I'm Daniel Alfredsview and this is my son H.W. Karlsson.

 If you have a Sens take…and I have a Sens take…and I have a blog, there it is. That’s a blog you see. Are you watching? And my blog reaches ACROOOOOOOOOOOOOOSS the internet…and starts to drink your Sens take. I…drink…your…SENS TAKE. I DRINK IT UP!

Happy Thursday to all you grizzled 1870s prospectors out there,

Another glamorous day finds us gathered here to have a brief, friendly chat about Game 2 of Ottawa’s 38 game road trip to the majestic west .Breathe that West Edmonton Mall air. Ahhhhhhhh. One thing I was thinking about toward the end of Tuesday’s rumpus session against the Flambés was that I hoped they’d get rested up because they did a hell of a lot of skating in that game. That first period alone was a sprintfest. The youthful Oilers are not going to roll over at home either especially when looking to end a 3 game losing skid. With both teams desperate to win, albeit for different reasons, I think we could see a pretty great game.Colon and parenthesis to indicate happy face.

Persons of Interest:
Coming off his breakout starring role in the films “FUBAR” and “FUBAR 2” Ryan Smyth looks to “continue to keep on givin’r.” For a 35 year old who has been cross checked in the lower back around 5 billion times  Smyth looks rejuvenated out there and is on pace for a career year. Hopefully Phillips/Whoever can keep him out of the crease. Yadda yadda yadda Elberle/Hall/Creamy Nouget-Hopkins line stuff…those kids are good. Yikes. Obviously, watch out for those guys.  
Of note: Alesh Hemsky is currently between injuries and looks to be a very good hockey player who isn’t injured tonight. Speaking of injuries, keep your head up Stephane DaCosta as Andy Sutton’s elbow is at the exact height of where your nose is so…beeee carefulllllll. Magnus Ppaajjaarrvvii has one assist on the season and looks to take over being Bobby Butler while Bobby Butler looks carry on with his role as the new-old Bobby Butler. Its like a roller coaster of emotions up in here. Come on powerplay light my fire tonight! Person I’d LOVE to see score tonight: Jessie “Brad” Winchester. Ugh, gotta feel for that guy after hitting the post IN CLOSE on an open net. I will also settle, however, for any of the other Ottawa players scoring as well.

Battle of the Guys Who Enjoy Fast Motor Vehicles (some get caught driving them drunker than others… I’m obviously talking about the guy painted on Anderson’s Mask):
After a…let’s just call it an off season uhh, spent…at adult sleep away camp, badass name haver Nikolai Khabibulin has had an age defying, lights out start to the season. He’s been especially impressive given the so-so defensive corps he plays behind. Khabs (?) has a 4.00GAA in his last 2 and is looking to get his groove back with a big bounce back win.
Craig Anderson already had his bounce back game two games ago and looks to continue to bounce like a ball over lyrics on the karaoke screen of life. I know when Andy was signed it was talked about that he’s a goalie that likes to play a lot of consecutive games which is, you know,  nice but you could tell the guy was just burnt out in that loss to Buffalo. I hope that is not the case here as he will no doubt face a lot of rubber tonight and the Canucks are just around the corner so, just sayin’ – You guys, im a little worried about THAT game.

Does anyone else think after that Flames game that Colin Greening looks pretty damn injured right now…rest him up! Put Filatov in there while he —– SOUND OF RECORD SCREECHING Party goes silent

