Folks, it’s a Monday night game and everything’s all fucked up. Derick Brassard is back in the lineup, I’m watching the game nearly 24 hours later, Dallas has a hockey team apparently, basically nothing is as it should be. Ok let’s watch some hockey and feel normal about it.

1st Period

• Watching the game the following evening instead of first thing the next morning means I get to enjoy a beer as part of my viewing experience, and let me just say: if you haven’t tried “having a beer” while watching a hockey game, I recommend it. It’s pretty good!
• Tonight’s starting goalie is “Magnus Hellberg”, who Ottawa picked up on waivers from Seattle when C*m Talbot went down with an unplanned injury. Not sure Seattle is the team I’d want to be picking up goaltenders from these days, but let’s just see what happens…
• The Sens defense is “battling” so far, which is what the home broadcast says when the home team is getting absolutely murked, but the announcers are trying to stay polite about it.
• Sens dodge going down 0-1 early through an inconclusive video review of a wrap-around attempt that looked like, at the very least, it should have been a goal. Sens on the PK, now. The PK has been pretty rough lately, so going a game or two without allowing any goals while shorthanded would be nice.
• Well the good news is the Sens didn’t allow a goal on the PK, but the bad news is that Brannstrom got cooked like a Christmas turkey on a one-on-one defensive play by someone called “Kiviranta” and now it’s 1-0 for the Stars. Chabot didn’t cover himself in glory either, but Brannstrom was definitely the main guy who was embarrassed there. If I know DJ Smith, and I think I do, this will mean that Brannstrom won’t be seen for the rest of the game now.
• Almost 8 minutes into the game, Ottawa finally gets their first shot on net via Mark Kastelic. I’m not convinced this a real problem, but Ottawa doesn’t really come out of the gates trying to blow people off the ice this year.
• Ottawa’s powerplay gets a chance to go to work, and we get our first look at Brassard on the powerplay in place of the injured Josh Norris.
• Brassard wearing number 61 is a bit like your dad left and then your mom’s new boyfriend starts wearing his clothes. Brassard isn’t the Step-Stone, he’s the Stone who stepped up.
• Ottawa’s powerplay looked fine, but they didn’t score by the way. I was too busy thinking about the number 61 for normal reasons to notice anything else about it.
• Apparently Ottawa is facing Dallas’s backup goalie tonight? That’s fine, we’ll take that disrespect in stride. It’s all good. We don’t mind a free two points. It’s banter!
• Tkachuk does a bit of shithousery in the offensive zone and gets penalized for it, and Ottawa’s going to finish off the period on the PK. Joseph gets a pretty good shorthanded chance, and Ottawa actually kills off the rest of the penalty pretty effectively. As the official Guy Who Is Doing A Bit About Pretending To Care About the PK, But Actually Does Kinda Care About The PK, I declare this: adequate.
• That period was the Monday night game against a Western Conference team of periods.

2nd Period

• Ottawa’s first line of Tkachuk-Stützle-Batherson puts together some good offensive pressure to open the 2nd. One thing I like about Ottawa’s “skill” guys is that they play a very direct game. I like this sort of fast, unsophisticated hockey where the team wants to get high quality chances as soon as possible, and they don’t really care who’s shooting it or how. Even Stützle, who I think is occasionally accused of being all curry no wurst, is considerably more shoot/pass oriented than someone like Auston Matthews who likes to skate and never wants to give up the puck unless he’s going to shoot it from one of those spots he likes to shoot it from.
• Ottawa has put a few good shifts together here, but Hamonic is going off for a bit of a dodgy interference call now to put an end to that. Time for The Penalty Kill Knower to log on yet again…
• Another solid kill from Ottawa, as they denied Dallas opportunities to set-up in the offensive zone with possession. Ottawa has allowed only 1 shot on three penalty kills, meaning I am going to upgrade this performance from “adequate” to “acceptable.”
• Pinto has appeared on the second line with DeBrincat and Giroux. Just something to keep an eye on for the rest of the game. Also Sanderson just drew a penalty so Ottawa’s gonna get a chance to tie it up on the PP.
• DeBrincat takes a feed from Batherson and blasts one-timer it into Wedgewood’s pads. This man just cannot buy one so far this year. This was also Ottawa’s best chance on the powerplay.

