We were talking about trading Spezza, or not trading Spezza, or possibly just leaving Spezza behind unintentionally while on a road trip and accidentally bringing some prospects and a 1st round pick back with us, and we got to thinking: If you DID trade Spezza (not that you would) what is the MINIMUM you would want back (if you did want something back)?

Well he’d have to waive his NTC. The three teams I see as possibilities are Jersey, Anaheim. or Columbus. All three are knocking on the door, feature a potent scorer and lack a playmaker in the middle. (I know Jersey is terrible but pairing him with Ilya might be too tempting, plus they are garbage down the middle.)

We’d have to get at least a 20 goal guy in return, a goal scoring prospect and hopefully a draft pick before round 4. Not sure the possiblilty is out there. I’d love to get more but it’s really a crap shoot since I know gutsy roster moves aren’t made amongst American teams. Costs need to be kept to a minimum. I actually don’t see him being dealt unless a contender gets desperate as a reactionary move to another deadline deal by a team occupying a similar spot in the standings. Then again, he’s not a rental.

Basically, most teams thinking of dealing for Spezza are looking at picking up a new, highest paid player on the team. That would be a gutsy move.

So here’s my gutsy move if I’m Melnyk. Solicit RFP’s for what aspiring GM’s would do if they’re the GM of the Sens for the free agency period. Let Murray continue to handle the drafting, player development and roster transactions but hire an outside contractor to handle the summer’s free agency period. There’s gotta be consultants out there with ideas on what to do with 17 million in potential cap space (that’s if all RFA’s and UFA’s hit the road)

Obvs its more complicated than that, but not much more and hockey features a serious lack of outside the box thinkers. If a rebuild is on the horizon whoever you bring in would probably do a better job of convincing ownership to tear it down than any payroll employee would.

What say you, readers? What’s a minimum package for Spezza?

An almost random collection of observations on da game:

– That five minute penalty kill in the 2nd was inspired, possibly the best execution of a hockey system I’ve seen from this team. That it wasn’t immediately followed by a second five minute penalty, despite occurring in the second period, is a surprise.

(Actually, forget it. Mike Fisher just took a double minor.)

– I detest Pierre McGuire, even if he does know what my major was in university

(It was blogging)

– Ottawa relies heavily on stretch passes, which almost never connect, whereas Jacques Martin teams move inexorably forward, like a battleship made up of little people, into the zone. Martin is boring, but again coaching a team to the top of the standings

(Jacques Martin looked funny with a tan when he was coaching in Florida)

– Most of Ottawa’s shots seem to come from nothing but the peripheries. In fact, the team seems so surprised to be in a position to actually be able to take a shot that it immediately does. Price can makes saves on shots from there all day long. Not only are Ottawa not getting many shots, the quality of shots are terrible. I don’t know how they simultaneously have the forwards so far ahead that they need to rely on stretch passes and yet doesn’t have the forecheck support to be driving the net, but there you go. Our boys are special. Worst of both worlds.

(I miss Cullen)

– Kuba looks really bad out there. Really, really bad. I don’t know if he’s still recovering, but he’s the tallest pylon on this team by far. And it was his brutal whiff on a shot at the blueline that lead to the two-on-one, Gionta’s goal, and this game going to bed

($3.7 million a year that guy makes. I give him two more weeks before we all stop using the fact that he broke both of his shoulders sneezing as an excuse)

– I don’t think it was fair to drop Butler from the first to fourth line after fifteen minutes of hockey, during which Ottawa only had one shot on net – meaning NO ONE was producing. Especially in favor of Foligno, even if he did score his second goal (on the power play). Butler got no ice time in the third at all, meaning this team called him up and scratched Peter Regin so they could have an extra person sitting on the bench. He ended up with about seven minutes of ice, less than Ryan freaking Shannon. Way to go, Clouston. That’ll solve the scoring problem

(Bobby Butler is the Dean McAmmond of my Vaclav Varada)

– I can’t take Christian Bale seriously in any movie. He just looks like Christian Bale dressed differently. He’s go no empathy in his face, just those dead eyes. Kind of like how Tom Hanks in a movie is just “Tom Hanks In Space” or “Tom Hanks On a Desert Island,” except instead of being affable, Bale looks like an escaped robot. Which is probably why the only movie anyone respects him for is American Psycho

(Netflix is great)

– Where the hell is Mike Fisher? Why can he only score goals in twos? And when is he due to do that again?