Sigh, okay, here it is…

I have a competition in me…unlike some people:
Hey girl, you hear from around the way about this whole Filatov mess?
GIRRRL, in a post-Yashin, post-Heatley paradigm, if Filatov wants to go back to Russia, honestly, get the fridge out. In fairness, if he just feels like it has been a rough go that past few years and this making the NHL thing isn’t going to work out and he wants to go play in (arguably) the world’s 3^rd best pro league that’s fine. On the other hand, if he is the enfant terrible he is repeatedly made out to be in the press (and by Columbus’ people), and wants to pack it in after not even two months just because? Take my business class cannon across the Atlantic. DarrenM over at Silverseven had a great article about how Filatov should take a page, AS WE ALL SHOULD, from the Book of Dogman. I agree with Darren but Dogman, for me, story-wise is a little bit more of a long shot that stuck with it and is finally seeing results. Maybe Filatov could learn a little something from Our Special Little Guy. Remember when high-pedigree Karlsson got reassigned to the AHL? Reports were* that Karlsson, still on a two-way entry deal btw, was so upset with his demotion that he shed tears in Bryan Murray’s office. So what did our Special Little Guy do? The guy I doubted would even make the NHL? He went down to Bingo, wore that ridiculous uniform, put up an undeniable point a game earned his call up and this February will play in his second all star game** in as many seasons. Has Filatov been given a decent shot? No, not yet, but if the kid cant handle working his ass off for a call up after a couple months, put him on a submarine back home. If we expect a team of youngsters to make the playoffs in a couple seasons, this is not the kind of mettle you want to see on the squad if that’s the plan. In all, I hope this whole situation works out for the best for all parties. It’s still early even as far as distracting controversies go.

Sportsnet Sens is broadcasting the game so enjoy not seeing it/ streaming it, everyone who isn’t a bar that gets every single channel on Earth!

*Cited elsewhere on the internet and in my memory

** #votespeciallittleguy

If this is anyone other than Super Mario, YOURE STEALING MY BIT!

Lets see here…..hockey…hoooockey…hoooooooooockeyyyyyyy…whoa sounds weird when you say it all slow like that…HHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh…

Anyway, Tuesday night is hockey night in Pencil-vania the OTHER Draculavania! Especially when it’s in Ottawa! Everyone following so far? This post is off to a 2011-2012 Ottawa Senators hot start.

So, going into tonight’s game there is a player whose name is being thrown around capital city a lot. I’m speaking of course about feisty young winger, Nail Yakupov. Okay, now boys and girls, lets all get on our lil tyke’s time out hot yoga mats and relax a little on this whole Yakupov thing for five minutes.Ottawa is just starting this rebuild. You know what else they are starting? The current season! I’m just saying. We’ve all been through a very long off season’s postulating from hockey experts (who all tend to LOVE AND BELIEVE IN the Ottawa Senators) that our boys in red, white, gold, black and occasionally off-white will be a lottomax team come spring. Okay okay, great, it’s a pretty safe bet we’ll be in the bottom 5. Also of note: there are still 77 games to watch and enjoy before that. I’m not saying the Sens aren’t going to be in the draft lotto. No, what I’m suggesting is that it might be helpful if there were a statue of limitations…or some other free standing structure of limitations on when Central Scouting can publish its draft rankings. Can these kids at least get a chance to sort themselves out till January or something before everything gets all “Derp for Daigle?”

Now look, I want the Sens to have a Ryan Ted Nugent-Sir Anthony Hopkins as much as the next Joe Insulted Reusable Lunch Container but I am also interested in what happens in the NHL in MID OCTOBER. Believe me, I am going to head out to the Top Nails Nail Spa presents Ottawa Civic Centre when the Sarnia Sting is in town to watch Herr Yakupov in action vs. our 67s. Yes, I will, just like I made it out last season for a delightful little ragamuffin named Gabriel Landeskog. Remember how satisfying it was when Ottawa drafted Gabriel Landeskog? Yeah. Good times? Great times. In the mean time I’m going to try to focus on DaCostco, Zibanejad, Cowen, Rundblad, you know…young players currently on Ottawa’s roster, many of whom still in the midst of their 9 game(!) try outs. Again, it was a long ass off season and I’m going to try at least “get into” the team I’ve been waiting to see play all summer, “Cuz it’s a long way to the bottom if you want a Yakupov” – I’m pretty sure a president of something said that in a dream once. Rome wasn’t rebuilt in a sdfjkl;gdf. Let’s get to tonight’s thing!

The battle of Milli vs. Vanilli: In net tonight goalie people cared about for 5 minutes Sergei Bobrovsky takes on Alex Auld. I’m sure Alex Auld played for Philadelphia at some point of his career and would like to show his old teamma- WHAT HE HASN’T?! Well, there goes that storyline. Im sure he played for the Winnipeg Jets at some point and I can just use that story for the next game *dusts off hands* One thing that is guaranteed twixt the Philly pipes tonight is that we wont be seeing Bobby Butler put another absolute beauty past Bobrovsky as Bobby B is out with a pulled bathing suit area. I think I just broke the “B” and “O” keys on my keyboard with that last sentence . So yeah blah blah blah goaltenders.

