1-5-0 is the new winning

Outstanding effort last night from our Ottawa Senators, who trounced the Philadelphia Flyers 7-2 at the Scotiabank Place.

The team was off to a torrid start, scoring four goals in the first period against a hapless and pathetic Sergei Bobrovsky. Despite being loaded with established stars like Chris Pronger, Kimmo Timonen, and Jaromir Jagr, and up-and-comers like Claude Giroux and James Van Riemsdyk, the Flyers ran around in their own end all night, unable to generate even a modicum of offense against stalwarts like Chris Phillips and Filip Kuba. Bobrovsky gave up a goal from what appeared to be an impossible angle against Calder-candidate Mika Zibanejad, who also proved Ottawa right in passing on Sean Couturier by keeping him off the board with a thundering check. Bobs then gave up three more goals on only ten shots. 

Philadelphia did mount some pressure in the 2nd period after a switch in goal to their high-priced off-season acquisition Bryzgalov, but couldn’t convert on a lenghty 5-on-3. Their defensemen stood around looking paralyzed with the puck, neither shooting nor passing. Bryz then gave up three goals in the final minutes of the third. Also, Nick Foligno and Peter Regin are legitimate NHL hockey players.

Truly, Philadelphia Flyers fans should be worried about how poorly their team played last night – their second blow-out loss in their last three games – and management should be panicking about where the season is headed. Adjustments are required. They knew they would stink heading into this year, but they certainly don’t want to rival some of the worst teams in league history, like the 1992 Ottawa Senators.

We Ottawa Senators fans should thank god we’re not Philadelphia Flyers fans. Can you imagine what they must be going through?

On Having the League Exactly Where We Want It

I can’t think of a better outcome: the games are generally close (a 7-1 drubbing notwithstanding) and entertaining; the team features an interesting mix of upcoming talent and scrappy veterans; Spezza is proving himself a premier playmaker; and at the heart of the team is an extremely creative young franchise defenseman who is worth the price of admission alone. But in the end the games are still mostly losses. Believe it or not, this is what we want.

Rooting for losses is difficult, not only because you’d like your team to prove everyone wrong, but also because 82 games is a lot of hockey to watch if your team is terrible. But when Murray says he expects this team to be competitive, I think we can distinguish between being competitive in the standings and putting up a fight every night. These Ottawa Senators certainly do the latter. Management is embedding a competitive spirit in the dressing room while keeping a stall open for Yakupov. Far preferable to the team going on a surprising run that gets our hopes up without coming within miles of true contention.

It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s proper team building. John Tavares has nine points in his last two games, and the Islanders on the right side of .500. Ryan Nugent-Hopkins had a hat-trick last night, in just his third NHL games, and they almost beat Vancouver. Steve Stamkos has already dominated the league. We’re not even talking about Crosby / Ovechkin style generational players, but we see how integral such high draft picks are for a rebuilding team. For a team that has already catapulted itself to the top of the prospect rankings in one year, adding a marquee forward and some great depth can only hurry this along.

The mantra might be “Just one painful season,” but the way the Senators are playing it won’t even be all that painful.

Well, uh…now what do we do?

Four games in, still far too early to panic. (And panic about what? We weren’t expecting a competitive team, were we?) But worst Goals Against Per Game (5.45…the next worst team is Winnipeg at 4.5), blown out by a team most seem to think will be picking alongside us in the lottery, allowing on average 35 shots against per game and Craig Anderson, the one factor we all thought could make a difference this year, sporting a .853 SV%. Not what you’d call the sort of start Ottawa wants to the season.

Next up is Washington, on the road, and then Philadelphia. Two of the best teams in the East. If Ottawa drops those two games by similarly huge scores, putting us five games below .500, we could see a repeat of the Auld / Gerber mini-crisis we experienced back in 2008-2009. Our (relatively) high priced acquisition supplanted by our budget back-up. If that doesn’t work, we may actually see Robin Lehner sooner than we thought. And if that doesn’t work, then we’re officially in New York Islanders territory.

