Happy Xmas Pagans, its Saint Swithin’s Day for 2 more minutes and you know what that meaaaaaaaans…

BERRP TERRRP DERRRPYYYY DERRRRRRRRRR!!! (that’s that Sens trumpet thing btw)

Its playoff tiiiiiiiiime! I know I haven’t been arouuuund latelyyyyyyy I was picked up by the poliiiiiiice for VAAAAAGRAAANCYYYYYYYYY!

Okay, so are we all bleeping excited for this? It’s game 3 and the Sens return to the friendly confines of Scotia Bank presents: Large Building and —

You know what? Let’s just get to the Chipotle-Sandalwood Dijonaise of why I’ve met here with you today:

Been reading a lot of “MSG was Electric for Games 1 and 2 …Will SBP be loud?” on the Sensphere. WHOA! Wait a minute. Really, friends…no, look at me….look in my eyes.  You know I love you and I need to know…is that where we’re at? Is THAT where our Ottawa self loathing is AT right now? We’re doubting our ability to adequately cheer for the Sens returning home after defeating the Rags in OT on the road down 2 men? Puppy, puppy no, no, nooo and we were all feeling so chuffed after the All Star Game. You’ve been hanging around too many leafs fans jerk faces planting seeds of doubt in your mind.

I’m not trying to bum you out little buddy Im trying to light A FIRE UNDER YOU. Look, I’ll be realistic, I’ve been to some games lacking in intensity, usually they are of the
late season 4-0 drubbing at the hands of the Carolina Hurricaines variety but fair enough. Like the great singer-songwriter Chris Martin said in that Coldplay song that sounds really different from the other Coldplay songs, “Nobody said it would be easy / Something something cheering at a hockey game” Right? Lets take it back to the start (see what did there?)
The Ottawa Senators is a 20 years young (doesn’t look a day over 17) franchise and has the VERY FORTUNATE circumstance of being wedged between two 100 year old hockey clubs one’s fans
insane and accustomed to victory to the point of setting their city on fire if their equipment manager doesn’t get 5 points a game and speak fluent Portugese and the other suffering from a Napoleon complex where the worse the team their dad loves they love performs the more they have to lash out at Ottawa. TRY TO GUESS WHICH IS WHICH! Hard times have been given. Ottawa is a house thrice divided. We Sens fans despite building this fanbase on hostile territory have gotten a complex all our own as a result.
Another conceit I will afford this line of thinking is this: have you ever tried to start a GO SENS GO chant? I have. IT CAN BE CHALLENGING. Its just a hockey game, help your fellow fans out! But again, I want to light a fire under you, so Im here to offer answers.
If you find the atmosphere lacking at the arena YOU ARE ALLOWED TO CHEER MORE. Like many criticisms of Ottawa itself, many people enjoy being part of this faceless mass of complaining about stuff but seem to do very little in offering a solution to the things that are irking them. Theyre called “People who write in the comment section on the Ottawa Citizen website.” You’re not one of them are you? Of course not. Heyyyyy, don’t have any friends like me and you’re looking for people to get rowdy with? Look no further than the awesome and ever growing presence that is Red Scarf Union. These guys and gals are fighting the good fight! Hear that chanting on the TV? Yeah, they started it. Join em! Its free, respectful and it(?) wants to hang out with you. Scotiabank place is far and you have to drive and youre tired and whatever? Take the bus to the game. Its easy, you get out of the parking lot first and take the bus lane on the 417 (speaking of favorite complaints) AND you get to chirp the guy in the leafs jersey at a non-leafs-Sens game with me! No one hates the bus system more than me and my car but I will say the service to SBP is one instance where OC Transthing gets it right! Plus no one will rat you out about your flask *WIIIIIIINK* There, now you can have a few drinks and loosen up a bit! Maybe you’ll finally get up the courage to ask Varada to go see the new Three Stooges movie with you! He told me he “likes you likes you” btw…just DO IT.

Anyway pals, we’ve had a quite the upbringing and are pretty hard on ourselves as a fanbase. Yeah, SOME people booed Gonchar and Kuba on opening night. I was there. It was a small portion of the crowd but yes it sucked and was very awkward. Anyway, we kick ourselves all year over stuff like that but look around, how many times did Montreal and Toronto boo their own team this season alone? Like 10 (being conservative)? They are “great fans” that they wear fucking bags on their heads. Chill mon, the shit happens.

We’re all a bunch of hockey loving doofuses at heart. There’s lots of boneheads everywhere. Its weird, lets get over it. Okay aaaaaaand the last and most important reason is becaaaaaaauuuse….