Special Little Guy Watch: Did anyone see Erik Karlsson making Alexander Ovechkin his stepnephew who’s name he can’t remember all game long on Saturday? I think Adnan over at Silver Seven had it right that his game against Washington might have been his best yet in terms of defensive play. With the likes of Claudius Giroux, Jaromir “I still occasionally forget he’s back in the NHL again” Jagr, Dany “That’s not how you spell Danny, dum dum” Briere and Jymz Vyn Ryms Dyk, The Stockholm Slickback and his defensive cronies will certainly have their work(s?) cut out for them. Ottawa’s D fared very well against an offensive dynamo in Washington so…oh quick question from the audience, what’s that? How did it go against Colorado? I …uh…Moving on!

With just one W on the season, Ottawa has thus far demonstrated that they will likely lose tonight’s game the question is HOW will they lose? Third period multigoal comeback to make it interesting? Spirited “this could go either way” one goal loss? Death by goal called off (does any team get more disallowed goals than Ottawa btw)? Coloradoesque shitestorm? The loss is their oyster!

Puck drop is scheduled for the beginning of the game. Enjoy!

One does not simply walk into Detroit!

Well, it turns out that Paulie MacLean conveniently forgot to return his key to the Joe, so maybe that’s exactly what we do.

Detroit is still considered the standard of excellence for the league despite the fact that they, like almost every other team, rely on their superstars and are completely boned next year when Lidstrom is gone. The Senators have been picked by absolutely everyone, including most Sens blogs, to finish dead last in the league. Paul MacLean is quoted as saying that he hopes he’s not scared to death tonight, and Foligno says he hopes they can rally, apparently unaware that before the game starts the score is usually set at 0-0, and so there’s no need to rally from anything.

All of this to say that the 2011-2012 season, and especially the games against teams from the Western conference, are a bit like trekking into Mordor. And our Sens have nothing but their hairy feet to guide them. (Also, these days, Detroit is a little bit like Mordor for real. #jokesabouttherecession)

But you know what? Fuck all that noise. It’s a new season, and there will be plenty of time over the next 82 games to take long sobering looks at the 2012 draft. It’s the first game of the season, I have eight tallboys in my fridge that I have no intention of sharing, Foligno just turned up the Tragically Hip in the dressing room because he’s never had very good taste in music, and Filip Kuba is going to score a hat-trick tonight. Go Sens!

Keys to victory:

1) MacLean knows all of Babcock’s tricks. One of them is “play Pavel Datsyuk, Henrik Zetterberg, Nicklas Lidstrom, and Johan Franzen about 20 minutes each.” Urm…that’s a hard one to counter, actually.

2) Do what Pierre McGuire says you should do, even if it doesn’t make any sense. If I’m interpreting this list of things he says correctly, that means take your penis out and wave it around at the other team.

3) Tell Craig Anderson to make 47 saves tonight. Self explanatory.

Welcooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmme to this Lame Day Preview for tonight’s matchup (weird start..but…okay!)!

So lets get started with a few XXXXXXXXXXX Factors at work for tonights game:

Most importantly, the homesickness factor for Ottawa. As we all know, for professional athletes, and trust me I know all about that lifestyle having seen Jason Spezza run into Ryan Shannon at Winterlude one time and Nick Foligno at the airport another time, one of the hardest parts about the job is the ever grueling road trip. It is safe to say that it could serve as a distraction when the Sens arrive in Florida they will start missing the late winter freezing rain and disgusting slush daymare that is back home while suffering in 26 degree Sunrise, Forida A PLACE NAMED AFTER THE FUCKING SUN. God, Im sick of winter. Don’t let it get you down boys we are holding down the fort (fort = wet feet) here, you ARE missing out but try to focus on the pre game golf.