• Not to get to “Ottawa Valley” with it here, but I gotta once again say that this 4th line really stirs my soul a bit when they start banging and crashing in the offensive zone. It’s caveman shit to be sure, but I still like having one line that follows that old Midget hockey philosophy of “Shoot, pass, kick ’em in the ass. Skate around the rink and kick ’em in the dink.”
• DeBrincat draws a tripping penalty and Ottawa’s going back to the PP. Blessed be the off-season acquisition who is still drawing penalties and chipping in with assists when he hasn’t got the bat going.
• Stützle has a beautiful chance denied by a sprawling Wedgewood. Are…we getting Sens’d right now? This is what it looks like when someone gets Sens’d, no?
• So the Sens are losing and they’ve failed to convert several five-star chances on the powerplay, but other than that they are playing a pretty great period, all things considered. Just relentless killbot stuff. Short shifts, rolling 4 lines, they just keep coming at you until you can’t hold them back any more. It’s pretty great!
• Ottawa is going to finish the 2nd with another powerplay. I guess it’s easy to look like the better team when you’re constantly playing with an extra skater.
• Chabot ties the game with 36 seconds left in the second with a sneaky one-timer from the point which is tipped in by Batherson in front. Considering the chances Ottawa’s had in this period, it’s crazy that THAT’s the one that tied the game. Also Batherson being so incredibly red hot keeps stressing me out until I remember that he’s already signed to a long-term bargain deal.

3rd Period

• Hellberg opens the period by giving up a big rebound to Robertson and then making an equally big save to clean up his own mess. I like a goalie who takes responsibility for their own mistakes!
• Dallas has come out with a strong push to start the 3rd, and like in the first, Ottawa hasn’t had any shots on net in the first 5 minutes. Then Brady Tkachuk takes a pass from Stützle as he crosses the blue line, and he shoots Ottawa’s first shot of the period five-hole on Wedgewood and gives Ottawa the lead. Incredible garbage energy from the garbage son captain.
• Feels like I haven’t seen Brassard in a while. He’s been there, I’m just saying it feels like I haven’t seen him in a while. Mind you, it’s not like Josh Norris had been Mr. Visibility on the Giroux line early in the season.
• Everyone’s looking for EU residency, these days…

• Shane Pinto scores in his fifth straight game, by simply forcing a turnover and shooting the puck into the exact place where the post meets the cross bar at 300 meters per second. Is it time for this guy to slow the fuck down now? This is a guy we actually need to give a new contract to! Maybe it’s time to start getting DeBrincat involved, you know? Spread the goals and the contract dollars around a bit!
• Brassard gives Ottawa a 4-1 lead by keeping the puck on a 3-on-1 and shooting the puck into the exact place Pinto just did. Turns out this whole time Wedgewood’s weakness was perfect wrist shots into the top corner. He better hope the rest of the league doesn’t figure this one out.

• Ottawa’s taken their foot off the gas a bit here to finish the game, but I guess that’s normal when you’re up 3 with six minutes left.
• Dallas pulls the goalie with 3:40 left in the game, which is good because it will help protect Ottawa’s precious 5v5 xG%.
• Let’s check in with the Dallas support staff!

• Damn, I was just trying to think of a simile to describe what the Sens were putting this game to bed like when Dallas scored to make it 4-2. Again, this does not count against Ottawa’s 5v5 stats, so there’s no reason to panic.
• The game ends, but not before Ottawa ices the puck approximately 600 times and DeBrincat has a shot at the empty net blocked as time expires. Light work!

The Wisdom

Outside of the mystifyingly slow start to the 1st and 3rd, this was an excellent, full-team performance against a legitimately strong team. I’ve been reluctant to ask this so early in the season, but…are the Sens good???

