Exciting times in Palookaville. So let’s look at next season!

With the Sens suddenly not stinking anymore, you’re easily forgiven for neglecting the reason 29 fan bases follow hockey: thinking of next season. (Especially when “next year” doesn’t necessarily mean daydreaming about Yakupov.) The team’s competitive for now, and winning in an entertaining fashion. Obviously I’m making all sorts of trips to the Wine Rack for my daily dose of Iniskillen Iced Wine and totally paying for my Senators Sportsnet Digipak Bonus (Not Free) Content legally.

But here’s the thing: if the team ends up more competitive than we thought it would be (whoa whoa WHOA, I just said “more competitive”…not “competitive”), and they already have all this cap space, there are some exciting scenarios for next season.

It’s Friday so obviously I’m on Cap Geek. And I notice, first, that the team has about $12,500,000 in cap space already, which is, you know, sort of crazy. (Also crazy: Dallas is competitive with the lowest payroll in the league. Columbus has the fourth highest eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeshsorryguys.)

But then, check it out: there’s just under $2,500,000 coming off the books just in buy-outs. Cheechoo. Emery. Alfredsson. (So glad we bought out that bum.) That’s a whole, real, corporeal player in exchange for nebulous bills. Or two Konopkas.

I sent out a Tweet asking if anyone would consider re-signing Kuba considering his strong play this season, and to sweeten the deal I posited a scenario in which he accepts less money and years. Say…about the $2.5M we just saved on buyouts. The completely scientific results of that Twitter poll (which, by the way…. @wtyky) indicated that 175% of respondents would not re-sign him. (Margin of error of + / – 200%) Hm. Well then. I guess that’s another $3,700,000 in space.

Then you’ve got Carkner, Winchester, Lee and Konopka who, for the sake of argument, let’s say aren’t coming back. Another cool $3,025,000.

Murray has got to re-sign Karlsson. (FOR LIFE, BTW.) That’s a subject for another many dozens and hundreds of posts. (If there’s anything I learned from being notified 10,000 times that that Mika Zibanejad had been sent back to the SEL, it’s that we’re all on the same page when it comes to discussion topics.) But let’s just split the difference between the low and high ends of potential salary and say he makes $4,000,000 a year. We’ll say Da Costa, Regin, and Foligno come back for about the same amount. We’ll also assume Papa Alfie stays in house, and lets the Sun columnists tell him who should live in his basement for one more year. We’ll also assume a few new youngins come into the fold. Let’s also assume we remember Filatov is alive.

That gives this team around $18,000,000 in cap space. Or over a quarter of the entire cap. Which is absolutely nutty. $2M more cap space than the lowest payrolled team in the league right now.

My point being: 

  1. We should probably seriously look at re-signing Kuba, especially if he’ll take a paycut and sign for a year or two without a No Trade Clause. I know he’s frustrating. I’ve been right there with you, throwing my chicken wings into a child’s face with frustration. But he can play 20+ minutes a night, and this is a young team, and c’mon guys. Just c’mon. He’s not that expensive. Maybe we can teach him to throw his size around! Just kidding. But think about where you’re gonna put your Kuba hate if he finishes the season with 35 points and a plus rating.
  2. There are some seriously exciting players up as UFAs. Not a ton of them, and of course Zach Parise AND Alex Semin will somehow both end up on the Rangers after they bury Brad Richards in the Latvian Mediocre Excellence Brigade. But there’s those two, Ryan Suter, Willie Mitchell, Mikhail Grabovski, and of course a whole slew of Misfit Toys willing to take on cheap contracts just because no one else wants them (helloooooo Lee Stepniak). Murray might actually be in the enviable position, now known as The Tallon, of having to spend to get to the cap floor. This team can have a major shot in the arm next year, and so long as Murray signs players to short contracts to keep room for the necessary re-signings, this team’s in great shape. 
  3.  Yakupov-Schmakupov.
  4. This is a chance for Melnyk to re-coup some losses. (Which, you know, I’m not entirely convinced about.) This is also a chance for the team to reinvest. Scoreboard. Cheaper concessions. More ticket deals. Let’s get a foam finger on all of those kids’ hands. (Though thanks for the pin during the home opener, that was nice.)