NeXt Faktor: Eric Condra.. This guy was ON last game. And a couple of games before that…If you don’t know this kid yet, he’s like Alex Kovalev but doesn’t wait dozens upon dozens of games to have a multi-goal performance. Oh, he also gives a damn that he is playing professional hockey!

Running Theme: I know we’re not supposed to get excited about anything during the rebuild but its pretty exciting that this guy has 6 points in 10 NHL games. It’s also been pretty exciting to see Super Condra and Bambino Butler get some decent points on the board now that they’ve been given some ice time down the garbage juice stretch that is the rest of the season. #thewordexciting

Whoa, my twitter(.tumblr.com) is BLOWING UP with countless requests of “#Can you please draw more weird correlations between Eric Condra and Alex Kovalev?”
I sure can.

Remember how Kovalev was traded for a 7^th round pick and everyone (even me kind of…but moving on…) was super bummed out that it was a useless return? Yeh…guess who was a 7^th round pick? Eric Condra …211^th overall. Now, Im not saying let’s Pee-ter Regin-Jensen our pants over a guy who’s about to play his 11^th game (I WILL have cups of hot urine thrown on me for that Regin joke) but it goes to show how positioning in the draft is important but ALSO that quantity of picks is a good thing too. The draft is a crap shoot right? So, might as well uhh…increase your odds of …shooting?…Crap? Is that a thing? Anyway, Alex Kovalev was frustrating. Ottawa has a lot of picks.

Craig Anderson gets the start for what, a month straight? Seems to be working out. Meanwhile, Curtis McElhinney takes over “12 year old boy sitting on the bench” duty from Brian Lee. Speaking of Lee…did anyone else notice recently grown ass man Brian Lee sleeping in a big boy bed against the Devils? He was kiiiiind of a beast out there! At the beginning of the season if you told me I would be saying stuff like “Brian Lee did a great job of shutting down Ilya Kovalchuk on Tuesday March 8^th, 2011” I would have told you, “You are definitely a person who can predict the future and/or travel in time. Now, please now tell me what tomorrow’s lottery numbers are so I can win hundreds of dollars and stop bothering everyone/shaming my parents all the time with this blogging nonsense. Now, lets get in your time machine and go kill Hitler.” #TimeCopWinning

Oh speaking of twitter and sitting on the bench,  huge thanks to @REALFrancisLessardBookClub for this exclusive sound bite from the man himself on his progress with Dostoyevsky’s The House of the Dead “Character development has remained slow to say the least but if I hold fast with my patience, this could prove to be one of the most moving selections in #dostoysevsky’soeuvre”
Hot MESS! Exclusive, exclusive! Lessard is the new #BizNastytwopointBRO!

Geez Louise, I cant believe I wrote this much for the second post trade deadline Florida-Ottawa game in three weeks.

Prediction Thing: Read a piece of press on Ryan Shannon making the most of his opportunity today. Last season when I read a piece of press on Ryan Shannon making the most of his opportunity he basically didn’t score for the rest of the year so. . . Ryan Shannon will not score. Prove me wrong, Ryan Shannon, Prooooooove meeeeeeee wrong!

LOTTOMAXESKOG UPDATE: Honestly, again, don’t worry about wins…Ottawa is doing TERRIBLE still. It’s just that the goalie doesn’t let in 6 goals every game now and people are scoring somewhat consistently. It just seems shocking because we’re still not used to that.

So, lets get hyyyyyyyyyyyyyyped!!!!!!!!!! This morning, between HI-LAR-I-OUS jokes about boobs (probably) by “Jungle” Jim (GREAT NAME FOR AN ADULT!) on Team 1200, the other guy (what am I? MADE of knowing stuff about terrible radio? Note: I’m working on it) attempted to get a preview of tonight’s game Vs. the Devils going with the much more palatable morning version of future Sens GM Pierre McGuire. McGuire really got the fanbase worked into a frenzy of excitement by forecasting a game for ‘Ottawa fans who just want to get a look at the prospects and hardcore New Jersey fans’ *AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRHORRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!!!!!!!!!!* COME ON FEEL THE NOIIIIIIIIIIIISE GIIIIIIIIIIIRLS (happy International Womyns day btw) GET READY FOR SOME AHL PLAYERS AGAINST A STIFLING TRAP SYSTEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY WANT MOOOOORE MOOOOOORE MOOOOOOOOOORE CUZ THE BRUUUUUIN’S ARE NOT BORING ENOOOOOOOUGH!!! *blistering guitar solo*

Whew, I need a second to come down. . . wow. Can someone get me a High C and Vodka or something?  