Here It Is, Your Moment of Salieri

After a wild and crazy home opener, it’s time to settle into the reality of the NHL season: Thursday night games against teams like the Washington Capitals stomping on a human face forever.

In Memoriam: Eugene Melnyk

Eugene Melnyk (May 27, 1959 – March 28, 2022) was a Canadian businessman, philanthropist, and owner, governor, and chairman of the National Hockey League (NHL)’s Ottawa Senators and the AHL’s Belleville Senators. He was the founder, chairman, and CEO of Biovail Corporation, once Canada’s largest publicly traded pharmaceutical company[2] with more than C$1 billion in annual revenue. He sold almost all of his holdings in the company by 2010. Canadian Business magazine ranked Melnyk 79th on its 2017 list of Canada’s 100 wealthiest people, with a net worth of $1.21 billion.[3] He was one of the richest residents of Barbados.[4][5]

1st Period

• The TSN broadcast starts by pointing out that Ottawa doesn’t have any back-to-backs until December, so they’ll probably be riding Anton Forsberg hard for several months, which checks out. Tough times to be a part of Magnus Hellberg Hive.
• Ottawa catching Washington when they’ve already suffered several important injuries is pretty nice. Not to put too fine a point on this, but games at home against injury-riddled teams are the sorts of games you really need to win if you have playoff ambitions.
• Through the first TV timeout, very little of note has happened. Washington is here to play A Good Road Period and Ottawa is letting them. Josh Norris hit the post once, I think? I actually kind of like these sorts of games. They’re the hockey equivalent of a night at home where you and your partner are just at home on the couch together and nothing happens, and that’s kind of nice because life is about being as much as it’s about doing.
• Something finally happened, but unfortunately it was a Jake Sanderson tripping penalty.
• Something else just happened, and it was Hamonic firing the puck over the glass giving the Capitals a 5-on-3 for 1:12. It looks like the Sens are going to kill off the 5-on-3, but TJ Oshie finds a hole in the Senators defensive coverage (because there’s only 3 dudes on the ice) and snipes it glove side with 7 seconds left in Sanderson’s penalty.
• Anthony Mantha rips a wide-open one-timer during Washington’s second powerplay, and now I wish this game had spent more time being tied and the Sens spent less time doing penalties.
• Penalty Kill Korner: The Senators have allowed goals on 3 of their last 4 penalty kills. Might be time to check the oil on the ol’ PK systems…
• The Ovechkin line just speedbagged Ottawa’s 4th line for a full 90 seconds, and then they got a second kick at the can because Parker Kelly could only ice the puck to relieve the pressure. By my count, Washington had no less than 4 five-star scoring chances in those 2 minutes. I understand that 4th lines are 4th lines for a reason, and I’m trying to keep my expectations low for those guys, but it seems like they get hemmed in their own zone against the other team’s top line at least once a game. The Sens have got to stop letting the opposition get that matchup so easily, if only for my own sanity.
• Tkachuk got one of Ottawa’s best chances of the period on a sneaky tip in front of the net. Brady has come out of the gate miles better than last season. Beginning to think that maybe training camp and not having a long contract holdout is actually important to how well you start the year.

