I’d Like to Dedicate this Next Number To A Little Someone Named Patrick, Patrick Wiercioch

Posted on March 14, 2013 by worsteverything

Patrick Wiercioch thinking about his future and hopes that the nicknames bestowed upon him are merciful.

Patrick Wiercioch thinking about his future and hoping that the nicknames bestowed upon him are merciful.

Hello all you men and women out there! Today on this website I would like to calmly discuss with you how Patrick Wiercioch is quickly becoming a bit of a thing.
His clutch tying goal in last night’s shootout loss to Montreal basically secured Ottawa the point. If Wiercioch can keep his production up he is going to be talked about more and more…take now for example!

Jack Edwards wasn’t mispronouncing his name he really is Patrick Weird Shot

Because the NHL can bite my butt, I watched several Binghamton games this year where, along with André Benoit, Wiercioch served as one of the BSens go-to puck moving offensive defensemen. In his 32 games in Bingo before the NHL got its shit together, he had 19 points. 10 of which were goals and 4 of them coming on the powerplay. I got to see a number of those goals get scored and I noticed even back then something interesting about a lot of them. They came off of really strange looking shots. Wiercioch seems to have a propensity to get off these low, dipping wobblers that manage to find their way in. In a flattering word his shot can be described as deceptive.
Now, I’ll be honest when I saw these strange bouncers going in again and again during his time in Binghamton I couldn’t help but think, “That’s great and all but you’re going to have to learn to put a little more mustard and cheese (ugh, sorry) on that thing if you’re going to take shots from the point in the NHL.” Anyway, examining his three NHL goals so far, recognize Johnny Blaze ain’t a damn thing changed:

Tying Goal in the 3^rd period Last Night Vs. Montreal. This one is straight up hot. Replay the “Inside the Net” angle several times for full appreciation!

First NHL Vs. Islanders. Ties the the game at 2 with just over a minute left in the 3^rd Note the weird knuckle puck action! Lucky? Who gives a rip if it goes in, it goes in.

Goal putting Ottawa up 2-0 in the first Vs. Rangers Again, weird shot in full effect. Look at the wobble on that thing…by the way, that ain’t exactly Dan Clouthier in net either!

Shut up, me!

I don’t know about you Eddie but I like the idea of a guy who can go low blocker or five hole from way up high in the slot. As for the argument that with the exception of the Montreal goal, the other two were a bit lucky I’m beginning to think otherwise. Having watched Wiercioch all season from AHL to NHL Im starting to think if these shots are lucky then that’s a lot of luck. I could be wrong on this but maybe it’s more of a tactic. Follow me:
We are now in the era of the Carey Price type goalie. They are big in the net with good movement laterally, and most importantly are textbook positionally. I think you see a lot of shots go wide these days because it seems you have to pick the absolute corner to beat most goalies high. It’s the weird dribblers bouncing off stuff and skipping off the ice that are going to make up a percentage of what fools the Lundqvists of the world (curse that handsome devil!).

Let’s Talk About ~~Sex~~ Replacing Gonchar

Obviously its really early to tell here but its undeniable that Wiercioch is starting to make a case for a full time job next season. He is the Mika Zibanejad of defensemen. Is he getting a lot of minutes? No. Is he trusted in all situations yet? No. Is he starting to put up some noticeable points? Definitely. This bodes well for a rookie in a line up like Ottawa currently has. He’s getting a bit more of a look he would have if the team was healthier and is taking advantage of it.

Let me start off by saying Patrick Wiercioch is no Sergei Gonchar. We’re talking about replacing a guy who’s a veteran of 17 seasons, a Cup champion with 2 Olympic medals and has played in 5 All Star games. Gonchar has played 94 more playoff games than Wiercioch has NHL games. The other thing though is that Sergei Gonchar isn’t really Sergei Gonchar. At least not since he’s been here. When Murray first signed him I thought we were getting that game breaking bastard that I hated so much in Pittsburgh. I don’t think his time here has been quite as disappointing as it’s seemed but I would be remiss if I didn’t say he’s frustrated the hell out of me on far more occasions than i’d hoped. I commend him in that he stepped up both last year in the playoffs with one of the team’s strongest performances and this year when he was handed Erik Karlsson level burnout minutes at age 38. He also sits 3^rd on the team in points. Thanks bro! But real talk, this is Gonchar’s last season in Ottawa. That is of course if he make’s it past the trade deadline. Regardless, misgivings about the $5.5MM salary aside, he could take a $3MM dip in pay and I would bet the organisation would still not re-sign the soon to be 39 year old defenceman. I mean who is he, CHRIS PHILLIPS!? HAHAHAHA AH….ha….*cough*…huh…*stares at shoes*….another year to go.
Right, so, suffice to say, with Gonchar’s impending exit one would hope that the Sens era of “We’ll fill this hole in the lineup with an overpriced veteran” as strategy will end. With Silfverberg and Zibanejad all but assured top six jobs next season and Turris signed long term, the youth movement is underway at forward and a continued changing of the guard is realistic on defense. Observe THIS:

Methot – Karlsson

Cowen – Wiercioch

Phillips – Frozen Dinner

Based on what you’ve seen from Wiercioch so far do you think this is a D corps you could hang your hat on? Sergei Gonchar has a poise with the puck and a world class vision that you probably cannot teach but also he’s looked flat out terrible at times in Ottawa. Before the season started I would have advocated a signing for someone to play with Cowen upon his return but I’m really starting to think Wiercioch could hold down a second paring job and bring a little more speed and toughness than Gonchar ever did here.
For me, Wiercioch has so far shown he’s got great lateral movement at the blueline, a good breakout pass, decent hands, a bit of toughness and adequate foot speed for the NHL. The biggest question I can think of is how will he respond to the increased minutes? Wiercioch gets the least amount of ice time of all active Ottawa defenders. Factor in Karlsson and he gets the 7th lowest amount. Though it can be said that he’s being sheltered because he’s a rookie, that doesn’t hold too much water considering fellow greenhorns Eric Gryba and Andre Benoit have been handed heavier workloads. Also important to keep in mind Wiercioch wasnt even a top pairing defenceman in Binghamton. Consider he went -14 on a Calder Cup winning team…and then -14 again the next year. Frankly, he’s shown pretty slow development overall. But that was then and the NHL is a “what have you done for me lately” business and he’s been delivering to the point that barring a trade or free agent signing, a top 4 spot is presumably his to lose next season. Do you think Weird Shot has what it takes?