I mean, Im going to watch the game and all… but definitely with other stuff going on (Laundry Live Blog?) When was the last time you played Scrabble? Do you know how to play cribbage? Its pretty fun. Check it out!!!!!!!!!

Pleasant surprise Colin Greening draws into the line up so that’s a thing that’s happening. As for other AHL call up news, the votes have been tallied and its official the next Dostoyevsky novel that Francis Lessard will read is going to be… THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD! OHHHHH SNAP!! An upset victory over the heavily favored Notes From Underground! Francis thanks you for all your votes and promises he should be done soon.  H/T to @REALfrancislessardbookclub for the tip!

 New Jersey looks to win their fifth straight against Les Boys as they are sizzling hot and rising in the Eastern standings

Smooth Jimmy’s Science Korner: Sizzling hot and rising in the Eastern standings is completely independent from playing a remotely entertaining brand of hockey.

Prediction Thing: I will follow through on my plans to drink Caesars with Steven during the game, Spezza scores a goal, Caesar stains fail to show on my red Sens jersey.

HEY BORTS FANS!

Tonight our beloved Senators (still okay to belove them during the rebuild? Get at me about that) take on the sometimes really good sometimes not so good Thrasherz of Hotlantapeg.

Let’s get straight to the X factors* of this game!     

*really? X Factors? What am I future Sens GM and Microphone hand always showing stanley cup ring on TV personality Pierre McGuire?

For Atlantis: I saw highlights on TSN of the game the other night twixt the Thrashers and the Canadiens and HOT MESS the one hundred section wasn’t even a quarter full. I am not kidding. Note to Atlanta Ushers: move all the people in the building to where to camera can see – this includes vendors – hell, fill a seat yourself. Also another  Hot Tip:  Shoot the game with video cameras that were made in the last 30 years.
There is a real possibility of the Thrashers being distracted by people actually watching them perform the iced hockeys. So, fans at the game be loud and proud and try to out cheer all the Thrashers fans that infiltrate the arena. What else?…Oh, Dustin Byfuglien (pronounced By-Fug-Lee-Ehn) is currently challenging Metro Detroitland Area octogenarian Knickerbocker “Nic” Lidstrom for the Norris trophy…so I don’t know? Gelp when Atlanta gets a power play or 10?

For HOTTawa (we’re Canada’s HOTlanta….you know…minus the Hot…part): Two words: Craig “Greg” Anderson! These stats speak themselves six goals in five games. Pretty good numeros for a goaltender wearing an Ottawa Senators jersey. Now…
X factor 2, should ‘Andy’ (copyright, CCFR) stand on his ugly new mask, can the Sens score one goal? Jus’ playin yall. I find it was really hyped how the Sens were shut out 1-0 last game but I think the Bearenstein Borin’s are a bit of a special case – You guys snore your way to a cup New Jersey style! – If the Thrash (copyright, CCFR) play anywhere near how I think they do (note: I honestly find it painful to know anything about this team…) the Sens should be able to open it up a bit and score on whoever their goalie is – what im like Bob Cole I just call them “The Goalie” also like Bob Cole I am TERRIBLE at covering hockey. If Bobby Butler scores tonight (during the game, pervs) … I will take your advice and throw myself in blogger jail (which is a real thing) FOREVER!

Larsen Lottomax Update: An Oilers win and a Sens loss puts the Senators in dead last in the NHL which I am still adjusting to feeling good about.

