The Watch of Shame: Game 1

I’m just gonna steal images from the official Senators Instagram accounts for these.

As a Sens fan currently residing an ocean away from the hallowed largest parking lot in Eastern Ontario, keeping up with the Sens has been a struggle for the last year. Last season, I watched a few periods of whatever games I could, and they were always terrible because the team sucked, so it didn’t feel like I was missing much by being in bed at the hours of 1 AM to 4 AM. However, since the Senators are *takes out permanent marker and circles this word several times* ALLEGEDLY supposed to be good this year, to quote the philosopher Steven Tyler, I don’t want to miss a thing. To prove my dedication to the cause of Watching The Games, I have dropped the legally mandated 99 euros on an international NHL dot TV subscription so I can Watch The Games the morning after they air. The only problem with this otherwise perfect system is that I don’t have somewhere to write my every stupid thought about the game I’m watching. Twitter would usually function as my Mind Toilet here, but the game is over, everyone else is in bed, and the last thing I want to do is ruin everyone’s morning timeline with a 20-tweet thread of shit like “Wow Kyle Okposo really is the Sabres captain, huh? Is this how people feel when they play us?”. That’s Simmer’s job.

Which is why I’m introducing a new post format I’m calling The Watch of Shame, which is just where I’m gonna write all the stuff I would have tweeted if I’d been watching the game live. It’s like a recap, but without anything resembling structure, insight, or effort. Remember, I’m doing this for me, not you, so if it sucks or you don’t like it, no refunds. Ok, that’s enough. Let’s think some thoughts about last night’s game!

1st Period

  • Ottawa’s 3rd line of Motte-Pinto-Joseph is the most frisky-looking five minutes in. Everyone else just putting in Preseason With Extra Steps shifts.
  • Giroux tried to hit DeBrinky with cross-ice pass during an early powerplay and the Sabres sniffed it out immediately. It’s possible they ran that play too well in the pre-season.
Photo used under fair use of showing people some cool shit for educational purposes.
  • Jake Sando just made a between the legs pass under pressure in his own zone, and guess what, it was the perfect play! 10 minutes into his NHL career and he’s already showing more sauce than Cody Ceci has in his entire life.
  • Tkachuk just scored on a beautiful tee-up from Batherson. I love that people think Tkachuk can’t shoot. Keep giving him all that space, boys!
  • DeBrinky could have easily made it 2-0, but Craig Anderson came way out of the net to rush him and cut down the angle. Gotta give it up to Craig for still getting it done in the Big Show at 41. This guy is still pretty good when he’s on 127 days rest.
  • DeBrinky and Giroux can’t quite connect on a 2-on-1 pass. That’s the second time this period these guys have had a chance denied by a well-timed stick.
  • “Tyler Motte has been as advertised!” says the TSN play-by-play guy whose voice I don’t recognize. How was Tyler Motte advertised? A 3rd-line forward who doesn’t suck ass? Connor Brown without the swag? Anyway, agreed, he’s been as advertised.
  • The Sabres have really been going at Chabot when they’re coming into the zone with the puck this period, and unfortunately it pays off at the very end of the period as they draw a tripping penalty.