I think we all expected some bumps in the road this season, and some adjustments as the team tried to right the ship, but to find myself thinking about substantive changes a few games in is too bad. Here’s hoping Anderson gets some more support from the defense in front of him before the crowd turns on him too.

In terms of deadline resources, Sergei Gonchar and Filip Kuba aren’t exactly helping themselves along to a contender. (Though Kuba’s been getting at least 20 minutes a night almost by default.) At least Karlsson’s been lights-out.

Yield for Yakupov?

Yield for Yakupov!

On Hard Work and Diminishing Advantages

There was a time when the Ottawa Senators were considered an extremely skilled team without the discipline, grit, or work ethic to put together a Championship season. It was thought that if only some accountability was instilled in the dressing room that they would be dominant. Bryan Murray’s first stint as coach seemed to affirm it: here was a no-nonsense, traditional hockey guy who could whip young talent like Jason Spezza into shape, a foil to the quiet Jacques Martin, who lifted the team out of obscurity with a sound defensive system and amazing special units organization. When he was promoted to GM, Murray didn’t hesitate to hire a string of authoritarian coaches to presumably throw chairs around the room and call out skilled players in the media. There’s a bit of hindsight and 20/20 vision at play, but it doesn’t seem to have worked out as planned: the team suffered through even bigger and seemingly inexplicable collapses. Under Paddock they went into a death spiral after one of the best starts to a season in NHL history. Each coach was ejected with even less ceremony than the last.

So when I read this article about MacLean bag skating the team, I can’t help but think “here we go again.” The quotes are interchangeable with the ones from seasons past. “It’s a new regime, and we’re not going to be satisfied with not getting points, nor should we,” said [Chris] Philips. “We should have to show that character and not give up, but we have no points to show (for those first two games) and that’s what it’s all about — results.”

We have to play three complete periods. We need to outwork the competition. The veterans need to “step up,” meaning, one presumes, try harder. It’s all in the effort, we’re told.

The problem with making your system all about size, speed, and effort is that it’s exactly the same system almost every other franchise in the league employs. You’re competing for the same resources – big, fast, hard working players – and the same advantages in temporarily outworking an opponent. You might out-compete for a period here or there, or every once in a while get lucky, play against a tired or injured team and out-compete the whole game. But your periods of advantage are sliver-thin. This is professional sports, and everyone is big, fast, and works hard. You won’t have enough advantages over the course of a season to win more games than you lose, especially with a team simultaneously this young and inexperienced and old and tired.

Which is why teams like Detroit and Nashville and talked about as being some of the smartest in the league. They recognize that if they use a different measuring stick, they won’t be competing with as many for the same resources, and they won’t be playing force against force for the same advantages. With Detroit it’s all about puck possession. With Nashville it’s defensive deployment throughout the forward core. The question goes: why wouldn’t you want a small, slow, lazy player if he possesses a skill that serves your system and contributes to a win, especially if those supposed deficiencies mean he can be had for less money? Maybe your system seeks out great stick-handlers or shooters at the expense of size and attitude. Maybe it’s shot-blockers, or the ability to recognize and adapt to a system like Guy Boucher’s. But surely a franchise who wants “guys who work hard” is going to have a hard time finding more hard-working guys than anyone else.

Case in point is Bobby Butler. He isn’t big, he’s not a great skater, and he doesn’t back check. His strengths are on-ice vision, in that he can get into open slots, and a wicked shot. He’s been benched because the team is trying to make him into a more complete player. And it may work. But if you’re paying this kid a million bucks a year to shoot pucks at the net, how is he going to do it from the press box? Could he be used as one cog in a diverse system designed to generate overall offense rather than a facsimile of grunt-like workers? Is giving him sheltered minutes with a true pivot not using him properly, rather than an indication of preferential treatment?