Hey, How Are We Criticizing the Ottawa Senators These Days and Further Can We?

Posted on March 13, 2013 by worsteverything

You know, just your average situation where you have kind of a whatevs AHL career and then you become a possession animal and the backbone of an NHL club….

JAMES SAYS:

Hey, Varada *holds for 2 full minutes of applause* I don’t know if you noticed but this season has been an absolute whirl of wind for the team that we like, the Ottawa Senators (.com). Heh heh heh ahhhh…just…sharing the laughter and love, you know? And by laughter and love I mean, I actually found myself getting a warm feeling deep inside when I read a tweet from Wayne Scanlan saying how Erik Karlsson was seen limping around SBP with TWO shoes on instead of one shoe and one cast. I caught myself feeling so happy that I immediately took a personal inventory in an attempt to find out what personal void I am filling with all this hockey stu—I mean, I was regular, emotionally stable person amount of happy…moving forward…

What I’m saying is the NHL season just to start with on paper is upside down. 40 odd games, something like 60 points and you’re in the playoffs, day is night and vegetables are poison.

Factor in the Sens and it gets no less weird. Let’s do a quick test, which of these things made you more excited as a fan this season: That Ottawa went on a perfect five game homestand or the news that Craig Anderson’s ankle injury wasn’t as severe as it first appeared? Jakob Silfverberg going 3 for 3 in his first 3 shootout attempts or news that Jason Spezza’s return could be as few as 2 to 3 weeks from now? I’d compare something to hearing word that Erik Karlsson will make a full recovery from his injury but I know how we all feel about that one.

The point I’m trying to make is, as last year was defined greatly by the career years a healthy line up helped afford, this year is defined by the injuries that have clouded what expectations for a team like this should be.

Up until recently Ottawa has had rookie Eric Gryba playing on the top defensive pairing. I know right? That prospect so hyped that he was called up after Beniot, Wiercioch and Borowiecki had all been given a shot. I’m not trying to put Gyba down here I’m just trying to illustrate how when you look up the team’s player stats and see that Gryba’s got the second lowest plus/minus rating on the team (-5) it’s hard not to react like, “Yeah, well they are playing Eric Gryba for over 20 minutes a game so…”

Watching a team’s top line blow a guy who at this point has 12 NHL games under his belt doesn’t make me angry as a fan so much as the fact that that situation is even happening illuminates how deep over their head the team is in it this year.

Although icing a 3^rd of a lineup made up of rookies is pretty unprecedented for this club it’s not that simple when it comes to judging it though. It’s not like this team doesn’t have its share of experienced NHLers making up the other two thirds of the line up.
Where do you fall on this whole thing? Are you a “Go easy on Turris, he’s playing in a role he’s not ready and/or cut out for” kind of guy or “Bro you didn’t score a goal for like 2 goddamn months, I’ve had it with you!” kind of guy? Let’s talk: Are you throwing the patio furniture you call a living room through the window when the Sens cant muster a goal on the powerplay or are you just blown away that its almost mid-March and they are not in last place / actually in the hunt?

VARADA SAYS:

Well, anyway I cut it, I can’t be disappointed with the 2013 Ottawa Senators (RIP fall 2012, which never happened in my books). You know how much more money the Philadelphia Flyers are spending on players right now when you take into account Spezza, Karlsson, Anderson and Michalek injuries? Almost FORTY MILLION DOLLARS. That’s a whole other low budget hockey team. That’s the equivalent of taking Ottawa and then saying, “here’s St. Louis, think you could use them?” It’s not only making me so proud of this team’s work ethic (how crushed would you or I have been to have lost the way they lost against Toronto last week? Not these guys. Up and at them), it’s making me rethink my whole attitude toward player motivation and development.

I know that Eric Condra and Colin Greening will never be 35 goal guys. How much does a 35 goal guy cost you? $4MM-$5MM? How much does Greening cost? A bag of potatoes (that can’t be sent down to the AHL)? Each of these guys is playing like they know the next game could be their last. Why on earth would someone like, say, Dallas, trade for Eric Cole for “stability” when you could have hungry, hard working kids play their hearts out for you night in and night out?

Which, don’t get me wrong, doesn’t mean they aren’t infuriating. We need to get bailed out every single night by a goaltender, and we’re basically one Steve Mason away from being Columbus. (Maybe more to the point: Bobrovsky plays lights out, Columbus starts looking like a real hockey team for the first team maybe every? Philly looks terrible and is going to miss the playoffs?) In any case, here’s a list of disappointments that I feel like I can’t complain about for all of the reasons above but here goes anyway:

1) Alfredsson has really lost of step. I don’t mean “he’s sluggish because he’s played 48 minutes tonight, all on the penalty kill” step-loss. Like, boneheaded giveaways, terrible passing, 0/5 on the shootout step-loss. It’s weird to see: humbling, existential even. TIME RAVAGES US ALL. (Still one of our best players, btw.)

2) Regin may not, actually, be an NHL player. There, I said it. Nice guy, strong on the puck, but officially cursed. I feel like every team in the league might think he could be an NHL player in the ideal situation, but there is literally no team in the league that wants a guy who isn’t quite skilled enough to be top six and isn’t quite rough enough to be bottom six.

3) I accept that there are pretty much no options after Turris (Z. Smith?) so what are you gonna do: NOT play him as your top line center? But you’ve gotta think this organization is really high on Turris to basically hand him the season in his second year as a Senator. I also wonder if Kyle “Phoenix-didn’t-give-me-playing-time” Turris is now Kyle “HOLY SHIT STOP KILLING ME” Turris. Pretty amazing that he’s not a minus player this year.

4) A running joke between you and I for a few years now has been “Who is the new Antoine Vermette?”, meaning, a guy who pulls off about twelve sick, amazing moves on his way to the net–all predicated on hard work and just fucking going for it–finds himself wide open with the goalie sprawling out of position, and then fans on the shot. It was Foligno for a while. The 2013 edition? Literally every single forward on this team. OTTAWA IS LEADING THE LEAGUE IN SHOTS PER GAME. (also second worst in the league in shots against, ahem.)

