Hi.

Let’s take about 3 polite minutes to sit here in silence and just leave blank where we would otherwise engage in a brief, friendly back and forth about how much it has snowed in the last 24 hours.

…

Good.

We are gathered here today to watch the surprising and lovable Ottawa Senators put their cinco game win streak on the line in Boston. Let us begin.

Real Talk: Is Boston just straight going to own Ottawa’s shit tonight or what?

Ugh, this team. I don’t like to be too much of a pessimist about hockey related things, I mean after all, Benjamin Franklin invented horse races for a reason, didn’t he? (Really though, did he? I’m not a very smart person.) We watch these things because we truly don’t know the outcome. What is this football where you have to bet on the score because the overall outcome of games is so predictable? Let’s see what other sports can I take digs at here?…Or or or or or or is this TENNIS where its about, “how many YEARS ON END can this player go without losing a tournament?” Oh good I’ve alienated everyone. Welp, moving forward, isn’t that unpredictability at least some of the charm of NHL hockey? Time and again it’s a complete and utter wonkfest a lot of the time. Remember last year’s exciting Vancouver vs. Pittsburgh Cup final?

Anyway, Ottawa should be in last place, the Rangers should be first, Washington’s horrible and Erik Karlsson STILL has more goals than Phil Kessel almost halfway through the season (!!!). Outrageous! But just when you’re starting to enjoy some goodish fortune in the weirdness of the season a reality milkshake gets thrown in your (my) (our) big stupid face: Boston quietly has only 2 losses on the season and a full 4 games in hand oh and the Leafs are a mere two points back in the standings. With the vast, vast improvement (vast) of the Canadiens, Toronto for once playing within an approximation of a team spending within 6 million of the cap and Boston on the creep-creep it’s safe to say the North East is going to be an absolute dog fight for the next 2 months. Especially when it comes to divisional games…Oop, question from the audience…go ahead,…can you speak up a bit please? Okay, great question, glad you asked…No we do not count the Buffalo Sabres as a National Hockey League club.

So that win against Montreal was less than convincing to put it lightly. It speaks to the aforementioned wonkfest that you can basically get dominated most of a game and still win on the back of your goalie. Awesome to see a goalie stealing a game for Ottawa. Usually its more your “Sens hammer Cam Ward with 51 shots in 2-0 loss” type fare. Five games is a pretty exceptional amount to win consecutively. Especially in the span of 8 days. Ottawa has had a rare 2 whole days off heading into tonight. These guys are warriors. I’m not counting them out completely.

Is it too much to ask for a whole other big game from Peter Regin?

I have spent a lot of time ragging on Peter Regin because he was our generation’s Guillaume Latendresse. A good player when playing WHICH IS ALMOST NEVER. Oops, I’m supposed to be talking about how good he’s been. So, as much as that was Bishop’s victory on Tuesday, primary assist on that ugly baby goes to Mr. Peter Jensen. He gave us all a sick amount of joy when he made Carey Price look like a 4 year old who just pissed their Osh Gosh B’gosh brand overalls while falling off a tire swing in that tense, tense winner. Photo evidence:

Good times? Great times.

Thanks bro! So, can we expect more from the Prince of Denmark or is this going to be the new, “Remember that great playoff round he had in 2009-2010?” Are people going to be defending his next cold streak by saying, “Yeah but he won us that 5^th straight game, that was NAILS!” The truth is Regin has 2 assists and Zack Smith goals in 13 games. If he’s the top 6 player people who aren’t me believe he is, he’ll need to at least measure up to the Silfverbergs, Zibanejads and hell even Condras in the lineup if he wants to continue to see more ice time like he got against Montreal. Oh, yes, and by the frigging way, Turris, Gonchar and Alfie, if you guys are looking to end your respective scoreless streaks now would be the ideal time.
Things I never thought I’d Say About Goaltending: “Can’t Complain.”

Count this guy among the people who were hoping to see Robin Lehner get the start against Boston tonight. I don’t think I need to remind everyone reading this (thanks for reading mom, Steve and Varada!) of Robin Drago’s shutout out last time he started against the Bruins. We Sens fans know the Greatest Love of All is a shutout against Beantown but what can you say to the decision to start a guy playing as great as Bishop has? Truth is, even if Bishop loses it’s not really a cause for concern ….
OH HERE’S AN UPDATE PEOPLE AN UP-FUCKING-DATE:
Robin Lehner will start against Boston tonight. Sorry so sloppy!

😉

So…Mark Stone is practicing with Ottawa?

Pretty exciting news to hear that Stoner is close to returning from injury and when he does he will get a shot with the big boys. Me, I am managing my expectations with a guy that hasn’t played in a while in the AHL let alone hasn’t played in the NHL in over 10 months (and one game at that). Still, it is exciting to hear about anyone with scoring touch coming back from injury and drawing into the line up. I just hope he gets eased in a little.

ENJOY THE GAME AND GET WELL SOON EVERYONE!

Smooth Jimmy’s Key to Victory: Wait until Markov has to have a huge sneeze and RUSH THE ZONE!

Your father and I would like to talk to you about Kyle Turris.

So, I feel like I’ve been really patient about this so far. Kyle Turris is a human man who was unexpectedly thrust into the role of first line centre, a job that I time and again make clear that I think is one of the most difficult to have in the NHL. It’s also hard to front on a guy who’s leading a team in points (though it should be noted that Erik Karlsson is still in the top 3 despite not having played in over 10 days). Further, it isn’t like I’ve even been disappointed in Turris’ overall game of late. He’s been holding it down but I’m just going to say it: Kyle Turris hasn’t scored a goal in a month. Save for a shootout goal in a loss to the Pens on the 27^th of January, Turry’s last regulation tally came on January 25^th, 2013. You know the old poem:

30 days hath September

A month is a quarter of this fucking season

What the Jiminy Christmas is going on?