(Been reading a lot about Nashville’s prospects lately)

– Karlsson really is out of control. He’s officially off the leash

(Pojkar will be Pojkar)

– Clouston’s in some real trouble here

Peter:

I think its time we all admit that Montreal is a quality hockey club and Ottawa is not. There’s hope though. Remember that Montreal was basically assembled using a bunch of discount parts and only a couple of high priced guys. They could be a good role model for Ottawa at the close of this season.

While yes playoffs are still a possibility, are we ready to watch 4 or 5 games then lose interest for the rest of the spring? The real exciting time might be the hot stove discussions as free agency kicks into high gear.

A picture of the Sens’ new hockey rink

James to Conrad, Pete

CCFR Fantasy Update:

Dany Heatley’s return to Scotiabank Place is one he wont soon forget. The Senators set the tone early with Chris Neil delivering a thunderous check on his former teammate in the opening minutes leaving him clearly shaken up. The chanting of “Tree, Leaves, Trunks! Tree, Leaves, Trunks!” or whatever, was clearly getting to the now slumping, former 50 goal man as he totally did not stick handle his way through the entire fucking neutral zone and make the Ottawa’s defense look like old ladies dropping their groceries. With his speed you’d expect him to breeze through but Bryan Murray continues to look like a genius for the deal that shipped him to the West.
Former linemate Jason Spezza was up for the challenge of facing his friend on his tastefully hyped return to the nation’s. Spezza looked dynamite simplifying his game and making it look easy with crisp text book passes that allowed his, speedy and most of all consistent winger acquired in the Healtey trade, Jonathan Cheechoo, to make short work of the San Jose Sharks who did not look like they were on a powerplay all the time.. No, in fact they did not get the chance to embarrassingly take the puck away from Spezza whenever he tried to be too fancy in the high pressure game, which was never. It’s hard to tell who deserved first star more, Spezza who answered the bell against his former sniper or Cheechoo who absolutely lit up his old team.

With Daniel Alfredsson not playing with the flu and looking full of healthy colour in his between period interview, the captain spent most of the game lurking in the shadows killing penalties finally getting to play diminished role on the team no longer having to lead the squad with his 8 goals at age 38. Preserve your energy for the playoffs dear Captain, the rest of the team is at the controls!
On the subject of duels, number one starter Pascal Leclaire continued his inspired play, and not to discredit the Senators potent offense led by the ever threatening Cheechoo-Spezza-Michalek line, fan favorite Snoopy, was the best player on the ice and was rewarded with yet another win. Some argue that Leclaire’s league leading GAA is padded by the fact that he plays behind Ottawa’s tough mix of punishing, legitimate NHL level shut down defenders and effective zone clearing puck movers. Regardless, there was little doubt the net minder had the game in hand as the Sharks clearly looked tired having travelled the across the entire span of NORTH AMERICA TO PLAY THIS GAME. The visiting goalie was little match for Leclaire as Anti Niemi was not made to look sharp by all the quality shots he faced (especially in the second period) and displayed why he could BARLY GET SIGNED DISPITE WINNING THE MOTHERFUCKING STANLEY CUP LAST SEASON. One has to feel a bit sympathetic toward former Ottawa 67 and draft bust Logan Couture who was held off the score sheet again and looked listless with his one dimensional play dispite playing in front of his family. Couture is the first great quality 67s player that the Senators have missed out on at draft time. Dispite Doug Wilson being a 67’s alumni himself, the Sens always seem to cherry pick all the 67s best players BECAUSE THEIR SCOUTS DON’T EVEN HAVE TO GET ON A MOTHERFUCKING PLANE TO WATCH THEM PLAY

News and notes: Alex Kovalev was at the game.