JAMES RUDELY CUTS IN:

I think what might be most surprising to me with this whole thing is how the media are not climbing over each other to try to bask in the glory of Paul MacLean’s moustache. I know I really harp on how Ottawa is one of the most fronted on teams but aside from the odd 20 second video entitled something like “Gitt’n-R-Done” on TSN’s website, I find MacLean’s amazing coaching was actually more of a discussion last year. I’m not saying the media needs to talk about this more, the second thing I harp about endlessly is how I like the Sens in the underdog role. I dont know if you all remember but the high expectations Sens teams of the past…not exactly great under pressure back in those days. Anyway, I’m just saying, if it were all kinds of other teams doing what Ottawa is doing they would be all over it. But in the mean time congratulations go out to Bruce Boudreau for somehow managing to get Ryan Getzlaf, Corey Perry and Bobby Ryan to play well. Remarkable!

James Taylor Day Preview: The Ottawa Hockey Team Hosts a Different City’s Hockey Team

Posted on March 11, 2013 by worsteverything

A little something called The Boston Ballet

Let’s start off with a wee song, shall we?

When you’re down and troubled / and you’re upseeeet with Kyle Turris / and nothin’ ohhh nothin’ is goin’ in the net / just close your eyes and remember / Dany Heatley has the same amount of points / except Heeaaaa –eee – eee –eetly / is a minus niiiine…(and makes 7.5 million dollars)

Papa’s got a brand new REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY COOL HAT!

I know that making fun of other teams’ woes only deflects from Ottawa’s struggles but it can be incredibly satisfying in stand up comedy format. Observe:

I just flew in from Tampa Bay and boy are the Capitals tied for 14^th in the East *Rim shot*

No, but seriously folks they are trailing the Islanders…who are ahead of the Flyers. *Rim shot*

I think about weird stuff like sometimes I’m at the grocery store and I think “What if Buffalo and Calgary were 2 of the highest paying teams in the league!” *Rim Shot, you guys*

Also, Calgary…that’s the joke. That’s my time you’ve been greaaaaaat!!!

COMEDY! *throws confetti in the air*

I’m just saying this year has had some really, really, challenging events but at least the Senators have a bit of a reason to not light up the standings. The depleted line up doesn’t make watching a losing skid any easier nor watching a 40 year old have to AGAIN step up and lead the team in points. Silver linings wise, despite all the heartstomping events that need not be named, this year has been easier for me to endure as a fan than watching the our Post-Cup Final run team that just could not get it together despite having a ton of talent in the line up. Safe to say, there are a lot of fans in that position out there scratching their heads as to why their teams are spiraling the toilet. I’m still fully appreciating that Ottawa is even above .500. If last season’s team was a scrappy underdog squad…then this team is basically a crew of hobo clowns who are roasting fish skeletons over a flaming barrel that was once full of poison goo under a bridge. Also, its raining outside in this metafore…I guess I’m going to talk about tonight’s game a bit…

Ladies and gentlemen, please rise and remove your hats for the unleashing of Robin Lehner.

Paul MacLean is a good coach (and according to his coffee mug I’m going to assume World’s Greatest Dad as well). Pitting Robin Lehner against his daddy issues was a very smart call in New York. I think we can agree that a Lehner with rage lasers for eyes is a good Lehner indeed. You know he was seeing all Rangers players as the experimental puck shooting machines that his father Ludvig Cornelius Lehner would test out on him in his youth before they were deemed safe enough for his precious student Handsome Looksqvist. That also probably explains why a puck that was going far slower than 100km/h confused him. Well, that and the fact that the person shooting it wasn’t screaming “I HAVE NO SON!!!” over and over again.
If Tuukka Rask gets the start tonight I’m hoping Paul MacLean leaves a book chronicling the Second Swedish Crusade of the 13^th Century in Lehnny’s locker in an attempt to angry up his blood and getting him thinking about ways he can honour the medieval conquest of Finland. Despite ultimately losing Lehner was outstanding in his last start against Boston. Much like Bishop’s last game against Philadelphia, it was more a matter of the rest of the team not getting their shit together to score a couple of goals to seal the thing. Though Rask isnt exactly easy to score on with a 1.97GAA.
With Zack Smith’s recent emergence as a hockey player and rookies Silfverberg and Zibanejad contributing lately one would think that Ottawa has tiny bit more offensive going right now.

Oh Looooooook Latendresse is Back! So…I’m going to Talk About That Instead of How Michalek Is Out…

Okay, so, I’ve admittedly been incredibly hard on Gui “Sens Store Clearance Rack Jersey of the Future” Latendresse this year. His signing has so far been how you saaaaaay? Ah, yes, a disappointing one. He obviously cant help his injuries. He wants to be out there you know not ending his NHL career. Really, it’s the situation surrounding him has made the frustration grow so mighty. I figured that Latendresse was a very high risk signing going into the season but if he became injured it wouldn’t be a big deal because MacLean could plug someone into his spot. Instead, P Mac has had to plug all available personnel into spots outside their comfort zone all over the place and Latendresse has been the top 6 injury guy with the least amount of goodwill built up. Hard to figure what to expect from Latendresse now that he’s back. We got to see very little in the six games he did play at the start of the season. Despite a sweet feed on a Turris goal (just to accentuate how long ago THAT was) he looked post-baconator sluggish out there. I dont know if having several weeks off in the meantime will help that sluggishness but if he can recapture that “one assist” magic well…that will mean that someone scored a goal. Get well soon everyone!

Finally:

Alleged top 6 player Peter Regin is a healthy scratch for tonight with Kaspars Daugavins drawing in. With the team’s current biggest need being getting points on the scoreboard one has to wonder why Regin is getting scra—oh 2 assists in 18 games? 2 assists in 18 games. Perspective putter: Human forklift Eric Gryba has 3 assists in 11 games. So…
On the subject of points, credit to Gonchar for notching 3 in his last 2 games. Keep up the good work 🙂 ………….. For fuck’s sake. 🙂 🙂 🙂

Congratulations go out to Jakob Silfverberg on finally besting Karlsson’s 63 shots on net. Only took 11 games for someone to catch up. Now can someone please top EK’s 6 goals? Something tells me that rookies Zibby, Silf and Wiercioch might start getting some real traction offense wise. btw to clearify “Something tells me” = I just really want that to happen. SPORTS ANALYSIS.

Enjoy the game! Oh wait its Boston and they are incredibly boring to watch! Enjoy making fun of the game on twitter with me!

