BREAKING NEWS! TSN.CA USES “CAPITAL GAINS” AS SENS/CAPS RELATED HEADLINE FOR LANDMARK 25,000th TIME!!!

Digging DEEP!

The Staff at TSN has taken time out of their busy schedule of writing about what Brian Burke dreamt about once to come up with this ABSOLUTE ZINGER of a headline for a record 25, 000th time! CONGRATS ALL OF US! I never thought I would injure my hands from golf clapping but seriously…feels like I have a sunburn as I type this. YOWCH! Oh…just getting a telecopy here from a reader…sorry a little hard to read as it looks like it was written with expired chipotle mayo… I think it says, “Me No Understanding”  Well, gentle reader I’ll explain: By signing this player m’kay, the KAPITAL city (Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, North America, Earth)’s professional hockey organization has GAINED…m’kay, m’kay follow me?…an asset.

Look, as a person who doesn’t understand the pressures of pandering toToronto fans writing DAILY about –Toronto and occasionally the other Canadian teams NHL hockey in the summer for a ravenous, ravenous  readership, I accept I look a bit like a jerk here. I know it’s a bit unfair to pick at the overuse of a terrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrible pun but good gravy I have seen this old grey mare trotted out for virtually every signing the Senators or Washington Capitals have made since the twitternet was invented 2 years ago. Anyway, is it JULY or is it JULY!? Great post, me! Sound off in the comment section about what pun YOU would have used to celebrate the signing of who is it again…let me just cheeeeeeeck tsn.ca/nhl like a jerrrrk …right! What pun would YOU have used to zellerbrate the signing of Mark Parrish to his two way contract? I suppose I will contribute, PARRISH THE THOUGHT OF SIGNING MARK PARRISH OTHER NHL TEAMS! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (I’m including the “Boom” part in my headline)  

By the way, for all my biting the hand that feeds moaning about the disproportionate amount of stories written about Toronto compared to all of the other Canadian teams put together, I must give credit where credit’s due giving the lead story to the a two way Senators signing that even a bored fan like me doesn’t give a crap about!

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