2nd Period

  • The best chances of the first minute of this Sabres powerplay have come from Ottawa, but Motte couldn’t score on a breakaway, and Sanderson couldn’t get a shot off on a 2-on-1 after DeBrinky’s pass was broken up AGAIN. *extremely pretending he doesn’t know the final score voice* OH I WONDER IF WE’LL REGRET NOT SCORING ON ALL THESE CHANCES.
  • Shots are 17-11 for the Sens right now, and that does seem right in terms of who has been carrying the play. I do wonder about some of the Sens’ D-zone play, though. Sens go from 0 to 5-alarm fire as soon as the structure breaks down even a little bit. Hopefully that’s something that just gets better as the season goes on.
  • Peterka scores after he and Cozens work the give-and-go against Sanderson on a 3-on-2. First time all game Sanderson’s looked out of place. Also I really need Ridly Greig to become the Brendan Gallagher we all know he can become, because I still kinda wish we’d drafted Peterka with that pick. DEUTSCHE SPIELER ÜBER ALLES.
  • Speaking of Deutsche Spieler, Andy just shut the door on a Stützle breakaway chance. Good for Craig. Again I am extremely Not Mad about this!
  • Man, Holden and Brannstrom just had a R O U G H shift and the puck ended up in the net behind Forsberg. Holden looked bad on the zone entries and Brannstrom looked rough by his own net. Tough to blame Forsberg on either of these goals against
  • At least the PK has been looking good? Don’t love that I’ve had so many two opportunities to watch it this period, though.
I’m thinking maybe this should have ended up in a goal?
  • Ok Sens clearly should have scored on the powerplay here, except Stützle fed it across to Norris at approximately Mach 7 and Norris whiffed on it. Levels of Not Mad increasing!
  • Tkachuk just whiffed on a one-timer in the exact middle of the slot on the 2-man advantage. I’ve never been so Not Mad in my life.
  • Stützle can’t convert on yet another breakaway. IS IT JUST ME OR SHOULD IT BE LIKE 5-1 FOR THE SENS RIGHT NOW?
  • Chabot going off for tripping again at the end of the 2nd. This is something to keep an eye on going forward, because the Sabres simply cannot wait to skate at Chabot and it’s paying off for them.
  • Forsberg has made some good glove saves in this PK. Really been enjoying having a goalie who uses his glove this game.

3rd Period

  • Sens starting this one on the powerplay. No good chances.
  • The boards are showing adds for Blue Moon. Does that mean that Labatt’s legendary trademark on beers with the word “Blue” in the name has finally expired? Not sure if you knew this, but in the rest of the world, Belgian Moon is called “Blue Moon” and the reason for that is because Labatt wouldn’t let any other “Blue” beer get sold. If you’re buying Blue Moon in beer stores now, let me know.
  • Other than the moments he’s looked bad, Brannstrom has actually looked pretty good, which I guess is just AKA “the experience of watching Erik Brannstrom”.
  • Tkachuk is shooting from absolutely everywhere tonight. Wonder if he made a bet with Timmy that he’ll have more goals this season.
  • Ok, when Craig Anderson is even gloving down the pucks that get tipped in front of the net, you know it’s just not your night.
  • Sens kill off their 4th penalty of the game. Can’t say the PK has been a complete vault this game, but 6.5 xG/60 from this game is definitely respectable PK defense.
  • Stützle denied by Anderson for the 3rd time in the game, this time with a wild poke check. Anderson’s got me yelling, “He’s just spinning the ball on his finger!” like Krusty watching the Washington Generals at this point.
  • Hard to believe this is still a one goal game. The Sens have failed to convert so many chances that it feels like they’re down by like 4 goals right now.
  • DeBrincat and Giroux have been pretty quiet this game from the 2nd period on, I gotta say. Giroux was in all alone against Anderson at the end of a shift with 3 minutes left and just fired it into the blocker, as if to prove my point.
  • Chabot giveaway at his own blue line with the net empty puts an exclamation point on a bit of a shaky game from him.
  • Just noticed that Victor Olafsson’s goal song is Gimme, Gimme, Gimme!. Good thing I love that song because I just got to hear it twice in 15 seconds.

The Wisdom

That wasn’t the worst Sens game I’ve ever watched. Nothing but love and respect to Craig Anderson. Let’s try scoring some goddamn goals against the Leafs on Saturday.

Here It Is, Your Moment of Salieri

TFW ur extremely Not Mad.

2 thoughts on “The Watch of Shame: Game 1

  1. Wow this is awesome, 81 more of these please. Also blue moon (formerly Rickards Wite) has been sold in Ontario for years and I’m not sure why Rickards Red wasn’t renamed to red moon.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s