Author Archives: worsteverything

James Day Preview: Ottawa Fightin’ Bishops Vs. Tampa Bay Flyin’ Brian Lees

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Bishop jokes, everybody!

Hi everybody. Welcome to this website.

I’m going to start this off with a question. I’m reading this book called Blogging Poorly For Dummies and its says to “Do stuff like that”…wait does that title mean that I’M the dummy that the book is for or that I’m blogging FOR dummies? I guess I’ll just file that under “Mysteries of the Unknown.” Okay, well, I think that just about covers this delightful blog entry, thanks for stopping by…WAIT WHAAAAT?!?! THERE’S A GAME TONIGHT?!?! This book doesn’t say anything about that…LOOKS LIKE IIIIIIIII’M THE DUMMIE(EEE). Oh, Fake ‘For Dummies’ Book I Made Up, you really know how to cut me to the core.

Question: Hey, y’all, is the Senators place in the standings starting to look at little precarious?

I don’t want to be Harvey Blogtrotter and get all panicky on your birthday just because the Sens lost two games in a row, but with the Jets heating up at the right time for them / worst time for Ottawa and trailing the Jets are the Caps the most talented shitty team in the East, I find the Sens 4 point foothold on 7th place a little shaky at the moment. This week is a very important one points-wise for the Senators as they are facing WTYKY Punching Bag Tampa Bay, the very good but beatable NY Rangers, and WTYKY Punching Bag, Buffalo Sabers. Points done need gotted. Exspecially tonight.

Let’s just get to the big story of the game, shall we:
Tonight’s match up marks the first time the Sens will face Brian Lee since his trade to Tampa features Ben Bishop dans le filet pour Ottawa. Bishop who only has a few games in the NHL so far in his young career will have his work cut out for him against the stupidly hot Steven Hairstyle and Martin St. Louis…and…some other dudes.
I am personally going to look at Bishop’s debut with a clean slate. Even though he only has a couple NHL games under his belt, if anyone followed Robin Lehner’s recent string of starts in Ottawa, you can stop all the pucks in G/D world but if the rest of the team only puts a handful of shots up against the Blackhawks in the entire second period, you cant blame the goalie for every loss. I for one welcome Ben Bishop with a clean NHL sheet. Actually, I might be tempted to cherry pick the fact that since coming over from Binghamton, Bishop has stopped a crazy amount of the basically unacceptable number of shots that that team gives up. Then again, the NHL the AHL, it t’aint. Very excited to take in the mind numbing amount of references to Bishops size by Dean Brown and Denis Potvin… I mean, his Ottawa Senators debut tonight. Oy, they are going to talk about how that guy is tall a lot. WTYKY Game File Brought to you in part by Pizza: Ben Bishop is fucking TALL OR WHATEVER….God. Someone gets the start forTampa tonight (BOOK IT).

No but seriously, ladies and gentlemen, something something Brian Lee:
I don’t know about you Eddy, but I was happy to see Brian Lee get a shot at a club that might give him a full time job. It was not Lee’s choice to be picked in the top ten overall but it was definitely his burden to live up to the lofty expectations of a top ten pick to fans and management. Amen to THAT, right Jack Skille?. Lee was likely never going to fully escape the dark cloud over his head in Ottawa but commendably he was a good solider working hard to bulk up change his game to suit the needs of the Sens and did not act like the baby many others would have after being benched for dozens and dozens of games at a time. Now hopefully he’ll find a nice niche in an organization rife with underachievement inTampa.Ottawa’s acquisition in the Lee trade, Matt Gilroy, looks to avenge his tan’s death in his return toTampa.

Game Crud:
Kidding momentarily aside, Lee, like Tampa, has been hot lately with two points in his last two and the team winners of their last four straight. That’s good for an 8 point jump in the East resting them one point behind the Capitals (who btw stink this year). Not too shabby. HEYYYYYYYY speaking of points, you know who hasn’t been putting those up? Most of the Sens lately!  Rare (though brief) cold snaps from Spezza, Karlsson and Alfie have been big contributing factors in the past two losses but they cant do everything. Which is exactly what they were looking like they were trying to do on the slush against the Panthers…which was just a terrible, terrible game to watch.

Hot Christmas, does anyone want to see Kyle Turris score an MFing goal up in here? I love the kid’s spirit. He works very hard with noticeable second and sometimes third efforts to create opportunities, has been using his  dynamite shot and CANT PUT THE PUCK IN THE NET LATELY. This isn’t so much calling him out as sayin’ Oh, Saint Swithun patron saint of missing high and wide, if you’re OBVIOUSLY reading this, give this kid a little puck luck.  Speaking of deserving some recognition, I was very impressed by the debut of Rob Klinkhammer. He was all over the slush in against Florida hitting people left and right, getting a couple of shots nearly tipping in Jared Seinfeld’s goal and finished the game with a +1 in a losing effort. The Sens will need a complete effort tonight to get back on track. And THAT last sentence is why WTYKY was not invited to that Blogger thing at Scotiabank place! Well…that and all the swears.

Did Anyone Think We’d Be Having Legit Discussion About Awards Back In October?

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Photo Courtesy of Hopes & Dreams

Pete Mused: 

Okay, so there is a ton of buzz right now about Karlsson’s worthiness or unworthiness for the Norris trophy. Basically there’s two sides of this debate, the ravenous, passionate fan-based perspective and the stern serious, established hockey journalist perspective. Seems like there’s no middle ground with this one. Not sure why it’s so devisive? I think it’s because he’s just so young and cute and God don’t you just want to cradle him sometimes? Wait are we still talking about Varada’s new kitten?

