So the other day I’m surfing on Twitter. Sorry “surfing” is slang that means I was standing in Twitter. Suddenly a thing lit up. It was a question from loyal reader/comment poster/twitter follower-interacter/fellow blog haver @Rory_mg. He said, “@wtyky” and I said, “Yes, @rory_mg?” He said, “What’s the weirdest search term that has been used to bring ppl to your blog? Apparently I’m the go to for “shea weber shirtless”
Thanks for your question and follow up statement, Ror’. Now, as none of you know, we here at WTYKY track many strange search items on our Big Brotheresque surveillance system. Items that bring us tiny crystal marshmallows of joy and traffic. We even started a periodical column called “Hey, What Are We Searching For?” that I would appreciate you pretending you read. So many memories. Sharing both the laughter and love.
Before Rory (I’m assuming his real name is Rory)’s question came along, I had never considered these search items in terms of an overall Champion of Weirdness. I figured since there is NOT EVEN SO MUCH AS GODDAMN TRAINING CAMP TO WRITE ABOUT I would go through a bunch. OH NO NO NO WAIT WAIT You don’t have to go through all them yet! I still have some stuff to tell you! As you’ll seeeee EYES UP! As you will see, the crop was too bountiful for me to choose a favorite. I leave it to you, dear reader, with a list of the top #41 with a snide comment from yours truly in brackets for good measure. Vote for your favorite one in the poll or in the comment section. Our team of crack researchers (the name comes from what we pay them in!) will tally the results and our very own Steven will create an image representing the winner*!
*With the exception of #12 you can go anywhere to see that. Page me if you want some EXCLUSIVE recommendations. I will be counting any votes for 12 as Sergio Gonchar because that is my pick as it is what I want most to see Steve do something with.
In no particular order the nominees are…
1. brodeur crayon picture (Looks surprisingly like a blonde TJ’s Big Boy)
2. jail_infinity room (Home sweet home)
3. yoda cop (Look forward to more amazing fan fiction like this in the event of a lockout!)
4. erik karlsson ottawa bod (I don’t know if we’ve made any posts specifically about that (yet) but…I would imagine dude has a pretty killer bod, THANKS FOR READING!)
5. jail_infinity code (#45349596546897569823452908240598420569248503495680569803968063458036752689357015-9048526858976905867)
6. sammy hagar a jerk (Don’t take my word for it! Read all about it in his new tell all autobiography, “Red” or according to Wikipedia, his cameo as a bartender in an episode of Nash Bridges)
7. piss off we’re full (we’re not full btw, in fact, Welcome to our internet kingdom! …follow us on twitter/everything/seriously there’s a lockout looming please help us)
8. sergio gonchar (La più bella uomo difesa italiana a cinghia mai su un paio di pattini da ghiaccio! Saluti Sergio!)
9. mike fisher t-shirt chopped into pieces (okay my little Senscrafters, now let’s get out our glue stick and begin distributing the shirt pieces evenly over the Spartacat hair …good. That’s good. Now lets apply some of our Alex Auld mask sparkles!)
10. logos fish (Ugh! ANOTHER Logo’s Land redirect)
11. bdsm penalty bench (Wow, the internet is not doing a very good job of helping people find what they are looking for)
12. fucking couple (No, really, the internet is not doing a very good job of helping people find what they are looking for…I can think of maybe a billion better sites to find that on than ours. You’re fired Askjeeves! )
13. pissed off toddlers (Funny, we haven’t written about the labor negotiations very much so far)
14. in dads pool (that’s where you’ll fiiiiiiiiiiind meeee…peeing…and…blogging)
15. head shots of Christ (We’re like the Judeo-Christian IMDB)
16. bill simmons idea (Our office is actually just like a sports writer version of Being John Malkovich but with hockey writers…or are we like Herman’s Head? Either way, Yardley Smith is here. REFERENCES!)
17. lame palm (We are SO over those leaves and we are not about to stop writing about how whack they are. Oh and you’re next ASPEN LEAVES)
18. english homework covers (I think we can agree English Homework is one of the greatest bands of all time but we do not endorse any covers or remixes of their songs. Just leave those classics be!)
