Jaden Spezza chats with his new line mate Jared Cowen. Thanks for reading.

You know, it’s an IMPORTANT night. Of course all sportz nights are important ones but this one especially so. As if a game against the mediocre Dallas $tars couldn’t get more exciting, Ales Hemsky is back in town!
I kid, I kid, y’all know I’m a rascal. No one cares about him. No, the big noise is that tonight is the night when two become one marks the return of Jason Spezza to the Tires.com Arena.
Always a polarizing figure during his 11 seasons in the Capital, there has been a lot of interesting discussion leading up to the game over the decision of whether to boo or cheer Spezza. I’ve decided this is what I will be chanting tonight: CAN I HAZ WIN?
Honestly, true fans of -Norwegian Black Metal- the Sens know the cheer or boo Spezza debate has been raging since I DON’T KNOW the day he started playing here over a decade ago. But hey, Ima let our fanbase’s tradition of self-consciousness cook.

Story behind the story behind the riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in “In Flames” themed padding:
K, the real story for me tonight is how goalie of the future, Robin Aloysius Lehner performs.
Shorty has been tore DOWN for a minute. It is clear that Dave Cameron who is getting his first crack at NHL coaching, is not on team tank. Part of his controversial strategy of “trying to keep his job” is to win as many games as possible and not start Lehner, who of late has been, as the British say, “Shit, mate”.

Harsh? We’ll in his last 5 games his best performance has been an overtime loss TO THE BUFFALO SABRES where he surrendered 4 goals in 33 shots and posted an .879 save percentage.
Hi, my name’s James and I’d like to, again, point out that THAT WAS HIS BEST PERFORMANCE IN HIS LAST 5 GAMES.  

His worst of those last 5 you ask? Computer says that would be giving up 5 goals on 29 shots(!) good for an .838 save percentage…including a 4 goal 2nd period meltdown in a regulation loss against who? Oh, NBD, just against THESE SAME MEDIOCRE ASS DALLAS STARS.

 YOU GUYS I’M STARTING TO WORRY ABOUT ROBIN LEHNER.

Update: Oh GOOD Lehner’s starting because Craig Anderson’s hurt. Andrew Hammond has been recalled from Binghamton. *Looks at his AHL stat line for this year* 

As per me: 

Holy shit Hammond has been AWWWWWFUL in Binghamton. Homie has 7 wins in 25 starts this year and sports an only acceptable in the QMJHL goals against average of 3.51. fuh-kinnnng YIKES.

For a team that basically needs goaltenders to steal games for them on a near nightly basis I can only send this up toward Craig Anderson’s hospital room in heaven:

What else? HAHAHAHA…Who cares!

Life comes at one fast: David Legwand led the Detroit Red Wings in points less than a calendar year ago. He is a healthy scratch tonight…playing for the Sens…At least he has a career ahead of him playing henchmen/street toughs on various iterations of the CSI shows for the foreseeable future. Lookin’ more and more like a walking police sketch every day, Dave!

Alex Chiasson who was looking like the odd man out until recently gets a crack at his old club [again] tonight. G has to get on the board. I mean, after having had to endure an Ales Hemsky goal the last time these teams met, it’s the least he can do. C’mon accomodating Stars, do the kid a solid, we can’t bear all the weight of getting opposing players off the schneid(?). Chiasson’s line with Hoffman and Pageau looks pretty cool actually.
“Pageau dishes to Hoffman, Hoffman SHOOTS, Chiasson tries to get in the way but not TOO much in the way, [Ed. note: probably] SCORES!” – Hockey

HEY! Speaking of getting off the schneid (why do i keep using this phrase?) common law linemates Kyle Turris and Clarke MacArthur are “on a break” after nearly two years of happiness together. A lot’s been made of it but I think it’s the right move. They’re two of my favorite players and I haven’t even been mad at how they’ve been playing but they’ve been undeniably cold of late. If it doesn’t work, put them back together, they certainly haven’t been hurting the team. I’m not mad at this top 6 combo slated to start the game:

Michalek – Turris – Stone
MacArthur – Zibanejad – Ryan

Michalek has been pretty great lately as has Stone. Really, so have Zibanejad and especially Ryan who’s really becoming a force on this team…so…We’ll see how it goes.

Corporate slogan idea: Your Ottawa Senators: We’ll See How It Goes 

Defensive pairings look to shape up like this:
Methot – Karlsson
Who gives a damn – Ceci 
Who gives a damn – Who gives a damn 

Extra: Patrick Wiercioch has a thing with sleeping with coaches wives [Legal: ALLEGEDLY]. Mark Borowiecki is now available on Netflix.

Puck drop is at 7:30pm, cheering Spezza is scheduled for the first period and booing him will follow in the 2nd and 3rd or as soon as he scores a fucking goal.  Coverage is available on HAM radio or by Fax Machine.

Enjoy the game! OR WHATEVER, it’s your business!