It’s Moneyball all over again: look for in the aggregate what you can’t get in the individual.

It’s only three games into the season, and I like MacLean a lot. I think he’s going to stick in Ottawa, if only because he seems like such an affable guy. The bitter pill of bag skates goes down easier when the coach isn’t a dick about it. But if the reports are any indication (and they may very well not be) this fifth coach in five seasons seems to be off to an identical start as his predecessors. Maybe the next coach will make the team skate twice as hard and far as MacLean. Maybe that will do it.

On “getting over” Dany Heatley

“Getting over” Dany Heatley has an appropriately pathetic ring to it, if only because at the time of his trade request it certainly felt comparable to being dumped. One year into a six year, $45 million contract that was to make permanent one of the foundational pillers of Ottawa’s Cup Run team, he suddenly and with seemingly little provocation requested a trade. Trades can be amicable and professional (see Heatley’s trade from San Jose just a couple of seasons later), but the suddenness of it, coupled with the very public manner in which it unfolded, made the process a brutal one.

The question today, on the eve of his second return to Ottawa since the trade, is whether the fan base should get over it. Check the poll from that link: most think not.

But the question shouldn’t be whether our feelings should still be hurt. This is professional sports, trades happen, and beyond the semantics of “making a commitment to a city” when an athlete signs a contract, Dany Heatley doesn’t owe Ottawa fans a thing. The better question, I think, is: have we (and by we I mean Ottawa’s management) learned anything from that fiasco? Have we “gotten over” whatever our tendencies were that led to that trade in the first place? Hurt feelings don’t serve much purpose, but lessons learned do, and Bryan Murray made his share of mistakes that summer.

First and foremost seemed to be his lack of patience for the media / public relations game. Look to fairly media-savvy franchises, like Pittsburg, and how they handle touchy subjects like Crosby’s health. We receive regularly scheduled press conferences and videos of his practices, all while management controls the message by reassuring the fan base and deferring to their medical staff. Contrast this with the Heatley Summer of Gossip, catalyzed by the fact that the trade request was leaked, and egged on however inadvertently by the silence from both Murray and Heatley’s camps. The Edmonton trade that never happened then also took place in a pubic manner that was totally humiliating for both Edmonton and Ottawa. There was far too much information, followed by not nearly enough.

These years later, Murray (both Bryan and Tim) and Melnyk still seem more comfortable shooting from the hip, somehow unaware that both the fan base and the traditional media covering the team are hanging on their every word and finding in their every utterance material for a new 500 word column. From a couple of comments on the part of Spezza and Murray, it’s now common knowledge that Cory Clouston was a “bad communicator.” Murray still goes on the record saying the team is one or two pieces away from competing, “especially in the East,” which gives me nightmares of Ottawa embracing the Mediocre Toronto Model of sneaking into the playoffs as a lower seed. Melnyk is an absolute train wreck, contradicting himself and setting all sorts of unreasonable expectations. All this communication, and no semblance of clarity concerning a plan, a method, a goal. If you require a blue collar, traditional hockey guy to have respect in this league, then insulate the players and management from the PR guys. But let PR be the face and voice of the franchise when speaking with the media and the public.

Another lesson learned might have come from Heatley’s No Trade clause coupled with the long term deal, which first diminished the possible trades and then allowed Heatley to nix the trade to Edmonton. There hasn’t been a player good enough to warrant a six year deal, but Murray still gave limited or modified No Trade Clauses to both Chris Phillips, Alexei Kovalev, and Sergei Gonchar. He gave a four year deal to Craig Anderson. This team has been handcuffed by a combination of years outstanding and NTCs.

