I did NOT add that moustache

Welcome Sens Clams!

Before we get started some BREAKING NEWS:
So, by now you may have seen that incredible photo dug up by member of @WTYKY NATION! and Peter Regin crush haver @ldots13 of Rundblad, Karlsson and Zibanejad dressed up as The Doobie Brothers for Halloween on David’s Rundblog. But that, gentle reader, is not why you come here. No, you come to Welcome To Your Karlsson Years for the story BEHIND the story. Sure, we are all, each and every last one of us, happy and excited about those Hallow’s Ween costumes. That’s clear. Did you know, dear friendo, that in addition to being an offensive defenseman, fancy hair haver, riverboat gambler and handsome gadabout about Skelleftea he is a BEAT POET. Yes, all one has to do is cut and paste some of David’s blog posting  work into google translate and BOOM the Kerouacian beat poetry just leaps right off the page. Let me lay this hep poem taken right off his blog from google translate on you daddio/mommio…

-Dim the lights. *Walking jazz bass line and bongos by candle in bohemian night club*

Pocket books
When my birthday, it was something new.
Now I’ll be book mart. Street Smart – book mart,
It was a heated discussion
A few years ago in the locker room.

What is best to be?

The person in question
claimed that
street smart
Was best for when it gets on the street
But also argued
That it would fare at least as well
At a national university,
Only he
Had more time.
Street smart
Might not be
Such a bad thing
Anyway.

*blows out candle*

Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig. Cool man cool. Reeeeeaaaal Melvin. Heavy stuff.

So yeah, jazz game night? With Mika Zibanejad being returned to DirtGarden of the SEL (we’ll miss you Mikachu!) and the collar tug inducing injury to Peter Regin’s pile of shattered glass above his arm, the line up is wide open going forward. Its about to look REBUILDY up in here. Stephane DaCosta will get a look at 2^nd line centre tonight twixt Alfredsson and Foligno. I don’t expect miracles from the kid but I think he’ll do a lot better in that role and hopefully can get the haters off his back with a solid performance tonight. Even if he has defensive deficiencies, it’s not exactly a high pressure year and the Sens are performing above expectations, let the kid fly a little out there! I mean…Spezza has been defensively responsible for like half a year and he’s in his 9^th season! Alfie’s on his wing and we all know, Papa Alfie will take care of everything! ….Right guys? Uhhhh…Moving ON!

Battle of Blade III’s (on DVD): Craig Anderson gets another start and why not? Hot shots always play the hot pockets. Right? That’s how that goes. Absolutely a saying.
Anderstud *rolls eyes at self* is coming off his best performance of the three game winning streak in Carolina. A couple of heartbreaking goals got past him late sure but without Andy the Sens would have been right out of that contest after the first period. In fact, if Anderson didn’t pitch a shut out for about three quarters of that game things could have gotten STEVE MASONY up in that piece and NO ONE wants that. Also, is anyone else getting a little more steely watching shootouts? Our man is NAILS in those things. I still have a few years of trauma to work off but if Andy can hold it down like he’s doing could make for a welcome change of thinking “well at least we got one point” when OT runs out.
For the Big Cats (not to be confused with David Rundblad’s poetry group of the same name) Swedish rookie Jacob Markstrom is unbeaten in his last 2 starts and is boasting a Khabibulin blood alcohol levelesque 0.75 (GAA) in his last two. Not much is known about Markstrom other than he was touted as “The best little goaltender in alllll the outside the NHL land” for a while. Well, now he’s IN the NHL and seems to be living up to his billing. Im telling you, Florida could surprise this year. Lord knows they could use it…just not tonight.

What else? Kaspars Daugavins THE DOGMAN DOGMAN DOGMAN DOGMAN looks to do the Bartman all over Florida’s stupid faces (and I think we can agree that their faces are pretty stupid) in his 3^rd NHL game. Though held off the score sheet 30 Helens agree that his game against the Canes had the inspired tenacity that we expected.
Would love to see Rundblog get some Power Play time tonight …because…I dont know, I’m all about Rundblad today?