More thoughts on last night’s victory…

Hey Everybody, could that game last night have been any more KICK BUNS?

Some pictorial musings for your viewing pleasure…

What's awesome with this picture?

Did anyone else catch this former Montreal fan ABSOLUTELY losing his shit on the DaCosta goal? This guy is your Frank D’Angelo Presents Cheetah Power Surge Brain and Nerve Tonic Presents WTYKY First Star of the Game. Welcome to the Brother and Sisterhood of Ottawa Senators Fans. Also, please change your shirt as quickly as possible, there is a strict dress code policy against tattered rags.

Sonya, Johnny Cage, Foligno, Raiden, Scorpion, Sub Zero, Frank D'Angelo...

  Goal Jesus finally repaid professional hockey player and local event shower upper Nick Foligno for all his effort with a beautious goal last night. The guy has put in the effort required for about 15 goals so far this season but always seems to come up short. If Goal Jesus (.com) feels it is part of His devine plan to bestow upon Foligno one MEGAGOAL (trademark) every ten games who are we to mess with the universe?

Holy Kristmas is this team more fun to watch than last years! What can I say, I love these Shaemuses in short pants. FOUR IN A ROW!

James Day Preview: Florida Whateverblades vs. Ottawa DaCostcos

I did NOT add that moustache

Welcome Sens Clams!

Before we get started some BREAKING NEWS:
So, by now you may have seen that incredible photo dug up by member of @WTYKY NATION! and Peter Regin crush haver @ldots13 of Rundblad, Karlsson and Zibanejad dressed up as The Doobie Brothers for Halloween on David’s Rundblog. But that, gentle reader, is not why you come here. No, you come to Welcome To Your Karlsson Years for the story BEHIND the story. Sure, we are all, each and every last one of us, happy and excited about those Hallow’s Ween costumes. That’s clear. Did you know, dear friendo, that in addition to being an offensive defenseman, fancy hair haver, riverboat gambler and handsome gadabout about Skelleftea he is a BEAT POET. Yes, all one has to do is cut and paste some of David’s blog posting  work into google translate and BOOM the Kerouacian beat poetry just leaps right off the page. Let me lay this hep poem taken right off his blog from google translate on you daddio/mommio…

-Dim the lights. *Walking jazz bass line and bongos by candle in bohemian night club*

Pocket books
When my birthday, it was something new.
Now I’ll be book mart. Street Smart – book mart,
It was a heated discussion
A few years ago in the locker room.

What is best to be?

The person in question
claimed that
street smart
Was best for when it gets on the street
But also argued
That it would fare at least as well
At a national university,
Only he
Had more time.
Street smart
Might not be
Such a bad thing
Anyway.

*blows out candle*

Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig. Cool man cool. Reeeeeaaaal Melvin. Heavy stuff.

So yeah, jazz game night? With Mika Zibanejad being returned to DirtGarden of the SEL (we’ll miss you Mikachu!) and the collar tug inducing injury to Peter Regin’s pile of shattered glass above his arm, the line up is wide open going forward. Its about to look REBUILDY up in here. Stephane DaCosta will get a look at 2nd line centre tonight twixt Alfredsson and Foligno. I don’t expect miracles from the kid but I think he’ll do a lot better in that role and hopefully can get the haters off his back with a solid performance tonight. Even if he has defensive deficiencies, it’s not exactly a high pressure year and the Sens are performing above expectations, let the kid fly a little out there! I mean…Spezza has been defensively responsible for like half a year and he’s in his 9th season! Alfie’s on his wing and we all know, Papa Alfie will take care of everything! ….Right guys? Uhhhh…Moving ON!