I cant keep doing this… oh wait yes I can…

CCFR Three Pentagrams:

1.Jonathan Cheechoo (3G, 1A)
2. Pascal Leclaire (More saves than the other goalie)
3. Filip Kuba (Strong physical play, holding the puck in, showing leadership)

Hon mention: If only we could give a star to coach Cory Clouston we would definitely have as the players have clearly bought into his solid puck possession game plan okay im fucking done. Im firing myself now
I’M FIRED.

News and Notes 2 (remix): The entire team, save for Alfie WHO STILL HAS TO PLAY ON THE FIRST LINE AT AGE THIRTY-EIGHT WITH THE FLU, are fucking fired. More fired than me…and believe me I am FI – RED.

Game Quality: Definitely fun to watch on TV but better in person.

Conrad to James, Peter

Well, that was definitely…what happens when a good team from the
Western conference plays a mediocre team from the Eastern conference.

Sens I would trade for future considerations

The Ottawa Media. Between bringing up Dan Snyder to the Photoshopped cover of The Sun to the endless hyping (while repeatedly calling Ottawa fans docile and laid back, only further calling attention to the fact that YOU ARE THE ONLY ONES HYPING), they did their best to validate Heatley’s choice to leave.Then TSN brought in their fifty straight panels to say “Oh, it’s going to be REALLY interesting to see how the Sens respond” when we all know most of the team is probably still friends with the guy, and the coach is preaching “do not respond.”

Cory Clouston. The Sens are increasingly looking like a team without a
plan or a system. There’s no puck movement, there’s no puck
possession, no one has any idea what to do on breaks, and there’s no
physicality in the game.

Kuba. I saw you get deked out fourteen times. Don’t think I didn’t.
Common criticism for Kuba, but put your goddamned shoulder into it.

Erik Karlsson, for giving up a short handed breakaway while manning
the point on the PP for the five hundredth time this season.

Sens I would sign to lifetime deals

Leclaire continued in his proud tradition of playing pretty well and
not coming close to winning a game.

Michalek tried his best to distinguish himself. I noticed him for the
first time in forever.

Neil is such a dickhead. In a good way.

Gobbledegook

Anyone else notice how well Edmonton is playing on their swing through the NE? Makes me feel a little bit better about losing to them. That is, until they get annihilated by Boston and I realize it’s just that most teams in our division are pretty bad.

So, I know that Ottawa can’t make a trade just for the sake of making
a trade, but let me ask you this: are you willing to give up on
Foligno or Regin at this point if it gets us a different kind of young
player with upside?

Peter to Conrad, James

Didn’t watch the game, never really cared for TSN riding into town to stir things up. It’s a shame to since its probably the only game TSN will cover in Ottawa. I thought it was mucho rude of them to list the parts of the proposed trade with the oilers (smid, penner and cogliano) and how many points they’ve picked up since the Heatley deal. Booo!

But really, who can blame them? None of their panel of experts ever thought to bring up the fact that we don’t care about Heatley since our team has problems of its own. Mainly how shitty they’re playing right now. Bob MacKenzie was preaching that the sens wanted to win this for thier owner, in reality they wanted to win because they’ve been playing like turds right now and if they were out West, they’d be in second last place.

I’m not a huge proponent of sports clichés but for reals, this team lacks an identity. Spezza is non-existent out there and I get the feeling Alfredsson is hurt again. The top two players are not carrying the mail and the trickle down effect is evident.

I don’t know about making a move just to shake things up. But it’s true, things need to be shaken up. What are the possible options for third and fourth liners on a very suspect team? Best case scenario we get someone elses underachieving projects. I think the guy that would get the best return is Phillips, but I have no idea what kind of deal could be put together.

The sad thing about all this is that there is some truth to the label of Ottawa fans being apethetic and its only going to get worse. Sometimes I wish we were delusional leaf fans, if only for the soothing embrace of denial and oblivion to the wolves at the door.

Damn, its friday. I didn’t anticipate starting my day on such a down note.

Conrad to James

Brian Lee on waivers! This team is now willing to give him away for nothing! This team can’t even get a 7th round pick for a former 9th overall! I don’t understand hockey!