Speaking of stupid faces: Can Spezza take over Kessel’s NHL scoring lead already…keep that guy off of TV.

Poll Question:
What is more awkward:
– Your boss telling racist joke (about the race of someone who is listening and/or you)  at work party
– Phil Kessel in pre/post game media scrum

Player hate with us Join us  in the comment section!

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How can you NOT go with this picture?

Ladies and Gentlemen, once again with feeeeeeeeeling, LETS GET TROPICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!
Very excited about tonight’s game for some reason!
I could be wrong but don’t the Hurricanes hand the Sens their asses a lot of the time? I seem to remember being very mad Jussi Jokinen, Tuomo Ruutu and Joe Corvo a bunch of times over the past few seasons. You never know whats going to happen though as our boys tend to beat up on the Flyers and we all know how THAT just went.
“That’s why they have them play the games, that’s whyyyyyyyyyyy they have them plaaaaaaay the games” – Jonathan Taylor Thomas Tinks
For me, I think it’s New Players, New coach, New Whathaveyou. Forever Heritage White. All In. All Off White.
I try not to get too caught up in the long term records between teams, I mean, what am I doing here? Following a hockey team or simulating a season of NHL 12 for my Atari Jaguar?

Battle of the Bambinos: So, you may have heard this already but something-something Mika Zibanejad only has 9 wishes remaining before he glerpdeederps back to Switzerland. Personally, I think our boy is getting sent back but I wouldn’t diarrhea my pants if they kept him. One thing I am sure about is that I would absolutely LOVE to see him score one tonight. It would be great for morale to just to get that monkey off his back regardless of whether he sticks or sails.
On the other side Jeff “Guy Who Everyone Uses as an Example for Keeping an 18 Year Old Rookie Around When Talking About Zibanejad” Skinner leads a Raleigh team that has Eric Staal, Juicy Jokinen and a bunch of other people who should probably be ahead of him in scoring on it. Yipes, kid continues to impress. Should be fun to get the opportunity to watch him as you KNOW you cant be bothered to watch a Hurricanes game otherwise. Fun Faktt: Eric Staal is a team worst minus 10 right now.

Battle of the Star Galacticas: Cam Ward, the Eric Staal of goalies – as in very, very good player that is no one’s favorite player, squares off against Craig Granderson. Ward is enjoying a typically solid season with a 2.81GAA – and despite being on a pretty whatev’s squadron is rocking a Skeelo-In-1995-Hot 1.94GAA/.948PCT in his last two games. Anderson, along with his teammates, is enjoying a two game unbeaten streak, BUT as former Vice President Guy From Smashmouth once said, “all that glitters aint gooOOooOoooOold*” as Anderson did not exactly steal those games and was bailed out on some inconsistent play. Will only shooting stars break the mold (wtf is that guy on about?) or will Tomas Kaberle capitalize on the fact that he looks like a cartoon? Only time will tell.

Achilies Heel Watch: For Ottawa, Daddy Alfredsson will be noticeably absent tonight. Though he hasn’t been jazzhanding up the scoresheet per se, anyone who’s been watching the Sens play consistently knows that Herr Papa is often straw that stirs the defensively sound mocktail. Whiiiiich is still completely terrifying considering his age. Get well overnight soon! I am looking for the quietly-doing-pretty-well-so-far Colin Greening or Eric Condra (the OTHER Colin Greening) to pick up the slack while Alfredsson rests and he and wife Bibi (real name) make catty comments while watching the “Say Yes to the Dress” marathon.
For Carolina: Centre Zac(k) Dalpe will be out of the lineup and do you know what that meaaaaaans? No, really if you know what that means please let us know in the comment section. Does anybody follow this team? Ugh, so boring, it pisses me right off that they’ve won the cup. “I’M JUST SAYING WHAT YOURE ALL THINKING!” – Psychics

