2011.02.24: In which we sing The Ballad of Bobby Bultaterro

Conrad

Hey guys, I just wrote this song.

“Baaahhhhbeeeeee / Bahbee Butlaaaa-aaaaahhhh / Like fifteen Dean McAmmonds, on the surface of an ice / cold suuuuuuuuuuuun / scored two motherfucking goals / the guys are feeding him all night, awesome / hadouken”

Now that that’s out of the way, you want to know why Cory Clouston is fucking nuts? Ryan Shannon on the point of the power play, that’s why. Sure, there’s literally no one left in this lineup, but can’t Brian Lee get something resembling love? He’s gotta play a preschooler making $500k a year as power play quarter back? Crazier still, it sort of worked. Shannon didn’t flub the puck at the blue line, and scored a goal.

Speaking of Brian Lee being fuckin’ awful, that goal by the Cats (I love that this is short for Panthers. Adorable team name, wish the logo was one of those carpet-covered climbing things) was textbook Terrible Season Senators. Higgins blows by Lee, takes a brutal shot on net, but it reflects off of Phillips’ skate and in. Two minutes later, Carkner, in an attempt to spark his team, takes a needless roughing penalty.

Anyway, more Bobby Butler. Kid goes 11 games without a point. Not goal. A point. Now he’s got five goals in five games. Can we agree that maybe playing him on the fourth line for two minutes a night was a terrible idea and that the guy belongs up there with some talent? He’s a friggin’ scorer, you need to put him with a pivot, give him power play time, not ask him to be a checking power forward. Anyway, Kovalev has 14 goals, fuck that guy. He kills his own team’s penalty stick handling into the corner. Also, there was only five minutes left in the game, Butlahhhh has two goals, Sens are on the power play and Clouston doesn’t put him out there. Does this guy just completely misread his bench or what? (Butler’s awesome.)

You know who else ain’t bad? Spezza. That guy gets a bum wrap, from me occasionally, but he might actually be undervalued, even at $7M. Such a dynamic player. (Probably not undervalued.)

The Panthers are one awful team. I don’t know what the hell Dale Tallon is going to do with them. That’s a five year rebuild if I ever saw one. Look at the Sens lineup. No Alfie, Gonchar, Karlsson, Fisher gone, Kelly gone, and the Panthers lose 5-1. Barf.

Hey, Brian Elliott is playing tonight! Against the Oilers! I can’t wait to read the Avalanche blogs tomorrow to see if they’re like “What….did we…do?”

Marc

I get sooooo pissed off when Clouston traps it up with the lead. Keep that pressure going all game and up the sonic booms.

Here’s what happened after the Great Flushing of 2011: goodiness in the form of hockey intelligence. This team is thinking before reacting. Is it me just me (or the listerine/blue caracao cocktail now known as the Plaqueless Blue Ball Buster) or is this team showing tons of patience, waiting for the play to develop before doing….well….any hockey related action with the puck. I’m feeling the youth movement (that sounds disgusting).

Butler is the new Heatley without the crashed baggage, Manson eyes and lack of respect for back checking. B-Spot is really killing it right now without Alfie, Van Allen, Brunet and Bonk in the lineup. Sign him to a Dipietro type contract now!! But add 10 years.

A miracle happened tonight: Kuba skated and hard at that! Next step which is kinda important if you’re a defenseman: learn how to clear the frickin zone, especially on the PK. Why the hell is he on the PK to begin with?

Prianka

I wish I had had the effort to get out of bed this morning to watch the Florida game. Butler and Anderson seem to be really rocking it, but c’monnnnnnn I thought we were after a top 3 draft pick?! I hate to be that fan that complained about the team sucking all year, and is now complaining because they’ve posted back to back wins for the first time in over two months but if we win too many games and end up 20th or 21st overall, this really will be the worst and most useless season in Senators history. Also we will have traded guys like Fisher and Kelly for no reason – turns out the real change that needed to be made (big surprise, right …) was the goaltender.

When is the trade deadline anyways? I can’t even keep track of what day/time it is in Ottawa these days. Are we trading Kovalev, Gonchar and Phillips are what? I know Phillips would like to stick around and help with the rebuild, and I suppose it isn’t the worst idea but I am ready to see the backs of Kovy and Gonchar.

My friend who has been traveling for the last two months or so is still confused about how our goalies went from being Elliot and Leclaire to Anderson and Lehner within the span or two or three weeks. I say we play Lehner for the rest of the year. It will let him get comfortable, ensure there aren’t too many wins and it will preveent Anderson from getting injured. Then next year we come out with Karlsson, Anderson, Butler and Lessard/Cowen to destroy everyone and anyone. Could be the fastest rebuild ever! Or maybe I am getting ahead of myself after beating two barely mediocre teams.

Conrad

The deadline is this coming Monday. Should be good. I suspect Kovalev is gone, and Phillips too. If Phillips wants to stick around, that’s cool. Just get traded for a pick, then re-sign in the off season, that’s what I would say to him. There’s helping with the rebuild by being around, and then there’s actually helping with the rebuild. We need that pick. As for Gonchar, I think it would be a miracle if someone traded for him. They could have had him in the summer for nothing, but Ottawa out-bid everyone. Why would they give up a pick now to pay terms that Ottawa agreed to?

As for not getting a top three draft pick, I wouldn’t worry: Sens are still four points back of the Isle for 3rd last overall, and seven back of NJ for 4th last. And only one point up on the Oil for 1st overall. We’re getting a top three pick.

Speaking of the Oilers, they beat the Avalanche last night 5-1, scoring 5 goals on 31 shots on…Brian Elliott. Poor guy. I’m not into Schadenfreude, so I won’t pile on, but needless to say: the boy’s just not right this season.

Pete

Watching a sens game these days is like watching an political ad on TV. Sure this guy sounds legit but I’m waiting for evidence of serious malfeasance. The Sens jettisoned serious talent in Kelly and Fisher and still went on to pound the cats. What kind of bizarro universe is this? Why are revolutionary ideas making sense? Yes we should harvest old people so we can extract viable nutrients from them.

Anyways the cats made them look sharp, Kuba wasn’t a liability on the back end and the Bingo line of Condra, O’Brien and Greening was pretty sharp (Incidentally, the sens skills competition was pretty eye opening since Greening was the fastest skater and finished second in the hardest shot)

Fear not draft-niks, we still suck, we’ll still get that delicious top three pick.

What I’m concerned about is who coaches this team next year, everyone has Clouston out the door, but I’m not so sure anymore since his roster next year will be about as mature as any AHL roster. I think he sticks around so he can put Shannon on the PP point (worked) and play Foligno at centre (what the hell, he’s not a winger?)

Conrad

Same thing happened in Atlanta last year. They lose Kovalchuk, everyone thinks they’ll go 0-22 to finish the season, and instead they go on a run.
 
As for coaches, man I dunno. I really fucking hope it’s not Bob Hartley or Ken Hitchcock. Dudes are rumored every single time there’s a vacancy. May as well be Patt Quinn. They need to do what Yzerman did in Tampa this year: go out and find whatever AHL savant is trying out new systems. Go new school.

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