Even Dziurzynski has a GD biscuit in February!

Poems, right? Outrageous.

Look, I’m just a caveman, I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to score ONE goal in the NHL (let alone score them consistently) and hey he came extremely close against the Islanders with a deflection that I cannot believe went wide but hot damn am I the only one scratching their head at this after his extremely hot start? I know he was on the second line then but we’ve seen goals from call ups Zibanejad, Benoit, Dizzy and DaCosta in February. It’s not as though I think he should be scratched or anything I just hope the guy can get one before it becomes a “thing.” It’s been pretty clear how frustrated he’s been if you’ve seen him skate to the bench after yet another close one. Since I have placed “snakebitten” in the pit of overused hockey terms I will just simply state that a goal would take loads of internal pressure off of him and likely get him rolling a bit. Zibanejad and Silfverberg have looked loose and inspired after some recent goals. If Turris can get going maybe Ottawa can start to get some room to breathe in games.

So Montreal is a Thing btw…

On an interesting note, Montreal comes into this game as the Eastern Conference leader. Yeah, I didn’t really notice either. The Canadiens have been quietly getting it done posting up an impressive 12-4-2 record. Much like Ottawa I think that Montreal has a line up that may not be the New York Rangers in terms of star power but has a lot of know nothing know it alls that will sneak up on you. Right Sideshow Daniel Desharnais!? That and they have excellent goaltending. Ben Bishop will have a huge test on his hands tonight squaring off against  Carey Price. Both goaltenders are putting up Craig Anderson-like numbers in their past 4 games. Price with a .946 save percentage and Bishop with a .945. Price has the edge in GAA but as Roberto Luongo taught us against Detroit, you’re only as good as your last game. Really excited to see how Bishop fares in this test. Especially with the added pressure of Robin Lehner lurking in the shadows performing obscure and ancient Norse goaltending rituals cutting mysterious symbols into his face with sharpened mini sticks by cave light (look, I’m really, really sorry about all of this…truly I am)

The funny thing about this game is that despite being the #1 team in the East, Montreal is a  club Ottawa can beat (or at least tie if the refs don’t get in the way). I mean, Ottawa really exercised some demons beating Toronto on the cursed HNIC. Should Ottawa defeat Montreal in Gregulation (that’s right) tonight they will enter a tie with Montreal for 1^st in the North East Divisdpfaf I CANT BELIEVE IM EVEN TYPING THIS!!!!! I would be satisfied with this lineup just going .500, truly an impressive showing of late. With their 5th game in 8 days tonight this will be a slog for Ottawa, no doubt. I know I gave Turris the boots earlier but on a more positive note players you want to see heating up are doing so with Zibanejad, Silfverberg and Saturday night hero Colin Greening all riding modest point streaks heading into tonight’s match up. If they can keep trucking I like Ottawa’s chances.

Did you hear the news about Guillaume Latendresse?
Neither did I. Apparently everyone and their mother went for a twirl on the ice today which is about as useful to hear as how I have been trying to drink more water lately.

Related: I’ve been trying to drink more water lately.

The Rivalry That Wasn’t

Notice how no one really gives a hot F about the Habs fan presence at these games? Sure they’re there and it’s rough being a 21 year old franchise wedged between two of the most firmly established and fanatical camps in the league but the fact that it’s not really a big deal when MTL fans are in the house en masse says something about how leafs fans conduct themselves. Maybe having an iota of success in the last half century gives you less of a chip on your shoulder…

Enjoy the game!

Hey would you two mind switching jerseys so I can like this picture?

Hi friends,

Just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing. How’s everything been? <Polite pause> hey that’s awesome…and your home renovations they’re going well I presu– <pause longer than I was expecting…still pausing> Well, that’s the thing with grout right? You have to–  <pause>… HEY, listen so…shut up a second the New York Rangers are in town and I want to talk about it!

So for their 6^th game this week the Senators face off against their 2012 playoff opponent for the first time this season. Perhaps more accurately the Rangers face off against SOME of the Sens they faced in the first round as most of the line up the team is currently icing were not born before last year’s playoffs.

Just how inexperienced is this team at the NHL level? Take into consideration that if you count Mark Borowiecki 6 games this year and currently in the AHL and Jim O’Brien who played only 28 last year and is currently scratched, Ottawa has 10 rookies on their roster. Add them all up and they make for 179 NHL games between all 10. DAMN son that is a GREEN hockey club. To take it further, remove J.O.B. and Boroweicki and examine just the rookies who lined up against the Islanders on Tuesday and the combined total of NHL games drops to 122 or a 15.25 average of games played. To make that 122 games betwixt 8 players who will suit up for Ottawa tonight even weirder consider that Sergei Gonchar has played 125 playoff games. The fact that Ottawa is not getting blown out every game is truly impressive to me. I mean, kind of an interesting time to be a Sens fan. If a relatively healthy team beats them how do you not react like, “uh..yeah.”

