Jared Cowen and I have had some fun over the years. Let’s take a look back.

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Cowen with the Alexander Ovechkin Memorial Coast Back to the Defensive Zone on that play.

— Luke Peristy (@LukePeristy) October 27, 2013

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“And now a footrace between Cowen and Heatley!”
*Minutes pass*
*Period ends*

— Luke Peristy (@LukePeristy) November 21, 2013

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After the game, Craig Anderson tried to throw Jared Cowen under the bus, but it got around him and continued unabated on its way to the net.

— Luke Peristy (@LukePeristy) February 8, 2014

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Early Friday morning, Paul Maclean is awakened by his wife.
“Paul! It’s seven!”
“Was it Cowen’s fault, again?”, he asks.

— Luke Peristy (@LukePeristy) February 28, 2014

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Jared Cowen’s breakouts will get better after he’s done that full body tattoo of the plans to the offensive zone.

— Luke Peristy (@LukePeristy) March 29, 2014

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Hearing reports that Jared Cowen is out with a strained relationship with #Sens fans.

— Luke Peristy (@LukePeristy) April 8, 2014

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sex is a lot like being erik karlsson. you go really fast, you take some risks, jared cowen is there

— Luke Peristy (@LukePeristy) October 25, 2014

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Watching Jared Cowen is like watching Lost: everything is weird and you have no idea how things can possibly go for another 3 seasons.

— Luke Peristy (@LukePeristy) January 30, 2015

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What idiot called them Jared Cowen turnovers and not “big body presents”?

— Luke Peristy (@LukePeristy) March 14, 2015

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COWEN YOU UNMITIGATED BAG OF FAIL

— Luke Peristy (@LukePeristy) October 23, 2015

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june 2016

MELNYK: i bought u hoffman
ME: this is amazing, but where did you find the money?

*jared cowen is being loaded into a trailer*

— Luke Peristy (@LukePeristy) October 23, 2015

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I’m becoming increasingly convinced that Skynet will become self-aware before Jared Cowen ever does.

— Luke Peristy (@LukePeristy) November 19, 2015

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I mean, you could try firing Jared Cowen into the sun, but he’d probably end up ineffectually following just behind it.

— Luke Peristy (@LukePeristy) December 7, 2015

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I wouldn’t trust Jared Cowen to defend Australia in a game of Risk.

— Luke Peristy (@LukePeristy) December 15, 2015

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I don’t go to the gym much, but if Dave Cameron wants to bench Cowen, I will spot him.

— Luke Peristy (@LukePeristy) December 17, 2015

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Sometimes I think Jared Cowen’s most effective break-out option is to just stand there and wait for continental drift to move the puck.

— Luke Peristy (@LukePeristy) December 27, 2015

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*sings “jared cowen” to the tune of ride of the valkyries* pic.twitter.com/FekVaC0Rqp

— Luke Peristy (@LukePeristy) December 30, 2015

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Jared Cowen is about as useful as power windows on the International Space Station

— Luke Peristy (@LukePeristy) December 30, 2015

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Goodbye, Gentle Giant.