Yep, Kipper's mask is really that badass.

 Everybody!

There’s a hockey game taking place tonight! And by tonight, my little Eastern Standard Timers, I mean, this thing pops off at 9:30pm. You see friends, back in the 1850’s God invented something called TIME ZONES and on Saint Christmas Day, She deployed a net maaaaaade of magic over the mountains and…you know what? Never you mind that…its just history, its what I’m into, its boring.

LETS TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE!

Wigwams, we’ve been friends for a while now right? *Pause for acknowledgement* and, and, and you know my style right? *stares kind of desperately at you* You know that I typically adhere to the WTYKY motto that: SENS RULE. ALL THEM OTHA TEAMS *STINK* Right? If the Sens have a terrible season and don’t make the playoffs and you say something like “Oh well, I guess I’ll go for Montreal now” I will delete you off of Friendster so fast it will make your novelty troll doll collection spin REAL TALK but I must say….
Konfession Korner: You guys, I have a little bit of a soft spot for the Calgary Flames. I admit I got swept up in the Flames Cup Run of 20 ought 4. The lunch pail work ethic, the so many red beards, the Craig Conroy post game interviews! In many ways, they tend to remind me of the post-cup/pre-build Senators. Lost in the weeds in a Sunbelt suffered cup loss paradigm, a loveable do no wrong captain willing to go down with the ship, management caught up in acquiring overpriced FAs to augment a rapidly fading core chasing that mysterious missing piece dragon, few to no future star players coming up in the farm system, Craig Hartsberg on staff, a lights out goaltender desperately attempting to carry the defense corps on his ba—okay, I said in MANY ways not all ways.

Am I alone when you look at the Flames and see how they are – pause for AMAZING joke – flaming out – hold for applause – STILL holding – and feel a bit of sympathy for Kipper, Iggy and their loyal fans? We Sens buddies had to sit through some post 2007 death throws, Alex Kovalev and impending first round playoff doom before the powers that baconate had mercy and held a fire sale for a shot at a brighter future. It doesn’t seem Calgary’s brass is quite there yet. Okay, I’ve said my piece,Calgary pals, I feel your frustration. It stinks when you know your team is stuck rudderless in the Stinksville peninsula. Okay, greaaaaaaat…got that out of the way….PSSST, now follow me over here!

Over here:
My beautiful babies, since the 2011-2012 Flames are basically the 2010-2011 Sens we know that this is a team RIPE for curb stompery. Home? Away? It doesn’t matter. Their spirit is weak. Their players (outside of a mere few) are playing with the fear of a demotion, trade or worst of all, a public de-pantsing by Detective Droopy their coach. We have the inside track of how winnable this game is for our boys also in red, gold, white and some black accents.

Except of Course for One Thing:
So, Mikka Kipprusoff has a tendency to turn the Senators hopes and dreams into a bunch of miniature turtles that he stomps with a miniature turtle stomping machine. You know? Yes, me too. The guy’s good at goaltending. It would appear that after beating the maple loaves on Saturday that the Sens remembered how to score again but they’ll probably have to turn it up a notch as Mikka aint no leafs starter du jour. Am I right,  AndrewRaycroftVesaToskalaJSGuigereJonasTheMonsterGustavssonJamesReimerBenScrivens? Those guys know what I’m talking about. Not a goalie graveyard at all.

Heyyyyyyy Guess Who Has to Land On The Score Sheet:
Bump bad da daaaaa: Jason Spezza! I have a feeling, win or lose, if Spezz can pot one it will ease the tension on the first line for this coming road trip and possibly even open things up for the 6 points in 6 games hot Nicholai Foligno! Also of note: Spezza will need minimum 3 points to catch up to Nicklas Backstrom for the scoring race I made up between them! Speaking of overtaking scoring leads Milan Michalek, please score 2 to 3 goals tonight and unseat that Garbage Pail Kid. Also, does Alex Ovechkin still play hockey? Is he waiting forCrosby to return to make it a fair fight or has he entered a Michael Jordan semi-pro baseball hiatus?

 HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Can You Score An MFing Goal Already?
Bobby Butler. Wha happened? Get well soon Bobby Butler’s ability to score goals. Uhh, ANYWAY, after a hot start you’d have to think Colin Greening had better post up one or two on this 37 game road trip if he wants to stick around on that first line lest Papa Alfie has to come in AND GROUND ALL OF YOU. Here’s to hoping Stephane DaCosta can make the most of his time in the top six and fight off what are becoming pretty scary rumors of trades for Derek Brassard (like Nikita Filatov BUT with 2.5 years at over 3M AND injury problems!) or gelp Matt Stajan…ugh…Bryan Murray used to watch Toronto Ottawa games a few years ago and is aware that Matt Stajan sucks right? This is a rebuild baby fellas, you dont trade for other team’s runoff 2 months in just because Regin is hurt.

With Nealer out tonight, the Sens will need to bring the ‘in your big stupid face’ grit to the Flames. Even though in a cruddy place the Flames aint gunna roll over, as the Tao states, Still good to the East is the team that stinks in the West. Get all up in these dudes respective AND collective worlds and for the love of Pete shoot the puck lots. Oh, also, may our defense reliant offense continue to roll! Enjoy the game!

#votealfie
#votejamesforalabamaagriculturecommissioner