How are our boys in red, black, white and some gold sparkle managing to compete? Definitely goaltending. Great to see both Bishop and Anderson keep Ottawa’s sesame seed buns from getting toasted in the past couple of wins. I think I heard “Tavares walks in all alone with the puck” about 20 times last game. Though the Islanders are not the strongest team and New Jersey are boringly very good this year the Senators benefited from strong back to back performances from both net minders in those two wins. It’s easy to give credit to Bishop and Andy because neither of those wins were very convincing. The Sens have really struggled on the power play and not gotten a goal from Kyle Turris or Zack Smith this month. It was encouraging to see scoring come from unlikely players (especially because most of the team is made up of unlikely players) and improved games from recent scratches Mika Zibanejad and Colin Greening and you just s know just scoring in general…even if it was against Rick DiPietro.

Tonight will be Ottawa another big test of the Post-Karlsson era. Though standings wise, the Rangers currently sit in 9th place they still possess a potent offence even without Rick Nash. On top of the always annoying duo Richards and Gaborik, Carl Hagelin has a very impressive 8 points in his last 5 games. Ottawa has their work cut out for them in terms of keeping up offensively facing handsome devil Henrik Lundqvist in net who has put up nearly Craig Anderson-like numbers in his last 5 starts (1.58GAA / .940SV%) – yes I just frigging said that. I love Craig Anderson and when I grow up I’m going to marry him…him or a carrot…whoever says yes first.

A third straight win would be huge in getting whats been a rough month back on track and will further be handy to have in the team’s back pocket in the tough months ahead.

What else? Mmmmm John Tortarella seems like an enormous jerk off so….

Enjoy the James Game!

GO SENSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

You’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting but the day has come: Ottawa FINALLY takes on the Buffalo Sabres. It’s not all bad! Despite being old hat, a game against the Sabres can serve as a reliable slump buster. The proof is in the pudding that Buffalo is ripe for the picking with 2009 Calder Trophy winner and current Guinness World Record Holder for Longest Human Neck, Tyler Myers getting scratched the other night to send a message to the league’s most porous defence. Will Myers enter this game fired up or will his downward slide continue? All I know is that I want to see Erik Karlsson continue to Big Time him. You cannot WRITE that kind of comedy.

Thomas Vanek continues his contribution to making Buffalo the weirdest team in the North East by putting up 23 points in his last 12 games good for a 12^th place standing in conference. What is he, Mario Lemieux on the 1986 Penguins? …or better yet 1986 Buffalo Sabres?

Ottawa has a bit of soul searching (thing?) to do after turning what should have been a tap in into one of the most boring games in recent memory (recent memory being that 1-0 loss to Carolina). Ottawa’s sputtering offense has prompted to MacLean to shuffle his lines which I will discuss now in a segment called…

Shades of Clouston

Okay, so I’ll be the first to say that when you’re getting shut out by Al Montoya at home your offense does indeed need a bit of a spark but is it just me or are these line combos getting a bit on the psychedelic side?

MacLean’s Forward Lines Based on this Morning’s Practice:
Alfredsson-Zibanejad-Alfredsson

Turris-Smith-Frozen Dinner-Al Silfversson

Tugnutt-Tom Waits-@REAL_SpartaCat

…I’m no coach (I’m just a caveman) but sometimes I wonder what the better call is, mixing things up by putting a 19 year old with 16 NHL games under his belt that you WERE all about sheltering one week ago on the first or second line or just keeping the lines together for a couple of games to shake their respective sillies out and start scoring again. It’s not like they haven’t been scoring all year it’s just been on and off. I don’t know if another line shuffle will necessarily help with consistency but in fairness, MacLean has little choice in mixing things up as in addition to losing his premier playmaker (well aside from Karlsson) Peter Regin has fulfilled reaching the double digits in games played and has moved to his rightful place on the IR. On a related note I want to congratulate Guillaume Latendresse and wish him the best of luck in his recent decision to opt out of his NHL contract to fight the Islamist insurgency in Northern Mali. We hardly knew ye in the SIX GAMES you played here.

Honestly if you’re going to try out some wild stuff might as well be against Buffalo.

Well Well Get Well Soon We Want You to Get Well.

Krang Anderson gets the start against Ryan Miller. Prediction: Craig Anderson will somehow manage to have better hair than Ryan Miller.

DVD EXTRA: 

James and Varada discuss their big stupid thoughts on whether or not Ottawa should make a  trade to supplement for Spezza…with SEXY results (obvi).

Varada says:

Obviously being shut out by defensive juggernaut Al Montoya makes a person think long and hard about what the rest of this season is going to look like. Turris has played well, considering what we’re throwing at him. And I like seeing the kids get experience. But we’re in for a bumpy ride.

As for trading to replace Spezza, I’m gonna go back to my early season comments about how if there was ever a season when I was comfortable with this team collapsing, it’s this season. Already a quarter of a season in, you say? That’s just bonkers. I never want to live through the season-before-last, out-almost-immediately rebuild season again (how do you do it, Islanders fans?), so if there’s an opportunity to get a top five pick while only having to live through 48 games of failure, I say go for it. I can take having another rebuilding year knowing that we don’t suck as much as all that, we just ran into some hard luck injuries with Spezza and Cowen. Embracing the suck also allows this team to trade Gonchar at the deadline for a pick, which ain’t gonna happen if we’re on the bubble.

Obviously hoping for a tank job when you’re 6th in the conference is a bit weird, but you see the before-and-after-Spezza’s-injury team scoring, and who are we going to get to replace 4th-in-scoring-last-year Spezza with? We can probably trade for Weiss out of Florida or something, but then there goes your first rounder. So it just doesn’t seem worth it to me.

Ride it out, and if the wheels come off the wagon, so be it.