James to Conrad

makes me wonder if its like a saving face thing for GMs like “tis better to set this pencil neck free than to be done the insult of trading him for a goalie that was picked 298th overall” oh whats that? Brian Elliot was picked 298th over all? well at least its not dark and raining outside…oh… i gotta go boys ! laaaaater

Conrad to James

I think it’s just Melnyk saying “Look, we all know that I’m worth so much money that there are, by necessity, several expensive things belonging to me of which I know next to nothing, and can certainly not be expected to personally maximize the effectiveness of every last one of my dollars, but surely you can’t expect even me not to notice that we’re paying this guy $875,000 a year to NOT play? Not even on our minor league team? Scratched for 18 straight games? Either use him or don’t.”

As an aside, wouldn’t you love to get paid $10,670 a game to watch hockey from the press box?

James to Conrad

First things first, a HUGE congratulations to area man and friend of the CCFR Dan F for winning the 50/50 Silverlining on what was such a terrible, terrible game draw. It could not have happened to a nicer more deserving guy! Not only will Dan be getting back all the money he did not receive entertainment value for at Monday night’s game, but will also receive THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS OF ADDITIONAL CANADIAN DOLLARS!

Speaking of giving away thousands of dollars, as you have all heard Brian Lee has been placed on waivers joining the proud legions of players to be bought out or waived in the past couple of years, a feisty young squad known as Ray-Ray’s Kidz after founder Ray Emery and led by current captain Jonathan Cheechoo.

Okay so, something, something pterodactyl … Dany Heat-thing is coming back. I hope Cheechoo, Michalek and that second round pick score like…a friggiiiin hundredy goals on Heatley!

I don’t know it should be interesting to hear all the boos rain down…but I’m almost getting to where I just want to see the Sens win in general more than anything. I was busted up as anyone when dude left. Sure he was slow as hell and soft as a thing that is soft but I miss them 6-2 wins man. . . I want the Sens to be good more than I want Heatley to suck at this point because the Sens are sucking right now and it is a constant drain. All that said I really really hope the Sens show up for this one (and all the others after it). Imagine the noise in the building if Neal gets the chance to just lay Heater out with a huge hit…frig I just found another reason to miss Volchenkov?

James to Conrad (again)

What do you make of all this talk that OTT and PHX having paperwork filed for a trade? I find I would probably be most happy if they left things and gave Hale the year, if he fucks up…try another dude on a two way? Hale can obviously play a solid quiet shutdown game at the NHL level probably makes $22.60 per hour…then make some big ass moves in the off season. I think at this point I want dudes to sign deals. The team keeps getting burned with trade deadline acquisition guys. I would have loved to have kept Stillman or Cullen a little longer. Finally, I really think Foligno still has a good deal of upside going forward. Like you were saying, maybe not like a 30+ goal guy or whatever but I don’t know what we’d get in a trade for him that would be better. I really think he is just a 22 year who was going through a pretty bad slump. I suppose we could stand to have fewer streaky guys on the team. Sometimes I wonder if being a Sens fan makes you think it is an incredible accomplishment for a player to score 20 goals while for others its more a measuring stick of being sent to the farm team haha I’m sure it is in the west anyway,

Conrad to James

Where did you read the Phoenix thing? I’d be interested in reading more about that. Maybe we can trade for Dave Tippet. (Ba-dum-dum-ching!) I wonder who Phoenix is interested in trading or, more interestingly, who they’re interested in taking on. They’re obviously a team with low cash flow, so I can see them being interested in a Foligno type – cheap, lots of potential and upside, good work ethic, and not expected to score many goals (especially in Phoenix, where people still marvel at how ice works). If he played solid hockey, gave it all every night and put up 10 goals in Phoenix I think they’d be happy. Where in Ottawa if he doesn’t put up 20 the media will tell him he’s a failure. Anyway, it’s not going to be anyone expensive, that’s for sure. I heard Ottawa was high on Muller, but he was traded to Colorado last year so I don’t know who we’d go after. Knowing Murray it will be a defenceman. God, not Aucoin.

I wonder what happens with Phillips? He’s having a bad year, is in the last year of his contract, and could be highly sought after, especially if the Sens are out of the playoffs at deadline time.