2nd Period

• Ovechkin went at Brannstrom one-on-one and Branny defended him nicely. Area White Man Does His Job, Receives Praise.
• Despite being down two goals, the Sens are still playing with a sort of methodical energy which I will laud as “Sticking with it and not panicking” if they come back in this game, but will decry as “a complete lack of urgency” if they don’t.
• Sanderson takes a hit up high and starts leaking extremely badly. Hamonic comes in to defend his D partner and goes off for roughing along with another Capitals player who happened to be around. Despite my general dislike of performative fighting, I can’t say I really mind this. When you’ve got a rookie bleeding out of his face, it’s good for someone to act like they don’t like it.
• DeBrincat draws a tripping penalty from Oshie, and Ottawa gets their first chance on the powerplay. Neat choice from Ottawa, as they go with a four forward (Tkachuk, Norris, DeBrincat, and Batherson) setup on the 4-on-3 powerplay. As the coincidental minors end, Batherson takes a cross-ice pass from Tkachuk and goes far side corner from an extremely sharp angle. It’s a big win for Powerplay Classic, and I’m sure Powerplay Zero (Giroux, DeBrincat, et al.) are fuming.
• Oshie sends the Senators back to the powerplay, and Powerplay Classic strikes again with Batherson chipping in a rebound from right in front of the net. Really hoping I don’t look back at these goals one day as being scored by someone who should be in jail.
• Norris thinks he makes it 3-2 for the Sens, but the goal is waived off for a high stick almost immediately. High-sticking seems like the one call NHL refs consistently make correctly, and the no-goal call is confirmed following a brief video review. Tough break for Norris who can’t catch anything but the post so far this season.
• After playing A Perfect Road Period to start the game, Washington is coming undone here. Conor Sheary takes a terrible penalty seven miles away from the play and Powerplay Classic goes back to work. Brady Tkachuk throws Powerplay Zero a lifeline by taking an undisciplined slashing call, bringing the powerplay to an unceremonious end.
• Chabot winds up and goes coast-to-coast from behind his own net and finds Norris right in front with a beautiful pass. Norris rips it off the post, because that’s all he can do these days We would have seen that rush on highlight reels for weeks if Norris could have found the net there. Chabot looking like a young Karlsson in his prime, there.
• Ottawa manages to kill off a full two-minute penalty, punctuated by Zub taking a Ovechkin slapper right to the hand. This Russian-on-Russian violence is typical of a Putin apologist like Ovechkin.
• The game is starting to open up here at the end of the 2nd, as Washington has a 4-on-2 and Ottawa has a 3-on-1 on consecutive rushes. Then Parker Kelly lays out John Carlson with a big hit, and then there’s a fight and it looks like Washington is slowly coming to the inexorable conclusion that they are Getting Sens’d.
• Ovie takes an undisciplined high sticking penalty at the end of the 2nd (is there any other kind of high sticking penalty?), and Ottawa’s going to start the 3rd on the PP. To close out the 2nd, DJ Smith gives us a brief glimpse of Powerplay Cherry which has Giroux and Debrincat out with Tkachuk, Batherson, and Chabot.

3rd Period

• The Sens start the 3rd with Powerplay Zero on the ice: Tkachuk, Giroux, Pinto, DeBrincat, and Sanderson. Seems like Tkachuk is pulling double-duty on both powerplay units now that Motte on the PP has been correctly identified as the psychedelic coke-dream it always was. Powerplay Zero acquits themselves adequately, but the score remains tied. The best chance comes from Powerplay Classic, as Tkachuk hits the post on a one-timer. Is it just me or are the Sens hitting like 4 posts a game this season? Maybe that’s the normal number of posts per game. I have no idea. I’ve been watching Chris Tierney for fucking YEARS, dude.
• Giroux finds DeBrincat at the backdoor with a beautiful pass, but DeBrincat can’t elevate it over the pad of Kuemper. DeBrincat has a bad case of The Norrises, as he has yet to score the season despite getting what seems like one great chance a period.
• The third line does a bit of dump and chase, and then a textbook forecheck by Joseph and Motte leads to a Pinto goal from the exact middle of the slot, and it’s 3-2 Sens. Secondary scoring is the thing that makes the Sens a real hockey team now. In years past, a quiet night from the 1st or second line would be a one-way ticket to a frustrating loss. A third line that can chip in with a timely goal every few games is going to be one of the main things keeping the Senators in the playoff hunt this year.
• Jesus Christ, Anton Forsberg: these are some of my favourite historical miracle workers.