James Says: 

I agree completely. If the asking price to trade for someone for 30 odd games is any of our prospects I don’t want to pay it. Look at our team. We love them and everything but they’ve been icing up to 3 AHL defenders and have already lost 2 top six forwards thus far. It’s pretty impressive that they are even competitive most nights. As a fan I’m okay with wherever this team lands in the standings in this weird year. The alarming thing is that, according to my source (Twitter), Ottawa had a scout at Columbus’ game last night. I will go on record in saying: Pleeeeeeease don’t make us cheer for Vinny Prospal (again). In a contract year Prospal’s definitely a prime candidate for a trade. Another likely lad in that conversation is perennial Murray boner-giver Derrick Brassard. With a combined 13 points  (6 for Prospal, 7 for Brassard), those aren’t the kind of performances that are unattainable even with Ottawa’s depleted line up. I mean Zibanejad and Silfverbeg already have…some points and … let’s move on…If Murray makes any move I’d like it to be signing one of the many fine quality FA’s who are just sitting there. Like say, Jason Arnott or  or… JESSIE WINCHESTER! I hear Nikita Filatov is 4^th in scoring on his Italian Roller Hockey League team the Milano Pizzas.

Song that describes my feelings about this game:

what else? OH mandatory plea to follow us on TWITTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Enjoy the game!

I once read an interview where Morrissey described Prince William and Kate Middleton as, “so dull as people that it is actually impossible to discuss them.” Oh Moz, I bow to the Queen of All Bitches. Anyway, if I am Morrissey the Carolina Hurricanes are my Will and Kate. This team has a frigging Stanley Cup banner and boasts some bona fide stars on their roster and yet I still find it a chore to even look at how they’ve performed in their last 5 games.
Oh, super the Hurricanes are a perfectly .500 team and their last game against Ottawa had a 1-0 result whew boy…it’s tired in here *yawn* ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

The biggest factor in this game for me in terms of entertainment value is that it’s going to be played at Scotiabank Place. I skipped out on last Friday’s game because I HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF THIS YOU KNOW!!! and I absolutely loathe games played at the PNC centre in Raleigh. That place has the most noticeably shitty ice in the league. This is especially frustrating when your favourite team has Jason Spezza on it and when he plays there none of his moves work, he gets frustrated and tends to play poorly. What’s that? Jason Spezza doesn’t play for this team right now? Oh, well let’s get into it then…

What’s Reasonable to Expect From Kyle Turris and How Much is it Going to Cost Me In Taxes?

Let me start by saying “Thank Jah the team has a guy this skilled right now”. While he’s not flying out there like he was at the very beginning of the season he doesn’t look at all lost and is still contributing with 2 points in his last two games. That said, other than a shootout marker in a losing effort against Pittsburgh, Turris hasn’t scored a regulation goal since the loss to the Scampi Tail Lightning on January 25^th. Soooo  that was almost two weeks ago. I am a bit divided as to how to feel about Turris of late. He is holding it down in an unexpected role with competence which is awesome but also…two weeks is starting to be a long frigging time to go without a goal after potting 4 in 4 games to start the season. What say you gentle reader? Is Turris chugging along just fine or is he struggling to finish on the top line? If he continues to line up with players who possess shots like Alfie and Zibanejad do I could see him switching his role to playmaker and carry on stacking up the assists.

I Just Flew In From Raleigh and Boy Are My Erik Karlssons Playing Over 30 Minutes A Game.

This is already becoming a bit of a tired storyline. In my opinion, Karlsson’s 2+ minute shifts and 30+ minutes a game will only be a factor when HE ACTUALLY SHOWS ANY SIGNS OF FATIGUE. Tuesday was Karlsson’s 3rd game in 5 days and he logged 31 minutes and he was great offensively notching his 4^th goal and even saw time on a penalty kill that stymied the Sabres a perfect 4 times. He has been dominant nearly every time he has the puck on his stick even showing tremendous effort to regain possession when something goes wrong.

Apparently, tonight will see the return of Sergei Gonchar and the Ottawa debut of Mike Lundin. These two should serve to take a little pressure off of EK. I hope Gonchar is back in game shape as the person he’s ostensibly replacing in Patrick Wiercioch has not looked out of place in his stead the past few games. Mike Lundin I expect little more than an Ikea Billy Bookcase-like performance. Sounds like he is simply a lower pairing D man and this will be his first game with a new club so…get out there and be a $99.00 birch veneer bookshelf (as in be dependable as in don’t fuck up).

Craig Anderson’s 2^nd and 3^rd Period Shutout Streak Only Went 9 Games? Shame!

Tonight might end up being another goaltending duel like last game against the Canes that I thankfully didn’t watch but could imagine…The Sens have lit up a couple backups so far this season but Dan Ellis is no Jhonas “Big Rig Wobbler” Enroth. With a .942 PCT in his last 3 games Carolina could have quite the one-two punch in net with Cam Ward. Again, I say “could” because I am unsure because I fell asleep from boredom trying to research that claim. If the last game against Carolina demonstrated one thing it’s that even with the exception season Andy is having thus far he can’t win every game without scoring support. There are going to be a lot of nights where its going to take 4 goals to eek out a victory. Also shout out to André Benoit’s ballin’ shot block to save the game. Sloppy an affair as it was Tuesday’s win against Buffalo was the kind of full team effort the Sens will need on a consistent basis to stay high in the conference standing and make the post season.

Enjoy the game?

ENJOY THE GAME!

