13.09.2010: In which we recommend that you buy Senators low and sell high in favor of a diversified energy portfolio

James Romanuk to me, peter
show details Sep 9 (3 days ago)

Bonjour Bilbo Bagginses,

So here we are only eleventy things away from pre-training camp brunch planning and this weekend marks the beginning of the rookie agent/lawyer conference call and tweeting tournament. WOW! Double training camp all the way! WHAT DOES IT MEAAAAAAN!? (meme reference over?) I’ll tell you what it means. This means the pre-beginning of hockey something is starting in a little while from a little while from now!!!!!!
It’s time to start Richard Gereing up for the upcoming hockey fluurgaf;sdkfjsdf;eifaj;egn!!!!

Since we are already looking forward to something in the future I have an idea for the topic:

The Cory Clouston Fashion Review Magic Carpet Time Capsule Under the Sea: Part One of Until Some Interesting News Happens or the Season Starts and We Have More Stuff to Discuss (probably Goalie Controversy)!

– I figure they have to be stat based-ish so there is no lengthy wishy-washy debate over whether you were correct or not (sorry bros/blog).
– These have to be TEXA$ BOLD predictions so try to refrain from predictions like “Chris Phillips will have the fewest power play goals on the team”
– Maybe best to make them you know, regular season type predictions that we can follow not stuff like “Ben Blood will not be in the line up opening night” make it more like “Ben Blood will play more than ten games with the Ottawa club this season”
– Winner gets most of my spicy fries and tie goes to the honey garlic wings. No, how about winner gets a six of Japanese beer.  Suggestions? I personally love Japanese beer.

I suppose I will feed myself to the Lyons Club first.

1. Players who will get 20 plus goals this season please form a line to my left…m’kay let me take  attendance, Peter Jensen Regin –check… whoa not so fast Nick Foligno, Mike Fisher: I have been going back and forth on how I was going to sort this one out. I wanted to be TEXA$ BOLD and pick only one of these three to crack that for some reason elusive 20 goal mark (obviously I want them all to get 20 plus). I settled with Jensen Regin. I just have a gut feeling about his confidence and ice time with Alfie getting a little snow on the roof.  Foligno I think will come REAAAAALLY close with 15+ but not quite 20. Fisher, I expect to work his ass of as usual but now that the marital bed has been consummated he will not need to impress girls into marrying him and—haha just sort of kidding! I think Fishy will have a bit of a down season.

2. Senators will not take the North East. I just don’t think this one’s got the distance, Lenny. I didn’t want to start with a negative one but I thought since there is very little on the line here might as well have a curbed expectations prediction. I think that Boston will have a turn around regular season and will do battle with a slim centaur called Ryan Miller carrying the entire Buffalo roster on his back for top spot in the NE. Either that or Ottawa will be battling Boston, but they are my pick for tops with the Sens in position no. 2 or 3. Side note: I think Ottawa will continue to own the shit out of the Sabres.

3. Jason Spezza will respond to all that crap that we talked about in the summer and get his highest GOAL total of his career. According to Stats Canada that is 35 or more, Snookies. I think the way Spezza played in the post-all star break was something that was not lost on me. He became a scoring machine! I expect in year 2 of post Heatley my man will try his best to fill the void.

4. Pascal Leclair will start more than 41 games. I think we are far from out of the woods in terms of goalie tandemland (just east of Fabricland). I’m not predicting Leclaire to enshrine himself as starter at all nor am I saying how he will play BUT I think Clouston will give the base fulfillment of “giving him a decent shot at #1” by starting him in slightly more than half the games. OWWWWW! I just hurt my hand so bad knocking on a wood-like surface.

5. Ottawa will have more shootout victories than last year. This one is kind of suicide. I came up with one that I think was a lot more of a lock…but for the last time gentlemen this is TEXA$ BOLD. If my above prediction of LeClaire starting holds true…I believe I remember him being a pretty good shootout ‘tender. Oh god I think my hand is broken.

peter to me, James
show details 9:19 AM (6 hours ago)

Well these certainly are quite the heady prognostications. I like most of them with the excpetion of a few. To wit:

1. 20 goal men: Please ammend your list to include Kovalev, Alfredsson and Michalek as all should reach that plateau. Unless I misread your projection as only Regin would and Foligno and Fisher wouldn’t? I dunno, seems like the more pressing need would be to see those three players hit that mark since that’s like 90% of the offence.