James Day Preview: The New England Bears Host The Ottawa TomHanks

Posted on February 28, 2013 by worsteverything

Hi.

Let’s take about 3 polite minutes to sit here in silence and just leave blank where we would otherwise engage in a brief, friendly back and forth about how much it has snowed in the last 24 hours.

…

Good.

We are gathered here today to watch the surprising and lovable Ottawa Senators put their cinco game win streak on the line in Boston. Let us begin.

Real Talk: Is Boston just straight going to own Ottawa’s shit tonight or what?

Ugh, this team. I don’t like to be too much of a pessimist about hockey related things, I mean after all, Benjamin Franklin invented horse races for a reason, didn’t he? (Really though, did he? I’m not a very smart person.) We watch these things because we truly don’t know the outcome. What is this football where you have to bet on the score because the overall outcome of games is so predictable? Let’s see what other sports can I take digs at here?…Or or or or or or is this TENNIS where its about, “how many YEARS ON END can this player go without losing a tournament?” Oh good I’ve alienated everyone. Welp, moving forward, isn’t that unpredictability at least some of the charm of NHL hockey? Time and again it’s a complete and utter wonkfest a lot of the time. Remember last year’s exciting Vancouver vs. Pittsburgh Cup final?

Anyway, Ottawa should be in last place, the Rangers should be first, Washington’s horrible and Erik Karlsson STILL has more goals than Phil Kessel almost halfway through the season (!!!). Outrageous! But just when you’re starting to enjoy some goodish fortune in the weirdness of the season a reality milkshake gets thrown in your (my) (our) big stupid face: Boston quietly has only 2 losses on the season and a full 4 games in hand oh and the Leafs are a mere two points back in the standings. With the vast, vast improvement (vast) of the Canadiens, Toronto for once playing within an approximation of a team spending within 6 million of the cap and Boston on the creep-creep it’s safe to say the North East is going to be an absolute dog fight for the next 2 months. Especially when it comes to divisional games…Oop, question from the audience…go ahead,…can you speak up a bit please? Okay, great question, glad you asked…No we do not count the Buffalo Sabres as a National Hockey League club.

So that win against Montreal was less than convincing to put it lightly. It speaks to the aforementioned wonkfest that you can basically get dominated most of a game and still win on the back of your goalie. Awesome to see a goalie stealing a game for Ottawa. Usually its more your “Sens hammer Cam Ward with 51 shots in 2-0 loss” type fare. Five games is a pretty exceptional amount to win consecutively. Especially in the span of 8 days. Ottawa has had a rare 2 whole days off heading into tonight. These guys are warriors. I’m not counting them out completely.

Is it too much to ask for a whole other big game from Peter Regin?

I have spent a lot of time ragging on Peter Regin because he was our generation’s Guillaume Latendresse. A good player when playing WHICH IS ALMOST NEVER. Oops, I’m supposed to be talking about how good he’s been. So, as much as that was Bishop’s victory on Tuesday, primary assist on that ugly baby goes to Mr. Peter Jensen. He gave us all a sick amount of joy when he made Carey Price look like a 4 year old who just pissed their Osh Gosh B’gosh brand overalls while falling off a tire swing in that tense, tense winner. Photo evidence:

Good times? Great times.

Thanks bro! So, can we expect more from the Prince of Denmark or is this going to be the new, “Remember that great playoff round he had in 2009-2010?” Are people going to be defending his next cold streak by saying, “Yeah but he won us that 5^th straight game, that was NAILS!” The truth is Regin has 2 assists and Zack Smith goals in 13 games. If he’s the top 6 player people who aren’t me believe he is, he’ll need to at least measure up to the Silfverbergs, Zibanejads and hell even Condras in the lineup if he wants to continue to see more ice time like he got against Montreal. Oh, yes, and by the frigging way, Turris, Gonchar and Alfie, if you guys are looking to end your respective scoreless streaks now would be the ideal time.
Things I never thought I’d Say About Goaltending: “Can’t Complain.”

Count this guy among the people who were hoping to see Robin Lehner get the start against Boston tonight. I don’t think I need to remind everyone reading this (thanks for reading mom, Steve and Varada!) of Robin Drago’s shutout out last time he started against the Bruins. We Sens fans know the Greatest Love of All is a shutout against Beantown but what can you say to the decision to start a guy playing as great as Bishop has? Truth is, even if Bishop loses it’s not really a cause for concern ….
OH HERE’S AN UPDATE PEOPLE AN UP-FUCKING-DATE:
Robin Lehner will start against Boston tonight. Sorry so sloppy!

😉

So…Mark Stone is practicing with Ottawa?

Pretty exciting news to hear that Stoner is close to returning from injury and when he does he will get a shot with the big boys. Me, I am managing my expectations with a guy that hasn’t played in a while in the AHL let alone hasn’t played in the NHL in over 10 months (and one game at that). Still, it is exciting to hear about anyone with scoring touch coming back from injury and drawing into the line up. I just hope he gets eased in a little.

ENJOY THE GAME AND GET WELL SOON EVERYONE!

James Day Preview: Ottawa Senators Entertain (?) the Canadians of Royal Mountain

Posted on February 25, 2013 by worsteverything

Smooth Jimmy’s Key to Victory: Wait until Markov has to have a huge sneeze and RUSH THE ZONE!

Your father and I would like to talk to you about Kyle Turris.

So, I feel like I’ve been really patient about this so far. Kyle Turris is a human man who was unexpectedly thrust into the role of first line centre, a job that I time and again make clear that I think is one of the most difficult to have in the NHL. It’s also hard to front on a guy who’s leading a team in points (though it should be noted that Erik Karlsson is still in the top 3 despite not having played in over 10 days). Further, it isn’t like I’ve even been disappointed in Turris’ overall game of late. He’s been holding it down but I’m just going to say it: Kyle Turris hasn’t scored a goal in a month. Save for a shootout goal in a loss to the Pens on the 27^th of January, Turry’s last regulation tally came on January 25^th, 2013. You know the old poem:

30 days hath September

A month is a quarter of this fucking season

What the Jiminy Christmas is going on?

Even Dziurzynski has a GD biscuit in February!

Poems, right? Outrageous.