Anti-Stall Brothers Pump Up Jam:

LETS GET THIS KARLSSON STAAARRRTEEEEEED (Get this KarlssoOOoooOOn StaaaAAAARrrrRRteeEEEeeeeeed)

Come Meet Me Up In This Tree So I Can Talk To You About Peter Regin for a Little

I am going to preface this for those of you who don’t read this blog regularly by saying I don’t believe in Peter Regin as a top 6 player anymore. Much like how Jonathan Cheechoo seems like a really, really nice guy; YES, Peter Regin DID have that one great playoff round but that doesn’t necessarily mean I give either guy’s shite point totals as Sens a pass.

I know Ottawa is in a super tough spot down the middle right now but I think the organization needs to REST IT’S CASE in terms of believing this guy will take it to the next level. Another example of a guy a lot of people thought just couldn’t take it to the next level is Nick Foligno. Last season, Nicky’s 47 point performance was just 5 points shy of Regin’s 53 CAREER points. Oh and that 4 points in a playoff round 3 years ago that is the go-to highlight of Regin’s career? Yeah, Foligno had 4 against the Rangers last year. Life goes on without Foligno like Vermette before him. Now Nicky (who was also a decent centre) is in Columbus while Regin was Centring a mix of the first and second lines for Ottawa on Sunday. I acknowledge that Regin is a very good possession player and has great wheels and I also acknowledge that Ottawa needs all the centres they can get with the current Spezzacrisis but watching Regin get knocked around in Montreal really tested my patience as a fan. Last year in his 10 games pre-injury *rubs face and takes deep breath* we witnessed an inspired performance from Regin but this year he has looked listless. Bad timing bro the team is/was really depending on you. Maybe it’s that he is all too aware that his career is basically on the line and with the short season he has even less time than usual to right the ship. Seeing as I am not Peter Regin’s agent (yet) I am completely fine with the Sens mixing it up by bringing in talented but undersized centre  Stephane DaCosta. I don’t expect DaCosta to be too much of an upgrade from Regin per se but he might have a little more fire to his game and could be an effective powerplay engine for the second unit. If he doesn’t get knocked on his ass. Anything to get Regin or you know, THE TEAM (I must keep in mind that the entire team is not scoring right now not just poor #13) going. If the trend of numbers like 2 goals for and 3 against deciding games continues this will not be a team that makes the post season.

Really Getting Behind This Al Silfversson Kid!

In case you missed it, some Vintage* Bob Cole (who doesn’t sound like he’s 80 years old at all) on that Al Silfversson goal on Sunday. Also of note: THE GOAL. Alberto “Al” Silfversson made Carey Price’s glove look like it was in slow motion delivering on a Dave’s Memories of David Rundblad Stretch Pass Marinade (available at fine stores) from Patrick Wiercioch. Silfverberg has been a little quiet but solid with the Senators of late but hopefully his breakaway reminded him that he has a terrifying release that can even take elite NHL goaltenders by surprise. Lets look at it:

Doesn’t. Even. Wind. Up.

Hopefully many more to come from this Al Silfversson. Tonight he’ll be playing on a line with Milan Michalek and Zack Smith…so yeah, gunna be a weird season. Let’s move on 🙂

Ghost of Harry Caray says, “Ottawa Needs to get the Bats Goin”

After losing one game 1-0 and losing another 2-2 (WINK) Ottawa faces a much different challenge against Buffalo. This is a team that can score. Thomas Vanek (boasting a stupefying 19 points in 8 games) is Craig Anderson’s Stefan Urquelle. One a goal stopper the other a scoring machine. They’re the original odd couple! Both Buffalo and Ottawa are looking to take advantage of those respective performances (aaaaadoi). Ottawa’s offense has its work cut out for it facing Ryan Miller but his current 3.11 GAA helps explain why despite the ridiculous out put from Vanek (and Pomminville for that matter) Buffalo currently resides in the 12^th slot in the East. *UPDATE: Jhonas Enroth gets the nod in net for Buffalo*
As for Ottawa I ask where is that team that was scoring in bunches? Huh? What’s that? Oh Jason Spezza was on that team…hmmm. Well, question asked, question answered. Seriously though, score some fucking goals. Christian Ehrhoff, who on an hilarious, hilarious note is signed though to the fantastic Star Date 2021, is out tonight, the Senators have a great opportunity here to get back in the win column at home. People are paying good Groupon money to watch you boys play so give them something to cheer about!

Key to Victory: Buffalo stinks.

Bonus Prediction: I will extend my streak of not liking how the game is reffed to an impressive 10 straight!

Fake Offer: If André Benoit gets a goal tonight I will give you FORTY DOLLARS! That would be sweet. The scoring not me giving you $40.

Future Sports Experts Sales Rack Sens Jersey: Guillaume Latendresse #73 away white.

*Vintage in this case simply meaning “very old”.

You know when you’re sitting down to sip at a snifter of Mrs. Butterworth’s gelatinous mash LIKE A GENTLEMAN and you’re just about to write a James Day Preview (your name is James in this story) about how the Ottawa Senators played a statement game against Montreal and what happens? Jason Spezza dies and that just dominates the news cycle for the next couple of days. Now you have to come up with something new. Think you/me THINK…I know…

TONIGHT IS A STATEMENT GAME!!!

It really is though. As much as that last game was one too: A divisional rival on a winning streak with a hot powerplay rolls into town and are stymied by a masterful performance from Craig Anderson and plenty of goals from throughout the depth chart. Yes, they will have Gonchar back in the line up tonight and that’s a plus but unlike last game there’s a new pressure to get it done without the possibility of the teams #1 centre coming back any time soon. Though Carolina is not as much of a threat as the streaking Canadiens were per se, there’s something about games against the Hurricanes. They are never a walk in the park. Jeff Skinner has 5 goals by the way. Cover his shit.
I know the Senators can’t be expected to win every game (esp the 4^th game of the week on the road on probably the league’s most noticeably shitty ice) but each W they put up now is one less they have to under the pressure of the end of season playoff race. I’m really excited to see the FaceSmasherz line of Greening-Smith-Neil do their thing. Would love to see Smith get one tonight. Something tells me their’s a quiet confidence in that dressing room that they can keep this ship afloat in the absence of Spezza. A victory would do wonders to further build that confidence.