Comic Relief: Is there a more likeable guy on Binghamton than Francis Lessard Kaspars Daugavins? I mean sure his name sounds made up but anyone who successfully spot kicks his stick over the boards after a goal in an actual game where their coach is watching gets a lifetime pass from me. I like most fans I thought Nikita Filatov was the logical depth call up but with this being Dogman’s self imposed last spot kick at the NHL before heading back to his home and native Latvia (the OTHER Lithuania!) he’s due to get his shot at the big dance. As a shifty little bulldog of a man with great hands and a responsible two way game I think The Rooster will impress during his call up. I wish him great success with this exciting opportunity! Shame on you for not wishing him luck with this exciting opportunity!
Watch Daugavins do something absolutely amazing while simultaneously causing his coach to have a daymare here. Puck drop is at 7pm so that will explain why people are leaving early a half hour early. Enjoy!

*You’re welcome for having that song in your head now. Bet you’re feelin pretty dumb with your finger AND your thumb in that shape of on “L” on your forehead.

A wise man who wrote theme songs for family oriented situation comedies, I think his name was Rachmaninoff, once asked, “Whatever happened to predictability? The milkman, the paperboy, the evenin’ TV?”
Great question(s)! I myself often wonder whatever happened to the evenin’ TV. Youre just sitting there watching TV and next thing you know evening rolls around and boom it just shuts off and how come I cant get no milkman NOR paperboy (for NES) round here?

Anyway, this evenin’ on TV, (y)our Ottawa Senators face off against everyone else’s Winnipeg Jets in an event that can only be described as “a hockey game.” Who knows in this work a day world what will happen? No really, Rachmaninoff was right, whatever happened to predictability? Have you seen those poor dudes stuck doing the Ottawa Citizen’s prediction panel? That’s been a tough gig so far. I can’t tell how this one will go, even losses are all over the place right now. In my last preview, we discussed the veritable Wheel-O-Defeat Scenarios that the Sens seem to spin before most games. As it turned out they landed on “Coloradoesque blow out” last time out. What kind will it be tonight?
No, but seriously ladies and Germanians, I’d like to think that their chances of winning tonight are AT LEAST good. The Jets played a hard fought, frustrating shootout loss in Toronto just last night. I don’t catch many leafs/other team games but wanted to check out the Jets in action and heyyyyyyy, did you know that games at the ACC are the TSN of reffing? Oh sure the other teams get attention here and there…but…

The Battle of the Kool Mo Dee Concert: Craig Anderson gets the start in goal after a brutal outing by Alex Auld and some brutal outings by Craig Anderson. Oh sure, Craig hasn’t gotten much help as this year’s defense corps(e) has been pretty bad but uhh on the other hand, last year’s defensive corps was ALSO quite bad. Will Andy make tonight the night that he finally steps up and steals the Sens a game – yup that’s where we’re at, I’m talking about “stealing” a home game against the Winnipeg Jets –  If he does, it could serve as a big boost for the team going into Saturday’s tilt against the Columbia Skijackets. Human man / goaltending enthusiast Ondrej Pavlevecstarts for Tha ‘Peg.

“Colleagues, I wish you the best of luck with your upcoming games!” – Nikita Filatov

The Battle of the Special Little Guys: Atlantipeg offensive d man Tobias Enstrom was first put on my radar screen back in the hott diggity day (cool expression, right kids?) by WTYKY’s own Varada (we know each other in real life sometimes). I was in the midst of a pessimism spiral about recent first round draft pick Erik Karlsson’s chances of making the NHL. “How is this delightliful little circus elf going to crack the lineup?” I stupided, “Show me another guy this small on D besides maybe Brian Rafalski  who’s currently cutting it in the league.” With his swift eyebrows of wisdom he pointed me toward the sunny shores of Enstromia*. “Well, this kid’s about Karlsson’s  size, plays a similar game and he’s getting’ r’ done. GETTIN’ ‘R RIGHT FRIGG’N TIGHT! Frigg’n RIGHT bud!” Those were his exact words.
Anyway, I kept an eye on the kid, even picked him up for my (probably terrible) fahn-tasy team. As I watched his development as an NHL player a sense of Kalmsson began to wash over me…in an awesome wave.

