Just like…a…donkey…? Never mind.

Also, Ottawa picks up Marek Svatos on waivers! (*farting sound*)

James

Hey just ordering my authentic 300 dollar on ice Svatos jersey…(obviously Black S.N.E.S. 3rd jersey)

Conrad I think you saying “He did nothing, he made way too much, he’s KHL bound after these playoffs so I hope, for his sake, that he tries. This is his swan song” and again, taking ZERO salary back might explain is why its a seventh rounder.

Listen, before I go too far the other way i think its a pretty insane return…i would have thought 4th round. I just look at it as getting him off the books and taking no salary back = more money for the scoreboard piggy bank.

I used to be like “god why do people give so much of a crap about the scoreboard” then i saw the Hurricaines scoreboard at the all star game and with tears forming in my eyes said “i get it now” its like how you think Blu Ray isnt a big deal until someone with Planet Earth invites you over to watch it on their HD tv.

Pete

Just like I thought… Meh okay I thought bri mur would wait the final two games before dealing AK. Then again it’s been a while since he took a few games off with a hyperextended glavin.

No salary back. Nicely done. Are we going to see some of these picks put together in a package for JM Liles? Vokun?

Hoooow weeeee!, B Murray’s wheel-and-deal meter is approaching dangerous, Sutter-ian le

Conrad

So, to Pens fans who might be checking out this blog to see what you got: apparently, having Kovalev for the playoffs was always the plan for Ottawa, but he was hurt in the first year of his contract ,and we’re obviously light years from the playoffs now. But there’s some logic at play here. Also, he can’t possibly not live up to the cost, even if he only scores a couple of goals on the 2^nd unit PP. But man, will he ever piss you off. Prepare for some sick stickhandling up until he hits the blue line, then he’ll toss it away. Postgame interviews will also be 170% Zen and an anecdote about not sweating the small stuff or changing a thing, even as Bylsma probably says something about expecting more from him. Congratulations!

Prianka

I’m not too surprised that Kovalev only brought in a 7th round (I think it’s 6th, depending on his performance in Pitts). You just know Murray and Melnyk hated him for making $5M a year to either turn over the puck or be the world’s laziest skater. Like everyone else is saying, it is definitely so that we didn’t have to take back any of his salary.