Can We Talk About How Amazing Erik Karlsson Is?

Although he had one assist on the night how much of a frigging BO$$ was Erik Karlsson all game long against Montreal? He deserved more. Is there anyone that he doesn’t make look a step slow? Numerous amazing plays each period. I don’t know if he has a third lung no one knows about or what. The guy played 29 and a half minutes and didn’t even look bagged at any point. Twitter was all atwitter (last time I use that) about how it was dumb of MacLean to play him for 9 minutes in the third period even though the game was well in hand. That’s a pretty good point but I am interested to see if that even matters with this kid. He’s on some Weapon X shit. With Spezza out, Karlsson will be doing double duty as first pairing defenseman and first line centre. I feel fine about that.

Heyyyyyyyyyyy Guillaume Latendresse Has Already Missed Time Twice and the Season Isn’t Even Ten Games Old

Since he was acquired I’ve spend a fair share of time poking fun at Tender Willy. Injury this, Fatendresse that. It was all in good fun. For all my “get ready for the Dollar Store Version of Cheechoo” posturing I was hoping deep down to be pleasantly surprised by a solid but not flashy out put from Latendresse. His performance so far hasn’t been the worst or anything, he’s been slow out of the gate but that was to be expected. What’s worrying me is that he’s already missed two games. One for injury (eeee) and tonight the flu. Now, obviously Gui-Gui cant help getting the flu but as Papa Alfie showed against Washington even the best players don’t quite look their best when they return “healthy enough to play.” I foresee Latendresse getting his game together suffering a bit of a set back so mentally preparing for more of the same from him.
Zibanejad NOT Za-bin-ejad…You Fuckin’ Idiots.

Kid’s looked dynamite out there. Bringing a game of strength, speed and getting kicked out of the faceoff circleocity. He said something interesting before his first game regarding what advice the coaching staff had given him about his game. He said they wanted to see him play less tentative to go out and make things happen. Not defer to others to dictate the play. I have to say you can really notice he’s doing that and the results speak for themselves. I guess playing with Eric Condra gives you a shoot-first mentality. For real though, Condra has been quietly awesome out there. Very excited to see Condra and Zibby playing together again they’ve gelled nicely. Speaking of dictating play, I cant imagine how hard it is to be a rookie and suddenly start the season on a line with Spezza and Michalek and not shit yourself and just try to get the puck to one of the guys how had over 30 goals before Malkin strips you of the puck. That said, if Silfverberg just played with a bit more of that intensity he showed in Binghamton, I think he’ll start rolling. He’s been bumped down to the 4^th line to start the game but that’s not the worst thing in the world. Takes the pressure off him a bit and hey, Zibby was playing bottom six the last two games and he made things happen.

Every Game I’m Anderson’ Every Game I’m Anderson’
Anderson gets the start A DOI OI OI OI OI OI OI OI. Thought they’d give this one to Bishop but I’m just going to leave that there because I don’t want to jinx it. Someone stupid starts for Carolina. How hard is this team to like. They even have Alex Semin now.
ENJOY THE GAME!

Oh, hi everybody. I’m sick and in bed LET’S DOOOOOOO THIS!

My Father Always Said The Saddest Thing In Life Is Wasted Talent

Just kidding I’ve never met my dad because he’s professional basketball player. Remember when the Washington Captials were considered a perennial cup contender? I’m not saying they’re a bunch of Laydown McGillicuddys  (help get #laydownmcgillicuddys trending worldwide!) but squeaking their one win on the season past the Buffalo Sabres has these guys flirting with Bronze Game status. There are obviously still some very dangerous players on this team but are they as threatening as they once were? I’m looking in your general direction Alex Brovechkin. Look, I find it kind of hard not to love this guy but imagine for a minute he played on the Senators. How bummed out would you be with him right about now? I mean, people seem disappointed in Spezza so far this year and he has 5 points in 5 games. Meanwhile in Washington you have this generational talent at forward and guy had fewer points than defenseperson Erik Karlsson last season. Even Ol’ Spezz had the dignity to make sure to beat that total just to save face. And don’t give me this “coach lost the room” bologna. We’re talking about Alexander “scoring while sliding on his side backwards” Ovechkin here. Even Dani “slowest guy on the team / can he even see properly out of that one weird eye?” Heatley put up better numbers whilst hating Clouston in a “diminished role” on a much weaker team in his final nightmare year in Ottawa. What I’m asking is: was last season’s output a fluke or are we going to start seeing a serious decline in this player’s output? Yes, all players tend to trend downward as they age but there are a lot of comparably aged/talented players in the league right now that aren’t getting sonned by their team’s version of Mike Ribeiro. Speaking of which: Nick Backstrom you are aware that you get more ice time than Mike Ribeiro, yes?

Oh Looook the Curtains Are On Fire!

So, as much crap as I just talked about the Capitals, it would seem that the Sens will be without the services of Jason Spezza tonight. So…eek.