L’il Toby picked up a very impressive 51 points in 72 games last season and 50 in 82 the year before. Not bad for an 8^th round pick. Dont stop believin’ Bryce Aneloski! He also skates to a Karlsson-like minus rating every year. For me, every meeting betwixt these two wood nymphs is a Battle of the Special Little Guys. Enstrom has 2 points in his last 3 games but also had a pretty brutal own-goal against the maple loafs last night. Karlsson, on the other hand, is first-bite-of-drunk-pizza-hot with 7 points in his last 5 and a team leading 8 pts overall which is awesome aside from the whole losing all but one game this year thing…so he’s also got that working against him tonight. Which Little Guy will be most special!?

You see the trick is take MORE penalties…then when the ref isn’t looking just sneak out of the box: The perfect crime. Seriously, can this team relax on the PIMs tonight? Do these guys all have themselves on their fantasy (again, pronounced Fahn-tasy) team? (You know they do). I think it will be more of the same bull if Les Boys continue to parade toward the box. The Sens certainly have an axe grind after that Bruins / Hurricaines fiasco. “NO ONE OUT PENALIZES US!” – Zack Smith
 I would love, love, love to see the Sens get on the score sheet first tonight. MAYBE EVEN GO UP BY TWO GOALS! The Sens aren’t going to go 1-81  this season *tugs collar* and those wins have to come from somewhere *awkwardly puts hand on your hand in an attempt to reassure you* …somewhere like this game.
I think a loss, especially a bad one, could be a strong indication of how bad a season this could end up being. February of last season bad. The boys have nearly everything they can have going for them heading into this game. Put a W up for people who are paying money to attend tonight, oh and also for your own pride. Rally boys! Also, something, something Sergei Gonchar is back…im going to just kind of leave that one be. Finally, really hoping for a goal from Zibanejad tonight. That would be great to see for him! He should be more comfortable back at centre tonight. On a selfish note: C’mon and score little buddy, I’m starting to get a little rookie envy from all the other teams.

*Check out the latest deals on flight and hotel packages to Enstromia at www.wtykyspedia.ca official fake travel site of welcometoyourkarlssonyears

So here’s a post I’ve been bandying about with upstairs for a while now and what better time to finally write about scoring points than after coming off a 7-1 loss to another rebuilding team. HEYYYYY, come imagineer with me on this journey to the centre of a half baked cinnebon of an idea!

Now, we all know the Warshingtub Kapitals are currently experiencing what the powerhouse Senators clubs of what feels like decades ago did. That if you don’t win the T.J. Maxx Presents Stanley Cup.com then the season is considered a failure. I say to all you Caps fans not reading this: Cup or not, enjoy making the playoffs every year. It is a lot more fun being in the mix than waiting for draft day.

Anysadness, I was creepin reading up on Backstrom in the off season and saw that his point total for the season was thus: GP 82 G 14 A 55 PTS 69

“Hmph, I’m kind of hungry” I thought. Then laterI thought, “that’s not as many points as I thought the Washington Capitals no.1 centre would have.” My next move was for some snacks then AFTER that my NEXT next move was to have a look at how Jason Spezza’s year went. GP 62 G 21 A 36 PTS 57 … wait…what?

Lets break out the Smirnoff Ice Presents The WTYKY Stat Stacker:
Games 82 Goals 14 Assists 55 Points 69 for Herr Backingstrom
Games 62 Goals 21 Assists 36 Points 57 for Senior Spezza

That’s not a load more points (12 for all you mathies) for a guy who played all 82 games compared to a guy who missed 20 (again). Of note: Backstrom also centres ALEXANDER FUCKING OVECHKIN and..uhh ALEX SEMIN. Comparable players that Spezza pivoted in 2010-2011 include Colin Greening, Eric Condra, Bobby Butler…You know, players that people who follow other teams have heard of. Do we really count injury plagued seasons from Michalek and Alfredsson? Fine count away. Injured 38 year old Alfie and banged up kneeMM exaclty like Ovechkin and Semin. Especially fair considering Washington finished in first place in the East and Ottawa in…I believe it was somewhere in the neighborhood of blurst place! Let’s try not be TOO fair about it.  