• Here’s a new thing this season: having taken a one-goal lead in the 3rd period, the Senators are keeping their foot on the gas! With 7 minutes to go in the game, shots in the 3rd period are 14-3 in favour of Ottawa. Combined shots in the 2nd and 3rd are 31-8 for Ottawa. It’s like the team all has money on Ottawa -1.5. Also I’m not trying to be mean here, but I can’t help but notice that this extended period of extremely strong play from the Senators also corresponds with a time in which the 4th line has not touched the ice.
• DeBrincat takes another pass from Giroux and again he can’t find the back of the net. DeBrincat is approaching “needs to bank one in off his own ass” levels of snake-bitten-ness.
• There’s a minute left, and it’s a one-goal game, but Washington has barely had the puck. What a dominating performance from Ottawa to close out this game.
• With the net empty, Washington gets one good shot from the point which Forsberg saves, and then Motte chips the puck out, chases it down, and seals the game with an empty-netter. What a team effort!
• DeBrincat scores into the empty net with 7 seconds left just to shut me up. Pretty good bit. Josh Norris when? Sens win 5-2.

The Wisdom

Washington looked like they didn’t want to win this one, and Ottawa obliged them.

Here It Is, Your Moment of Salieri

Waking up this morning, I had the vague feeling that I missed a great party that everyone else except me was at. Ok, let’s check my phone and see if I can piece together what happened from the drunk texts I’ve received.

Player Intros

• Letting the crowd announce “Zuuuuuub!” themselves was great.
• Sens Theme Song is playing throughout this, and guess what: it still rips. Reject Timmy Trumpets, Embrace Tradition!
• Based on the crowd reactions, it seems that Giroux was a bigger off-season introduction than DeBrincat.
• Honestly, nice team introductions. Just the right amount of pomp and circumstance while still running through the team fast enough to keep things moving along, like a non-denominational wedding officiated by a friend of the bride and groom.
• The crowd pop for Beautiful Day/Alfie was palpable. Check out the smirk on this guy’s face. He knows he’s still got it.

• I would do anything if Daniel Alfredsson asked me to.

1st Period

• Claude Giroux scores 1:04 in to the game by sliding it through Swayman’s five-hole. Can’t say it’s the best goal I’ve ever seen, but it’s clear no one in Ottawa cares.
• Getting a team on the 2nd night of a back-to-back for the home opener is extremely good scheduling by Frank Senators. We should do that shit every year.
• Tkachuk gets a cross-ice pass from Stützle and goes shelf to make it 2-0 Senators in the first five minutes. Tkachuk is gonna have to jam some pucks into the goalie’s shinpads soon to throw people off the trail of his laser wrister.
• Norris just ripped it off the post on the powerplay. Norris is a guy who has had a slow start to the season (going two games in a row without a goal is simply unacceptable in this season of heightened expectations), so it was nice to be reminded of why the Senators “overpaid” for him in the off-season.
• Classic “your goaltender is your best penalty killer” penalty kill for the Senators. Thinking about becoming a big Penalty Kill Guy this year. No one cares about the penalty kill so I think I can get a lot of mileage out of saying shit like, “Sens need to force more dump-ins at the line” and “You need to take away that cross ice pass if you’re Hamonic.” and nodding sagely.
• Batherson makes it 3-0 after picking up a deflected puck next to a completely open net. Unfortunately the goal is called back due to goalie interference, as if part of a metaphor for how we are still awaiting the results of a league investigation to determine whether we can cheer for Batherson.
• Batherson scores again off a beautiful feed from Tkachuk behind the net. No more metaphors, just silent contemplation of our own complicity in hockey’s destructive culture which will excuse any amount of abhorrent or criminal behaviour as long as the person doing it has a sick clapper.
• Bergeron puts Boston on the board off an extremely broken play where Forsberg dropped his stick. If I was a goalie, I would simply hold onto my stick, but maybe I’m just built different.
• Stützle’s vision and passing is maybe the best I’ve ever seen on the Sens. All he sees is the code of The Matrix. Check out this pass to Chabot, who is at the top of the screen:

• Zub takes a late penalty, which means the Senators will start the 2nd period shorthanded. I’m almost certain that won’t be important, though.