Battle of Blade III’s (on DVD): Craig Anderson gets another start and why not? Hot shots always play the hot pockets. Right? That’s how that goes. Absolutely a saying.
Anderstud *rolls eyes at self* is coming off his best performance of the three game winning streak in Carolina. A couple of heartbreaking goals got past him late sure but without Andy the Sens would have been right out of that contest after the first period. In fact, if Anderson didn’t pitch a shut out for about three quarters of that game things could have gotten STEVE MASONY up in that piece and NO ONE wants that. Also, is anyone else getting a little more steely watching shootouts? Our man is NAILS in those things. I still have a few years of trauma to work off but if Andy can hold it down like he’s doing could make for a welcome change of thinking “well at least we got one point” when OT runs out.
For the Big Cats (not to be confused with David Rundblad’s poetry group of the same name) Swedish rookie Jacob Markstrom is unbeaten in his last 2 starts and is boasting a Khabibulin blood alcohol levelesque 0.75 (GAA) in his last two. Not much is known about Markstrom other than he was touted as “The best little goaltender in alllll the outside the NHL land” for a while. Well, now he’s IN the NHL and seems to be living up to his billing. Im telling you, Florida could surprise this year. Lord knows they could use it…just not tonight.

What else? Kaspars Daugavins THE DOGMAN DOGMAN DOGMAN DOGMAN looks to do the Bartman all over Florida’s stupid faces (and I think we can agree that their faces are pretty stupid) in his 3rd NHL game. Though held off the score sheet 30 Helens agree that his game against the Canes had the inspired tenacity that we expected.
Would love to see Rundblog get some Power Play time tonight …because…I dont know, I’m all about Rundblad today?

Speaking of stupid faces: Can Spezza take over Kessel’s NHL scoring lead already…keep that guy off of TV.

Poll Question:
What is more awkward:
– Your boss telling racist joke (about the race of someone who is listening and/or you)  at work party
– Phil Kessel in pre/post game media scrum

Player hate with us Join us  in the comment section!

Join us on twitter for out DRIVE FOR 38 FOLLOWERS campaign!!!!!!!!

Now we’re rolling

Zenon Robokopka 
A few stats to consider:
  • Ottawa only had three giveaways last night to seven takeaways.
  • Craig Anderson: .941% SP, perfect in the shootout. Exactly what we need from him: bail the team out when it’s shitting the bed, just BE SOLID when they’re not.
  • Gonchar looked effective, and played about 21 minutes, compared to 27 (!) for Karlsson and Kuba. Maybe we’ve unlocked the secret of Gonchar’s effectiveness: just don’t play him as much. BONUS FACT: Gonchar to Konopka will literally never happen again.
  • Ottawa has the No. 1 powerplay in the league: 31.2% (Their PK is second last in the league but SHUT UP.)
  • The standings always look weird so early in the season, but ONE POINT OUT OF A PLAYOFF SPOT. If we get there I’m taking a screenshot and making it my avatar for the rest of the season then never watching another game.
  • Spezza is 2nd in league scoring, Michalek is 4th in goals scored, and Dany Heatley can suck an egg.
  • Stephane Da Costa played eight minutes last night. At one point they panned to him on the bench and he was reading Owl Magazine. (In French, of course. “Revue Hibou.”)
  • This is not only Ottawa’s first road win of the season, it’s the first time they beat a real team this season. No offense Winnipeg and Columbus, but…wait, offense, actually.
  • Paul MacLean patted players on the back and was just generally likeable 247 times last night.
  • Carolina had an announced attendance of just over 12,000. If this happened in Ottawa we’d have to read a thousand editorials about how wonky the market is.
  • Did you know that Joni Pitkanen and Eric Staal both got about four minutes of powerplay time? Four minutes! That’s enough time to build a deck out there.
  • QUESTION: if Ottawa reaches .500, will we still have to read about how “lowly” Ottawa is every time they’re mentioned by a non-Senators blog? The “lowly Senators” who are “destined for last place” and other such burps, are above lowly Boston, Montreal and Nashville in the standings, and tied with San Jose and the Rangers.
  • Spezza made this face exactly 400 too few times last night. He looks like “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan:

James Day Preview: Raleigh “Let’s Get Tropical!” Storms vs. Ottawa Decisions

How can you NOT go with this picture?