Lastly, and perhaps most puzzling, is Murray’s faith in the “core” of this team, which led him to offer Heatley such an extravagant deal, which saw Heatley become alienated when not used in a way that he thought appropriate for a core player, and which then led Murray to that strange Chris Phillips extension. Granted that the team captured lightning in a bottle on that trip to the Finals, but Alfredsson is older, Spezza still doesn’t have a legitimate sniper to play with, Anton Volchenkov is gone, and the team hasn’t received anything resembling dependable goaltending. The notion of adding “one more piece” to an untouchable core is the single most damaging thing for this club, and Heatley should have proven that core status is impermanent.

Maybe I’m not giving Murray enough credit. Maybe he’s better at PR than I think, and is saying all of this one more piece stuff to sell tickets. Maybe the deals he’s given out have been deemed by a secret team of advanced metrics analysts to be too reasonable to pass up. Maybe in some universe this core can still compete. But with Dany Heatley coming back – and, I’ve got to say, looking rejuvenated in Minnie – it’s an opportunity to look back and think of how the Murray regime could have handled things differently. If you’re mad about the situation you can boo Heatley, for all the good that’ll do, or you can demand more of the man at the wheel. The Heatley trade will be a major part of Bryan Murray’s legacy in Ottawa, and it should be.

On Leaf Fans’ Gloating

Curious to see Leafs fans gloating about what they hope will be a season of trouncing the Sens. Defeating a rebuilding club should be a given, shouldn’t it? Especially when the Leafs are spending as much as they are on salary, are in the fourth year of their “this isn’t a five year rebuild” rebuild, and absolutely must compete now. So why gloat? If they win, there’s nothing remarkable about it, and they’re just helping the Sens along to a higher draft pick. (We don’t trade our first rounders during rebuilds, which is a novel concept.) If they don’t win, then by their own admission they should be embarrassed.

The fact of the matter is that there’s so much riding on this season for the Leafs that you can smell the desperation and tension in the air. What happens if they finish yet another season without the playoffs, knowing that they could be competing by now had they not hired the brashest, least patient GM in the game? Do you commit to a five year rebuild now, knowing that their market is desperate for some playoff hockey? What good is it to be a bubble team who makes it to the playoffs only to be destroyed in the first round?

The Leafs, and their increasingly exasperated fan base, are in purgatory. Theirs is a fate worse than sucking, because even having a bad season has its purposes. Too bad to win it all, too good to get better. Where have we heard this before?

Leaf fans gloat about beating up on a rebuilding club because there’s not much else there to get excited about. The Senators may be a few seasons from being competitive again, but I have no doubt that when Ottawa’s window of contention opens again the Leafs will be right where they’ve been all of these years: hoping to sneak in and get hot at the right time, and a team no one is truly afraid of encountering in the playoffs. Seems a shame to spend six seasons out of the playoffs only to end up right back where you started.

Are you ready for some footba…hockey?!

And you guys are uncomfortable with the Winnipeg Jets use of Canadian military imagery? Imagine if they flew over Canada’s Wonderland with lightning-shooting supersonic jets and turned the upside-down swinging ship ride into a giant hockey puck. Imagine that.

Anyway…hockey’s back! Leafs are a bunch of bums! Montreal are slightly smaller bums because that city is a lot of fun sometimes! Go beer go!

Someone Still Loves You Nikita Filatov OR Is James Dumber Than a Hamster

Frigging NAILED it bro! (probably!)

OR

Look at those itty bitty goggles!

The regular season starts in only 735, 341, 221, 968 seconds*! Let us Zellerbrate this moment of our lives with the discussing of the stuff that hasn’t happened yet / might not even happen!

 Readers, maybe it’s the Black Licorice Smirnoff Ice I had for lunch talking but I’ve been getting my WONDER ON in regards to how Nikita Filatov is going to stack up in goal scoring coming into the Sens lineup this year in comparison to some of those who exited toward the end of last season.

Let’s all of us have a look at some of those sold away during Bryan Murray’s human trafficking and how they did goal-wise in the time they were with our broloved Senators, shall we?