Here’s my take. Karlsson absolutely deserves this award and the only reason the media won’t give it to him is the complete absence of an objective stat that adquately convey’s his contribution. Seriously, people claim he’s only a power play specialist but Filip Kuba has more power play goals while Campbell and Suter are close in PP points. He’s a defensive liability yet he leads the league in takeaways. He isn’t responsible in his own end yet he leads a resurgent team in ice time. Don’t blame him if the talking heads don’t have an all encompassing stat to crystallize the concept of defensive hockey. It’s not his adorable little fault you big jerks!

Also Jason Spezza’s tires are getting pumped for a Hart nom, plausible?


James chanced to Imagineer:

I like my Erik Karlsson Norris discussion like I like my mainstream Ottawa Senators coverage. Largely dismissed and underdog as shit.
As a fan, I like all eyez on other teams. SO FAR SO GOOD BTW!

BREAKING: Brian Burke just realized he forgot to TiVO Pawn Stars last night. Updates to follow!

Anyway, as I was saying, it’s all good, keep the attention on our rivals diarrheaing all over themselves. Up until recently, a lot of the coverage outside of the Sensphere of Ottawa’s surprising season has been more about streaks, holes in the lineup, how they will cool down eventually, more than how they are just #winning (too soon?) but that’s fine. I am happy being a fan of a team that a lot of people gloss over that has snuck itself into 5th in the East (with a lot of games in hand but still).
The same sentiment goes for all the fronting on Erik Karlsson’s season. Though I will admit I was very surprised to read in a recent Greg Wyshynski article that EK was actually the favorite to win the Norris in a USA Today hockey writers poll. That said, I’ve been reading  a number of pieces about why Our Special Little Guy should NOT be considered for the Norris trophy (including 90% of said Wyshynski article). The reasons people are giving are by no means crazy and to tell you the truth, I’m fine with all of it. It is very win-win, he loses the Sens save a little bit of money on his pending contract if he wins the Sens have a a 21 year old that just won the frigging Norris on their team! What did that rap man Noteworthy B.F.G. say in his song, “Big Monies, No Problems”? If you ask me my personal thoughts on whether he has earned his way into a nomination, I say without question he has. Here are my admittedly biased reasons why:

On pace for over a point per game
Playing 25+ mins per game (team leading)
With a +15 rating (2nd highest on team)
Over 20 points ahead of next highest scoring defenseman.
In top ten in ALL NHL scoring (only D man in the top 73 btw)
21 years of age (biggest reason, for me)
Plays for Ottawa Senators. (second biggest reason)

Like YES I GET IT, ERIK KARLSSON IS NOT NIKLAS “ALL THINGS TO ALL MEN AND MAYBE TO ONE LUCKY GAL” LIDSTROM…but I tip the scale in EK’s favor a little bit because of his age, the team he plays for compared to the others in the discussion – I love me my Senators but EK does not have the Ovechkin, Semin and Backstrom guys to feed passes to like Green did, not to mention his ever growing plus rating, the massive point differential he holds and just his general all around improvement over last year’s -30 performance.
Will these points (no pun intended) win him the trophy? Mmmm probably not, I could see it going to Lidstrom, the Meryl Streep of Norris trophy winning and like Streep, deservedly so. But like the impressiveness of Lidstrom’s age, it’s Karlsson’s 21 years that really blows my mind. On pace for over 80 points in only his second FULL NHL season. Wow. Does he kill penalties as much as Shea Weber? No, but does Shea Weber have 51 assists? Different defensemen…different dietary needs! Anyway, it’s a special season he’s having. I’m too in awe of it and I watch almost every single game he plays (especially if that delightful Denis Potvin is involved!). I’m too close to him to make a proper call…so….?…Celebrate the moments of our lives?

As for Spezza for Hart talk…Jeez, this is a new one…I haven’t given much thought to this. From my perspective, the touchstone moment was during what shall be known as The Season Of Turds (2010-2011) when Spezza went down with an injury and missed the entire month of February. Ottawa won just one motherfucking game with Spezza out of the line up.  He returned a man possessed. He started tearing it UP and hasn’t really slowed down since. It’s become more clear this year that as Spezza goes, so the team goes. When he doesn’t put up points the team basically doesn’t win. Good thing he scores all the frigging time. Now, that’s a valuable player. It’s a question of how that value stacks up league wide.
Haters, who allegedly gon’ hate, said that Spezza would flounder without his former wingman Heatley but losing Dirtbag Dany could prove to be the best thing to happen to Spezza as a player. He has worked hard to round out his game and has become heir apparent to the Sens captaincy when Daniel Alfredsson retires in 2024.
Now, back to the whole, Spezza: good, Hart: ? thing. Well, if there was a Hart trophy for each teaaaam…yeah he’s a lock. There aint one of those, save for Your Draglam Salt: Ottawa’s Best And Saltiest Salt Hardest Working Sen Award, so when the discussion gets league wide it’s pretty tricky. With Gino Malkin’s Mario Lemieux-like rushes and leading the Pens in this non-Crosby paradigm, I think he is the current favorite. There is also a ton of hype around Claude Giroulx. Hype that extends down to the United States, which is both important when it comes to voting and something Spezza doesn’t get to enjoy. Finally, there is the question of whether the voters will be hypnotized by the gaudy number of goals Steven Stamkos of the Lightening, who stiiiiiink, is bound to put up (currently projected at over 60, YIKES!). Actually, now that I think on it, if he can continue his strong play into April Spezza’s for sure in the discussion. Can any of you beauty readers think of some other players who could be considered ahead of Spezza or should we just break into the hockey hall of fame now, steal the trophy, burn “WTYKY LUVZ U” into his lawn, leave the trophy on his front step, ring the doorbell and then hide in the bushes until the police arrive?