Ladies and Gentlemen, once again with feeeeeeeeeling, LETS GET TROPICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!
Very excited about tonight’s game for some reason!
I could be wrong but don’t the Hurricanes hand the Sens their asses a lot of the time? I seem to remember being very mad Jussi Jokinen, Tuomo Ruutu and Joe Corvo a bunch of times over the past few seasons. You never know whats going to happen though as our boys tend to beat up on the Flyers and we all know how THAT just went.
“That’s why they have them play the games, that’s whyyyyyyyyyyy they have them plaaaaaaay the games” – Jonathan Taylor Thomas Tinks
For me, I think it’s New Players, New coach, New Whathaveyou. Forever Heritage White. All In. All Off White.
I try not to get too caught up in the long term records between teams, I mean, what am I doing here? Following a hockey team or simulating a season of NHL 12 for my Atari Jaguar?

Battle of the Bambinos: So, you may have heard this already but something-something Mika Zibanejad only has 9 wishes remaining before he glerpdeederps back to Switzerland. Personally, I think our boy is getting sent back but I wouldn’t diarrhea my pants if they kept him. One thing I am sure about is that I would absolutely LOVE to see him score one tonight. It would be great for morale to just to get that monkey off his back regardless of whether he sticks or sails.
On the other side Jeff “Guy Who Everyone Uses as an Example for Keeping an 18 Year Old Rookie Around When Talking About Zibanejad” Skinner leads a Raleigh team that has Eric Staal, Juicy Jokinen and a bunch of other people who should probably be ahead of him in scoring on it. Yipes, kid continues to impress. Should be fun to get the opportunity to watch him as you KNOW you cant be bothered to watch a Hurricanes game otherwise. Fun Faktt: Eric Staal is a team worst minus 10 right now.

Battle of the Star Galacticas: Cam Ward, the Eric Staal of goalies – as in very, very good player that is no one’s favorite player, squares off against Craig Granderson. Ward is enjoying a typically solid season with a 2.81GAA – and despite being on a pretty whatev’s squadron is rocking a Skeelo-In-1995-Hot 1.94GAA/.948PCT in his last two games. Anderson, along with his teammates, is enjoying a two game unbeaten streak, BUT as former Vice President Guy From Smashmouth once said, “all that glitters aint gooOOooOoooOold*” as Anderson did not exactly steal those games and was bailed out on some inconsistent play. Will only shooting stars break the mold (wtf is that guy on about?) or will Tomas Kaberle capitalize on the fact that he looks like a cartoon? Only time will tell.

Achilies Heel Watch: For Ottawa, Daddy Alfredsson will be noticeably absent tonight. Though he hasn’t been jazzhanding up the scoresheet per se, anyone who’s been watching the Sens play consistently knows that Herr Papa is often straw that stirs the defensively sound mocktail. Whiiiiich is still completely terrifying considering his age. Get well overnight soon! I am looking for the quietly-doing-pretty-well-so-far Colin Greening or Eric Condra (the OTHER Colin Greening) to pick up the slack while Alfredsson rests and he and wife Bibi (real name) make catty comments while watching the “Say Yes to the Dress” marathon.
For Carolina: Centre Zac(k) Dalpe will be out of the lineup and do you know what that meaaaaaans? No, really if you know what that means please let us know in the comment section. Does anybody follow this team? Ugh, so boring, it pisses me right off that they’ve won the cup. “I’M JUST SAYING WHAT YOURE ALL THINKING!” – Psychics

Comic Relief: Is there a more likeable guy on Binghamton than Francis Lessard Kaspars Daugavins? I mean sure his name sounds made up but anyone who successfully spot kicks his stick over the boards after a goal in an actual game where their coach is watching gets a lifetime pass from me. I like most fans I thought Nikita Filatov was the logical depth call up but with this being Dogman’s self imposed last spot kick at the NHL before heading back to his home and native Latvia (the OTHER Lithuania!) he’s due to get his shot at the big dance. As a shifty little bulldog of a man with great hands and a responsible two way game I think The Rooster will impress during his call up. I wish him great success with this exciting opportunity! Shame on you for not wishing him luck with this exciting opportunity!
Watch Daugavins do something absolutely amazing while simultaneously causing his coach to have a daymare here. Puck drop is at 7pm so that will explain why people are leaving early a half hour early. Enjoy!