Look, I’m just a caveman, I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to score ONE goal in the NHL (let alone score them consistently) and hey he came extremely close against the Islanders with a deflection that I cannot believe went wide but hot damn am I the only one scratching their head at this after his extremely hot start? I know he was on the second line then but we’ve seen goals from call ups Zibanejad, Benoit, Dizzy and DaCosta in February. It’s not as though I think he should be scratched or anything I just hope the guy can get one before it becomes a “thing.” It’s been pretty clear how frustrated he’s been if you’ve seen him skate to the bench after yet another close one. Since I have placed “snakebitten” in the pit of overused hockey terms I will just simply state that a goal would take loads of internal pressure off of him and likely get him rolling a bit. Zibanejad and Silfverberg have looked loose and inspired after some recent goals. If Turris can get going maybe Ottawa can start to get some room to breathe in games.

So Montreal is a Thing btw…

On an interesting note, Montreal comes into this game as the Eastern Conference leader. Yeah, I didn’t really notice either. The Canadiens have been quietly getting it done posting up an impressive 12-4-2 record. Much like Ottawa I think that Montreal has a line up that may not be the New York Rangers in terms of star power but has a lot of know nothing know it alls that will sneak up on you. Right Sideshow Daniel Desharnais!? That and they have excellent goaltending. Ben Bishop will have a huge test on his hands tonight squaring off against Carey Price. Both goaltenders are putting up Craig Anderson-like numbers in their past 4 games. Price with a .946 save percentage and Bishop with a .945. Price has the edge in GAA but as Roberto Luongo taught us against Detroit, you’re only as good as your last game. Really excited to see how Bishop fares in this test. Especially with the added pressure of Robin Lehner lurking in the shadows performing obscure and ancient Norse goaltending rituals cutting mysterious symbols into his face with sharpened mini sticks by cave light (look, I’m really, really sorry about all of this…truly I am)

The funny thing about this game is that despite being the #1 team in the East, Montreal is a club Ottawa can beat (or at least tie if the refs don’t get in the way). I mean, Ottawa really exercised some demons beating Toronto on the cursed HNIC. Should Ottawa defeat Montreal in Gregulation (that’s right) tonight they will enter a tie with Montreal for 1^st in the North East Divisdpfaf I CANT BELIEVE IM EVEN TYPING THIS!!!!! I would be satisfied with this lineup just going .500, truly an impressive showing of late. With their 5th game in 8 days tonight this will be a slog for Ottawa, no doubt. I know I gave Turris the boots earlier but on a more positive note players you want to see heating up are doing so with Zibanejad, Silfverberg and Saturday night hero Colin Greening all riding modest point streaks heading into tonight’s match up. If they can keep trucking I like Ottawa’s chances.

Did you hear the news about Guillaume Latendresse?
Neither did I. Apparently everyone and their mother went for a twirl on the ice today which is about as useful to hear as how I have been trying to drink more water lately.

Related: I’ve been trying to drink more water lately.

The Rivalry That Wasn’t

Notice how no one really gives a hot F about the Habs fan presence at these games? Sure they’re there and it’s rough being a 21 year old franchise wedged between two of the most firmly established and fanatical camps in the league but the fact that it’s not really a big deal when MTL fans are in the house en masse says something about how leafs fans conduct themselves. Maybe having an iota of success in the last half century gives you less of a chip on your shoulder…

Enjoy the game!

James Day Preview: Ottawa Hosts The New York Dangers

Posted on February 21, 2013 by worsteverything

Hey would you two mind switching jerseys so I can like this picture?

Hi friends,

Just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing. How’s everything been? <Polite pause> hey that’s awesome…and your home renovations they’re going well I presu– <pause longer than I was expecting…still pausing> Well, that’s the thing with grout right? You have to– <pause>… HEY, listen so…shut up a second the New York Rangers are in town and I want to talk about it!

So for their 6^th game this week the Senators face off against their 2012 playoff opponent for the first time this season. Perhaps more accurately the Rangers face off against SOME of the Sens they faced in the first round as most of the line up the team is currently icing were not born before last year’s playoffs.

Just how inexperienced is this team at the NHL level? Take into consideration that if you count Mark Borowiecki 6 games this year and currently in the AHL and Jim O’Brien who played only 28 last year and is currently scratched, Ottawa has 10 rookies on their roster. Add them all up and they make for 179 NHL games between all 10. DAMN son that is a GREEN hockey club. To take it further, remove J.O.B. and Boroweicki and examine just the rookies who lined up against the Islanders on Tuesday and the combined total of NHL games drops to 122 or a 15.25 average of games played. To make that 122 games betwixt 8 players who will suit up for Ottawa tonight even weirder consider that Sergei Gonchar has played 125 playoff games. The fact that Ottawa is not getting blown out every game is truly impressive to me. I mean, kind of an interesting time to be a Sens fan. If a relatively healthy team beats them how do you not react like, “uh..yeah.”

How are our boys in red, black, white and some gold sparkle managing to compete? Definitely goaltending. Great to see both Bishop and Anderson keep Ottawa’s sesame seed buns from getting toasted in the past couple of wins. I think I heard “Tavares walks in all alone with the puck” about 20 times last game. Though the Islanders are not the strongest team and New Jersey are boringly very good this year the Senators benefited from strong back to back performances from both net minders in those two wins. It’s easy to give credit to Bishop and Andy because neither of those wins were very convincing. The Sens have really struggled on the power play and not gotten a goal from Kyle Turris or Zack Smith this month. It was encouraging to see scoring come from unlikely players (especially because most of the team is made up of unlikely players) and improved games from recent scratches Mika Zibanejad and Colin Greening and you just s know just scoring in general…even if it was against Rick DiPietro.

Tonight will be Ottawa another big test of the Post-Karlsson era. Though standings wise, the Rangers currently sit in 9th place they still possess a potent offence even without Rick Nash. On top of the always annoying duo Richards and Gaborik, Carl Hagelin has a very impressive 8 points in his last 5 games. Ottawa has their work cut out for them in terms of keeping up offensively facing handsome devil Henrik Lundqvist in net who has put up nearly Craig Anderson-like numbers in his last 5 starts (1.58GAA / .940SV%) – yes I just frigging said that. I love Craig Anderson and when I grow up I’m going to marry him…him or a carrot…whoever says yes first.

A third straight win would be huge in getting whats been a rough month back on track and will further be handy to have in the team’s back pocket in the tough months ahead.