Some funny talk around the camp fire about how the Sens are effing up their Lottamax pick because they are doing so great now…ONE win in January and what? four wins in February don’t worry bro/sis, Im pretty sure five wins in two months goes a long way come daft day.
God(.com), I thought as fans our job was to be patient during the rebuild…i mean I don’t definitely want to go off on a rant here but pump your breaks cousin(s) in a little under a month Murray deals Fisher, Kelly, Ruutu, Kovalev, Elliot and Campoli and everyones all “WHERES THE KUBA TRADE!?, WHERES THE GONCHAR TRADE!?” Easy, eaaaaasy. Look at Kuba, guy has been a shadow of of a shadow of an icingless toaster strudel since coming back from a broken leg and has less than 10 points going into March. Gonchar, coming off injury today and back into the grind chipping away at a career worst season..oh at a significant raise from last year…yeah maybe I can see why these guys werent moved –  for term alone I could see GMs passing. That or offering something that would piss you off like you were pissed off seeing Kovy moved for…but then double that. Speaking of Kovalev, its unlikely he would have moved if he were not a rental and was having a much better season than barf of the other two guys. Maybe it happens next season…maybe it doesn’t happen. Maybe Francis Lessard scores 4 goals tonight. . . I’m just a human man. . . made of flesh and stuffed with shredded Chinese newspapers. M’kay

LETS TALK ABOUT THE GAME!
So the Boston Things come to town for what feels like the 60^th time this season. But THIS time…uhh… I don’t know, Local Millionaire Chris Phillips will be … enjoying a new contract?
Also, Chris Kelly will be in attendence for the newly minted Monthly Chris Kelly Bowl! Will Kelly defeat his former team or will blah blah blah !? !!! ??!? Tune in literally every month to find out!
At least we wont have to watch Kovalev not underperform against his former clubs anymore. That guy was …frustrating. #amIrightfriends?youguysknowwhatimtalkingabout!
We have the potential to see an interesting game as thanks to some first period Wiccan Warcraft (.tumblr.tv) by Craig Anderson last game, the Sens were able to regroup and put together a decisive victory against the East leading Flyers. If the boys can play like that again, it could potentially piss a lot of people off in comment sections. Now that I’ve alienated a lot of people, ENJOY THE GAME! …or like…don’t…I’m confused as to whether we’re supposed to enjoy games now. Either way … people are RICH, right?



Hailing from the city of Florida, the Panthers arrive in town to face off against the Ottawa Senators in the always spiritual Battle of the Deadline Sellers.angelfire.tv
For me I think the wild card is former Florida goaltender Craigory Anderson facing off against his former team. Always gives a goaltender a little chip on their
shoulder thinking back to all those humiliating strip shootout sessions. Or maybe it wont? I don’t know I’m all used to this team not living up to any pregame
billing like “OooooOOooo Kovalev faces off against the Habs!, Result: 0Gs, 0As, – 2” or “ooOOoooOOOo Gonchar playing the Penguins, Result: 0Gs, 0As, -3 (stats courtesy
of me making them up but you feel me, right?.com ) but yeah, I’m still getting used to that whole game going to a shootout and the Sens winning the thing so it would seem the more we know the less
we know with this here caper. Maybe Cheechoo finally bags his…whats that?..oh in the AHL now…well speaking of AHL, Jim “Conan” O’Brien fills in for Peter “Regin” Jensen…Ive heard conflicting things about Campoli playing THAT’S THE CCFR DIFFERENCE!
Is anyone else as excited as I am about the Michalek (who’s name I just had to look up the spelling of…why was I given a password to this blog?) – Spezza – Butler combo?
I must say there’s some excitement in that for the remainder of the season these guys could be a first line that hopefully wont be broken up …well, that is unless they don’t score 2 goals by the first intermission, like Clousty, baby, the team’s in 15^th place…give them a minute to gel, I mean you give your hair a minute to gel and that is obviously working so, you know, try to apply that gel to other facets of the game.
Lame day predictions: Clouston rocks a FEIRCE Pumpkin spice shirt Autumn Mist tie combo, gels hair. Kovalev nets one as his point production reconstructive surgery will only hold until Monday.

Conrad buying Bobby Butler jersey watch: I would LOVE to see the kid pot another one tonight!

HEYYYYYY BOYS! LETS WIN ONE FOR THE PEOPLE WHO SPENT MONEY AND ATTENDED THE GAAAAAAME! Seriously…win the game for those people.