*You’re welcome for having that song in your head now. Bet you’re feelin pretty dumb with your finger AND your thumb in that shape of on “L” on your forehead.

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October 25 2011 Roundtable of Darkness: Zbad edition

 

As everyone in the NHL knows and is currently losing sleep over I’m sure, Ottawa Senators sixth overall pick Mika Zibanejad will play his ninth NHL game tonight. Which means that if he plays any more games the first year of his entry-level contract kicks in, regardless of how many more games he plays. Bryan Murray, looking at his deep, deep stable of 2nd line centers (uhh…) must now decide what is best for the 18 year old. Send him back to the Swedish Elite League (“It’s a league of MEN.”) or commit him to a season’s worth of “development”, AKA punishment in the NHL.

James

What do you think is best for Zibanejad? SEL or NHL? I know youre very strongly against not kicking in ELCs til the last minute.

I feel like I couldn’t be any more on the fence about it. Maybe with a slight edge toward returning him.  I really wish he could just be sent down to Binghamton. He’s the new Jared Cowen!

Varada

 I think he should go to the SEL this year. For me the AHL route is a perfect middle road, if only it were possible. He can be called up easily, still gets used to the smaller ice surface and North American style game, etc. That’s the debate with Rundblad. But my understanding is that both have options in their contracts to return to Sweden if they want, and I can understand why they would. You have a choice of returning to your home country, living with your family, and being a star in a league where you know exactly what to expect. Or you can ride the bus all over the US.
 
But if it’s between staying and going, I think he should go for all the common reasons. Mostly though it’s just because 18 is yoooooooooung. I see what Atlanta did with their prospects in consistently playing them early, and it’s never fast-tracked a player’s development.

James

You know what, I swayed more to the send him back side. I sometimes think back to how his SEL number of games-played is somewhere in the 20s, and I think their season is a little over 50 games. It says a lot about his pedigree: just broke in from the Swedish Juniors and caught a bunch of scouts’ attention. I think it would be extra exciting to see him go back and enjoy a Rundbladian domination of the league. Though that’s asking a lot, it did make Rundblad seem all the more of a sure NHLer and SEL graduate when he came over this year. Same goes for Jared Cowen going back the WHL and absolutely hurting that league’s feelings.

Even though winning two games has been a gas to watch (except for like 53 minutes of that CLB game) it’s still a rebuild year and I think Ziba is more of a sure-thing prospect, like Rundblad, where there’s little question he’ll make the NHL one day. With so many prospects in the mix, I’d actually prefer to see DaCosta get a bit more of a look. He seems more the wild card. Maybe even a couple of games for Corey “AHL Hall of Fame” Locke. That and I guess it makes more room Nikita Filatov which, for me: give the kid the full try out. Rebuild year, last year on his ELC, might as well see what he can do, warts and all. Better than having Zbad crammed in there potentially playing wing (like what’s now happening).

Interesting to see The Dogman getting called up ahead of Filatov. I like me some dogman though.

Varada

Yeah, Filatov must be secretly seething. D-Man gets his callup as he wanted to sign in Latvia or some shit and re-signed in Ottawa (apparently) after a promise he’d get a shot in the NHL, so this is probably it. Eventually Filatov though – he’s gonna get his Bobby Butler treatment. “You’re what we’ve got! Top six minutes for the last 30 games of the season!” (*hides under blankets.*) 
 
I mean, don’t get me wrong about Zibanejad: I’d like to him to stay for entertainment value. I’d like to see him develop. I really wanna see him get that first goal, and he was awesome in pre-season. (What a tease preseason is, huh.) Also we need him for depth purposes, as I’ve already said a billion times that I expect like 40% of our lineup to be hurt by mid-season. But you know, if we need to call up someone I’m totally cool with like, Mark Parrish, he of 10 seasons in the NHL and currently with Bingamton, coming up for a few games.