James to Conrad

Search Travis Yost Ottawa Phoenix in google. I think his first name is Travis he claims a good source (not Ecklund) reports this rumour “ITS NOT A RUUUUUUUUUMOUR” – Arnold Schwartzenbaconandegger

James to Conrad

Whew. Talk about crushing lows. That first period was going wyte majjik. With the Sens looking all…on the road…in their road jerseys(?) Foligno puts one in, hooraw! It was pretty awesome to watch him trying to look like it not the huuuugest monkey off his back. Playing it cool with a semi-enormous smile. I don’t know…good for him. Something to hopefully quell the constant questions and trade talk to get him back to focusing on just playing the game.

So now back to…

Scoring only one goal on Andrew Raycroft 2.0: Scoring only one goal on Martin Gerber Edition.

That first period was cirque de whatev. The Oilers playing a road game made the Senators look like The Harvey Globetrobblers. I shit you not splornts fans, Chris Neil made a spinnerama cross ice pass…and got away with it. I mean elements of it were fun…I loved watching dudes blow a tire and slowly get back up on one knee and realize that they still had the puck and that no one on the Oilers was challenging them for it. Note that I said DUDESSSS(SSS) as in this happened more than once…in one period. Kovalev is hilarious in these situations it’s like he is looking for the heaviest lane of traffic to wire a pass through just to express his inner experimental jazz feelings. THEN MARTIN GERBER ALMOST SCORED ON HIMSELF. Things were looking alright.

Then as the end of the first period began to winddown and I thought out loud, “I don’t like this one goal lead business” – James, Hockey Game / Source Awards Watcher, 2010.
As much as people said the leaves did not bring it on Saturday night it was not like that first period against the Oilers. They were so flat that surprise surprise the Sens decided to not stack up a 19 goal lead but rather put on Speed 2: Cruise Control (Available on blu ray Dec 2 at Best Buy)…oops sorry mean garbagebarf control, apologies…apologies all around…and then yeah next thing you know Martin only faces only 23 shots and starts looking good …Andrew Raycroft good. And then the Sens take turns reading Architectural Digest on the toilet in the penalty box (why that is, is baffling me btw the Oilers are softer than Erik Karlsson’s baby ‘stache trust me…I know from experien…I cant even finish this joke I have heart burn). Then I go to bed…forever. JUST KIDDING YALL IM ALIVE (for now) I just wish I did.

As a fist time caller long time listener I have 2 questions….
1. Is anyone justified in getting excited for that game against actual team San Jose after last night’s toilet fest? To recap the EDMONTON OILERS…won…sorry phone call I absolutely have to take this, Blog. ill be right with you…Hello, CCFR, former staff writer James speaking how may I …oh last night? it was 4-1…sorry? Oh yeah, no yeah, yeah…The Oilers. No the NHL’s Edmonton Oilers. Yes, the total was 4…hmm? Yeah they scored 4 times. To yeah, you got it…to ..to just one…yeap, no, no he was in net, yes Martin Ger-…yes, im sorry you sound a little shocked could you repeat your question please? Ohhh…yes, he is 38 years old…no, its quite old for an NHL goaltender. Mhmmm…mhmmm……….mmmmhmmmmm…well that’s because he played in Russia last year…yes, exactly, couldn’t stay on the leafs squad no…not good enough…yeh…well, yeah, yeah he cleared waivers …well, waivers are when a player fucking sucks so much that they…you got it. Okay, I have a blog that’s waiting…okay, thank you…
Sorry everyone…I was promoted to receptionist here recently.

Question 2. After that does Murray have to try to do big thangs?

Sens I would do the dignity of looking them in the eyes

Peter Regin….was looking …hockey… playing Daniel…Alfredsson…

Sens I would put in the penalty box even more often.

Erik Karlsson attempting like a …1 on 5 rush…that was plain weird.

Gobbledeegook

See above gobbledeegook

Conrad to James

I’m in the Toronto Porter Terminal right now, typing on a Mac computer so nice it reminds me that most of our posts are written with pen on a mousepad. I’m also a little jacked on free cappuccinos. And left all of my pants in the closet of room 552 of the Hilton. And my throat infection is roaring into its second week with a vengeance. And…the Sens lost to the Oilers. November isn’t going out quietly.