Now, I know Ovechkin and Semin had down years last season. Yeah, good stuff. You know, when he used to take me out for a phosphate down at the soda jerk, my grandpappy used to tell me “When youre up youre up and when youre down youre STILL CENTERING SEMIN AND OVECHKIN ON A FIRST PLACE TEAM!” I still think of those words every day sometimes. Meanwhile, Spezza’s got the hard hat on…in some goddamn death ring with the chainmail shit…centering some undrafted college FAs playing in the NHL for the first time for a good portion of the season.

I mean, I know I’m really putting myself out there with this one. The Caps have tons of pressure on them (which they seem to deal well with!) and will probably roll over the East  but sometimes when you might be dumber than a hamster you have to do stuff like this. Looking at the goal totals from last year Spezza knows he doesn’t have the trigger men that he used to and has taken to listening to the people who yell “SHOOOOOOT” at games and developed a bit more of a nose for the net. If popular hockey overlords Puck Daddy are to be believed, we may have seen the best we’re going to see from Ovechkin Personally, I hope not, as I love watching that guy but…who knows in this work a day world? I’m just trying to put a roof over my post and food on my blog here. I’m merely saying, lets keep an eye on these two rapscallions throughout the season along with the my now IMFAMOUS not widely read at all Filatov vs. 2010-2011 Kovalev watch!

Going into Saturday’s prrrrrobable shit show (Sens + HNIC = look away in shame night in Ottawa) both Spezza (1G, 3A ) and Backstrom (4 A) have 4 points. Spezza has one more game under his belt right now but is it really so unfair considering he is currently centering an 18 year old who will be playing his 5^th NHL game Saturday? Anyway pals, I’ll be keeping an eye on this and giving myself a prize no matter what happens! Isn’t that exciting?

Makes sense, right everyone? Enjoy the game!

“Hey there, hi there, ho there Heritage fans! Are you ready for some of the watchings the worrrrrrrrrld wake up ….from history?” – Jesus Jones

 Thanks, Jesus Jones. LOVE that new album. Just got it on ithing!

Tonight’s the night. Craig Anderson finally squares off against his former uniform in his new heritage (pronounced Her-i-Tahj) uniform…wait, if Anderson used to PLAY for Colorado…are they not part of …HIS heritage? *THEMATRIXHASYOUTHEMATRIXHASYOUTHEMATRIXHASYOUTHEMATRIXHASYOUTHEMATRIXHASYOU*

 Anyway, I am very much looking forward to the Anderson / Varlamov match up…Oh whats that? JS GIGURE plays for the Avalanche? When did THAT happen? The big question is will the ghost of Brian Elliot be haunting the building? Or will the goblins of good cheer win the day? Seriously get at me about that very important question(s).

Bounce back or Trounced Flat (boo, me): Thanks everyone for coming out to the WTYKY dunk tank at the home opener. Anyone who was on hand for the game got to hear the full brunt of the Sergio Gonchar booing. It picked up on TV I’m sure but the atmosphere in the building was pretty bloodthirsty.

Alright, Gonchar has been flat out awful in all three games he’s played. Did I boo him (or Kuba)? No. Does he deserve a booing for his effort?
I don’t know, since when is this a thing? Thanks for inventing this MONTREAL…

Anyway, people kept booing him for every little mistake and guess what? HEYYYYY he played worse and worse. It was distracting him. Look, I want to see Gonch play better as much as the next Joe Louis Vuitton bag… except probably Eugene Melnyk who actually has to pay him millions of dollars but let’s each and everyone of us do our part and stop doing something that seems to be making him play worse. On the other side of things Gonchar showed by, at least what I perceived as, his distractedness
that he might not have the thickest skin on the team. That said, can he dig deep, come back and play with a little more hustle? At this point, I would be willing to settle for a game that includes more bustle.