2nd Period

• Boston scores on the powerplay 28 seconds into the 2nd period. Hamonic had one good opportunity to clear a rebound, but the puck bounced over his stick and Krejci picked it up and went shelf. I’m gonna go ahead and put that one down as “shit happens”.
• Here’s some other shit that just happened:

I’m not exactly Mr. Defensive Systems up in here, but I don’t think DJ Smith wants to allow wide open uncontested wristers from the middle of the ice. If we’re still seeing these types of defensive disasters in November or later, folks are going to start asking questions like, “What the fuck is this?” and “Are are you kidding me?” and “Does anyone have Barry Trotz’s phone number?”.

• This game was 3-0 Sens at one point, and now it’s 3-3. Crowd sounds like they just found out that the Canadian Tire Centre is out of beer and spring rolls.
• As if sensing the energy of a thousand Kanata dads practicing their post-game call into the Team1200, Parker Kelly drops the gloves for The Chris Neil Memorial Fight To Get The People Goin’. The crowd doesn’t exactly roar its approval so much as politely applaud the effort.
• Let’s talk about Josh Norris for a bit. He’s currently on a line with Giroux and DeBrincat, and while Giroux and DeBrincat have found more instant chemistry than the cold open for an episode of Breaking Bad, Norris has been more invisible than the fans of Skylar White during an episode of Breaking Bad. I don’t think it’s time to panic yet, and I can’t even think of a useful line shuffle at this point, but it’s clear that Norris needs figure out how his linemates operate and get in sync.
• The CTC finally witnesses the firepower of the fully armed and operational 3rd line, as Joseph and Pinto find themselves on a 2-on-1, and Pinto takes the pass from Joseph and buries the one-timer.
• I’m very undecided on the long-term viability of this 4th line, but I do appreciate that they play as if they realize that it’s ok to try to score when they’re on the ice.
• Stützle gets absolutely crushed from behind, and then gets up off the mat, and buries a pass from Batherson with a slick forehand-backhand move. Stützle’s father goes wild with excitement.

• Kastelic restores Ottawa’s 3 goal lead as some hard work from Joseph forces a turnover to Watson behind the Boston net and Watson finds Kastelic right in front of the net. I can’t remember the last time I saw a 4th line goal. It’s starting to feel a bit like 2007 in here!
• Boston cuts the lead to 2 off a big, uncontrolled rebound from Forsberg. Boston hasn’t exactly been carrying the play in this game, but they’ve certainly done a good job of taking advantage of Ottawa’s frequent defensive chaos.
• Pastrnak scores to make it 5-6 with 14 seconds left in the 2nd period. The puck deflects off DeBrincat’s stick and goes perfectly into the top corner. I’m going to generously call this a “Shit happens at 4-on-4” goal instead of a “Why does Pastrnak have so much time and space?” goal, but the Sens defensive play is officially On Notice after giving up 4 goals in one period.

3rd Period

• Here’s a guy who is having a pretty good night: Erik Brannstrom! He looks incredible with the puck. He always has his head up, looks confident, and skating looks like it’s gone to another level. I don’t know what this guy did in the off-season to put it all together, but it gives me hope that maybe someone like Tyler Boucher isn’t a lost cause yet.
• After two periods that were perhaps a little *too* exciting, it looks like both coaches have told their teams to cut that shit out and go back to playing hockey you can set your watch to.
• Some 4-on-4 hockey breaks out again to inject some more chaos into this game that has already seen 11 goals, and Tkachuk finds himself on a breakaway and hits the post. Another one that will go down as “missed the net” in the scoresheet.
• Speaking of chaos, Zub takes a pass from Batherson, turns Connor Clifton into his step-nephew in front of the net, and then goes glove side on Ullmark. We go now to the CTC’s live reaction:

We need to re-sign Zub off the combined strength of that goal and crowd reaction alone. He’s too important to the culture now.

