Lame Day Preview: The Condrawa Freezing Rain Vs. The Florida is Not a City #HashTagJokes

Welcooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmme to this Lame Day Preview for tonight’s matchup (weird start..but…okay!)!

So lets get started with a few XXXXXXXXXXX Factors at work for tonights game:

Most importantly, the homesickness factor for Ottawa. As we all know, for professional athletes, and trust me I know all about that lifestyle having seen Jason Spezza run into Ryan Shannon at Winterlude one time and Nick Foligno at the airport another time, one of the hardest parts about the job is the ever grueling road trip. It is safe to say that it could serve as a distraction when the Sens arrive in Florida they will start missing the late winter freezing rain and disgusting slush daymare that is back home while suffering in 26 degree Sunrise, Forida A PLACE NAMED AFTER THE FUCKING SUN. God, Im sick of winter. Don’t let it get you down boys we are holding down the fort (fort = wet feet) here, you ARE missing out but try to focus on the pre game golf.

NeXt Faktor: Eric Condra.. This guy was ON last game. And a couple of games before that…If you don’t know this kid yet, he’s like Alex Kovalev but doesn’t wait dozens upon dozens of games to have a multi-goal performance. Oh, he also gives a damn that he is playing professional hockey!

Running Theme: I know we’re not supposed to get excited about anything during the rebuild but its pretty exciting that this guy has 6 points in 10 NHL games. It’s also been pretty exciting to see Super Condra and Bambino Butler get some decent points on the board now that they’ve been given some ice time down the garbage juice stretch that is the rest of the season. #thewordexciting

Whoa, my twitter(.tumblr.com) is BLOWING UP with countless requests of “#Can you please draw more weird correlations between Eric Condra and Alex Kovalev?”
I sure can.

Remember how Kovalev was traded for a 7th round pick and everyone (even me kind of…but moving on…) was super bummed out that it was a useless return? Yeh…guess who was a 7th round pick? Eric Condra …211th overall. Now, Im not saying let’s Pee-ter Regin-Jensen our pants over a guy who’s about to play his 11th game (I WILL have cups of hot urine thrown on me for that Regin joke) but it goes to show how positioning in the draft is important but ALSO that quantity of picks is a good thing too. The draft is a crap shoot right? So, might as well uhh…increase your odds of …shooting?…Crap? Is that a thing? Anyway, Alex Kovalev was frustrating. Ottawa has a lot of picks.

Craig Anderson gets the start for what, a month straight? Seems to be working out. Meanwhile, Curtis McElhinney takes over “12 year old boy sitting on the bench” duty from Brian Lee. Speaking of Lee…did anyone else notice recently grown ass man Brian Lee sleeping in a big boy bed against the Devils? He was kiiiiind of a beast out there! At the beginning of the season if you told me I would be saying stuff like “Brian Lee did a great job of shutting down Ilya Kovalchuk on Tuesday March 8th, 2011” I would have told you, “You are definitely a person who can predict the future and/or travel in time. Now, please now tell me what tomorrow’s lottery numbers are so I can win hundreds of dollars and stop bothering everyone/shaming my parents all the time with this blogging nonsense. Now, lets get in your time machine and go kill Hitler.” #TimeCopWinning

Oh speaking of twitter and sitting on the bench,  huge thanks to @REALFrancisLessardBookClub for this exclusive sound bite from the man himself on his progress with Dostoyevsky’s The House of the Dead “Character development has remained slow to say the least but if I hold fast with my patience, this could prove to be one of the most moving selections in #dostoysevsky’soeuvre
Hot MESS! Exclusive, exclusive! Lessard is the new #BizNastytwopointBRO!

Geez Louise, I cant believe I wrote this much for the second post trade deadline Florida-Ottawa game in three weeks.

Prediction Thing: Read a piece of press on Ryan Shannon making the most of his opportunity today. Last season when I read a piece of press on Ryan Shannon making the most of his opportunity he basically didn’t score for the rest of the year so. . . Ryan Shannon will not score. Prove me wrong, Ryan Shannon, Prooooooove meeeeeeee wrong!

LOTTOMAXESKOG UPDATE: Honestly, again, don’t worry about wins…Ottawa is doing TERRIBLE still. It’s just that the goalie doesn’t let in 6 goals every game now and people are scoring somewhat consistently. It just seems shocking because we’re still not used to that.

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