I would say the most common question people ask me – or the most common after “Chet, does this look like eczema?” – is about which Ottawa Senators jersey they should buy. And I get it, it’s a big purchase. You don’t want to drop a week’s salary at the cannery on a shirt with a guy’s name on it only to have that guy be traded to Columbus a week later, or worse, continue being Alex Kovalev. At the same time, the player you choose sends a message to your fellow fans – are you looking for a superstar whose jersey you can pop every time he scores a goal? Do you want to demonstrate your extensive knowledge of the team with an off-the-radar choice? Was there something about Zenon Konopka that resonated deeply with you?

These are all important questions, but you can only answer the same question so many times before you become frustrated and get thrown out of a baptism, as I was last week. So I thought the best way to help you make the right choice would be to diagram the appropriate decision-making process in a flowchart. This is that flowchart.

(click to enlarge)