2. I see the sens finishing second in the northeast and will battle Buffalo tooth and nail all season. Bonus melon-headed prediction: Ottawa wins every game at the Bell centre, deep in the heart of la belle province.

3. Sorry to burst your Spezza bubble but I see a down year for him, only fueling trade talk and ultimately becoming a distraction. I wouldn’t be surprised if this were his last year in Ottawa

4. This is where we differ the most. Agree to disagree but Pascale the Rascale is done as a Senator, I’m guessing he starts 25 games tops. He’s not consistent enough and if Ottawa manages to battle for the division, Clouston won’t take the chance. Bonus Melon-headed prediction: Mike Brodeur starts 10+ games with the big club.

5. I’ve decided to humor you on this one since I’ve no opinion on the Sens and their shootout skills one way or another. Like my Dad “watching” me play soccer I offer a hearty “good for you”, and “can we go home now?”

Super fantastic, intended to generate page views and not at all grounded in reality, bonus melon-headed prediction: Gonchar finishes top 3 in Norris voting

Conrad to James, peter
show details 9:46 AM (6 hours ago)


*Conrad pulls himself out from under a pile of lawn furniture*

Oh, hey.

Predictions that you could put $20 on

– Alfie scores at least 20 goals again, even though his games played total decreases by about 10 games – he’s been spookily consistent, though I get the feeling that we move the bar for him a little. In two seasons we’ll be saying “He scores at least 12 goals every year! That’s spookily consistent!”

– Erik Karlsson’s points total just about doubles from last year – first because everybody, including me, is positively high on him (Corvo must wonder why he never got this much benefit of the doubt) and second because with this change in gameplan to more shooting / greater offense Clouston’s gonna ride the kid at least 20 minutes a night (uh, what?)

– Regin’s goals scored increases by at least ten – see Karlsson, Clouston, riding, and add the fact that Murray hasn’t added another top 6 forward

– People still talk about Spezza getting traded, but he doesn’t for all the same reasons he didn’t get traded before his NTC kicked in (plus that)

-Murray gives up a pick or a prospect at the deadline for a veteran that the Sens have no intention of re-signing in the offseason
Murray announces that this will be his last year as GM and that his brother Tim Murray is taking over

Predictions that you could put your turn to do the dishes on

Kovalev has at least one game where he scores 4 goals. This will be the only time he scores in a two week period. But overall his scoring increases by around 5 goals to break the 20 goal mark. This gets him traded at the deadline

– Leclaire is hurt by November and out for the season – he’s an athletic goalie will all of the wrong kinds of injuries. I don’t think he can handle the wear anymore

– We only get about 30 games out of Gonchar

– Nick Foligno only plays marginally better than last year because he doesn’t break his leg at any point during the year, and is traded if the Sens fall out of playoff contention in what Murray hopes is an impact move to change the face of the roster dramatically

– Jared Cowen doesn’t make the team out of camp, but we get to see him play about 5-10 games. During his time here he gets at least one crazy hit in that makes everyone willing to wait another season for him to suddenly become a top 4 d-man though, in truth, he’s probably a couple of seasons away from cracking the lineup, which is fine

– I hate to say it, but the Sens come very close to missing the playoffs due to injuries

Predictions that you should only take if you have a gambling problem and your child hates you but you just need this one please lord just this one to work out and then you’re gonna do right by everybody

Spezza cracks 100 points because we get a full year out of Michalek

– Bobby Butler makes the lineup and scores 20 goals

– Ottawa introduces a new jersey with an O on the front and the black SENS jersey is outlawed forevermore

– One of the thousands of trade rumors involving Bobby Ryan or (and this one is crazy) Shea Weber comes true

– The Sens win the division



2 thoughts on “13.09.2010: In which we recommend that you buy Senators low and sell high in favor of a diversified energy portfolio

  1. Let me try!

    1. 20-goal scorers: Regin, Michalek, Spezza, Kovalev, Gonchar.
    2. Kovalev will score 60+ points in this contract year.
    3. Leclaire will not only play more than half the games, but will also be among the league’s top-ten in save percentage–but not goals-against average (have you seen Ottawa’s defence?).
    4. Ryan Shannon goes on the waiver wire to make room for Bobby Butler, who has a strong start but slows down as the season drags on.
    5. Erik Karlsson gets more than 15 goals, and more than 40 points.

    Super fantastic, intended to generate page views and not at all grounded in reality, bonus melon-headed prediction:

    Filip Kuba plays more than 75 games, and has his best season as an Ottawa Senator–statistically, and defensively.

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