Still, it feels pretty good to have a player that is quickly emerging as a viable fill-in for the oft injured Spezza in Kyle Turris. Am I anointing him a 1^st line centre? No but dude is positively flying out there so that’s a plus. Here’s to hoping Turris can stay hot and hold it down while Spezza recovers. This is something that he might have to get used to doing with the compressed schedule. It’s not just up to Turris though, with Alfredsson’s adamantium bones back suspiciously quickly from the flu (I’m at home with a sore throat today and I don’t even want to make lunch) and Latendresse already having missed time, I’m going to guess neither of those dudes will be at their best tonight. That’s not even mentioning Smith getting his head caved in on Sunday.

Now, I’m the first guy to preach patience but I think Ottawa needs a big game from Jakob Silfverberg tonight. Yes, he’s got a goal and he’s looked pretty good so far but tonight would be a big time oportunity for him to put it all together a little bit.

Celebrate the Moments of Our Lives

How are you planning to celebrate Peter Regin’s 6th game without serious injury? I’m hoping it’s by cheering his first point on the season. Seriously though I’m just glad the organization has gotten over this whole “depending in any way, shape or form on Regin emerging as a top 6 forward” phase. What’s that? Regin was filling in for Spezza at practice today? What me worry.

According to the projected lines for tonight’s game Chris Phillips will be on the 3^rd pairing which can only mean one thing: Paul MacLean’s been getting my emails!!! What? Big Rig ain’t as young as he used to be I like seeing him get fewer minutes on the first game of two in two. Seems like a good call to me. Wiercioch draws back into the lineup which is very exciting but enters at the expense of Andre Benoit. Fair trade off but I just want to point out that I think Benoit has been a pretty good call up. Big up A.B.  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Raphael Boroweicki deservedly hangs onto his spot and will play alongside Gonchar. I thought Gonchar was fantastic against Pittsburgh. I hope he has someone to impress on Washington as well. Meanwhile, Marc Methot and Erik Karlsson remain my favorite thing. After a Ross and Rachelesque “will they or wont they” Mika Zibanejad will indeed dress tonight. I don’t expect much as he’ll be facing a significant adjustment but welcome his fresh legs and youthful enthusiasm to the bottom 6.

Heyyyyyy Craig Anderson is Rocking a .073 GAA & .975 Save Percentage So…

Guys TAKE ADVANTAGE while he’s en fuego. I was troubled to hear Craig Anderson’s post game comment that he thought he let the team down by not stopping maybe the entire league’s most threatening trio of shootout bastards in the game against the Pens. The fact that Ottawa was an impressive 2/3 in the shootout and lost is telling of how hard it is to stave off Neal, Crosby and Malkin in succession. More important to me was how Andy rose to the much greater challenge of keeping the Senators (how formal!) in the entire game. We all griped about how weak the defense was going to be and bro-bro is holding down a goal a game. Ottawa totally has a good chance tonight. We were a few Erik Karlsson shots finding their way in from taking the last game so expect a fired up Special Little Guy tonight. Dude seemed FURIOUS with his performance against Pittsburgh.

Please submit your post game screengrabs of TSN.ca using the Headline “Capital Gains” Regardless of the Outcome of this Game to: https://twitter.com/wtyky also please follow us and not unfollow us!

Enjoy the gains!

Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, laaaaaaaadiiiiiiies. And Gents. Lets get this started by talking about what everyone wants to talk about because lets each and everyone one of us remember that this is the discussion both here AND on twitta, I want to talk about feelings. Here goes, I am definitely on board that it was frustrating that, according to @whamcity’s stats thing, Guillaume Latendresse didn’t capitalize on any of the over 700,000 scoring opportunities that he had against Florida but I think that it’s awesome that he is getting scoring chances. What would be more troubling would be if he was Cheechooianly invisible out there. His timing definitely seems a bit off but after that pass to Turris in Monday’s game I have hope. I don’t think a week of training camp and 3 games is enough for Stella to Get His Groove Back after two years off. After all, I don’t even think Spezza, Alfie (THERE I SAID IT), or even Silfverberg are operating at 100% yet. This isn’t meant as an insult. I’m just speaking to how despite a 3 and 0 record, I don’t even think we’ve seen this team fire on all cylinders yet. I still count Latendresse as a much more obvious case of this than anyone else on the team.

(Come here and check this out: listen up, according to a delightful Francophone I know, I have been informed that Guillaume is French for William and Latendresse is French for The Tenderness…By the power sweatervested in me by the WTYKY Heartless Corporation I hereby rename him Tender Willy. – Speaking of which, Latendresse will not Laten Dress for tonight’s game due to a minor injury……….Prognosis: tender wil— Kaspars “THE ROOSTER” Daugavins fills in.

With Latendresse sitting this one out we will get to see what a Regin-Turris-Alfredsson line looks like. This could potentially be a tough break if for Tender Willy (try it out with your friends!) if this line looks great tonight. Totally possible the way Turris is positively flying out there. On a positive note,  imagine a 3^rd line of Latendresse, Smith and Greening? They would be pancaking youngins…well, until both Regin and Latendresse are injured long term or course.

Big Ben (ugh…I know just work with me here…) gets his first start of the year. No pressure homie. Youre only auditioning for your very identity between a starter who is currently rocking a GAA that is not even a whole number and a AHL all star rival who might actually murder you. I think Bishop will do well but Steven Stamkos is like a version of Alex Kovalev that isn’t 40 years old and hasn’t been playing in the KHL for two seasons so… different challenges…different needs. Looking forward to picking apart Bishop with yall regardless of performance!

Who plays goalie for Tampa bay? Anders Lindback. They are both tall. Insiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. 

In terms of debuts, Im more interested to see how Mark Borowieckipedia holds up in his season debut. Patrick Wiercioch, who draws out of the lineup for Borocop, has looked positively NHLian in the past three games. Im hoping for the good problem of them both doing well though they are drastically different players. Keep an eye on Boro’s passing…bit of an overlooked element of his game if you ask me…whats that? No, no one asked? He looks a bit like a ninja turtle in a good way! 

Talkin’ bout Karlsson (Karlsson) Karlsson (Karlsson) Iko Iko An Nay fsdafl;kajsdga;dhlbkfjd g Talkin’ ‘bout Karlsson’s Great!

Thank you, thank youuu. Music everyone. Karlsson is really, really frigging good. I am considering taking time out of watching the video of his goal from last night to check out tonight’s match up. With 4 points in 3 games Karlsson needs to step up and continue to be the best player on the team. How do you coach this kid? “You there, Strawberry…hit a homerun!”

The Tampa Bay Lightening pose the biggest challenge to the Sens season thus far and they have been kind of killing it alllowing 2 goals in 3 games. This is in part why I have had so little of substance to say here! The Sens numbers are basically near impossible to maintain for a long period of time and they did also play last night but expect a fired up Regin to make some noise early on. I hope you enjoy the game more than this preview!

A behind the scenes look at what the contract negotiation process with Alex Kovalev looks like.

Some Notes on Saturday’s Game
So as Paul MacLean stated, despite it appearing on paper as a convincing win, the game on Saturday looked a bit like the dog’s breakfast which is a saying I’ve only ever known as “the dog’s dinner” but what’s important here is that a dog ate a delicious and balanced though not aesthetically pleasing meal.

Those two hit posts early on could very easily have had that 1^st intermission looking way, way different for the Sens’ chances. Craig Anderson is thus the big X Factor (copyright) for tonight. He was undoubtedly shaky at first but for the majority of the game he was solid flashing that impressive glove of his and not repeatedly using his blocker to turn his saves into rebound festivals.

Team-wise there was enough rust out there for sure but if having a shaky game is Andy allowing one goal and a 3 point night from Karlsson I’ll buy that for a dollar. I think we all enjoyed the game of Marc Methot in his debut and did whatever the opposite of enjoying is for Guillaume Latendresse’s. This of course could balance out entirely if Methot gets the home crowd jitters and Latendresse clicks a bit more with his new linemates. One game at a time for these newbies (just kidding I will continue to unfairly judge both these two and all players on a game to game basis). I don’t know about you Eddie but I am just as nervous for this game as I was the last one.

On Why We Shouldn’t Boo Kovalev Featuring a Fascinating Side Bar About the Hidden Dangers of Sodium

First thing’s first, tonight will you be wearing your authentic on ice SNES flying squirrel/clown arm Alex Kovalev jersey that you got for free for bringing your old batteries to the recycling plant? Y/N?

SARCASM ALERT: Okay, as we know large groups of human beings are incredibly smart and reasonable.
Hockey games are no exception (See: Jets fans booing Erik Karlsson to a 3 point night Saturday, See also: Jets fans booing Jason Spezza DURING that incredible set up for Kyle Turris last year). As such, expect a fair portion of fans to boo Alex Kovalev when he touches the puck tonight. Before I go on let’s be clear about something: Now that we’ve celebrated your Bat mitzvah, your father and I, who are both very proud of you, are going to make an effort not to interfere in letting you make your own decisions. Emit whatever sound you wish at this sporting event because after all it’s your personal journey. And hey, the booing, I get it. The Kovalev era in Ottawa was a frustrating one in all sort of ways. Sure he made way, way too much money but I don’t pay him so that doesn’t bug me so much about it in the long run. In fact, I’m pretty okay with it because his tenure here was so short. Happy is the shitty contract that can be traded for a conditional 7^th round pick not even two full seasons into it. Playing under Clouston…and…could there be a worse combo of player and coach? Kovalev put up pretty respectable numbers in his time in Ottawa. Considering he was in his mid-late 30s occasionally injured and even spent a small portion of his time in the bottom 6 his 76 points in 131 games isn’t horrible. Don’t get it twisted it isn’t great either. Of course those numbers are admittedly deceptive as long cold snaps are disguised by multi-point performances. Anyway, my question here is: Is Kovy boo worthy? Seems a bit of a stretch to me. Further, if you’re really interested in seeing Kovalev flounder I think the best thing to do is just ignore him. As we experienced the now 39 year old Kovalev’s greatest challenge seems to be motivation to play his best on a nightly basis. Booing him might help him wake up and as his time in Ottawa showed; when Kovalev is up for it he can be as dangerous as he wants to be. If you want to potentially help light a fire under him your father and I certainly aren’t going to stand in your way because you’re a grown woman who makes her own choices now but be warned of the immortal words of AK27, “Comes the shootings, comes the goals.”

Working Together to Take Fewer Penalties…for All of Us
Hopefully, les boys will play a more disciplined game tonight and stay out of the box. I thought some of those calls were of the bologna variety and even on that ugly Chris Neil hit I have to say I think that dude turned his back on Neiler at the last second. All the bitching in the world doesn’t take away from the fact that Ottawa spent a lot of that game in the box. The refs made it clear that the 2013-2013 season is going to have be played so fresh and so clean (clean). A lot of teams would have buried the Sens with that much powerplay time. It’s ill advised to put all that pressure on 46 year old (looking) Chris Philips and the rest of the D corps. A parade to the penalty box will only take the life out of the building right quick.

Bonus Giveaway News
A reminder to those attending the game tonight, a free sample draught of Molson Canadian comes with a free sample of diarrhea the next morning.

ENJOY!!!