Last night I did a lil’ iPhone research while being kept awake by my nagging cough: did you know that the Senators are tied for 2nd blurst in the league in taking minor penalties? They’re only bottom ten when you factor in majors, but that’s because there are teams like the Islanders who have players like Zenon Konoptka who go out there and get one fighting major after every goal against (and that’s a lot). I couldn’t find a site that does period-by-period breakdowns of penalties taken, but I can only assume that most of those Sens minors happen in the 2nd period. I’m beginning to think that after the first Clouston should just walk into the dressing room and turn one of those tennis ball machines on the players to keep them frosty until the game starts again.

We’ve been talking about a trade a lot, but I’m starting to think one won’t happen (that’s the cue for one to immediately happen, eliminating what little credibility this site has). Because, let’s be honest: what does Murray have to trade? Several high-priced veterans on pace to score 45 points? A slightly used Foligno on pace for an epic three goals? A Peter Regin who will finish the season with seventeen billion assists playing with the team’s best players but can’t finish? Two goaltenders who seem like really nice guys? And what does he get for those moldy pyjamas? If we’re looking for an impact player, I don’t see it happening. Though I gotta say, there are enough insane old men in this league – Burke, Sutter, Sather – to make SOMETHING happen.

Conrad to Peter

We should do a double post. The first subject will be how we spent a Friday night in Kanata watching an AHL game in which the visitors won 1-0 and how that wasn’t at all regrettable (read: totally regrettable). The second was how casually Kovalev can dominate when he’s motivated, and how friggin pretty those two Fisher goals were last night.

Biggest Surprises (AHL edition!)

Bobby Butler, he of, what, seven goals in four games? dictated the flow of the game Friday, but didn’t put up a point. Weircoch also looked pretty good. All in all, the BSens played sound positional hockey and outshot their opponents, but a series of bad decisions kept them from ever finishing. D. Smith and Kinrade didn’t look terribly good. And Roman Wick is a penalty-taking machine who I doubt gets his shot in the N this season (meaning ever). All in all, nothing to pissed off about unless it’s the first Binghamton game you’ve ever seen, and you have no investment in their performance, and you just want to see some decent hockey, which is the case for me. Still, sitting three rows from the glass for about twenty bones is pretty cool.

Biggest Surprises (NHL edition!)

Does Elliott’s shutout win throw this team back into goaltending controversy mode? Who do you play next game?

Peter to Conrad

I just want to start out by saying I never thought I knew happiness until I met a stranger who said they liked our blog. I didn’t think it would have such a profound effect on my self esteem, but yeah that was pretty cool.

AHL edition:
Holy man, what a friggin letdown that game was. The whole “Showcase our young talent to possible season ticket holders” initiative blew up in everybody’s faces with that snooze fest. While it was one for the old school, sound fundamentals crowd, I didn’t see too many of those individuals checking their fake blackberries. Goddamnit, why is Pizza Pizza so delish at SBP and not anywhere else on the planet?

Despite the dearth of offensive chances, I had a really good time. Never forget hockey is a game best enjoyed in the company of others. A great bonding experience for the CCFR crew.

NHL edition:
Wow, the Leafs are awful. All of the replays for the sens goals showed heinous, blood curdling defensive miscues by the buds. On Kovalev’s goal to get things started, both leaf defencemen were standing in front of their net looking for the puck while Fisher and Kovalev were banging away at it. On Fisher’s second the replay showed him shedding Grabovski in the neutral zone like he was the itchy wool sweater grandma knit and going right for the net, like he was strolling down the aisle at the Country Music Awards. (Aaaaand the award for the best unholy marriage betwixt two similes goes to…)

I think at one point Regin actually pulled the “tap your stick on the ice to confuse an opponent” thus convincing Luke Schenn that he was open. That’s rec league bullshit and I loved it. (Btw, how glad am I that we’re not leaf fans thus being forced to debate the glacial paced development of a top 5 draft pick, ouch)

I figured it out with Kovalev, he’s that guy on your rec team that’s better than everybody but has serious commitment issues. Like you spend every moment leading up to game time wondering if he’s going to show, then at the last minute his camaro screetches into the parking lot and you all breathe easy. Until the middle of the game when you start wondering “When’s dude going to take over? Why is he surfing ebay on the bench?” So you go on to lose and you start wondering if it would have been more fun without him. Then the process repeats itself next game but he scores three time and says your new haircut looks cool. (blushing!)