Speaking of Bustle: Bobby Butler draws back into the line up tonight to probably play on the fourth line and not really get to play to his strengths as a player and get sent back to the press box. I know, I know, the purpose of his benching was likely for him to think about the true meaning of applying himself harder to his shortcomings but still, if Bobby Bottle Service cant be puttings the puckings in ze net thing, I don’t think people in this town will have much good to say about him. It kind of happened last season. Note about last season: Scientists have confirmed that last season was the hottest glass of the yellowest dog pee.

Person who plays for theOttawa Senators & stalwart awesome name haver Zenon Konopka is out to make way for Brian Lee. Condra also comes out in exchange for a crystal vase of Nikita Filatov’s tears.

Well, enjoy the game shorts fans. Join me after the game on your front lawn where I will be burning my name into it.

Ahhhhh hockey season. A time for hockey games and hockey game introductions!
Join me Reader, let’s give em somethin’ to talk about! A little myst’ry to figure out…
Let me just put it right out there and address that elephant in the room that everyone is talking about:

Tonight will mark the return of Matt Cullen to Scotiabank place. How will he be received by the
Ottawa Faithful? Nods in his general direction? Creed CDs thrown on the ice in protest of the new goal song “With Arms Wide Open” by Creed? The drinking of Black Licorice Smirnoff Ice? DING!

A lot is being said about tonight’s Smirnoff Ice Presents Healthy Scratches:
Filatov, Butler, and Lee all sit tonight. A lot is being made of it. It does seem weird to sit not one but two finesse forwards. Bobby B. from the fourth line to the pressbox in two games…eeee. Anyway, I think until we’re 9 games into the season and some decisions have been made on some of the new comers to the team. I’m actually interested in seeing how Filatov bounces back after being sent to the dog bin. Cant wait to see that kid score a goal. We know Lee can handle a good ol’ fashioned benchin.’ Hope to see a solid performance from Rundblad’s cool hair. That’s all nice and easy, breezy solid play. Also drawing into the line up is feisty up and comer Brad Marsh.

Grape Expectations:
Look, these last two games…have been a lesson in being a fan of a rebuilding team. I used to desire actual
victories from our boys. Not no mores. Nope. Now I, as a paying customer (ill be in the last row tonight, come by and say hi to me!), I expect, not an embarrassing blow out. Simple enough. For tonight, I would like to see a solid body check that knocks Heater on his ass. Just want to hear the building go nuts at the home opener. Is this game sold out yet? Dany Heatley at the home opener? What does it take?

Are you there, Volchy Bear? It’s me, James… 

Hi Storks Fans!

Can we talk about pre-season? Great! Let’s talk about preseason for a minute here.
So I was watching something on TSN (Baaaaaasic Caaaaable Speeeeendin’ G’s – Jay-Z feat. UGK) that was reviewing injuries to players on another team. Now, let it be said, I wish no harm to any of our brave men and other men in various NHL uniforms but I have to say I was
a little relieved to see that OTHER TEAMS BESIDES OTTAWA INCUR INJURIES TOO!!
No, seriously, lets review, the Sens have played what? 20 preseason games in the last 14 days. All against Toronto.

Sidebar: could Ottawa and Torontoplay a little less, please?  Too much of a good thing, guys, little much.

Lots of preseason games and not many nights and lets look at the list of players who are currently injured or have missedsome time due to “tweaks” or “bobos” or “maintenance” or “chrysanthemums” or “Dumdum Fever”  

Peter Regin – Oh just the shoulder he had surgery on which was hurt on what could only be described as a very routine play along the boards. Science Corner: NHL centre need very strong shoulders!

Craig Anderson – Fu-cking, GULP.

Alex Auld – Ladies and Gentlemeeeeen your starting AAAAAAAAND backup goooaltenderrrrr, Roooooobiiiiiiin Leeeeehneeeeeeerrrrrr

Christoph Phillips – Will this rear guard become the first NHL player since Gordie Howe to play 82 NHL games at 82 years of age?