• For the second game in a row, the Sens take a penalty late in the 3rd period with Giroux going off. Luckily the Sens kill it off with Forsberg making two saves, but I can’t say I love this trend of undisciplined penalties late in games.
• It looks like Boston is going to get two minutes of 6-on-5 time against a tired group of Ottawa skaters, but Bergeron bails Ottawa out by taking an interference penalty for no reason, and the Sens kill the game off with a powerplay where they barely even try to do anything interesting. Crowd goes wild, Sens win 7-5, see you in the parking lot.

The Wisdom

That was arguably the most untidy game Ottawa has played so far this season, but they got two points so I’m hoping we can all chill out about it.

Here It Is, Your Moment of Salieri

As a Sens fan currently residing an ocean away from the hallowed largest parking lot in Eastern Ontario, keeping up with the Sens has been a struggle for the last year. Last season, I watched a few periods of whatever games I could, and they were always terrible because the team sucked, so it didn’t feel like I was missing much by being in bed at the hours of 1 AM to 4 AM. However, since the Senators are *takes out permanent marker and circles this word several times* ALLEGEDLY supposed to be good this year, to quote the philosopher Steven Tyler, I don’t want to miss a thing. To prove my dedication to the cause of Watching The Games, I have dropped the legally mandated 99 euros on an international NHL dot TV subscription so I can Watch The Games the morning after they air. The only problem with this otherwise perfect system is that I don’t have somewhere to write my every stupid thought about the game I’m watching. Twitter would usually function as my Mind Toilet here, but the game is over, everyone else is in bed, and the last thing I want to do is ruin everyone’s morning timeline with a 20-tweet thread of shit like “Wow Kyle Okposo really is the Sabres captain, huh? Is this how people feel when they play us?”. That’s Simmer’s job.

Which is why I’m introducing a new post format I’m calling The Watch of Shame, which is just where I’m gonna write all the stuff I would have tweeted if I’d been watching the game live. It’s like a recap, but without anything resembling structure, insight, or effort. Remember, I’m doing this for me, not you, so if it sucks or you don’t like it, no refunds. Ok, that’s enough. Let’s think some thoughts about last night’s game!

1st Period

• Ottawa’s 3rd line of Motte-Pinto-Joseph is the most frisky-looking five minutes in. Everyone else just putting in Preseason With Extra Steps shifts.
• Giroux tried to hit DeBrinky with cross-ice pass during an early powerplay and the Sabres sniffed it out immediately. It’s possible they ran that play too well in the pre-season.

• Jake Sando just made a between the legs pass under pressure in his own zone, and guess what, it was the perfect play! 10 minutes into his NHL career and he’s already showing more sauce than Cody Ceci has in his entire life.
• Tkachuk just scored on a beautiful tee-up from Batherson. I love that people think Tkachuk can’t shoot. Keep giving him all that space, boys!
• DeBrinky could have easily made it 2-0, but Craig Anderson came way out of the net to rush him and cut down the angle. Gotta give it up to Craig for still getting it done in the Big Show at 41. This guy is still pretty good when he’s on 127 days rest.
• DeBrinky and Giroux can’t quite connect on a 2-on-1 pass. That’s the second time this period these guys have had a chance denied by a well-timed stick.
• “Tyler Motte has been as advertised!” says the TSN play-by-play guy whose voice I don’t recognize. How was Tyler Motte advertised? A 3rd-line forward who doesn’t suck ass? Connor Brown without the swag? Anyway, agreed, he’s been as advertised.
• The Sabres have really been going at Chabot when they’re coming into the zone with the puck this period, and unfortunately it pays off at the very end of the period as they draw a tripping penalty.