What else? Mmmmm John Tortarella seems like an enormous jerk off so….

Enjoy the ~~James~~ Game!

GO SENSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Should Ottawa Make a Play for My Favorite Character on HBO’s Oz?

Posted on February 19, 2013 by worsteverything

Varada and James have a brief friendly chat about the prospect of Ottawa getting their disgusting little mitts on contract holdout Ryan O’Reilly. Come away with us!

Varada says:
I know I wrote just the other day that I don’t think Ottawa should trade for anyone, but then I didn’t think a guy like O’Reilly was available. When I think about “replacing Spezza,” I guess I was thinking of going after a similar guy–veteran, in his prime, high-priced–and that’s not who I think Ottawa should be going after. O’Reilly, on the other hand, fits the rebuild pretty damn well. He’s a centerman, 22, shoots left, and has already pretty much proven himself in the NHL. Much like last year’s Kyle Turris trade, this seems like a great fit.

TSN reported that Colorado would look for a roster player and a top prospect in return. In terms of top prospects, Ottawa has plenty to spare, especially if they’re bringing in a center. While I wouldn’t really want to part with Zibanejad or Stone, I wonder if the Avs could be swayed by Noesen, Puempel, or even Ceci. It’s the “roster player” part where I get stuck. Who on Ottawa’s roster could you see the team parting with? Da Costa? It’s not like they’re going to trade for Phillips or Gonchar.

James says:

Interesting as O’Reilly crossed my mind in the last thread but my opinion differs on acquiring him in the spirit of the rebuild. As you pointed out, this would be similar to the Kyle Turris trade but for me Ottawa already made this trade when they acquired Turris. Though I do quite like O’Reilly’s age, I think that the acquisition of this player has to be the long term kind (hence the contract holdout). I’m not sure if Spezza needs to be replaced like this quite just yet. Yes, he is 29 years old but I simply dont think the rebuild will take so long that he will no longer be relevant as player by the time Ottawa finds itself in the “contender” conversation. I recognize that I am an almost frustrating defender of Spezza but it’s simply because I firmly believe that Spezza’s skill set is rare like Mr. Clean with hair. O’Reilly is a very good player and his career best 55 points in 81 games last season is good. Kyle Turris good. Spezza has 621 points in 611 NHL games as well as 51 points in 53 playoff games. Is he a perfect player? No but that kind of production is something I don’t see the need to give away injuries problems and all. If, say, by the time Ottawa starts becoming a contender if Spezza is no longer a first line caliber centreman, that’s a pretty dynamite 2nd line pivot to have much like how Alfredsson is still a pretty fantastic 2nd line player even at age 40. The Sens have been an organization that values career players and I think that Spezza should be one as he has certainly delivered on his pedigree for 9 seasons now. Keep Spezza and I think he’ll give the team 1000 points eventually. Turris will likely be that important 55-60 per year guy.

Further the fact that Colorado wants a top prospect for O’Reilly is proof to me that the Av’s are willing to gamble that O’Reilly can be replaced by a top prospect. Maybe I’m a conservative with this but i think if Spezza is replaced it’s by a marquee FA of comparable quality that you have to pay through the nose for (IE Some other team’s Jason Spezza). That or…this is all a bunch of media hype and it just gets worked out between the two sides a la PK Subban was our generation’s Ryan O’Reilly.

I’m like a broken record with this but take into consideration all the bitching that went down / kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind of still goes down about giving up David Rundblad and a second for Kyle Turris. I dont think a week goes by without someone talking about him in a Sens blog (that isnt ours) comment section or on twitter or something. Turris has stepped right into the top 6 and played well and people still talk about Rundblad like he’s the one who got away. There’s little doubt that Rundblad will be a good player and we got one in return which is great. As Sens fans we know how much it sucks when it doesn’t work out. Where iz you going with this one James? We’ll put simply, I dont see the need to give up a roster player AND a prospect to be able to give Ryan O’Reilly his next contract as I think with the wealth of prospects that the organization currently holds we will soon discover we have our own O”Reilly that we had to surrender nothing beyond what we’ve already surrendered for the pick in the first place (Mike Fisher, Chris Kelly). I’m a quantity man when it comes to drafting and I think that’s something Ottawa should hang onto. It’s the Jason Spezzas of the world that are so hard to find so dont give them up when you dont have to.

James Day Preview: Ottawa Senators Host the Buffalo Groundhog Days

Posted on February 12, 2013 by worsteverything

You’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting but the day has come: Ottawa FINALLY takes on the Buffalo Sabres. It’s not all bad! Despite being old hat, a game against the Sabres can serve as a reliable slump buster. The proof is in the pudding that Buffalo is ripe for the picking with 2009 Calder Trophy winner and current Guinness World Record Holder for Longest Human Neck, Tyler Myers getting scratched the other night to send a message to the league’s most porous defence. Will Myers enter this game fired up or will his downward slide continue? All I know is that I want to see Erik Karlsson continue to Big Time him. You cannot WRITE that kind of comedy.

Thomas Vanek continues his contribution to making Buffalo the weirdest team in the North East by putting up 23 points in his last 12 games good for a 12^th place standing in conference. What is he, Mario Lemieux on the 1986 Penguins? …or better yet 1986 Buffalo Sabres?

Ottawa has a bit of soul searching (thing?) to do after turning what should have been a tap in into one of the most boring games in recent memory (recent memory being that 1-0 loss to Carolina). Ottawa’s sputtering offense has prompted to MacLean to shuffle his lines which I will discuss now in a segment called…

Shades of Clouston

Okay, so I’ll be the first to say that when you’re getting shut out by Al Montoya at home your offense does indeed need a bit of a spark but is it just me or are these line combos getting a bit on the psychedelic side?

MacLean’s Forward Lines Based on this Morning’s Practice:
Alfredsson-Zibanejad-Alfredsson

Turris-Smith-Frozen Dinner-Al Silfversson

Tugnutt-Tom Waits-@REAL_SpartaCat

…I’m no coach (I’m just a caveman) but sometimes I wonder what the better call is, mixing things up by putting a 19 year old with 16 NHL games under his belt that you WERE all about sheltering one week ago on the first or second line or just keeping the lines together for a couple of games to shake their respective sillies out and start scoring again. It’s not like they haven’t been scoring all year it’s just been on and off. I don’t know if another line shuffle will necessarily help with consistency but in fairness, MacLean has little choice in mixing things up as in addition to losing his premier playmaker (well aside from Karlsson) Peter Regin has fulfilled reaching the double digits in games played and has moved to his rightful place on the IR. On a related note I want to congratulate Guillaume Latendresse and wish him the best of luck in his recent decision to opt out of his NHL contract to fight the Islamist insurgency in Northern Mali. We hardly knew ye in the SIX GAMES you played here.