Jessie Winchester – Not a great condition to start the season in for a guy who is facing some pretty serious job competition.

Matt Carkner – Not a great condition to start the season in for a guy who is the defense version of Jessie Winchester

MilanMichalek – Good to see him come back quickly but …god did the injury HAVE to be to his robot knee? Stay tuned.

Zenon Konopka – Heyyy BOTH the Sens 4^th line centres have missed time already. Did this guy even play once yet? Supposedly back stuff.

Stephane DaCosta – with Regin, DaCosta,Winchester, and Konopka all feeling a little tender a call up from the Nepean Raiders is only a phone call away.  

 Honorable Mention:
Daniel Alfredsson – Im just nervous about this whole situation

Jason Spezza – Missed some practices which is a red flag for a guy whos missed 20 games the last two sesasons

I probably missed some people too *hardest collar tug* .

 Okay, before none of you call me out in the comment section, I realize that the vast majority of players listed are NHL veterinarians that the staff are just being overly cautious with to ensure that they are in the lineup opening night against team that has Pavel Datsyuk on it, the Detroit Red Wings. But let me raise this dear reader, what if they ARENT. We have seen in recent years how a season can go if a player goes into it recovering from injury be itLeclaire or Alfredsson or Spezza or Kuba or Michalek or Kovalev or Fisher or Infinity or Infinity and beyond. . .  
I’m just saying. In our HOT AND FRESH prediction post Pete made note of how thin things could get down the middle should there be an injury or two.
Well, you could say that Pete has already won himself a pint of Black Licorice flavored Smirnoff Ice seeing as Regin is already questionable for opening night, Winchester will probably be watching a Land Before Time DVD that night too and well…no ones really talking about Konopka and HEY even post-depth, depth like DaCosta is on the mend.

Oh brother. What happens when the games start mattering and our precious little crystals like Butler, Filatov and Karlsson are being hunted harder than goalies at a clinic with Robin Lehner (HIIIIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOO).

This team is pretty much clearly divided into two camps during this rebuild and they are Vets and Wildly Inexperienced youth. If the vets cant hold up … we’re gunna be paying Ottawa Senator prices for a Binghamton/SEL lineup! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SENATORRRRRRRSSSSS BOOOOODIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES!!!

Just in time for our birthday one month ago! Comes: Birthday Post!

Thing that’s true that you care about: It was a breezy July 28th, 2010 when construction crews completed work on the striking and luxurious Cory Clouston Fashion Review headquarters and spa campus. From our offices atop the 82nd floor of the main building we wrote our first post about something really, REALLY memorable.  :)!  By the way, if anyone can remember how we wrote about stuff for all of August please post your answers in the comment section below.

So puppycats, a lot has changed in a year! From predicting that Peter Regin would score 20 (OR MORE) goals to the namesake of this blog being canned it has been a whirl of wind. All I know is that we are all now very, very wealthy from this blog. Hey, speaking of predictions, this year looks even harder to make totally inaccurate forecasts! Goddamn I cant explain how excited I am to see what the whole mess looks like in action.

Let’s, together, for a moment, imagineer the past season…And by ‘together’ I mean I’m just going to write some stuff…follow along on your computer book!

Though I was never under the impression that the Senators were a cup contender the past few seasons, I did believe they had a shot at the playoffs with their lineup. Well…a shot that leaned heavily on the roulette game that has been the goaltending tandem(s) (do you still call it a tandem when one person becomes a hologram that haunts a body cast?).