Hey, what are we searching for today internet?

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🙂

WTYKY: Your Source For All Types of Ill Shit.

Part of an ongoing series (that is very difficult to NOT make a post about every single day) where we periodically take a glance at some Google searches that have landed you lovers on Timeship Welcome To Your Karlsson Years.
Note to the person who made this search: Let me just page my man Ray-Ray and I’ll right back to you, bro!

James Day Preview: Ottawa Capital Gains (get it?) vs. Washington Kapital Pains (GET. IT.)

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A very, very wise woman once described Ovi to me as "Handsome Shrek"

Hey there, Hi there, Ho there! Still reading? Great. Welcome to this blog post. I’m your host, me.
There’s a whole world of pastabilities brewing up going into tonight’s match, let’s why not chat about them. One team looks to carry on their surprising run and gain a better foothold on the top 8 in the East while the other tries curtail their surprising run of being what might be the most underachieving team in the NHL. Try to guess which is which!
Now, don’t get me wrong here, 10th in the East (with games in hand I might add) is not a terrible place to be a little past the halfway point, IF YOURE NOT THE WASHINGTON CAPITALS. This is hockey, a lot can happen in the next couple months but God, you guys. It was not long ago when George McFee was being heralded as the supreme kommander of offseason signings turning his powerhouse team into a serious, serious contender. I know I can rag a lot on Washington this season but as a fan of a team that saw some perennial contender, scoring dynamo years I can’t help but think to myself, “Hey Caps, you might want to make it a little deeper in the G/D playoffs right quick as that mighty lineup you have there, t’aint gunna last forever.”
Especially with sluggabeds like future KHL Superstar Alex Semin in the lineup -Heyyy, ever hear the one about the guy who makes almost 7MM on a stacked team and has 3 more points than Nick Foligno? No? It’s a really good great one. Okay, a thing I like to do sometimes when I think about other teams (technical term is Imagineering but I’m not going to hold you over the coals for it…THIS time) is I take their entire roster and put them in Sens uniforms and say, “Hey, how are we feeling about your Fake Ottawa Senators?” Hot holy Moses Malone, I think this is the lineup vs performance I’d be most frustrated with. Anaheim a close second for those keeping score (score = Voodoo dolls of me with many, many pins in its face) at home. You take that line 2010-2011 lineup in Washington and add to it Joel Ward, Roman Hamrlik – call him old all you want but bro has all the experience in the world and is playing about 20 minutes a night. Add to that (and you have you knew this was coming) off season prize Tomas Vokoun and this is what you get? Coach firings, sitting below the Jets WHO I NEED NOT REMIND YOU ARE THE ATLANTA THRASHERS WITH A DIFFERENT NAME in the standings, and blowouts at the hands of teams like the Hurricanes? As a fan I would be…I would be…making angry blog posts and tweets! That oughta right the ship!
Anyway, I know the Caps have dealt with some injuries this season but if you consider just one season ago, their best comparable was Pittsbarf the injury thing only kind of shines more of a light on the season they are having.

So, now that I’ve talked a serious gang of shit, let’s move on to our beloved Senators. The Sens have really found their legs again after quite the slide. Seems like that was a long time ago now eh? It wasn’t but with three straight decisive wins, onward and upward. Aside from that drubbing that they handed to Florida, I have a feeling that tonight’s matchup against the Capitals will be their biggest challenge in a while. They are facing an opponent with a ton of excellent players who just suffered a public depantsing and there is a good chance they could come out of the gate guns a blazing. Expect a heap of shots in the first period. That said, the Sens ain’t exactly a bunch of lay about Skylars of late.
Let’s get right to him, Erik Karlsson was in full beast mode on Long Island only fanning the flames of hype surrounding him. 5 points in his last 2 games yo. FIVE. What I loved about Karlsson’s game against the Islanders was that he wasn’t necessarily trying to do the fanciest thing on earth but was rather throwing the kitchen sink at the opposition (a thin, thin line to tread but can take a team out early if done properly by the right player). This style of play can characterize Jason Spezza at his best. It says I can burn you in many different ways and I think I will. Speaking of Jason Spezza at his best, Jason Spezza is currently at his best. Well on his way to eclipsing his career best of 34 goals, perhaps if Spezz can keep these multi point games humming he can get back into the 90 point range. We needn’t spend much time talking about those dudes though…
Now, this isnt a criticism of his play lately, as I think he’s been really working but man, who else would like to see Turris put one up tonight? He’s been great in both zones, in the faceoff circle, hitting posts, etc. All he needs is to do is get a sweet goal and hopefully heat himself up for the homestretch. Ottawa’s gunna need him.
On a related note, despite his fantastic hustle and 1st NHL goal, will Ottawa need Jim “Giv’r Deaner, DEANER” O’Brien come September training camp? Look, I’m happy Jim has finally cracked the line up after years of trying, call it Dogman style. Sidenote: Dogman was awesome last game! The thing working against J.O.B. is that he needs to light it F up but quick while he’s still got a clear opportunity on the roster as he will be in tough come training camp. There’s the obvious kids that come to mind like Zibanejad and Silferberg who’ll be ready to bite someone’s arm off for a spot but don’t forget that Jesse Winchester  and (let’s not be complete assholes and completely count out) Peter Regin wanting their jobs back. That’s not even considering any dark horse shit happening. Take a look at last years picks like Stefan Noesen (65pts in 52) and Shane Prince proving he has fully graduated from the OHL at 77pts in 48…how team USA didnt put that kid on their team…I’ll never know. Indulge me one further and consider the solid years his Binghamton teammates such as Andre Petersson, Rob Klinkhammer, Mike Hoffman, Pat Canonne, and Stephan Da Costa (lest we forget) are having…The Sens are looking like they have some good problems on their hands at camp. Light it up for WTYKY, Jimmy!