On the goaltending front, I thought they should have started Leclaire. He was razor sharp against the Pens and got nothing to show for it, he should have had a chance to look good against arguably the league’s worst team. I’m fairly certain this whole goalie controversy has a lot to do with the fact the Clouston probably likes Elliott better as a person, not just a hockey player. If he’s going to start alternating them, I think we’re in trouble. As a disclaimer I have no concrete evidence to back that up, Clouston’s about as closed a book as there is so we’re still unsure if his stance on oxygen and puppies.

That’s not a complaint, a shutout is a shutout but the Leafs were so bad that any number of secondary Simpsons characters could have got the W (Bee Guy, Dr. Marvin Monroe, that really tall dude)

Conrad to Peter

I definitely think that Clouston prefers his lunchpail, low-paid players (who he used to coach in Binghamton) to the high-priced “he’s got a lot of promise!” guys, hence his preference for Elliott, Shannon, the millions of chances Foligno gets, etc. I wonder how much dialogue goes on between Murray and Clouston. When they signed Gonchar it seemed like both guys were psyched, and had been collaborating on a Valentine to Serge for years. But when Murray brings in the much-vaunted, high draft pick goalie who just hasn’t found his stride yet and Clouston clearly likes Elliott, you wonder…

I also feel really, really bad for Leafs fans. They were SO close to a rebuild. Then they bring in Burke, pay him more than any other GM in the history of the sport (which in itself is ridiculous) and just like that the rebuild is over. Schenn and Kadri, that’s all you get. You really have to wonder with all they money they have in the front office – Burke, Nonis, Fletcher, et al – how they could make such bad decisions. Like signing Lebda (!). Boggles the mind.

Still, having said how bad they are, one has to congratulate the Sens just for winning on Hockey Night in Canada for once in a goddamned while.

So now I get to type the weirdest sentence in the world: “Sens are just two points back of Atlanta for the eighth seed.”

James to Conrad, Pete

Ever since I retired 12 years ago I have been on a fixed budget. As such, I had to listen to last night’s game by hooking up a homemade electromagnet to my gramophone. The sounds that passed though my hearing horn were most disagreeable.

Sens I would sign to lifetime deals:

Erik Karlsson? Seriously, 19 shots in each of the two games without the golden child in the lineup? I see a pattern emerging. I know they beat the kings but even as a fan I must admit that that was an absolute mouse fart of a win. Speaking of mouse farts…c’mon, 19 shots on Andrew Raycroft?

Lionel Hutz: “Your honor, this all goes back to the playoff case of Ottawa Senators vs. John Graham of the Tampa Bay Lightening.”

Remember that series? The Senators friggin rolled over that team because they knew John Graham was in net and the law of AK averages was at work “Comes ze shootings, comes ze goals” – Alex Kovalev, Productive Ottawa Senators Forward (Early Nov. 2010 – Mid Nov. 2010).

So, sure, the team that faced Graham in 1774 is much different than the line up of today but the idea remains the same. WHEN YOU FACE A GOALTENDER THAT COULDN’T STAY IN THE TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS LINE UP COMES ZE SHOOTINGS YAH?
………*deep cleansing breath* put Karlsson back in the lineup.

Jason Spezza & Daniel Alfredsson. Felt like those were the only two names I heard last night…eh, I think I heard Gonchar and Michalek a lot too…whatever I was busy drinking seltzer water and decorating homemade tshirts (not joking).

Sens that I noticed noticing me and I want to put them on NOTICE that I noticed them back:

Cory Clouston. Broham, I straddle the line of thinking youre the Jimmy McNulty of coaches. You don’t care if your Dany Frigging Heatley youre doing your line drills and I’m good police etc and getting paranoid that you’re totally alienating the team.