The post-Heatley squad who took the team into the first round (if only just to REALLY demonstrate what a tease Pascal Leclaire was) proved that with the parity of the league and a few inexplicable 10 game winning streak bounces, you could at least squeak into the top 8 of the weird, weird East. I thought that was all that mattered. I had a half baked theory that owners/GMs shared a plan along the lines of “If youre a Canadian or big market team, at least stay in the playoff hunt and you’re good.” Now, I’m not trying to infer that these owners and GMs don’t want to compete to the very top of the compete level competramid but I figured in the exact words of The Euge that “Those who live in blow up the team houses should, instead of throwing blow up stones might rather blow themselves————up——–every single day foreve—

Question from the audience: “Hey, what’s that? What’s that you’re talking about?” – You

Great question(s)! I thought our team was decent enough to keep middling about in the conference for next few seasons til most of the team turned forty. I mean, they were sort of doing that already…I didn’t think they were your perennial shot-at-the-cup-haver Pittsborough Pengus but not quite your New York Island of Dr. Moreau’s Lottery Pixx either. To me, I figured at the start of the season that the Sens still rested in the creamy middle. Sure the goaltending was often terrifying to watch but lest we forget the case of Boucher vs. Niemi: Stanley Cup final. That factor, coupled with our capable core of all too familiar faces like Uncle Chris Kelly and Cousin you have a crush on Mike Fisher… as fans, I figured,  the only real shake up we’d see would be our revolving door of trade deadline rentals. Why should management/ownership sacrifice dependable middleship for Garbageship? – literally a ship made of garbage.  All it took was that one win in a month sans Jason Spezza to really put it out there that this squad we once loved along with Alex Kovalev…was done. The Sens…stunk and didn’t look like they cared much about their odor.

Grandpapaw Murray held a fire sale retaining only his captain, his star centre, his shut(ish)down defenseman, his goon, and his robot kneed-husky faced winger as his core of vets, Gonchar and Karlsson as America’s favorite cat and mouse team and also Foligno, Regin, Lee, Carkner and Kuba as his delta squadron…of…dudes who…are…Anyway, do I need to continue this recap? It’s still August and you have nothing else to read (WHY ELSE WOULD YOU BE HERE?) so Im going to continue to recap. New to the fold came Craig Anderson, Bobby Butlaaaah, Eric Condra, Colin Greening, Zack Smith. These guys actually looked pretty alright given a consistent shot. Oh but there’s a new creamy middle for 2011-2012. The sweet, sweet run off of the rebuild, the new, young guys waiting and sharpening their throwing stars in the shadows to actually compete for jobs that they could possibly get : Da Costa, Cowan, Rundblad, Zibanejad, Nikita Filatov (remember THAT?), Lehner, Weircioch, Silferberg, infinity. Also, something something Alex Auld is back aaaaaand something something SOMETHING Zenon Konopka ladies and germs(tlemen)!

… So the point is…”Who am this squadron and why me are pretty into this?” Gone are the stalwart questions like: Can Mike Fisher have a similar season to last year? Can Chris Kelly have a similar season to last year? Who will Ruutu eat? How many years will Kovalev be resigned for and for HOW MANY MORE MILLIONS? Which goalie will be first to lose and then regain and then lose starting position? Who will be acquired at the deadline for our one possible round? Can Karlsson and Kuba PLEASE trade contracts? Nope. Not no mores…those questions. Well maybe the last one.

The Ottawa Mysterions take the ice in a little over a month. I gotta say, Im nervously excited about the team…I don’t know if they’ll do all that great but it is titillating that I have very little clue how they’ll do this season. When Verada used to say “Blow up this team already” I used to bristle and argue against it because, to be perfectly frank, I didn’t think I could stomach the bottom dwelling. I feel ive been steeled a bit by last season’s total lethargic garbage dump of a showing. We “survived” *rolls eyes at self* that mess, surly it will be more fun to watch a potentially steamrolled team with some HEART. That and a goalie who has a chance of saving a rebound. Yes, the organization is selling hope (and weird nostalgia from yestercentury) but I don’t think it can be denied that this year IS different. I am actually excited to attend preseason games BECAUSE of the lineup of non-stars instead of just wondering when Jim O’Brien was going to break his LEGENDARY silence about not coming close to making the line up.

Avast ye swabs, let us set sail on the S.S. MacLeanstache!