Christopher Kelly – 12 goals in 57 games played

Michael Fisher – 14 goals in 55 games played

Alexanderei Kovalev – 14 goals in 54 games played

Jjaarrkkoo Rruuttuu – 2 goals in 50 games played

Christos Campoli – 3 goals in 58 games played

Whoooaaaaa, eaaaaasy there, Salade du Chef, try not to score ALL the goals! I have to catch my breath here from the so much the scoring of the goals…Okay, moving forward…

The Averages me being a complete dick edition (that unfairly includes Ruutu and Campoli): 9 goals in 54.8 – lets just call it 55 games. I had to punch that in a few times to makes sure it was actually only 9 goals. Interesting Note: Last year SUUUUUCKED, right guys?

The Averages Top 9 playaz club (No Camps or Ruutu to drag the avg down edition): Lets just round it to 13.33333333333333333333333333333333333333 goals in 55.33333333333333333333333333333333333 games

Some notes on these players: Look, we all love and miss Uncle Kelly and handsome Aunt Fisher. Im not knocking Chris Kelly’s numbers here, in fact, 12 goals by the trade deadline is mighty impressive for a penalty killing 3rd line centre. Mike Fisher, played a lot of the season injured and spent his time inOttawa arguably hampered by unrealistic expectations. Alex Kovalev did PRETTY WELL considering he was distracted last season thanks to the dwindling success of the 3 Pizzacone franchises he opened in his nativeTogliatti,USSR. That and battling the Beer-run media – you know what im talking about! Right Conspirabros? Am I right or wrong?

 Real TALK (and WATCH your mouth): For realtalk though that is NOT a lot of goals for what? 11 million dollareedoos of salary. Seriously…on some yipes-yipes when it comes to a cap space spent to offensive output ratio. So for 2011-2012 that’s 3 experienced top 9 players, 40 goals and 11M bones out the door.
Now, ‘round the Sensosphere (this is my last post don’t even worry) we like to talk a good “What have you 20 goalsed for me lately?” game and you know what friends? We should. I don’t know if you follow any of the other teams but did you know that some of them have MORE THAN ONE player that scores 20 OR MORE a season? But I’m not here to talk about the ELUSIVE 20 goal mark but I’m aksing (actual way some people say ask) you this gentle reader, can our boy Nikita Filatov surpass one of these players pre-trade goal mark at entry level money in 2011-2012**? Or beat the average? Plot thickener: If so, can he do it in the same amount of games? Most Importantly: If Filatov surpasses Kovalev’s total will I be able to dig deep down and manage to find new depths to hate that signing with? Join me here at the trade deadline in 2012*** to see how he’s fared!

The Filatov Factor: People seem to talk a gang of shit about him and there have been some moments that are a bit sketchy (namely that whole going back to play for Moscow thing…but now that I think on it Ottawa also has this thing that Rundblad might elect to go to Skkellephetsynthesizer of the SEL and no one is writing his career off so…). I’m giving the benefit of the doubt for now. Didn’t get along with Ken Hitchcock? You know what…I don’t really get along with notoriously difficult, stubborn people too! Didn’t fit in with the Columbus system? Really? After they did such a great job developing other 1st rounders Rositlav Klesla (?), Pascal LeClaire (retired?), Nik Zherdev (KHL), the OTHER Alex Picard (as big a marquee name as the OTHER OTHER Alex Picard), Gilbert Brule (fresh off waivers from THE OILERS…THE OIIIIILERS), and Jakub Voracek.  

Considering he was traded for a 3rd rounder the risk undertaken in his aquisition couldnt hardly have been lower. I have a pretty good feeling that given a chance to try out his sea legs in the top 6 for the better part of an NHL season he could potentially do it. Come muse with me in the comment section! This post’s comment section is sponsored by TheOliveGarden.com official breadstick provider of welcome to your Karlsson years****

 *real number
**rests on timing of Mayan apocalypse
***also rests on timing of Mayan apocalypse / not conflicting with a personal appearance I am scheduled to make at the Pizza Pizza in Arnprior, ON, BE THERE AND CRACK THE CARDBOARD WITH ME!!!!
****God willing.