Also, This Texa$ Scrambler lineup up shuffling is getting weird too. Oh good, Gonchar back on the side he wasn’t scoring on paired up with Phillips whos having an awful season. Comes ze shootings comes ze shorthanded breakaways. What we signed Gonchar to a 3yr/16M contract to learn how to play on the side he never played on in the Mozzarella years of his career? PUT HIM WHERE HE’S GOOD. OH LOOK! THE CURTAINS ARE ON FIRE! ITS GOOOOD THAT BART DID THAT ITS VERRRRY VERRRRY GOOOOOD!
Seriously, hearing players, namely defenders, gripe about getting used to new partners so far this year is annoying. Don’t we have like 1 new player? Even Carkner was a lock to make the squad.

Smooth Jimmy’s Riding That “Comes Ze Shootings, Comes Ze Goals” Thing Into The Ground Korner”
– After an absolute dearth of scoring earlier in the season the Sens absolutely exploded offensively for a few games. We are due for some dizzying highs. And I don’t completely mean watching games on ecstasy.

Conrad to James, Pete

Like every game that takes place on TSN2, I watched the Sens game by refreshing the score on my iPhone while watching a staticky Montreal game. Montreal looked good! Habs I would sign to long term deals PK Subban ahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeesh.

But yeah, seconded on the Karlsson thing. He gets reinserted next game, guaranteed. I say if you’re gonna go with puck movement and possession, then go with it and let your team build around it. Hopefully they’ll have it down by the last third of the season, just in time for a heart attack run at a lower seed and will get hot just in time to really challenge in the first round. Sens are so fixated on being a contender RIGHT FRIGGIN NOW that if the wheels start to come off the wagon coach immediately starts tweaking. Patience, little turtle doves. You’ve got a lot of salary up front, and you’ve built your entire system around getting them the puck. Gonchar can’t do it if you make him play with a tennis racket.

So, speaking of tweaking and patience and contradicting myself almost immediately, when does this team call up AHL-leading scorer and he of 14 goals in 20 games Bobby Butler? And, more deliciously, who sits to make room for him? I guess the easy answer, despite his goal last night, would be Shannon, who’s inexpensive, or Foligno, who we’re currently dragging the lake in an attempt to find. The ballsy move would be to bench Michalek or Kovalev, both streaky. If your whole system is predicated on speed and puck possession, and you’ve displayed that you have no ability to wait for the team to gel, Butler has the wheels. It might be worth a try.

On a completely unrelated note, the Islanders have lost 14 in a row. Ain’t that something?

Peter to Conrad, James

Yikes, just looking at the box score is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. Alfie, Michalek and Foligno all didn’t even register a shot on goal. Granted the first two logged almost 20 minutes of ice time while Nicky was only on the ice for 13. Allow me to re-iterate, yikes.

How many 2-1 games did we think this team is going to win? Not very many in my humble opinion. Do we really think Karlsson is going to jumpstart the offense? I hope so. Can’t we lose a 2-1 game in OT or a shootout, at least picking up a point? I feel like there needs to be some sort of town hall meeting for non-season ticket holders and other mentally unstables. “Coach have you thought of hypnotism or lasers?” “Do you think Michael Jackson is really dead?” “Barabbas, Barabbas, BUTLER!!!!!!”

I’m very scared someone’s going to have to remind blue’s clous that his B squad is playing in his home rink Friday night and that he should probably watch instead of staying home to drink seltzer and make homemade t-shirts (btw, can I get a homemade Dreamphone t-shirt?)

Looking forward to the game friday, I think he should put Foligno in the lineup against Hamilton, only to see the love of the game sparkle return to his eyes before he is pasted into the boards.

James to Peter, Conrad

I think that, yes, Karlsson can potentially jump start the Sens offensive. Isnt he the teams like…4th highest scorer or something? And his return, should he beallowed back on the powerplay by Coach Digby’s in the Doghouse, will put Gonchar back on his proper side ..so, yes, it cant hurt (save for Karlsson potentially taking eleventy penalties). God i hope Crosby doesnt have a Stamkos to grind on friday. I just barfed all over myself. Oh, also, Hott Tipp: A successful team is a team that doesnt take 8 penalties per period!

Homemade Dreamphone shirts will cost $1… or a beer.
We have them in your size (slim with the tilted brim)

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