It’s the playoffs. Our sweet, sweet Captain of a man might not be back next year AND (on a very related note) the Sens might not be back in the playoffs next year OR the year after. We’re lucky we’re getting to be a part of this stuff so lets shut up and go a bit bananas. If youre going to the game get wild (consider trying a hint of meth before the game 🙂 My favorite flavor is Dave’s Memories of the Meth Belt, Zesty Louisianan Style ) buy a XXL red Senators snuggie and if the name Daniel Alfredsson gets announced over the PA …well…

Here’s the words to the chants write them on your hand with a pen 1. “GO SENS GO” repeat 2. “ALFIE” repeat.
GO SENS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKINGPLAYOFFSANDSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


James Day Preview: Walker New York Rangers Vs. Ottawa Beast Towers

I had that same stupid poster of that stupid ice man, man.


How’s going? Great orrrrrrrr really great? Really great? Well great.

Before we get started—whats that? Already started? Okay, well, whatever, so, bloggingly speaking, am I alone in being a bit confused over people’s comments about Ben Bishop’s game against Tampa out in the Sensphere? It seemed like I kept reading thing after thing about how the guy looked shaky and that Lehner is better than him etc. Damn. One game and people have some serious opinions. I was pretty surprised how dismissive of his performance people were being. I don’t really know if giving up a power play goal from Stevehair Stamkos is “one you wish you had back” nor did I think the other two were Martin Gerber specials.  A win is a win and full credit to a guy who played his first game with a new team and on the road at that. If I’m going to dismiss anyone’s play its going to be the established NHL goaltender who had a dog garbage outing on the other end of the ice. Sure he wasn’t slated to start that because Garon went down from injury due to Erik Karlsson’s manliness, but after a 73 year career you’d think Dwayne Rollerblades would be able to handle something like that.

Tonight the Sens will not look like they are on a power play for whole periods at a time when they face the New York Rangers. After an Andersonian 26 consecutive starts and a bad loss at the hands of New Jersey last night, Henrik Zoolander will get a rest and Martin Biron the OTHER Matthieu Garon gets the nod. Now, playing for the no.1 team in the East, Biron has enjoyed a stellar season going an amazing 11-3-2 this season. Biron also has a .911 PCT and 2.20 GAA. Those are back up numbers you can hang your hat on. So, just because the Crown Prince of the Republic of Handsomeness is warming the bench don’t mean this one is going to be easy.

So, yeah, Ben Bishop is a human man from the United States of America and enjoys goaltending. Not too much to say here yet what with it being his second start here. This goalie preview is a stub, help WTYKYpedia by expanding it! OOH first game on home ice, that’s a thing I can say! So if you find yourself at the game or watching it on television, Ben Bishop is Ottawa’s starting goaltender. Bishop is in for a serious test but if he can hold off the Rangers who are not exactly lacking in the firepower department, that will be huge for him going forward. Also: Water = wet.

A few posts back we, as a family that loves and cares about each other, discussed the possibility of Erik Karlsson netting 20 goals. The basic consensus (self included) was that he probably wasn’t going to do it this year but would more than likely would put up 20 in the next year or two. So, fast forward to this exact moment, King Karl now has 16 goals on the season. He is currently on pace for 19 but as I’ve said before, I find those projections tend to be quite conservative. I mean, now that I think on it, I suppose it would be pretty hard to predict hot and cold streaks so calculating it as steadily as possible seems like the smartest way to go but come here and check this out for a second: 4 more goals people, 4 more frigging goals. Can he inch closer tonight?

Speaking of goal milestones on the year, I would love to see Spezza climb to the 30 mark. He’s done it thrice before but those were in some powerhouse years and for Spezz to do it this year surrounded by a much different cast and a whole lot of rookies would just be special. He could even potentially do it tonight. Its not unreasonable to see Spezza pot two in a game, even against the Rangers. Great to see Turris and Greening get on the board against the Bolts, this would be an absolutely ideal time for frankly anyone who done need heating up to heat up. Hopefully Michalek wont be too thrown off tonight by there being a goaltender in the net.

Thinking back to the last couple of games the Sens and Rangers have played I’m not sure if the Rags they were quite east coast dominators they are now back then. Maybe they were but I always feel like the Sens have a chance against them. Its funny when you consider these teams respective places in the standings as Ottawa’s top line centre in Jason Spezza has 72 points while NY’s Brad Richards has 45 (three less than 39 year old Daniel Alfredsson) and Erik Karlsson has more points than everyone on the Rangers roster. But a quick glance at how those points are spread out over the team, the defense corps and the performance of their goaltending tandem offer a strong case for why they are challenging for the President’s Trophy. At the very least tonight we’ll get to see Biggitty Ben Bishop’s sample size that we will judge him intensely on grow.


Enjoy the game!