Honestly if you’re going to try out some wild stuff might as well be against Buffalo.

Well Well Get Well Soon We Want You to Get Well.

Krang Anderson gets the start against Ryan Miller. Prediction: Craig Anderson will somehow manage to have better hair than Ryan Miller.

DVD EXTRA:

James and Varada discuss their big stupid thoughts on whether or not Ottawa should make a trade to supplement for Spezza…with SEXY results (obvi).

Varada says:

Obviously being shut out by defensive juggernaut Al Montoya makes a person think long and hard about what the rest of this season is going to look like. Turris has played well, considering what we’re throwing at him. And I like seeing the kids get experience. But we’re in for a bumpy ride.

As for trading to replace Spezza, I’m gonna go back to my early season comments about how if there was ever a season when I was comfortable with this team collapsing, it’s this season. Already a quarter of a season in, you say? That’s just bonkers. I never want to live through the season-before-last, out-almost-immediately rebuild season again (how do you do it, Islanders fans?), so if there’s an opportunity to get a top five pick while only having to live through 48 games of failure, I say go for it. I can take having another rebuilding year knowing that we don’t suck as much as all that, we just ran into some hard luck injuries with Spezza and Cowen. Embracing the suck also allows this team to trade Gonchar at the deadline for a pick, which ain’t gonna happen if we’re on the bubble.

Obviously hoping for a tank job when you’re 6th in the conference is a bit weird, but you see the before-and-after-Spezza’s-injury team scoring, and who are we going to get to replace 4th-in-scoring-last-year Spezza with? We can probably trade for Weiss out of Florida or something, but then there goes your first rounder. So it just doesn’t seem worth it to me.

Ride it out, and if the wheels come off the wagon, so be it.

James Says:

I agree completely. If the asking price to trade for someone for 30 odd games is any of our prospects I don’t want to pay it. Look at our team. We love them and everything but they’ve been icing up to 3 AHL defenders and have already lost 2 top six forwards thus far. It’s pretty impressive that they are even competitive most nights. As a fan I’m okay with wherever this team lands in the standings in this weird year. The alarming thing is that, according to my source (Twitter), Ottawa had a scout at Columbus’ game last night. I will go on record in saying: Pleeeeeeease don’t make us cheer for Vinny Prospal (again). In a contract year Prospal’s definitely a prime candidate for a trade. Another likely lad in that conversation is perennial Murray boner-giver Derrick Brassard. With a combined 13 points (6 for Prospal, 7 for Brassard), those aren’t the kind of performances that are unattainable even with Ottawa’s depleted line up. I mean Zibanejad and Silfverbeg already have…some points and … let’s move on…If Murray makes any move I’d like it to be signing one of the many fine quality FA’s who are just sitting there. Like say, Jason Arnott or or… JESSIE WINCHESTER! I hear Nikita Filatov is 4^th in scoring on his Italian Roller Hockey League team the Milano Pizzas.

Song that describes my feelings about this game:

what else? OH mandatory plea to follow us on TWITTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Enjoy the game!

James Day Preview: The Ottawa Morrissey Take on The Carolina Will and Kate

Posted on February 7, 2013 by worsteverything

I once read an interview where Morrissey described Prince William and Kate Middleton as, “so dull as people that it is actually impossible to discuss them.” Oh Moz, I bow to the Queen of All Bitches. Anyway, if I am Morrissey the Carolina Hurricanes are my Will and Kate. This team has a frigging Stanley Cup banner and boasts some bona fide stars on their roster and yet I still find it a chore to even look at how they’ve performed in their last 5 games.
Oh, super the Hurricanes are a perfectly .500 team and their last game against Ottawa had a 1-0 result whew boy…it’s tired in here *yawn* ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

The biggest factor in this game for me in terms of entertainment value is that it’s going to be played at Scotiabank Place. I skipped out on last Friday’s game because I HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF THIS YOU KNOW!!! and I absolutely loathe games played at the PNC centre in Raleigh. That place has the most noticeably shitty ice in the league. This is especially frustrating when your favourite team has Jason Spezza on it and when he plays there none of his moves work, he gets frustrated and tends to play poorly. What’s that? Jason Spezza doesn’t play for this team right now? Oh, well let’s get into it then…

What’s Reasonable to Expect From Kyle Turris and How Much is it Going to Cost Me In Taxes?

Let me start by saying “Thank Jah the team has a guy this skilled right now”. While he’s not flying out there like he was at the very beginning of the season he doesn’t look at all lost and is still contributing with 2 points in his last two games. That said, other than a shootout marker in a losing effort against Pittsburgh, Turris hasn’t scored a regulation goal since the loss to the Scampi Tail Lightning on January 25^th. Soooo that was almost two weeks ago. I am a bit divided as to how to feel about Turris of late. He is holding it down in an unexpected role with competence which is awesome but also…two weeks is starting to be a long frigging time to go without a goal after potting 4 in 4 games to start the season. What say you gentle reader? Is Turris chugging along just fine or is he struggling to finish on the top line? If he continues to line up with players who possess shots like Alfie and Zibanejad do I could see him switching his role to playmaker and carry on stacking up the assists.

I Just Flew In From Raleigh and Boy Are My Erik Karlssons Playing Over 30 Minutes A Game.

This is already becoming a bit of a tired storyline. In my opinion, Karlsson’s 2+ minute shifts and 30+ minutes a game will only be a factor when HE ACTUALLY SHOWS ANY SIGNS OF FATIGUE. Tuesday was Karlsson’s 3rd game in 5 days and he logged 31 minutes and he was great offensively notching his 4^th goal and even saw time on a penalty kill that stymied the Sabres a perfect 4 times. He has been dominant nearly every time he has the puck on his stick even showing tremendous effort to regain possession when something goes wrong.