Well, I done took up enough time sort of talking about the game. This would be a huge two points for Les Boys. Full two points. Dont let these swine get that mercy point!

Anderson is in against Vokoun, apparently Ovi is a game time decision! OOOO La LAA!

Enjoy the game! (Puck drrrrrrroOOOOP is at 7 not 7:30)

Hi Everybody! Do You Think Erik Karlsson Can Score 20 Goals?

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I know that seems a little extreme but the beauty part is that in 2012, the idea of Karlsson scoring 20 goals only seems a LITTLE extreme. I raise this question because this number, 20, she has a history with me that dates back to that whacky year of our lord, 2010.

I was Tokyo drifting about on the salt flat that is the Offseason Sensphere where fans and writers alike are trying with all their might to find things to discuss*. Anyway, I can’t remember exactly where I read this, but in the heady, uncertain time that was the post-Heatley/pre-rebuild era some kind soul offered up a fan poll “Hey brosephine(s), who do you think will score 20 g/d goals for the Sens this year?” Pretty sure that was the exact wording.

It was a really good question at the time. With Spezza chronically struggling with injury, Jonathan Cheechoo living under the name Dr. Mario Prettyhorse and hiding in Burkina-Faso (oops sorry to give you away Cheech, my keyboard has no backspace button), Alex Kovalev was busy finishing up his Masters in Early 21st Century Money Collection, a general malaise loomed surrounding the team’s prospects for a 20 goal scorer. The notion that the Sens might have more than one 20 plus guy on the roster seemed rare, like Mr. Clean with hair.

On the message board below the poll, a poster expressed confidence that Erik Karlsson might perhaps be able to reach this milestone. Well, as you could imagine, many others on the message board tore that person to shreds (I know, rare behavior on a message board but bare with me). “ARE YOU KIDDING ME WHO DO YOU THINK HE IS PHIL HOUSLEY!?!?! OBVIOUSLY ITS GOING TO BE PETER REGIN!!!!” they scream-typed.

Now that the dust of that season has settled, at the close of 2010-2011 the Sens ended up with Spezza as Ottawa’s only 20 goal man, tallying 21.

Following much ballyhoo (is that not the worst word you’ve ever heard?) that breakout season for Regin never came to fruition and he finished with an abysmal 3 goals on the year. Sophomore Erik Karlsson, on the other hand, posted up an impressive 13 goals, which was interestingly the same number that Regin had finished the 2009-2010 season with and got a lot of fans talking about the (at the time) very real possibility that he could pot 7 more if given time in the top 6.

Seeing as Karlsson finished last season with 13 and is currently (conservatively IMO) on pace for 14. Do you think it is possible for him to put up 6 or 7 more in a season? Wait, before you answer, shut up for a second while I continue to say stuff!

The question on my mind is this, what exactly is a realistic ceiling projection for Karlsstud at this point? This kid has, for me, gone from “phew, working out nicely” to “hot holy Moses, He is the future of this team.” Where do we find our delicious nougatty middle that is packed with peanuts? This season’s performance sees our Special Little Guy poised to make all of the money currently on planet Earth. I’m not exaggerating, hockey insider Bob MacKenzie estimates that Karlsson will sign twixt the neighbourhood of eleventy trillion and one hundredy squillion Spacedollars depending on the new CBA. Rein it in? Time for me to rein it in.

Okay, so as of this writing, EK sits at 10 goals and is on pace for whopping 72 points which again I actually think is a little on the conservative side considering the amount of multi point performances the kid has put up. Regardless, that is right in the neighborhood  of elite puck mover Mike Green’s best season of 76 points. Long term what are we looking at here? At 21 years of age and in the midst of only his 3rd NHL season, do we have that oh so rare nearly point per game defensemen on our hands? It’s not so unreasonable considering his performance playing only on Sens teams that have varied from playoff bubble to lotto pick and back. Does anyone think maybe we will we see a Doughty-like regression once Karlsson is given ALL OF THE MONEY and becomes one of the five richest kings of the moon? It’s at least possible considering it happened to Drew Doughty.

It has got to be super motivating to watch every multipoint performance turn into visions of the Cadillac Escalade edition jet skis that Karlsson is all but assured to earn with his next contract but looking at the kid’s point totals each year, I am willing to accept this is perhaps an exceptional season but at the same time I do not expect much of a drop off for years to come. A drop off seems even less likely if the rebuild continues to go as planned and the Senators as a team get progressively better. It’s not like Karlsson can log many more minutes than he’s already playing but can he put up even more points within those minutes?

Okay so thanks for coming to my crib MTV, you’ve seen my hover boards, you’ve seen the kitchen made entirely of platinum that I’ve never looked at or used, you’ve seen my Jacuzzi full of Faberge eggs and organic rice pudding, now its time for you to go and tell me if you think Karlsson’s got 20 goals in him. Sub Question: Could he do it this year?