Trading Daniel Alfredsson

Say what you will about Sportsnet, but Senators correspondant Ian Mendes has conducted himself with a lot of class and restraint while covering the Senators. He’s as aware as anyone of how sensitive this fan base is about Alfie. With that in mind, I don’t take his report that this might be Alfredsson’s last season, and that he would consider a trade, very lightly.

I don’t want to use this space to get sentimental about the best player in franchise history. If and when this supposed trade or retirement happens, there will be no shortage of tributes – from us included. But right now I can’t help but think about how unbelievably helpful trading a player of Alfredsson’s caliber could be for this team. Having him retire as a Senator would be nice. Getting a 1st round pick and a prospect, having him win a cup, and then welcoming him home with a cushy front office gig or the title of Swedish scouting czar would be even better.

Because Alfie isn’t just a nice deadline acquisition: he would be one of the best on the deadline market in years. He still led this team in scoring before going on the shelf last year. He plays an incredible two-way game, plays on the power play and penalty kill, has been a captain in the NHL for years, has produced late into the playoffs, and has done so consistently. If Keith Tkachuk could get St. Louis a player, a 1st, 2nd and 3rd round pick (albiet from Don Waddell, hardly a model GM), what does Alfie garner?

There’s also the comic book fantasy of seeing one of our favorite players compete on one of the league’s most skilled teams. How would he do in Detroit, or Vancouver? What would he look like playing on the powerplay in Washington?

And besides: this is probably his last year. It’s less any one injury problem than a nagging and unspecific set of maladies that are keying the captain in on the impending end. After 16 seasons in the NHL, there’s just an amount of wear-and-tear the human body has difficulty sustaining. He’s already celebrated his 1000th game, his 1000th point, and an Olympic gold medal. There aren’t too many milestones left for him other than winning the Cup.

This one might hurt, sure. But you know what’s worse? Living through the Mats Sundin debacle in Ottawa. Weeks upon weeks of intense media coverage asking if he’d be willing to accept a trade, whether he’d do what is right for the franchise again, one last time, by getting us that extra draft pick or prospect. Sure, Alfie’s earned the right to choose, and no one will hold it against him if he chooses to stay. But thinking about the possibilities for this rebuilding club is tantalizing.

Hate Speech in Hockey: The Other Hit From Behind

We’ve got a special guest post today. Let’s call her JEM. Huge thanks for an excellent article.

There have been several accounts of hate speech—specifically racism and homophobia—in hockey reported in the media recently. On one hand, this is great, because the unjust reality of hate speech on the ice needs to be exposed. On the other hand, it totally sucks, because hate speech totally sucks.

To recap, the reports in my awareness are as follows:

1)      A banana was thrown at Philadelphia Flyers player, Wayne Simmonds, by jerk-fan Chris Moorehouse during a pre-season game. Moorehouse contends that his intention was to block a goal rather than convey a racist message, but he is being charged and could be fined up to $2000. I’m not sure what the charge is exactly—committing a hate crime? Throwing a banana?—as I can only know so many things. And of those things that I do know, one of them is this: he deserves to be charged, even if his intentions were misinterprated. You should know that I’m not a tough-on-crime kinda gal, and certainly don’t want to see people ending up in the clink (so what, I’m a bit of a prison abolitionist)—which he’s not – yay! (BTW, have you ever seen the HBO series Oz?). I don’t typically believe in making an example out of people, either. But in this case, I do. It’s time to fucking crack down on this shit. And by this shit I mean racism. I am willing to give Moorehouse the benefit of the doubt—he may really not have known the connotations of his actions. Not everyone knows about all things racist. I mean, he’s not a character from the movie Crash. Those people know ALL things racist, and their everlasting knowledge of things racist functioned to make what purported to be an anti-racist film the most racist film of all time.