Apparently, tonight will see the return of Sergei Gonchar and the Ottawa debut of Mike Lundin. These two should serve to take a little pressure off of EK. I hope Gonchar is back in game shape as the person he’s ostensibly replacing in Patrick Wiercioch has not looked out of place in his stead the past few games. Mike Lundin I expect little more than an Ikea Billy Bookcase-like performance. Sounds like he is simply a lower pairing D man and this will be his first game with a new club so…get out there and be a $99.00 birch veneer bookshelf (as in be dependable as in don’t fuck up).

Craig Anderson’s 2^nd and 3^rd Period Shutout Streak Only Went 9 Games? Shame!

Tonight might end up being another goaltending duel like last game against the Canes that I thankfully didn’t watch but could imagine…The Sens have lit up a couple backups so far this season but Dan Ellis is no Jhonas “Big Rig Wobbler” Enroth. With a .942 PCT in his last 3 games Carolina could have quite the one-two punch in net with Cam Ward. Again, I say “could” because I am unsure because I fell asleep from boredom trying to research that claim. If the last game against Carolina demonstrated one thing it’s that even with the exception season Andy is having thus far he can’t win every game without scoring support. There are going to be a lot of nights where its going to take 4 goals to eek out a victory. Also shout out to André Benoit’s ballin’ shot block to save the game. Sloppy an affair as it was Tuesday’s win against Buffalo was the kind of full team effort the Sens will need on a consistent basis to stay high in the conference standing and make the post season.

~~Enjoy the game?~~

ENJOY THE GAME!

Anti-Stall Brothers Pump Up Jam:

James Day Preview: Ottawa Al Silfverssons Host the Buffalo Groupons.

Posted on February 5, 2013 by worsteverything

LETS GET THIS KARLSSON STAAARRRTEEEEEED (Get this KarlssoOOoooOOn StaaaAAAARrrrRRteeEEEeeeeeed)

Come Meet Me Up In This Tree So I Can Talk To You About Peter Regin for a Little

I am going to preface this for ~~those of~~ you ~~who don’t read this blog regularly~~ by saying I don’t believe in Peter Regin as a top 6 player anymore. Much like how Jonathan Cheechoo seems like a really, really nice guy; YES, Peter Regin DID have that one great playoff round but that doesn’t necessarily mean I give either guy’s shite point totals as Sens a pass.

I know Ottawa is in a super tough spot down the middle right now but I think the organization needs to REST IT’S CASE in terms of believing this guy will take it to the next level. Another example of a guy a lot of people thought just couldn’t take it to the next level is Nick Foligno. Last season, Nicky’s 47 point performance was just 5 points shy of Regin’s 53 CAREER points. Oh and that 4 points in a playoff round 3 years ago that is the go-to highlight of Regin’s career? Yeah, Foligno had 4 against the Rangers last year. Life goes on without Foligno like Vermette before him. Now Nicky (who was also a decent centre) is in Columbus while Regin was Centring a mix of the first and second lines for Ottawa on Sunday. I acknowledge that Regin is a very good possession player and has great wheels and I also acknowledge that Ottawa needs all the centres they can get with the current Spezzacrisis but watching Regin get knocked around in Montreal really tested my patience as a fan. Last year in his 10 games pre-injury *rubs face and takes deep breath* we witnessed an inspired performance from Regin but this year he has looked listless. Bad timing bro the team is/was really depending on you. Maybe it’s that he is all too aware that his career is basically on the line and with the short season he has even less time than usual to right the ship. Seeing as I am not Peter Regin’s agent (yet) I am completely fine with the Sens mixing it up by bringing in talented but undersized centre Stephane DaCosta. I don’t expect DaCosta to be too much of an upgrade from Regin per se but he might have a little more fire to his game and could be an effective powerplay engine for the second unit. If he doesn’t get knocked on his ass. Anything to get Regin or you know, THE TEAM (I must keep in mind that the entire team is not scoring right now not just poor #13) going. If the trend of numbers like 2 goals for and 3 against deciding games continues this will not be a team that makes the post season.

Really Getting Behind This Al Silfversson Kid!

In case you missed it, some Vintage* Bob Cole (who doesn’t sound like he’s 80 years old at all) on that Al Silfversson goal on Sunday. Also of note: THE GOAL. Alberto “Al” Silfversson made Carey Price’s glove look like it was in slow motion delivering on a Dave’s Memories of David Rundblad Stretch Pass Marinade (available at fine stores) from Patrick Wiercioch. Silfverberg has been a little quiet but solid with the Senators of late but hopefully his breakaway reminded him that he has a terrifying release that can even take elite NHL goaltenders by surprise. Lets look at it:

Doesn’t. Even. Wind. Up.

Hopefully many more to come from this Al Silfversson. Tonight he’ll be playing on a line with Milan Michalek and Zack Smith…so yeah, gunna be a weird season. Let’s move on 🙂

Ghost of Harry Caray says, “Ottawa Needs to get the Bats Goin”

After losing one game 1-0 and losing another 2-2 (WINK) Ottawa faces a much different challenge against Buffalo. This is a team that can score. Thomas Vanek (boasting a stupefying 19 points in 8 games) is Craig Anderson’s Stefan Urquelle. One a goal stopper the other a scoring machine. They’re the original odd couple! Both Buffalo and Ottawa are looking to take advantage of those respective performances (aaaaadoi). Ottawa’s offense has its work cut out for it facing Ryan Miller but his current 3.11 GAA helps explain why despite the ridiculous out put from Vanek (and Pomminville for that matter) Buffalo currently resides in the 12^th slot in the East. *UPDATE: Jhonas Enroth gets the nod in net for Buffalo*
As for Ottawa I ask where is that team that was scoring in bunches? Huh? What’s that? Oh Jason Spezza was on that team…hmmm. Well, question asked, question answered. Seriously though, score some fucking goals. Christian Ehrhoff, who on an hilarious, hilarious note is signed though to the fantastic Star Date 2021, is out tonight, the Senators have a great opportunity here to get back in the win column at home. People are paying good Groupon money to watch you boys play so give them something to cheer about!

Key to Victory: Buffalo stinks.

Bonus Prediction: I will extend my streak of not liking how the game is reffed to an impressive 10 straight!

Fake Offer: If André Benoit gets a goal tonight I will give you FORTY DOLLARS! That would be sweet. The scoring not me giving you $40.

Future Sports Experts Sales Rack Sens Jersey: Guillaume Latendresse #73 away white.

*Vintage in this case simply meaning “very old”.

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