*Save for the entire staff of Welcome To Your Karlsson Years who, come summertime, return to our jobs writing commercials for Cheetah Power Surge Energy Drink. Wait till you see the new one we have planned with Ben Johnson. It’s a laugh riot. What’s that? Who is Ben Johnson? Are you serious? He’s only an Olympic sprinter who got caught cheating well over 20 years ago! DUH, read the late 1980’s news much? Anyway, really, really, hip stuff. Stay Tuned. I have a feeling that 2012 is going to be the year of the Mayan Apocalypse Cheetah Power Surge Energy Drink. Frank D’Angelo seems like a really good dude.


James Day Preview: Ottawa Date Nights Vs. Participating Tampa Bay Area Arby’s Locations

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Happy Love Day, Sens friends!
Don’t just sit there drinking your Chef Lonelyheart’s Soup for One cold straight out of the can while wiping away tears away with old issues of Mademoiselle that you took out of your neighbor’s recycling bin! NO, JOIN US, on this game previewdventure! Okay, so Love Day finds our Senators in the Fort Lauderdale area (what am I made of looking at a map of Florida in another window to see if Fort Lauderdale and Tampa Bay are even remotely close to each other?) to take on the I’m just going to lay it on the table, incredibly disappointing Tampa Bay Lightning. What? They are. That is a good team on paper that stinks right there.

I personally think that the hockey world was little quick to hand genius medallions to Guy Boucher and IM GOING TO SAY IT Steve Yzerman. Sometimes I wonder, what did Yzerman do to win all that praise so fast besides be an incredible, incredible hockey player in his day? He put together a gold medal winning Olympic hockey team. Which definitely earns a “THX BRO!” but it does come with a “I played NHL 98 too and can put together a pretty good all star team myself” asterisk. GMing an NHL team with a cap looks way harder. What else? He resigned Steve Stamkos? What is this, the 36th annual DOI OBVIOUSLY DO THAT AWARDS (AKA The DOIBVIES) Am I player hating too hard? I don’t know. Let’s move on to Guy Boucher. This guy who was in the Jack Adams discussion last year when he took the most boring thing about hockey, the trap system, to new and more boring heights. Congratulations about that. Oh…and he has had his system completely exposed since a trip to the conference finals. This exposé has already lead to a lot of discussion of Guy Boucher getting fired. That was fast. Mind you it would be awesome if he did get fired because then our divisional rivals in Montreal would be forced to hire him thanks to his name being Guy Boucher because media scrums and life is precious and God and The Bible. Oh brother.
Now, just because Im hatehatehating all up in this place, doesn’t mean the Sens are assured a win. No, no, no, like I said, this team is perplexing in its mediocrity. I’m not saying they are Vancouver Canucks deep but you cant keep a team with some of those names on it above 5 hundo? And its not like they are on some “they’re good but they don’t have any chemistry together” that’s typically reserved for the NY Rangers, this is a team that nearly went to the cup final last year. Seems like the more we know the less we know with this here caper. One thing I do know is that when you have Old Man Dwayne Rollerblades as your starter in net with Mathieu Garon, a goaltender who’s never been able to acquire a starting role backing up the 42 year old guy, nothing could possibly go wrong.

What does this all mean?

I like posting.

Oh, also, though I keep making mention that Tampa Bay has a better team than they show in the standings, they are by no means elite, but simply better than they appear. As I said there are some NAMES on this roster but if you look beyond your Stamkoseses,St.Louisi and LesCavaliers (I believe those are all proper pluralisations) their forwards’ output drops off to Kaspars Daugavins-like numbers. IfOttawacan shut down the top guys (easy right? Just you know, stop Stamkos from being able to score every single game and stop Martin St. Louis from being one of the fastest, most hardworking forwards in the league, you have to like their chances.

Speaking of big names scoring goals…

The last few games Ottawahas played you see goals coming from Alfredsson, Spezza, Phillips (!?), Karlsson, Michalek. Awesome, awesome work guys. Take a knee, play with your game gears for a bit while I talk to the others…Okay, so, the rest of you guys, if you could ALSO score a goal or three, the Senators would be winning a lot more games. Look at that Edmontongame, twasnt a blow out could have been different if the go-to guys weren’t leaned on so hard. Secondary scoring is likely what the Sens are going to have to depend on if they want to have a second half of the season even remotely close to as successful as the first. Tonight is no exception.

Greg Anderchuck starts in net for Ottawa while Mathieu (French for Matthew..the language of love, hon, hon, hon) Garon gets the nod for Tampa.

Enjoy the game!…because the next one aint on TV Considering today is Love Day (aka North American Dinner and a Movie night), you’d think they’d cut their losses and black this game out and broadcast the Florida one…oh well, I guess that’s why I get paid the BIGGEST bucks to write these posts.

Anyway, Love you.

James Day Preview: Ottawa Manatees vs. Edmonton Grizzled 1860s Prospectors

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Happy Saturday and further Happy Hockey Day in Canada! FINALLY, a day where Canadians can take some time and recognize how important the game of hockey is to the fabric of our nation. Right? You? Guys? *dodges running lawn mower thrown at my head* JEEZ cant even joke about that?

No, it’s a very exciting day for each and every last one of us. There is a lot of fun hockey on television PLUS we get to see the prime minister pretend to enjoy taking in a game and other humanoid activities*. There are a lot of games involving Canadian teams which is awesome for me as I hate most of the other Canadian teams! Alright, Habs vs. Leafs! I hope you BOTH LOSE! Lets GOOOOOOO! *dips fists in hot glue and then dips them in broken glass*

Ottawa hits the ice for a 2PM puck drop in what leading marine biologists refer to as a “Manatee Game.” I like to call it a “start drinking at brunch game”. Did I tell you that I am really excited about this professional hockey matchup? Cool, well I AM.

Foist thing’s foist

Can I get a Soulclap for our boy Chris Phillips? Wow, that guy really delivered for his 1000th game, didn’t he? I feel it necessary to make mention of this as it was pretty much a non-story to most hockey outlets and I want to use our MASSIVE appeal to get this story out into the ether.
I don’t want to harp on this too long, though I am incredible at playing the harp, but I can think of a lot of players who would get a lot of media attention for both A. Playing their 1000th game all with one organization (a Canadian one at that) and 2. if they scored two goals in said game including the winner… I think that would have been a bit of a talking point if it was all kinds of other players.
I’ll keep the whininess to a minimum (don’t get used to it) and I’m not going to name any names. Just sayin, like much of Phillips’ career, his hard work is off the radar, though something tells me Phillips likes it that way. Anyway, a 2 goal performance in a game that ‘must-win’? Not lost on this guy.

The Boys are Back in Town (and by Back In Town I mean visiting Ottawa for the first and only time this season)

So Ryan Ted Nugent – Sir Anthony Hopkins will be a scratch for the game has he is still not fully recovered from injuries suffered a number of weeks back. You know that olde proverb “One fan’s entertainment value is another fan’s kind of works out as he wont be there to thread passes to Jordan Eberle/Taylor Hall/Whoever all the live long game?” There’s that whole thing. So anyway, no Nugent-Hopkins, I guess the Sens have this one all wrapped u–WAIT WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT… There’s other good guys on the team?
Why isnt everyone talking about Jordan Eberle every 5 minutes? I know the youth movement in Edmonton gets talked about a lot but this kid is RIPPING it. Despite missing time due to knee issues, Eberle has put up a very impressive 54 points in 50 games, with 8 coming in his last 4 games. So, someone…cover that guy.
Also, cover this guy, Taylor Hall. He is also playing quite well of late with 9 points in his last 6 games. Unless he goes on some Scott Gomez tip, Hall will soon eclipse his rookie season output of 22 goals and it would be awesome if he worked toward that goal in games other than this one. Skateface.
Then there’s “top 10 overall draft bust” turned “guy who has 14 points in his last 4 games” Sam Gagne. Yes. Superstar Sam Gagne who you’ve always been hearing about all these years. He’ll be playing. Can he keep his seemingly out of nowhere gaudy point streak up? Let’s bleeping hope not. Those numbers are pure insanity. Kid is in the zone.
So yipes a bit…one good thing the Sens have going for them is that this team still has a lot of growing to do on D and in net.
One way or another, its been a rough road trip for the Oil and they will be “Post All Star break Ottawa Senators level” desperate for a win.

The Boys are Still in Town *air guitar* though youd think they were still on a road trip with one win in 7 games *high kick*

Chris Phillips will be honored at the game for his 1000th game…which was last game. So, you know, honoring stuff!
On the shoulders of Mr. 1000 and Mr. 583 (Spezza) the Sens turned in a very important victory against the Nashville Bar & Grills. If they want to carry their momentum forward they are going to have to do it the same way they did against Nashville: Points on the board. Now, Edmonton may not have Pizza Rinne in net but they do have enough firepower upfront to put a game away on sheer offense. Please dont tell Andy Sutton I said that.

Another key to victory will be “Pesty Nick Foligno” getting healthy scratched for “Regular Nick Foligno Who Doesnt Get Penalty After Penalty Called On Him” Nicky, I love you, but …with the pestiness…it’s not working out. We have enough players constantly getting penalized. Get back to your ‘Winning the game with 2 seconds left’ ways of olde.
I guess Erik Karlsson should get some points because basically, he’s set such a precedent now that if he fails to get a point every single game it seems like a slump.
Speaking of slumps (only real ones) Milan Michalek had a pretty damn good game last game with a crazy amount of missed scoring chances. Todays matchup is his opportunity TO CAPITALIZE ON THOSE FRIGGING CHANCES FOR GOD’S SAKE.
I have a good feeling about Butler, everyone! Whats that? No one cares about my ‘good feelings’. Cool. Understandable.

Craig Anderson gets the start in goal. Presumably, like a BO$$.

So happy Hockey Day In Canada everyone! Enjoy this game!! i think it will prove a very exciting one given how little attention is paid to defending on both teams. Its going to be wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide frigging open!

WTYKY Contest: I will be at the game tomorrow! If you can spot me I will give you TWO large sips of my beer**!

WTYKY Plea: Can you please follow us on the friggin twitters? @WTYKY I’ll be live drunk tweeting all game long (basically bugging the Sens DJ every five minutes) thanks. I’ll help you move one day.

*You do have to hand it to Dear Leader, he is VERY lifelike.

**Must be 19 years of age to enter (I aint no creep), offer only valid if I have more than two large sips remaining of my beer. No purchase necessary, its your funeral, I’m even more insufferable in person.

Round Table of Death: Why are the Senators the Blue Jackets All of a Sudden Edition

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Pete Says:

I think we’re talking about laziness and inattention to detail. Opponents are buzzing the sens net without being accounted for, forwards have defined back checking as poking at the puck with their sticks instead of tying up their marks own lumber. You can tell the defense partners aren’t talking to each other and… well the list goes on.

There seems to be times when the pretty play has been chosen over the safe play, particularly on the PP. I’m confident the coach will sort it out but with the younger kids that message takes a bit of time. If I could offer one bit of arm chair coaching maybe a send down and call up will shake things up?

James Says:

Though the Sens didn’t get totally thumped last night there is not a whole lot that appears to be clicking for them right now. I don’t want to sound like a broken record…actually, I probably do because that sounds fun and easy but…either way, I think aside from everything the Pete just rightly pointed out, the thing that scares me the most is that Daniel Alfredsson (praise be His mighty name) is by far the best player on the team. I don’t like that at all. He is too old to still be the engine that powers this dreamship. It was so much better earlier when his role was beginning to be Captain Clutch. Let the Michaleks and Folignos of the world score the goals and when you need a Stetson Man to hop off the bench and pot that shootout goal or break that tie or whatever…that’s when Papa Alfie makes his move.

Right now Alfredsson is looking 10 years younger than he is out there and making some power moves, which is just staggeringly impressive but…when are the Sens going to get away from this “Can’t someone Alfie do it?” model that rears its head year after year. Troublesome. It seemed like since the end of last season, Spezza was beginning to be the guy leaned on hardest and I think that’s great because I think he has the goods to be that but in situations like now where Spezza is likely hurt (or as Jason York speculates that Spezza is sick- not in the Ovechkin describing something positively way) that someone BESIDES ALFREDSSON needs to step in.
I will say some positive things too. I am still very impressed with Kyle Turris. He hasn’t played perfectly or anything but that kid makes things happen for sure. Happy to have him aboard. Chris Phillips also had a pretty outstanding game last night which he needed to have… because he had been looking like a pylon out there since returning from the all star break. I hope Philly can keep it up as scoring drying up is one thing but defense simultaneously being all over the place just makes for an ugly …seven game losing streak.
A lot of people are talking, “Call up Lehner to punch up the netminding” or “Call up Peterson to spark the goal scoring” which, really, aren’t terrible ideas by me though at this point I’m leaning most toward, “call up Borowiecki and add some enthusiasm to the D” or even just to wake up Carkner but I don’t know… whatever I’m no Harvey Globetrotter with this situation…just do whatever it takes to stop being the goddamn Columbus Blue Jackets already. I’ve noticed my visits to hockeysfuture have increased by 700% this month. Help me Varada…you always know what to do….or can complain about stuff more articulately than I.

Varada Says:

Hockey is a surreal and amazing phenomenon, inexplicable and unknowable. How Ottawa could have survived that terrifying January, mostly on the road and mostly unscathed, to find themselves sixth in the conference, only to then return to a strand of home games and a few days rest for the All Star Break, and then – only THEN – embark on the season’s worst losing streak is the stuff of torn hairlines. That they are losing games against the Islanders, or a Blues team that musters less than 20 shots, while on home ice, and giving up game winning goals from center ice, and being unceremoniously and thoroughly screwed by referees is not, in itself, that remarkable. But that it’s happening all at once, right now, is the stuff of maddening anarchy. Basically, late January and early February has been home to the kind of hockey that confirms that there is no god, only random patterns in an uncaring universe.

For the first time in months, the statistical probability thatOttawawill make the playoffs is below 50%, down to 39.9%. How quickly we go from “anything better than dead last is gravy!” to this crushing reality – a surprising playoff experience replaced, most probably, by just missing it. The team has played better than expected up until now and I hope they can turn it around. But with less games remaining than most teams and defintely anyone ahead of them in the standings, they need to become a completely different team overnight and win at least 2/3rds of their games. I don’t know if that can happen.

In my last pessimistic post, I said that I wasn’t quite ready to throwAndersonunder the bus. And I’m still not, though I am nudging him toward the curb. I haven’t done a quantitative analysis, but I’d be willing to bet that he’s outright lost the game for the team – meaning that the game was oneOttawashould have won, except the goaltending mussed it up – as often as he’s outright won one. If it does in fact turn out to be .500, that ain’t bad for a goaltender, but I’m dusting off my trusty “Why make commitments to goaltenders?” argument, which looks especially good at times like this.

Consistency is such a rare trait among a goaltender that Luongo got 187 years and a kerbillion dollars just for being perceived to be a consistently-very-good-if-not-necessarily-elite goaltender, at which point he promptly became one of the few liabilities on that Vancouver team during their Cup run. We don’t need to talk about Bryzgalov. I like Anderson, I have since his days in Florida, but four years and north of three million per is a tougher pill to swallow on some days than on others.

But if I can focus on some very small and seemingly petty detail for a moment: what is with this team’s repeated attempt at the stretch pass? All teams occasionally resort to it, I understand, but it seems to me that this is a tactic to be employed opportunistically, when one sees one’s forwards sneaking in behind the opposition defense. It is not, say, something to be relied on about 75% of the time you find yourself in your own end with the puck. How many times have we seen some player like Condra – meaning, a well meaning and hard working but otherwise relatively unskilled third line player – trying to handle a 60 foot screamer from Filip Kuba or, worse, Matt Carkner? How many times have we skated through the neutral zone with possession only to see someone attempt a hairline pass along the red line in the hopes that the forward will maintain possess, fend off a trap defender, and stick-handle into the zone? I never though I’d say it, but can we get a little dump n’ chase around here?  I think we can assume that overall the technique has worked, as the Senators offense is much better this season, but during these dark days I’ve got think that maybe the system needs a little tweak.

James Day Preview: Ottawa Lowered Expectations vs. St. Louis Blind Willie McTells

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you kids dont know about REAL blues. Probably.