2)      Wayne Simmonds (yes, from the aforementioned story) called notorious trash-talker Sean Avery the homophobic F-Word. It’s true, I watched it on the internet. (FYI, Sean Avery has been at the forefront of gay rights in hockey. Huzzah!) On one hand it’s tempting to question how a person victimized by racial hate speech (and presumably not only in this context) could turn around and employ the same kind of tactics on another person. But then reality sets in and we realize that’s not how life works.  Things are actually complicated and post-modern (WOMN 1020). So let’s talk just desserts: Cold Stone Creamery. No, that’s not what I’m supposed to be talking about here. Take two: There have been a couple of sports players in the past who have been fined big bucks (and by big bucks, I mean small potatoes for a sports star—but I’m not complaining!) for this kind of offense: Kobe Bryant was fined $100,000 for spitting a homophobic slur at a referee, and Joakim Noah (whoever that is) was fined $50,000 for directing the same kind of love (hate!) towards a fan. Simmonds deserves to be reprimanded. Let’s get rid of homophobia already! If the “1 in 10” adage is true—that is, one in every tenth person is gay—then it stands to reason that each team has ½ a gay person on the ice at all times. Just kidding, that doesn’t make any sense. Not only because it’s stupid, but my math suggests that a team has five players on the ice instead of eight. Duh.

3)      A 15 year old minor league hockey player from Ottawa, Nick Ngwafusi, was called the racist F-Word, which does not actually start with the letter “f” at all. Ngwafasi is Black, so you can deduce what the racial slur was. CTV (with Marianne Meehan and Graham Richardson) did a story about it last night, and it really broke my heart to see this young, talented kid being destroyed inside by the racism that is blemishing his ice time. Ngwafusi made it clear that it does not end with emotional pain, though. Every time he is subjected to a racial remark on the ice, his game weakens. He explained that lately his performance has gone down noticeably because he feels like he is playing with “extra weight.” This is just so fucking wrong. Like, SO FUCKING WRONG! My heart is breaking, but not as much as I imagine Ngwafusi’s is, or his dad’s, who was also in the broadcast. The player hurling the hate speech has been suspended for one game. Because authorities were not in earshot of the verbal assault, that was the most they could do. Fair enough, I guess?

So, it’s time to come up with a solution. If you ask me (which you are doing by reading this), I for one think that every player should be equipped with a microphone. That’s right, it’s time to get Big Brother on this shit. You wanna talk about cost? Fuck that. I don’t care how much it costs. Cut salaries for all I care. If the NHL can mic players for television entertainment in HBO’s 24-7, they can do it to address the injustice of hate speech. Okay, maybe HBO paid for that, but I think the NHL has pretty deep pockets. Or they could come up with the money the same way I always say the government could: legalize marijuana and tax it. That works in this case, right? I’m so full of good ideas. But for real, players should be equipped with microphones. The cost of hate speech on the ice outweighs the cost of electronic doodads.

Next: There should be a Brendan Shanahan of hate speech. And when a player employs racism or homophobia as a tactic, it should be reviewed the same way as hit from behind – but with less questions and debate.  And the consequences should doled out liberally, like the butter in my mashed potatoes. Hate speech in hockey, like a deliberate hit from behind, is a form of non-consensual violence. It becomes assault – verbal assault, which is as painful as assault delivered physically (WOMN 1808).  Like a deliberate hit from behind it, hate speech induces pain and potentially long-term damage. This is especially true in the cases of racist and homophobic slurs, which are linked to years of violence and oppression, both systemic and micro. So NHL (and other leagues), use your big stupid rich brain and make the systemic changes required to end micro-level racism and homophobia on the ice! It can only make the game better! For all we know, Nick Ngwafusi is the next *insert your favourite player of all time here*, but if hockey leagues don’t step up to the plate (baseball reference in hockey talk?), we could never know, and that is a preventable shame.