Ugh. Welcome to Earf INDEED, friends. Today we are ALL that alien. RIP that Alien. Got punched. Got punched right in his head. Then he died. On Cristmapendence Day no less.

Heyyyyy did anyone see the game on Saturday afternoon? Yeah, I was there because as Eugene Gandhi once said, “Be the attendance you want to see in this Canadian Tire Centre.” Anyway, except for the end of the game part I had a great time! Just to keep with the Bill Smith theme here, it seemed to me like the Sens all must have had the part of their mind that was used to remember that you can play hockey in the opposing team’s zone erased during the Second Intermission.

Here comes the men in blown power play opportunities *clap clap!* Constantly defending.
MOVIES and Their Official Soundtracks, am I right?!
Whatever. What was I on about? Oh yeah Welcome 2 Earf (12th place). You know what’s not at all funny about this whole thing where Ottawa can’t win these afternoon home games? THERE’S ANOTHER TEAM THAT’S ALSO PLAYING THE GAME EXCEPT THEY’RE ON A FR*GGING ROADTRIP WHO KEEP BEATING THEM. Afternoon, Shmafternoon™ the Coyotes were the ones who were supposed to be at a disadvantage. The Coyotes were the ones 3 time zones away from where they live, the one’s travelling hours to every game, not sleeping in their own beds and playing their 3rd game in 5 days. You have to win home games no matter what spice they are. There was a point where Ottawa was up 3-2 and the Coyotes’ Mike Ribeiro (who I haaaaaaaaaaaaate) took a penalty barely two minutes later. I bring this up because it got me thinking. If the roles were reversed and Ottawa was down one and took a penalty right after the go ahead goal was scored by the other team (who was playing on home ice) would I be alone in thinking “This is where they bury us.”? This is exactly where the #AccommodatingSens come out to take over the game. What’s that Phoenix? Losing the game and just took 3 penalties in a row? We wouldn’t DREAM of taking a 2 goal lead. LET’S MAKE THIS INTERESTING SHALL WE? Result? CLASSIC Antione Vermette hat trick.
Call it lack of killer instinct I don’t know but again, in a league where games are won and lost on special teams opportunities you can’t blow chances like that and expect to be anything above 9th place. Scoring hasn’t been much of a problem but putting the game away definitely has. Pile a mup tonight guys, c’mon. Is just Marc Andre Fleury! What’s that? He’s decided to stop being absolutely terrible and is one of the best goalies in the league now? Ugh, this SPORT.
The only thing I’m going to say about the Penguins is that they have won all but one, I REPEAT ONE, of their games THIS MONTH…Why? because I hate them so much. So much. Look at it this way, at least they only have the *looks at other tab* ..the best power play in the league…uhh but that’s misleading because …since acquiring Jacques Martin on their coaching staff they’ve also become one of the best defensive teams in the league so…let’s move on!

Well at least the lines make sense going into the game. 
Michalek – Spezza – Ziba
MacArthur – Turris – Ryan
Greening – Smith – Neil
Conacher – Pageau – Condra

There’s a lot to like here!
– Zibanejad is playing again
– Top six is consists entirely of top six players. Say what you will (OR DONT!) about Michalek this year, a bottom six guy he ain’t.
– Pageau (who’s great) is centering good players.
– Kassian getting his ice time cut by 4 minutes and 15 seconds. Seriously, you can tell whenever he’s on the ice in a bad way.
– 16-7-6 line reunited and it feels so goddamn good great.
It’s a Christmas Eve-Eve miracle on ice!

It’s really a shame about the loss to Phoenix as I thought a lot of defenders played quite well. Erik Karlsson is good at playing hockey AND IT SHOWS. Offensive output is welcome but Methot was simply very good overall and even one Jerry Cowen was looking like he’s getting his shit straightened out. It’s no secret that the Defense has been the team’s Achilles (too soon?) heel this year. To see them performing better, even in a loss, was encouraging. Unfortunately they’ll have to be a even mo’ better tonight. Ceci remains in and Corvo and Wiercioch will not dress…in their hockey equipment.

Get well Robin Lehner get well soon we want you to get welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Apartmently Robbie Lehner has come down with a case of the flu. Remember I warned against a Flu-sing streak (really sorry) if a bug was going around the room?  Maybe this could have a bit of a positive effect on Craig Anderson. You can do it, me…think of a bright side to back what you just said up… GOT IT: Win or lose (according to 9-9-4 record mostly lose!) Andy will get a couple of starts in a row. He wont have The Lehner looming over him and maybe that will be good for him. Neither netminder has really definitively taken the reins as starter this season. A losing record will do that I guess. Regardless, the back and forth has to be a bit jarring for a creature of habit like Andy. After all this is the goalie who just a couple of seasons ago got 63 starts. Maybe he can get into a bit of a groove. A groove that can last from period 1 to period 3 even! You’re the guy right now Craigy. He was holding it down for the most part against the Coyotes. I mean it’s not really his fault that the rest of the team blew 4 straight power plays and couldn’t give him a little bit of a margin of error to work with. Also not his fault: letting Phoenix enjoy playing most of the 3rd period in Ottawa’s zone. He’ll have to be on his Grizzly tonight as the Penguins boast some DECENT forwards in their line up.

Well, that’s it for these things until Friday when Ottawa starts a barf to barf against the Barfston Barfins. What’s the holiday season without a little carol? You may have caught this delightful number the Sens released today lead by Jason Spezza’s BEAUTIFUL singing voice. In that lovely spirit I’ve decided to share a little something of my own! (The music goes however you imagineeeeeeeeeer it to)

1 and a 2 and a 1, 2, 3, 4…

OHHHHH Santa Saint Christmas, Ottawa Senators stuff 
Don’t rip my heart out of my chest and stomp on it a bunch of times
Believe me when I tell you, I’m being good (?) mostly every day
For Sennukah all I want is for Ottawa to defeat some teams. 
DEFEAT THE OTHER TEAAAAAAAAAAAAMS 
IN THE SPIRIT OF THESE HOLIDAYS FROM WORRRRRK
but with religious stuff going on as well (of course, no disrispeeek). 
And if you cant bother to beat those other teams 
Then actually please do that thing where you rip out my heart 
so I can be dead in time for Christmaaaaaaaaa(s)
*3 minute long synthesizer solo*
OHHH Annual Gift Man, from your pyramid on the Moon, 
I’m pretty sure I enjoy watching hockey as a pastime
It’s been an emotional journey that no one wants to end 
with getting punched in their bathing suit area by 
None other than stupid Sidney CROSBYYYYYY sooooooooooo
THANKS FOR A SENATORS WIN SAINT SANTAAAAA 
ON. *CLAP!* 
THEEEE. *CLAP*
CHRISTMAS CHILD’S BIRTHDAY EVE – 
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE  

Thank you for reading, enjoy the game and sorry about everything!

Cmon James think back to your training….what did they say over and over again? Oh yeah, always leave on a strong note: