Hi welcome to this website!

Let’s calmly and quietly discuss tonight’s match up.

Hey, Ottawa has stopped playing like microwaved used garbage bags and pointed their ship toward the sunny shores of winning more games than losing! They are now a mere two games over .500 and you know what you Lucky Duckies? That’s, pathetically, enough to be in the post-season hunt in the Eastern conference! Only two points separates their 11th spot from Philadelphia’s 7th place. Which is nice.
Here’s the bad news, 1 point is the difference between 11th and 13th place. Eeep. It is awesome that Ottawa’s been winning but thanks to frankly a blown opportunity in December the Sens have to just keep going strong all the way up to the Olympic break.   Also, a lot of other teams have to do very poorly…which Ottawa can’t really control…which is….LET’S MOVE ON.

Fathers Lock Up Your Sacrificial Goats Robin Lehner is Starting Tonight! 
Remember this guy? He’s back! Tonight will be his first game of 2014(!) and a lot’s changed since Lehner’s last start, which was a disappointing 5-0 blowout at the hands of the Bruins. As a result of that asskicking, Anderson got the nod for all 6 of Ottawa’s games since and won 5 of them and still managed to help get the team to overtime in his only loss.
Here’s an interesting thing: How bad was Anderson early on? He’s gone 6-0-1 in his last 7 starts with a 2.11 GAA and .932 save percentage which vastly improved his record to 15-9-5. Lehner has a losing record of 5-9-3 and STILL has a better goals against average AND save percentage on the year than Andy…by a pretty fair margin too! What am I trying to say? I guess that it’s been a rough ride for both goalies so far this year…also LEHNER IS GOOD! I think the greater challenge was on Anderson to turn his record around too. Some solid spot duty from Robin could see his record level out. The goaltender typically gets the most blame for a loss despite the fact there is only so much they can control in the game but of course they are also very often central pieces of a victory. There’s no doubt that there rests upon Lehner a lot of pressure to be a star tonight for the Sens.
Minnesota has a goaltender named Darcy Kuemper which is the funniest name since Matt Puempel. I have no idea if he’s starting tonight, THANKS FOR READING!

Milestone Night?
(Disclaimer: I am never going to get tired of making fun of Dany Heatley…no, not even years and years later).
With his HOTTT play of late Dany Heatley looks to jump ahead of offensive dynamo Zack Smith in goal scoring.
Sure the guy you’re supposed to compare Heatley to is Michalek (who still has more points than him despite being maybe the most disappointing player on the Ottawa roster this season) but wow, that production drop off is getting positively Cheechooian™ at this point. Still hasn’t hit the double digits in goals more than halfway through the season. This is a guy who’s worst season in Ottawa was 39 goals! Imagine that trade never happened? In a cash strapped situation like Ottawa’s in now it would be more depressing than that awful summer where he requested that trade and everything seemed to be going wrong for the Sens. If Heatley was still here and potentially neck and neck in scoring with a role player like Smith who makes less than $2MM? We’d be wishing he’d request a trade. Michalek’s been pretty lukewarm overall for Ottawa as a whole but we never had those 50 goal glory days with him so it doesn’t burn quite as bad if he doesn’t do that well. I think Heater’d be our Scott Gomez if he was still here. He scored the fugliest goal last time the Wild and Sens met. Let’s uhhh hope he doesn’t do that again…oh and if Zack Smith could score that would be amazing for this dumb scoring race I just made up.

Busted Stuff
Taking advantage of opportunities has not exactly been Ottawa’s strong suit so far this season but they REALLY need to capitalize on a depleted Minnesota roster. There are still some very good players in their lineup but missing from tonight’s game are Zach Parise, Mikko Koivu and Josh Harding.
Ottawa has a rare injury as Chris Neil remains day to day with a pulled hammy. I don’t hate Neil but bro can take his time coming back if only to extend Mark Stone’s call up. I’ve really enjoyed watching Stoner do his thing, he’s been a real spark. Goal aside, I don’t know what the kids been eating (I’ll put money on chicken parm) but his call up has been much stronger last year’s which is very encouraging for a few reasons perhaps the biggest being the DEARTH of scoring right wingers on the team aside from Bobby Ryan. Get well wheneverish, Chris Neil!
Speaking of Ryan, not at all unhappy with his game of late but you gotta feel pretty bad that his drop off in goal scoring has coincided almost perfectly with his US Olympic roster snub. Not saying those things are connected but if he doesn’t start scoring soon, out come the questions about it day after day until he can turn it around and no one wants that. Ryan’s due for a big game, let’s hope it’s tonight.

These are two hot teams looking to you know…not lose the game (NARRATIVE!). Even one point tonight would make for a very solid road trip. A win for Ottawa, however, would definitely mean a lot in terms of making a statement that things could really pick up for the latter half of the season. It starts with playing well in front of Lehner.

Enjoy the game and be sure to check out the latest episode of the the Scotchcast if you have yet to!
Song about my life: 

Hi Everyone,

How about that Solar Vertex AAM I RIGGHT LADIESYGHtjbnlkgbja’dgg? Breaking News: Winter b WINTERY! Also, Womyn B shoppin (for Winter gear during winter, smart move womyn)!

It feels pretty surreal but the Sens are looking to extend a four game winning streak! Their longest of the year. I don’t know if that’s very good as far as the league goes (See: Fellow fugly ducklings Carolina currently riding a 4 game winning streak as well) but given how this season has been going, I have to admit I’m pretty over the moon about it.

The headline for the Sens going into tonight’s game is the potential of the return of captain Jason Spezza (651pts in 650 games, 52 pts in 56 playoff games, 2 time all star) hurting the team’s chemistry. We all know the old saying: you don’t go point per game for 10 seasons without making a few enemies!
While it’s been extremely welcome that Mika Zibanejad has continued to perform well in an increased role and Kyle Turris carrying on his glorious reign over the Republic of my Heart, you might want to find room in the lineup for your captain. The projected lines for tonight are:
Greening – Spezza – Stone
MacArthur – Turris – Ryan
Conacher – Zibanejad – Michalek
Kassian – Smith – Condra
Extras: Pageau, Neil.

While we’re on the subject of the first line I’d like to address a rumor. I have been romantically linked to Mark Stone’s goal on Carey Price. I’d like to say we are just friends at this time though this could change if he is willing to keep the door open to additional goals. Would love to see if Greening, who I’ve noticed has been far more physical of late, can create some space for Spezz and Stone to do the whole “getting points” thing. Now go out there and HAVE FUN (but seriously, produce immediately).
Fantastic that the Ziba line is kept together. What a difference a Neil injury makes. If Lil Z  can help to keep 9MM and 89CC going that’s a lot of fire power for an already offensively able forward group.
Interesting to learn that Pageau has been having sex with Paul MacLean’s wife as that’s the only reason I could see for him potentially being healthy scratched. Life Hack: JGP, stop having sex with your coach’s wife!!! Look, the air is thin in Denver and the Avalanche are a young team, naturally you want to ice your slowest skater and sit the player Luke Richardson has described as “not even out of breath at the end of a shift” because infidelity.

Colorado will be without character from the HBO prison drama Oz, Ryan O’Reilly. O’Reilly hurt his shoulder while hugging. An injury I have sadly never known *sad Charlie Brown Music*. Also missing the game is player I’ve never heard of Nate Guerin. Nathan MacKinnon is 18 years old and has 9 more points than Milan Michalek. The NHL is frustrating sometimes.

Projected defense the pairings had me all like: 
Cowen – Karlsson
Phillips – Ceci
Methot – Gryba
Wiercioch – Corvo

Is it just me or if Cowen can keep getting his shit together bit by bit that’s shaping up to be an alright 3 pairings? I don’t know. Complaints with Gryba have been pretty minimal. Phillips and Ceci have been quiet but steady. Pretty good. Wiercioch hasn’t even played 30 of the teams 44 games because THAT’s the way you start off a three year contract! Starting to get weird all the scratching.

La Vie En Goal
Craig Anderson gets the nod in goal for his 4th straight game. He’s 5-0-0 with a 1.99 GAA in his last 5 and has been a big part of all those victories. His game hasn’t been perfect and no player’s ever will, but he’s given the team a chance to win in those games which is pretty much all I really expected of him this year. Hooray for meeting expectations! No seriously, 4 straight wins is genuine hooray territory!

Much as it sucks for Robin Lehner to take the backseat to this degree, it is far more beneficial to see things stabilize in net. Things were getting a little “win and you’re in” for my liking. Lehner will now actually have to compete with a goalie who’s doing well to get more starts rather than one who makes far more money and has more experience. Andy’s improvement has for now stalled the awkward “So Robin, how does it feel to be markedly better than the starting goalie” kind of questions he was having to start to dodge game in and game out. That said, the biggest feather Lehner had in his cap up until a couple of days ago was that he had won a team high 3 straight games. Andy’s now won 4 straight, on the back of a pretty shaky Lehner performance to boot! C’est la vie d’un gardien de but. Hardest job in hockey. With the games spaced out how they are over the next few, could be late next week before Lehner gets another start. You have to love that he’ll have to make the most of it as coaches tend to have short memories when it comes to performance.
So what I’m saying here is congratulations Craig Anderson, you’ve played so well that I’ve spent most of this section talking about Robin Lehner. I hope Andy can bring it against his old team. The only other time he faced the Avalanche went…inelegantly.
Starting in goal tonight would be Patrick Roy if he had his way. Just kidding, alleged piece of shit Semyon Varlamov will get the start for the Avs.

When a team is in the midst of their longest winning streak of the year (even if it is a modest one) it’s tough to expect the victories to keep coming. That said, a win tonight according to friend of the blog and friend of statistics Travis Yost:

“Victory in Colorado on Wednesday puts Ottawa into a points-tie with Toronto”

So that would be pretty awesome if only for the the fact that they are a divisional rival who are ahead of us in the standings. Okay and that they have a load of dickhead fans in Ottawa who’s sad makes me happy. IT’S CALLED ME BEING “M-A-T-U-R-E” LOOK IT UP IT’S IN A BOOK CALLED “SPELLING WITH SPEZZA” BY BOBBY RYAN (Forward by Toni Morrison, available from G.P. Putnam and Sons a division of Penguin Publishing).

A late start to this one (9:30ishhh pm EST) THANKS A LOT LEGALIZED MARIJUANA. If you’re looking for something to fill your time inbetween I highly recommend this:

GO SENS GO! ENJOY THE GAME! 

I dont know what I want to see Bobby Ryan sign more: An extension with the Senators or an application for Canadian citizenship

Hi everybody, how is the new year treating egoafgbs gbkjz b HEY THATS GREAT! 

So, winning streaks are important! Just ask probably every team that’s not Buffalo, the New York Islanders or Edmonton (which is a place Ottawa feels like today!). Does anyone else feel like the 2014 end of the season is going to be a lot of staring at the standings with Ottawa a goddamn 3 game winning streak away from jumping into the playoff mix?Becauuuuuuse 2014 is only 2 days old and it is kind of already that.
The new year (is it still cool to call it that?) has already seen it’s share of news. Erik Karlsson has expressed his readiness to leave 2013 behind. Hey, turns out having your Achilles tendon sliced in half by human garbage on national television AMONG OTHER THINGS PROBABLY is terrible!
What this means for the Ottawa Senators I have no idea THANKS FOR READING! No, he already leads the team in points and is pacing toward a campaign similar to his Norris winning year so…I don’t know what a fired up Erik Karlsson looks like. Are thangs bout to get Turnt Up or have thangs already yet been Turnt?

“Only thyme will tell.” – Saying I just made up

The other big piece of news is Bobby Ryan’s exclusion from the US Olympic team roster. I’m as shocked as anyone. My best guess is the skating on international ice…I guess? (Side note: Has Bobby Ryan’s supposed sluggish skating been a negative factor at all this season? I don’t really see it with his constantly scoring goals plugging my eyes.) It can’t be conditioning because Phil Kessel looks like a canned ham. I mean, on the subjects of skating and conditioning, I’m from a country that put Dany Heatley on their squad and they managed to WIN (on the second try). I’m no Steven Yzerman (looks wise) but you put the guy who can score goals on the team right? Whatever. Brian Burke is a dish best served in charge of rival teams. Though his two game goalless streak is now a thing of Legend, Bobby is on pace for one of if not the most productive season of his career. From what I see on the Sensphere many fans are getting their snuggies on and grabbing a bowl of popped corn to watch the already coming in hot Ryan take things to a “Remaining in at high temperature” levels. Considering he’s already hovering around a 35-40 goal season I’ll take a Bobby Ryan with a chip on his shoulder but am managing my expectations. Remember Spezza burning with the intensity of 1000 mups because he was left off the Olympic training camp invite list? Mmmm. Speaking of Spezza he’s not playing to tonight, speaking of tonight there’s a game tonight, speaking of the game tonight, I’m supposed to be talking about the game tonight!

The Winnipeg Jets head into Ottawa, a city that feels like Winnipeg today, riding a 3 game winning streak, something the Senators would like to enjoy for only the second time this season. They are looking to win and we are looking to win! We’re the original odd couple!

Short Jason Spezza again, Mikael Zibanejad will centre Cory Conacher and Milan Michalek. It’s my theory that Spezz has been playing a bit dinged up since the start of the season. Have you ever hurt your groin? You don’t really miss one game and then you’re all Kool & the Gang. The Captain can take his time recovering as far as I’m concerned. I’d rather him back healthy for the latter half of the season than playing though the pain. Cory Conacher, who I’ve given a pretty tough time this season because 2 goals to show for the first half, has 3 points in his last two games. I would love to see him build on that because the opposite would be not building on that.
Fun facts about this line: Maligned Michalek has the most points of that trio…but has also played 10 more games than Zibanejad so…the question is HOW MANY 3rd round picks will Murray get for Milo at the trade deadline?
Chris Neil’s injury sees Mark Stone added to the line up. He will play on a line with Jean Gabriel Pageau and Matt Kassian. It’s a bit of a shame to see two skill players on a line with Kassassibaconator as I think Stone’s call up will be a short one and he’s been quiet in his chances with the big club. He’ll likely get about 5 minutes of ice time tonight but gotta have Kassian out there in case whoever the Jets goon is, and looking at their roster looks like could be one of like 11 guys, tries to fight him or whatever. I don’t know just go out there and HAVE FUN! What else? Oh, Clarke MacArthur used to sort of play for this team which is nice.

Chris Phillips returns from his foot injury and Patrick Wiercioch will sit again for some reason. Circle of life?

Craig Anderson will get the nod in goal again. Despite NOT BEING ABLE TO STOP THE FIRST TEN SHOTS OF THE GAME, he straight up helped steal that last one for Ottawa. There were way more terrifying chances for Washington than I’d like to see in victory. They would look like they were on a power play at even strength…a lot. But whatever it was nice to see the Sens get away with one instead of the usual burn session. Craig’s been showing some of the Andy that we expected to see you know…all season but better late than never.
I can’t find any info on who’s starting tonight for the Jets. All I know is that Ondrej Pavelec’s agent Allan Walsh tries to push the hash tag “Pavelectricity” on twitter which begs the question, “Has their ever been a more reaching, more adorable attempt at player branding in sports history?”

Enjoy the game everyone!

Ugh. Welcome to Earf INDEED, friends. Today we are ALL that alien. RIP that Alien. Got punched. Got punched right in his head. Then he died. On Cristmapendence Day no less.

Heyyyyy did anyone see the game on Saturday afternoon? Yeah, I was there because as Eugene Gandhi once said, “Be the attendance you want to see in this Canadian Tire Centre.” Anyway, except for the end of the game part I had a great time! Just to keep with the Bill Smith theme here, it seemed to me like the Sens all must have had the part of their mind that was used to remember that you can play hockey in the opposing team’s zone erased during the Second Intermission.

Here comes the men in blown power play opportunities *clap clap!* Constantly defending.
MOVIES and Their Official Soundtracks, am I right?!
Whatever. What was I on about? Oh yeah Welcome 2 Earf (12th place). You know what’s not at all funny about this whole thing where Ottawa can’t win these afternoon home games? THERE’S ANOTHER TEAM THAT’S ALSO PLAYING THE GAME EXCEPT THEY’RE ON A FR*GGING ROADTRIP WHO KEEP BEATING THEM. Afternoon, Shmafternoon™ the Coyotes were the ones who were supposed to be at a disadvantage. The Coyotes were the ones 3 time zones away from where they live, the one’s travelling hours to every game, not sleeping in their own beds and playing their 3rd game in 5 days. You have to win home games no matter what spice they are. There was a point where Ottawa was up 3-2 and the Coyotes’ Mike Ribeiro (who I haaaaaaaaaaaaate) took a penalty barely two minutes later. I bring this up because it got me thinking. If the roles were reversed and Ottawa was down one and took a penalty right after the go ahead goal was scored by the other team (who was playing on home ice) would I be alone in thinking “This is where they bury us.”? This is exactly where the #AccommodatingSens come out to take over the game. What’s that Phoenix? Losing the game and just took 3 penalties in a row? We wouldn’t DREAM of taking a 2 goal lead. LET’S MAKE THIS INTERESTING SHALL WE? Result? CLASSIC Antione Vermette hat trick.
Call it lack of killer instinct I don’t know but again, in a league where games are won and lost on special teams opportunities you can’t blow chances like that and expect to be anything above 9th place. Scoring hasn’t been much of a problem but putting the game away definitely has. Pile a mup tonight guys, c’mon. Is just Marc Andre Fleury! What’s that? He’s decided to stop being absolutely terrible and is one of the best goalies in the league now? Ugh, this SPORT.
The only thing I’m going to say about the Penguins is that they have won all but one, I REPEAT ONE, of their games THIS MONTH…Why? because I hate them so much. So much. Look at it this way, at least they only have the *looks at other tab* ..the best power play in the league…uhh but that’s misleading because …since acquiring Jacques Martin on their coaching staff they’ve also become one of the best defensive teams in the league so…let’s move on!

Well at least the lines make sense going into the game. 
Michalek – Spezza – Ziba
MacArthur – Turris – Ryan
Greening – Smith – Neil
Conacher – Pageau – Condra

There’s a lot to like here!
– Zibanejad is playing again
– Top six is consists entirely of top six players. Say what you will (OR DONT!) about Michalek this year, a bottom six guy he ain’t.
– Pageau (who’s great) is centering good players.
– Kassian getting his ice time cut by 4 minutes and 15 seconds. Seriously, you can tell whenever he’s on the ice in a bad way.
– 16-7-6 line reunited and it feels so goddamn good great.
It’s a Christmas Eve-Eve miracle on ice!

It’s really a shame about the loss to Phoenix as I thought a lot of defenders played quite well. Erik Karlsson is good at playing hockey AND IT SHOWS. Offensive output is welcome but Methot was simply very good overall and even one Jerry Cowen was looking like he’s getting his shit straightened out. It’s no secret that the Defense has been the team’s Achilles (too soon?) heel this year. To see them performing better, even in a loss, was encouraging. Unfortunately they’ll have to be a even mo’ better tonight. Ceci remains in and Corvo and Wiercioch will not dress…in their hockey equipment.

Get well Robin Lehner get well soon we want you to get welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Apartmently Robbie Lehner has come down with a case of the flu. Remember I warned against a Flu-sing streak (really sorry) if a bug was going around the room?  Maybe this could have a bit of a positive effect on Craig Anderson. You can do it, me…think of a bright side to back what you just said up… GOT IT: Win or lose (according to 9-9-4 record mostly lose!) Andy will get a couple of starts in a row. He wont have The Lehner looming over him and maybe that will be good for him. Neither netminder has really definitively taken the reins as starter this season. A losing record will do that I guess. Regardless, the back and forth has to be a bit jarring for a creature of habit like Andy. After all this is the goalie who just a couple of seasons ago got 63 starts. Maybe he can get into a bit of a groove. A groove that can last from period 1 to period 3 even! You’re the guy right now Craigy. He was holding it down for the most part against the Coyotes. I mean it’s not really his fault that the rest of the team blew 4 straight power plays and couldn’t give him a little bit of a margin of error to work with. Also not his fault: letting Phoenix enjoy playing most of the 3rd period in Ottawa’s zone. He’ll have to be on his Grizzly tonight as the Penguins boast some DECENT forwards in their line up.

Well, that’s it for these things until Friday when Ottawa starts a barf to barf against the Barfston Barfins. What’s the holiday season without a little carol? You may have caught this delightful number the Sens released today lead by Jason Spezza’s BEAUTIFUL singing voice. In that lovely spirit I’ve decided to share a little something of my own! (The music goes however you imagineeeeeeeeeer it to)

1 and a 2 and a 1, 2, 3, 4…

OHHHHH Santa Saint Christmas, Ottawa Senators stuff 
Don’t rip my heart out of my chest and stomp on it a bunch of times
Believe me when I tell you, I’m being good (?) mostly every day
For Sennukah all I want is for Ottawa to defeat some teams. 
DEFEAT THE OTHER TEAAAAAAAAAAAAMS 
IN THE SPIRIT OF THESE HOLIDAYS FROM WORRRRRK
but with religious stuff going on as well (of course, no disrispeeek). 
And if you cant bother to beat those other teams 
Then actually please do that thing where you rip out my heart 
so I can be dead in time for Christmaaaaaaaaa(s)
*3 minute long synthesizer solo*
OHHH Annual Gift Man, from your pyramid on the Moon, 
I’m pretty sure I enjoy watching hockey as a pastime
It’s been an emotional journey that no one wants to end 
with getting punched in their bathing suit area by 
None other than stupid Sidney CROSBYYYYYY sooooooooooo
THANKS FOR A SENATORS WIN SAINT SANTAAAAA 
ON. *CLAP!* 
THEEEE. *CLAP*
CHRISTMAS CHILD’S BIRTHDAY EVE – 
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE  

Thank you for reading, enjoy the game and sorry about everything!

Cmon James think back to your training….what did they say over and over again? Oh yeah, always leave on a strong note:

………………Hi?

You know how sometimes on a Monday (Garfield Kryptonite!) you wake up, brush your teeth, flex your muscles in the mirror, do a little bit of morning crying, “boot up” your trusty Tandy 1000 and start typing up a game preview? Yeah, me too, I know, I’ve been there, my man/womyn/no judgements we’re all sensitive people with so much to give.
And you know how in that game preview you might have felt compelled to mention that the Ottawa Senators put up perhaps their best overall effort of the season against one of the most disciplined and hard working teams in the NHL? Sure. Yeah. Hey, you might also have spent a good portion of time remarking at the solid performance demonstrated by goaltender Robin Lehner. A guy you maybe made a case for giving a string of starts! H*ck, you may have even included a gif of what can only be described as a flawless play through all three zones, from slick breakout to crisp cross ice passes to breathtaking deke on the finish. Oh and maybe you even spent some time talking about the importance of Milan Michalek scoring a goal in his return to top 6 duty. Yep, you might talked about alllllllllllllllllll those things. So naturally what happened in that game? Allow me to tell you…
– Ottawa could’t string a play together to save their goddamn lives AND looked like absolute bologna defensively
– Robin Lehner gets lit up for 5 goals on 33 shots…AGAINST NEW JERSEY
– Michalek scores an absolutely gorgeous goal that resulted in ABSOLUTELY NOTHING unless you count an immediate response goal from the Devils as something.
– Paul MacLean tears into the team’s complete lack of competition.

One way of describing last night’s game would be “Less than #swaggy”

So what does this mean for tonight’s match up against the suddenly good Floridian Panthers?
HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW!? THANK YOU AND YOUR FAMILY FOR READING AND HAPPY HOLLANDAISE TO EACH AND EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!
I’ve been writing these things for a few years now. *holds for complete silence* This season has been the absolute most difficult to get a feel for how the team is going to perform game in and game out. Keep trying? I’ll keep trying.

Gord Wilson: Your Official Morganté Menswear Ottawa Senators Insider
On the wings of what is in my opinion a non-controversy of Marc Methot not being returned to the line up at the beginning of a back to back after suffering from the flu, I come bearing less than hottt gossip! During TSN 1200’s pregame show Gordie mentioned that after doing pregame media in the dressing room, judging from the looks of Bobby Ryan and Kyle Turris he thinks that numbers 6 and 7 have come down with a touch of something. He also said “I’m not going to flash you!” to Jean Gabriel Pageau when interviewing him about his first NHL goal so…take from that what you will. It doesn’t mean those guys are going to miss time if they’re sick either. Remember that flu ridden game against the Loafs a few years back when Mike Fisher was ducking back to the dressing room between shifts to vomit? You don’t? SPOILER ALERT: They did not win that game.
You know what they say, the best pass in hockey is not having the flu.
Judging by his play last night, I’m going to pretend that Jared Cowen also has the flu. Right? I mean he’s got to. Patrick Wiercioch will come out of the lineup because Jared Cowen put on a flu-like performance. It’s the only way to remedy it. It’s hockey penicillin! Steel yourself for a little bit of a slump if there is a bug going around the room. Hey, who knows what’s really going on though! What’s important to remember is…

This:
THIS:
To be perfectly honest, this:
And most importantly…THIS:
MM’PH!

What was I talking about? Oh yes, the declining state of my mental health.

Krang Anderson will get the start tonight. We all got pissed at the coach when he unsuccessfully started Andy and Lehnny respectively in back to back games. So here’s to new beginnings! *pulls bottle of Silent Sam vodka out of desk drawer and stealthily takes a huge swig*
(Silent Sam: Official daytime odorless vodka of Welcome to Your Karlsson Years).

A message to Craig Anderson:
Hi Craig, I hope you don’t get hung the fuck out to dry by the defense like your co-worker Robert Lemler did last night. Anyway, take care brush your hair *wink* *vodka* and good luck in the upcoming hockey match! *vodka*

Tim Thomas, who I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate, is questionable for tonight’s game. Scott Clemmensen who is a human being might play. He has a sub .900 save percentage on the season but has a 1.00 goals against average in his last two games so…this thing is just writing itself.

What a difference a game makes
Wow, so, Tuesday morning we’re talkin’ about how things are trending properly and how it’s a new dawn etc. Now, it’s Thursday the world is falling apart. Salade du chef! People are buggin out at all levels! Fans AND team AND GM AND coach. You’d think the Sens just lost 5 straight (something they’ve already DONE this season and yet we lived to tell the tale!) Advice: Let’s each and every last one of us, myself above all included, show a little resolve here. Hmmkaiiiiyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeee?

I’m going to end on this note:
I love the Senators
I love you
and
I love you.
(Love you.)

Enjoy the game and remember ENJOY THE COSMIC BALLET OF LIFE ITSELF!