19. make me feel pretty (Done and done. YOURE WELCOME READERS)
20..shittiness travelled back in time (Someone must have been searching for one of our old posts)
21. pissed off boy + table ( = us blogging, right?)
22. “colin mcgowan” and “desire” (I don’t even know what that is. I have to admit I suddenly find myself jealous of Colin McGowan)
23. sphere watch (The conclusion of Michael Crichton’s classic left a LOT of questions unanswered… join the conversation on twitter by searching #spherewatch today!)
24. chris campoli blog (Okay, if this existed it would be one of the best things on the internet….I would be willing to settle for a Campoli twitter parody someone get on this)
25. uhh ahh game (Uhh…AHH…AHH…AHH UHH …Ahh. I win again. Don’t mess with the master.)
26. highlights of Canada (You guys, we’ve been shortlisted!!!)
27. real unicorn still alive (but…for how long?)
28. jarkko ruutu flute (from the makers of Mike Comrie Oboe and Wade Redden Bouzouki)
29. teemu selanne yacht (From our classic coverage, “Aint No Party Like a Teemu in International Waters Party!” I still have a couple scars from that weekend. Worth it.)
30. foods that rhyme (4 hits based on this! What can I say people flock to us for ideas on how to complete that poem about nutritious snacks)
31. new age fantasy (basically your poem about nutritious snacks but accompanied by Jarkko Ruutu flute and taking place on Teemu Selanne’s yacht in the fourth dimension)
32. ngwafusi (Look, I have a tendency to mash the keyboard with my hands…but after a bit of research it’s someone’s last name. I ask you this: Which of these two things brought us this traffic?)
33. these are your karlson years sens blog (this one is not all that odd but it is a very, very popular searh item. Are you trying to tell us that we should have called this blog “These Are Your Karlsson Years”?_
34. advantages of hard work (how in god’s name did this get associated with us?)
35. sleeping (now thaaaaaaaaat’s more like it)
36. fantasy place (now thaaaaaaaaaat’s even more like it…unless that’s supposed to mean fantasy as in “fantasy sports pool” … Ask Varada about that kind of shit)
37. bogglins (Question: Do we really reference Bogglins that much? Follow up question: Would anyone subscribe to a podcast about Bogglins if we started one?)
38. phantasy acid bilder (10 minute organ solo followed by 15 minute bass solo followed by you waking up in a hospital)
39. young pierre mcguire photos (WTYKY…your source…for….why are you looking for that and why did you think that we have that?)
40. alkoholizam (I kann kwit anythyme I whant)
and finally I’ll just leave this one alone to echo through the corridors of centuries…
41. oops embarrassed fart
Rory is a name only meant for true athletes, (see Rory McIlroy, Rory MacDonald. Before you ask no I’m not the UFC fighter Rory MacDonald regardless of having the same name. See how easy that was to make you believe that I wasn’t him? Classic).
I used to jump a pretty high jump back in my days of Grade 6. ANYWAYS.
I’ll go with #39 – young pierre mcgure photos. Which leads me to another brilliant idea for a blog post.
How many YouTube clips of Pierre McGuire can you find that has him interacting with players? Clearly the underlying theme of these videos is awkwardness. Byfuglien. Dustin Byfuglien.
Happy NHL13 Boxing Day everyone!
NOT ENOUGH STARTS TO LAVISH ON THIS ****
Clearly you’re not doing enough to tap the latent New Age hockey erotica market. Bring it up with your PR jocks.
Omg! MacChang where have YOU been? Finally, someone speakin our Changuage around here!
#28. Hands down.
Hands Down! “It’s Fast-Action Slap-Happy Fun!”
There is clearly only one right answer here. And it’s “shittiness travelled back in time.” Mostly because it sounds like the best first line of a novel I’ve ever read.
That’s me, Varada, writing that comment. I don’t log in on my own blog anymore.
And the winner by a nose is “Young Pierre McGuire Photos” stay tuned for Steve’s brilliant interpretation. Thanks to everyone for participating!
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