James

I know. I look at Parrish as a very, very smart signing by the Murrays. The David Hale of forwards.

Yeah, I’m not losing sleep over the whole Filatov thing. Still so much season to go and you have to think he’s going to get a pretty extensive shot again with his contract expiring.

Exeunt (weigh in in the comments section)

Alfie, Spezza and Michalek playing Anderson’s role

I feel emo-tioooooooooooon.

Featuring prominently in Ottawa’s stunning last minute comeback win over the cursed Columbus Blue Jackets were Alfredsson, whose savvy read and work ethic generated the chances, Spezza, who scored the tying goal, and Michalek, whose play has been equal parts gritty and speedy. Without those three – arguable the only legitimate NHL line this team has – and Ottawa’s surprisingly potent powerplay (3rd in the league), Ottawa’s early season would be even worse than it’s been.

Spezza in particular has been dominant at times, and with 11 points in eight games might finally start to receive the kind of respect and attention elite players deserve. Michalek is showing what he can do when 100% healthy, and Alfredsson is once again defying his age. Beyond Karlsson, they’re everything this team has.

If Ottawa is going to surprise anyone this season – and read any non-Senators blog and you’ll see an endless stream of “lowly Senators” and “destined for a lottery pick” and just straight up “this team stinks” references – these three need to play this way all season long. In other words, they’ll need to play the role expected of Craig Anderson in everyone’s pre-season predictions and steal some games.

Now, were Anderson to return to his late 2010-2011 season form combined with the trio’s play, you might even have consistency from game to game. You might even, dare I write it, compete for a playoff spot. Now that there’s an extremely modest win-streak under their belts, this team might have some momentum and start challenging teams that aren’t, you know, the absolute worst.

More likely of course is that at least one (if not all three) of those forwards will be injured in due time, and then there will be trouble. Stephane Da Costa has one point in eight games and is -8. Zibanejad has one assist, and is 18 years old. Peter Regin is already hurt. Forget that these guys are barely second line centers, sooner or later they might even be called up to take critical face-offs as the Senators top centermen.

In other words, I’ll take these gutsy, exciting wins while I can. There will be enough tough games ahead. But what’s clear this early on is that Spezza is again proving himself, and is likely the future captain of this team. Let’s soak up the chance to watch him in his prime.

The Best of Bill Simmons’ Quasi-Hockey Ideas

Bill Simmons is as well known a generalist in sports writing as there exists; long-time ESPN contributor, editor-in-chief of Grantland, getter-of-massive-figures-like-commissioners for his podcast, he’s a bit of the everyman, even if his level of access is anything but common. Not a former athlete or general manager, not a specialist; just a former blogger who writes about sports from a fan’s perspective while achieving that tricky balance of humor and authority. He’s sort of the sports blogger equivalent of the musician who gets picked out of obscurity to become a rock star.

He’s also getting into hockey (moreso). With the NBA lockout, the epic collapse of the Red Sox, and football being football (meaning, obscenely well covered already) he’s watching some Kings games. And he’s been writing down some great ideas. So, prompted by this article, I thought I’d take a few minutes to highlight those I think would benefit the NHL the most.

1)      Shorten the season and have a week-long tournament for the eighth seed.