2nd Period

• The best chances of the first minute of this Sabres powerplay have come from Ottawa, but Motte couldn’t score on a breakaway, and Sanderson couldn’t get a shot off on a 2-on-1 after DeBrinky’s pass was broken up AGAIN. *extremely pretending he doesn’t know the final score voice* OH I WONDER IF WE’LL REGRET NOT SCORING ON ALL THESE CHANCES.
• Shots are 17-11 for the Sens right now, and that does seem right in terms of who has been carrying the play. I do wonder about some of the Sens’ D-zone play, though. Sens go from 0 to 5-alarm fire as soon as the structure breaks down even a little bit. Hopefully that’s something that just gets better as the season goes on.
• Peterka scores after he and Cozens work the give-and-go against Sanderson on a 3-on-2. First time all game Sanderson’s looked out of place. Also I really need Ridly Greig to become the Brendan Gallagher we all know he can become, because I still kinda wish we’d drafted Peterka with that pick. DEUTSCHE SPIELER ÜBER ALLES.
• Speaking of Deutsche Spieler, Andy just shut the door on a Stützle breakaway chance. Good for Craig. Again I am extremely Not Mad about this!
• Man, Holden and Brannstrom just had a R O U G H shift and the puck ended up in the net behind Forsberg. Holden looked bad on the zone entries and Brannstrom looked rough by his own net. Tough to blame Forsberg on either of these goals against
• At least the PK has been looking good? Don’t love that I’ve had so many two opportunities to watch it this period, though.

• Ok Sens clearly should have scored on the powerplay here, except Stützle fed it across to Norris at approximately Mach 7 and Norris whiffed on it. Levels of Not Mad increasing!
• Tkachuk just whiffed on a one-timer in the exact middle of the slot on the 2-man advantage. I’ve never been so Not Mad in my life.
• Stützle can’t convert on yet another breakaway. IS IT JUST ME OR SHOULD IT BE LIKE 5-1 FOR THE SENS RIGHT NOW?
• Chabot going off for tripping again at the end of the 2nd. This is something to keep an eye on going forward, because the Sabres simply cannot wait to skate at Chabot and it’s paying off for them.
• Forsberg has made some good glove saves in this PK. Really been enjoying having a goalie who uses his glove this game.

3rd Period

• Sens starting this one on the powerplay. No good chances.
• The boards are showing adds for Blue Moon. Does that mean that Labatt’s legendary trademark on beers with the word “Blue” in the name has finally expired? Not sure if you knew this, but in the rest of the world, Belgian Moon is called “Blue Moon” and the reason for that is because Labatt wouldn’t let any other “Blue” beer get sold. If you’re buying Blue Moon in beer stores now, let me know.
• Other than the moments he’s looked bad, Brannstrom has actually looked pretty good, which I guess is just AKA “the experience of watching Erik Brannstrom”.
• Tkachuk is shooting from absolutely everywhere tonight. Wonder if he made a bet with Timmy that he’ll have more goals this season.
• Ok, when Craig Anderson is even gloving down the pucks that get tipped in front of the net, you know it’s just not your night.
• Sens kill off their 4th penalty of the game. Can’t say the PK has been a complete vault this game, but 6.5 xG/60 from this game is definitely respectable PK defense.
• Stützle denied by Anderson for the 3rd time in the game, this time with a wild poke check. Anderson’s got me yelling, “He’s just spinning the ball on his finger!” like Krusty watching the Washington Generals at this point.
• Hard to believe this is still a one goal game. The Sens have failed to convert so many chances that it feels like they’re down by like 4 goals right now.
• DeBrincat and Giroux have been pretty quiet this game from the 2nd period on, I gotta say. Giroux was in all alone against Anderson at the end of a shift with 3 minutes left and just fired it into the blocker, as if to prove my point.
• Chabot giveaway at his own blue line with the net empty puts an exclamation point on a bit of a shaky game from him.
• Just noticed that Victor Olafsson’s goal song is Gimme, Gimme, Gimme!. Good thing I love that song because I just got to hear it twice in 15 seconds.

The Wisdom

That wasn’t the worst Sens game I’ve ever watched. Nothing but love and respect to Craig Anderson. Let’s try scoring some goddamn goals against the Leafs on Saturday.

Here It Is, Your Moment of Salieri