Hello there Sens fans,

And… how are we feeling about our favorite little team this week? Really really good or really, really, really great? Good, good. Me? Oh thanks for asking. That’s how reading a blog works right? We’re having a conversation through satellite dishes made of wishes. So let me tell you how I’m feeling, because let’s face it, this is really mostly about me and my feelings…to quote my old Grandpappy, “I’m sick brah, whatevs….I’m like…over it and shit.” Heh heh…oh Grandpappy Sklyar. He had a funny way. Whenever he’d say something like that he would always brush his bangs out of his face (he hated when they touched his lip ring) and would adjust his Monster Energy Drink baseball cap juuuust so. Sigh. He’s playing that big Nintendo DS in the Sky (Skymall, he’s just at a mall called the Skymall right now)

Anyway, we’re all in a weird place EMOTIONALLY right now, aren’t we? We don’t know whether we’re supposed to be bummed out because our previously very fun to watch team has become LESS THAN SO MUCH FUN TO WATCH or shrug it off Grandpappy Skylar style all, “We were spoiled early on but this actually what rebuilding is all about, so onward and downward!” I wish I had answers for you there, puppy. I really do. Just kidding I’m a complete jerk who thinks they have all the answers! Imagineer with me!

When a team is mired in a six game losing streak in this work a day world, there are a lot of faces to stick one’s big, stupid blame fingers in. Let’s now do that together. Goaltending has been sub par and in connection with that, much of Ottawa’s D corps has looked sluggish and even a touch soft on plays. Okay, well that just about wraps it up for the Sens troubles moving on— oops! Not even close to all of their problems. So scoring has quite nearly stopped altogether. The surprising secondary scoring punch that I believe was winning Ottawa the majority of their games, save for a recent tally from Zack Smith against ‘nem Islanders, has pretty much completely dried up. More troubling, the essential firstondary scoring has also evaporated from the top line and top offensive D men. Want more? Okay, perhaps my biggest fear for the Senators going into the season has come to fruition, Jason Spezza appears to not be himself. Lookin a little bit hurt up in here.
Now, mind you, Spezza gets hurt pretty much every single season so you’d think we’d be used to it. He’s only played more than 70 games 3 times in his career, played the full 82 once. Now, look, this isn’t a knock on Spezz. He gets hurt playing a very intense sport for a living. I just hurt my wrist just from FALLING OVER playing on an outdoor rink last weekend (thank you for the thousands upon thousands of ‘get well’ tweets, you guys) I cant judge him.  More than a little understandable that a guy plays over 20 mins of top line NHL hockey gets banged up routinely. I just cant help but think that in situations like the current one where Spezza has an undisclosed injury (please for the love of Jah don’t be his back again) and he’s a game time decision…maybe an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of power crystals. I love his gumption. I love that he wants to go in there and help his struggling teammates but I cant help but wonder if he cant just sit a couple out and give healthy Kyle Turris a few more minutes while he heals up a bit . Spezza hasn’t put up a point in 6 games (eeep). If he’s hurt I’m not sure if he’s helping being in the lineup. As much as I think Spezza is integral to the Sens chances this season, with his history of injuries, this team is going to have to learn how to play without him. Maybe now is that time. Games are only going to get more intense.
Speaking of upcoming injuries, HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Craig Anderson gets the start A-GAINNNN. So since we were talking about blame fingers (new thing?) what is happening with this, Paulrus? Is Alex Auld allowed to have a belt, shoelaces or cutlery at this point? Has he been eating and attending his art therapy sessions? I’m really worried about him/Paul MacLean’s COMPLETE lack of confidence in him. That’s going to be a really tense game when he finally does get to play. I know they’ve been really important games (THEY ALL ARE REALLY IMPORTANT NOW THAT THEY’VE LOST SIX STRAIGHT BTW) but Auld not being thrown a bone for that Islanders game really said something to this fan/level B wizard.

It doesn’t really stop there either, I gotta say, as a person who is an expert at not knowing very much about coaching it is important to voice my opinion and here it is, “Can we please put the lines back to how they were when the team was good?” I mean we’ve got Condra with Turris and Alfie, Foligno down with Neil and Smith …I keep finding Jim O’Brien’s hair in my food and he’s playing on a line with a clown ghost and porcupine on a unicycle. Sorry, I don’t know what I just wrote there. I’m a bit light headed from these hair dye fumes. IT’S CALLED MULTI TASKING. The lines got mixed up and the result was a 5-0 pounding. Strategy: Landed. Now let’s get it back to the way that was working.

Now on to the game story: Something, something Brian Elliot. St. Louis is good. Sens really have to fucking win or whatever.

Excitingish Conclusion: It’s REALLY easy to freak out in these situations. When the team looks this flat it seems like they’ll never win again. Aside from their inaugural season, that’s never the case. Yes, it’s rough when the leafs overtake our boys in the standings every few years but consider this: Who would have thought the Sens riding on the shoulders of a 6 game winless streak in February WOULD STILL BE AHEAD OF THE WARSHINGTON KAPITALS!!?!?! Now THAT’S gotta be really disappointing. Imagine Ottawa had Washington’s exact roster and was in 9th? Damn. At least we KNOW our team is supposed to suck when they suck. I know the Sens are in tough against the Red Hot Bluesy Peppers and the Nashville Predlocks before things get a little more even Steven against Edmonton on Saturday. Does that mean that Ottawa’s going to lose two and then win one? Maybe but since Pro Line is still in business I’m going to assume that hockey is still very unpredictable game in and game out. I think this could be a very interesting week especially Saturday because I spent so much goddamn money on my ticket for that game and as such t is an absolute must win. Enjoy tonight’s game!

Remember this song friends,

The sun will probably come out, tomorrow
Bet only one of several dollars that tomorrow
There is a decent but still outside chance they’ll be sun