The atom bomb. This one’s a game changer. Here it is in a nutshell: Only the top seven seeds in each conference get into the playoffs. All remaining teams, whether eighth or 15th, play a round-robin tournament for the eighth seed. This requires the league to drop the already-too-long NHL season from 82 games to maybe 76 or something, which frankly is overdue considering how long the playoffs are (and how weak late-season hockey tends to be). It adds a week of ultra-fun, winner-suddenly-gets-in-hockey. And it prevents tanking for draft picks. Imagine your team toiling in 14th (ahem, Ottawa) only to suddenly get hot at the right time and, after a few epic wins, find themselves in the playoffs? It would send just the right message about never taking contention for granted, and about competing all year long. And the ratings for that week long tourney would be absolutely bananas. You’d have a huge spike in ticket sales for those down-and-out markets. You’d reward seventh-and-higher seeds with a week’s rest before the playoff grind. You would create an instant underdog favorite. (Imagine a team like the Islanders winning a few games in a row in the last week of the season to jump from 13th to eighth, re-energize and suddenly have to take on a well-rested but rusty Washington in the first round. How could you not root for them at that point?) And it’s absolutely the only way the Columbus Blue Jackets will ever return to the big dance. (Just kidding. [Not kidding.]) In a league that already has all sorts of parity, it would be the ultimate “anyone can make it” gesture, and it would be a hell of a lot of fun. This is a Nobel Prize idea.

2)      Larry Bird Clause, kinda

When it comes to a pending UFA, allow the team who drafted the player (should he still be with that team) to offer more money than competitors. This allows small markets to keep their stars – if they’re willing to pay for them – and gets us out of this whole ridiculous “we just couldn’t get a deal done” parlance. This is a little bit less obvious in hockey than in basketball, because there’s a league max per player in hockey but no one in the league, even its biggest stars, comes anywhere close to it (there’s always some chatter about the next big UFA getting a league max deal, and inevitably he’ll sign the nice secure long-term deal with a reasonable or only-slightly-unreasonable cap hit around $7M); theoretically, small markets already can outbid other teams – if they have the cash – by just going league max, AKA officially insane. They don’t because you have to sign 20 guys in hockey, and Kovalchuk can’t play goaltender.

The solution is to create artificial cash advantages. Limit the maximum bid allowed by competitors on a UFA. So, to use Kovalchuk again, all other markets would not be allowed to offer more than, say, $7 million a year (in the highest paying year of the deal), and Atlanta (R.I.P.) could have offered more than $7M, up to league max. This also removes the unofficial but totally real advantage large market teams have and use when they bury contracts in the minors or overseas in order to dish out for today’s big UFA. Oh, and only allow the drafting franchise one Larry Bird Clause per UFA period. Which means Nashville is still boned when Weber, Suter and Rinne come up for new contracts after this year.

3)      Incentives for players who outperform

The two above ideas would be a tough sell to the players’ union. They limit the maximum payout to the league’s stars and not-really-stars. (How will Brain Campbell put food on the table without Dale Tallon having every opportunity to make him the next okay player with an elite player’s paycheque?) And they encourage teams to spend less, load up on stars at the deadline, and then try to run the table during the round-robin tourney rather than spend all season long on salaries. Here’s a bone thrown the other way: bonuses to players who outperform their contract expectation and, here’s the key, bonuses which don’t count against the cap. You can argue we already have bonuses, but they do count against the cap. It’s also not spectacular for a player like Sean Bergenheim to outperform expectation by scoring, like, five goals. How about for contracts in excess of $5 million there’s an automatic superstar provision wherein the player earns more if they win a major award, or land in the top ten in their respective categories? You’re telling me a team will complain about having to shell out an extra million or two if 1) they have a player on their team good enough to win the Art Ross? And 2) they have the advantage of the Larry Bird Clause, which allows them to keep all of their players OR if bidding on a non-drafted UFA to get them for only up to $7M?

So there you go: three solid ideas to improve upon an already improving league.

BONUS IDEA (this one is mine)

Trade Sergei Gonchar to the Rangers for Wade Redden and their 1st and 3rd round picks. They save $5.5M overall, get an actual NHL player (sorta), and we get a defenceman who might feel like he has something to prove and has a positive history with the city, and some picks. New York would have to figure out the cap, and Gonchar isn’t going to waive his no trade if they plan on stashing him in the minors, but I dunno…get an analyst to put some scenarios in a Word document and email it to Sather.

Oh, and no-touch icing for Christ’s sake.