WELCOME 2 ALL  that haven’t given up on the team!

Coming off another shart of an effort against the POWERHOUSE Columbus Blue Jackets, Ottawa heads off to the friendly confines of whatever soulless name of the arena the Flyers play in is…I’m going to guess…mmm.. Tushies.com Wet Wipes Centre.
As I’ve brought up before, the vibe surrounding the team is…grim.

When the NHL schedule was released and I saw that the Sens would start the majority of October not only on the road but on a Western swing I thought it was weird but that it could be worse. I don’t know if you noticed but Ottawa tends to do terribly on these trips.
I figured, “Might as well get it out of the way, work some kinks out away from home.” Well, much of the trip was admittedly ugly and it was under far more scrutiny than usual as they were the first games of this much anticipated season but I thought returning with a .500 record was actually likely a better result than they’d typically come back with.
When the team returned to the Acadian Tires Arena, I looked ahead on the schedule to see what games I might get tickets to and was alarmed to find out that the Senators would have matinee games every weekend they were home in November and well into December. “But James,” you might rudely cut in, “Aren’t a lot of those games against bottom feeder teams?”
Well, first off do not look me in the eyes..EVER, Secondly you are forbidden from addressing me by my Government Name and third, it doesn’t matter if the team is bad, Dear Reader, as, if you thought the Senators are bad on Western road trips you should see them play a matinee game. Am I making excuses? No. These are home games against a bunch of Tomato Can opponents, you have to win those! How you gonna tell me the goddamn Edmonton Oilers are going to travel here and play in the afternoon and steal away a win? The Stars too? Now the BJs? Terrible.
In my view, Ottawa has sharted away 3 of the 6 easier points in November that they will likely want in the Spring time. The loss to the Blue Jackets really punctuated their blown opportunities this season.
Tonight is no exception as an opportunity for victory as Ottawa faces off against the mindbendingly disappointing Philadelphia Flyers. Seriously, you think Ottawa is disappointing you? I can still catch myself talking about the Sens run to the cup final like it wasn’t the same year Celine Dion released her LEGENDARY album Taking Chances (Translation: it was a WHILE ago!). Look at these fucking guys they made the final just 3 seasons ago and in since time have:
– Released a handful of goalies (BTW one of whom is the reining Vezina winner, another merely won the Stanley Cup AND Jennings but at least they only have to pay Ilya Bryzgalov until the year 2020 for less than 100 games of service!),
-Have fired their coach
-Lost their Captain to career ending injury
– Replaced their captain with an exciting young player who is tied for scoring with Mark Borowiecki
– Made idiotic trades (James Van Riemsdyk for Magic Beans Luke Schenn)
– Seen top end prospects flop around (Sean Couturier 0G, 4A in in 19 games)
– Made some clumsy looking FA signings to supposedly core players (I’m looking at you offensive powerhouse Mark Streit – 0 goals, 6 assists AKA Chris Phillips stat line – but at least he’s only signed until he’s 39)
….Oh, and perhaps most important of all…they are spending to the cap while doing it.
I’m not going to throw glass in stone a;dfkljsdf; as some of these very problems have happened to the Senators since their cup run but at least Ottawa struggles as a budget team not yet finished their rebuild. They are actually supposed to be mediocre. Philadelphia are supposed to be contenders….and they are 2 points ahead of Florida.

WOW. Well we’ve had lots and lots and lots and lots of fun so far!

Good News: Robin Lehner is starting
Bad News: UFC 666 Lehner v. Emery Has Been Postponed. 
No disrespect to the rare unicorn that is defeating the Boston Bruins but after a bit of a steamrolling the boys could use the cold unforgiving stability that The Dark One provides in net. Maybe I’m reading too much into this (after promising not to! THANKS FOR READING!) but I’m a little concerned about the team playing differently in front of Lehner than Anderson. We’ve seen it before when the boys don’t trust one goalie as much as the other. But considering that Andy still has a .904 save percentage I think it’s more likely that goaltending isn’t straight up stealing the team wins constantly like it was last year. Still, with only 1 win and a 4.16 goal against average in his past 6 games Anderson is struggling pretty mightily of late. It will be up to Lehner tonight to continue to show the organization and more importantly the team that he is ready to step in and let them get away with all kinds of bologna so they can concentrate on just passing it to Bobby Ryan (key to victory).
Steve Mason starts for Philadelphia and has a .968 save percentage in his last two starts which ..is…nice for him. 

HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Colin Greening Has Zero Points In 14 Games! 
Oy vey. But at least he’s only signed for the next three years…starting next year. I’d accept that kind of production from Erik Condra (who’s back and good too!) but bro, you played on the first line a couple years ago! Chip one in here and there huh? I’m not trying to say he belongs up in the top six but this point drought is unacceptable no matter where you play (save for Kassian who plays Fruit Ninja on the bench). I think Murray bought a bit high on Greening after a beastly playoff performance. I don’t know about you Eddy, but I have no clue why this guy hasn’t found himself in Bruce Garrioch’s Twitter Blocking Lounge (Press Box) more.
On the subject of healthy scratches, another owner of a fresh new 3 year deal, Patrick Wiercioch finds himself taking a seat again. Whew. This is getting ugly. Bro looked amazing during preseason and I am ready to hand him the Brandon Bochenski Award for Biggest Preseason Tease! I’ve heard rumours that Bryan Murray is sniffing around for a puck moving defender…which is all kinds of insane considering the team has Erik Karlsson, Patrick Wiercioch and Joe Corvo. Well, that and they have been terrible defensively and would be better served by a puck stopping defenseman. Don’t listen to me though I’m just a garbage man from Garbage Island that’s maaaaade of garbage.
Cory Conacher will get another game on Spezza’s wing tonight. You seriously have to hope he’s going to put one up soon. Murray gave up a starting goaltender for him. You can do it CC!

A note on this Michalek-Havlat Trade Rumor (via RESPECTED NHL INSIDER Donii Brennan): 
I’m a Sens fan, I miss Martin Havlat six ways from Sunday (THATS OVER FIVE WAYS FROM SUNDAY!) but am I alone in thinking that it seems like all kinds of idiotic to say “Let’s get rid of the injury plagued Milan Michalek for Martin Havlat”? Say what you will about Milo’s robot knees but he’s played more than twice the games Havlat has this year.  Also Havlat’s been a healthy scratch this alreadt this season (albeit on a firing on all cylinders Sharks squad), oh and he has another year left on his deal. I think Havlat’s great and all but I would be very surprised to see it go down…stiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill…wouldn’t kick that trade out of bed as we’ve all seen what Havlat can do…buuuuuuuut…risky as fuck…ugh this thing is a roller coaster of emojis…plus it came from an Ottawa Sun writer so you KNOW it’s only a matter of time until it happens (JJJJJJJJ/////////////////////KKKKKKK)…thoughts?

What Reason are you going to tell us that this game is important THIS time James? 
Again, with the looking into my eyes and referring to me by my Government Name. Anyway, it’s important because even though Ottawa got a couple of monkeys off the old back both in beating Tim Thomas as well as beating the Boston Bruins but the fact remains that they’ve put up two of their worst games of the month in the past week. That’s a balance I think we’d all like to see stop A$AP. With a game tomorrow against Minnesota (Exciting news: Dany Heatley will have his number retired by the Wild this year … wait ‘retiring your number’ is when they team buys you out right?) and another back to back against Detroit and Carolina on the weekend, Ottawa could use two points of padding as well as some confidence going into a tough situation.  I think Lehner gives the team a great chance to win but again, he’s not the one who needs to improve.

WIN THIS ONE FOR THE BACK TO BACK BACK TO BACKS! GO SENS! 

That Bear slipped in some butterscotch…or no wait I guess it slipped on some ice…not as funny but you come to this website for the straight facts and that’s what we’re going to give you…anyway, what am I talking about oh right, hockey sports!

Hi everyone,

Well, first off, thank The Creationistor that there was a three day layoff in between a humiliating loss to the Flyers and tonight’s tilt against the Bruins. That way we each and every last one of us had time to come together in the brother and sisterhood of friends and freak the fuck out over everything to do with the team. It has been, to quote Satan His/Herself, “A whirl of wind.”
Is it just me or has the vibe surrounding this season been AMC’s The Killing Season 2 level dark? As a person who follows hockey as an escape from the day in day out ratking eat ratking daily flogging where you just wish Flanders was dead this has been a less than fun opening quarter. Things were looking up, Ottawa hadn’t actually had a regulation loss yet in the month of November then one blowout loss (that was admittedly a complete chore to watch) and…
– Spezza is a failure.
– Anderson is garbage.
– Let’s hold something Jared Cowen cares about for ranson until he plays better
– Coaching is all wrong.
– Team needs to make an emergency trade.
– No one goes to games.
– It places the lotion into the basket

THIS:

Maybe this is my shit. Maybe it’s all me and I just (definitely) spend too much time on Twitter. Look baby I can change my garbagy ways (I totally cannot by the way so ladies/human beings, form a line).
That loss was awful. This season isn’t going quite according to plan and maybe it’s the Alfie departure talking but do things really seem THAT fucked? Where people are calling for the Jack Adams winning coach’s head?
Spezza’s possession numbers are very very bad but lucky the fans who’s struggling captain has 16 points in 17 games while he figures his shit out! I mean think about it. Philadelphia captain Claude Giroux scored just his first goal OF THE SEASON less than a week ago. And he’s getting paid more than Spezza and is signed until the year 2058. Could we even stomach something like that? Not to make excuses…actually whatever, making excuses a little bit, I think Spezza is playing hurt. As an die hard Ottawa Senators fan, I feel I have a lot of experience watching him play hurt. A groin injury is one of those annoyingly perfect injuries to frustrate everyone. You can stretch it out enough between games that you are fit enough to play…but you probably shouldnt cuz that thing is going to mess your game up two shifts in and as we all know a Spezza who must cut corners is the most annoying Spezza of all. I kind of just wish he’d sit a couple and not be a hero. Turris is already holding it DI-DOWN as top centre…take a load off. Let someone else turn the puck over for a few games and get well soon!
Here’s what I’m saying, Ottawa just played probably it’s worst game of the season, but honestly, the team is not an unmitigated disaster.
Here’s some good: 
– They are producing quite well offensively
– They have a 2nd line that is clicking to the point that they are now the 1st line
– They have one of the better penalty kills in the league (handy for all the penalties they take!)
– They are getting .900+ goaltending from both goalies (one of whom has been straight up outstanding..it’s a secret which one it is!)
– Karlsson’s career did not end praise be to The Lion of Judah for He makes all things possible. He’s looking faster and faster each game. The more he heals the more he can break open games.
– Despite struggling mightily out of the gate the team is still sitting at .500
Here’s what’s bad: 
– Despite uncharacteristically good goal production I am not kidding the power play looks like a goddamn penalty kill most of the time. I’m no Rt. Hon. William Lyon Mackenzie Hockeycoachingskillz but that is ri-goddamn-diculous.
– The defense has been killing this team’s chances a lot of nights.
– Oy with these LINE COMBINATIONS can we not give guys more than a shift to try and gel?
– The team is .500 and they are better than that.

In short, the defense as a unit, an inept power play and a lack of chemistry have been what’s ailing the team. This is not unfixable. Hey I’m confused too. This was a defensively strong team less than a year ago and now its a defensively weak team. Part of me thinks the drop off is because this is actually NOT the team we saw last year and it is still learning to play together. I’m not ready to pack it in. Look at the standings. There are teams that are for REAL-real at the “fire the entire coaching staff, fire the GM, oh uh we are Infinity years deep into our rebuild and we are still in last so I know let’s look at trading a player that we just tanked an entire season to pick 1st overall LESS THAN 17 MONTHS AGO” level of fucked. Ottawa is not that. They got their asses deservedly kicked because they put up an uninspired effort…That was a full team loss and there’s no specific person to blame nor is there one miracle move Bryan Murray could make to cure that.
James?
Yes, dear?
Could you shut the Christ up and move on?
Sounds great!

HEYYYYY Michael Zibanderhands is on the fourth line b/c “<insert literally any word here> probs” 
I actually quite like Derek Grant. He’s been a quietly solid player for Ottawa and a  valuable penalty killer. Matt Kassian is a human man who is paid to occasionally play the coolest sport on wheels, NHL hockey(.com)…Hmmmm, we have a goon and penalty killing call up…you know what this line could use? A sixth overall pick who has put up good numbers this season. This preview has been all about venting THANKS FOR READING! I honest to God I hope this line gets one shift and that Spezza gets to play with Zibanejad for I don’t know, how abouuuut MORE THAN 5 MINUTES? Like I said earlier I think Spezza’s in rough shape right now and if you’re not going to break ups the 16-7-9 line *wipes forehead in relief* can you at least give him the big, strong, fast guy with a great shot who’s actually scored some goals this year? Asking for a ghost. Maybe this punishment stuff will work on him? Like when he was returned from Bingo and put up points immediately. And it is punnishment, let’s not pretend having to play with Kassian while trying to work your way back into the top six isn’t.

Craig Anderson is getting the start.
I see what MacLean is doing here. He doesn’t want to break Anderson’s brain after what happened on Tuesday. I’m not saying I’m into it…I get it. Weird after Lehner got nearly every game against Boston last season. But the coach feels the need to through him to into the Bear filled pool rather than give him the Sunday game against Columbus. Let’s hope the Bruins don’t know about wrap arounds! Don’t worry they wont try that, that would be way too interesting to watch and interesting ain’t Beantown’s game.
No word on who Boston is starting. Chad Johnson (broiest name ever?) was in net last night for the Brewins so that might mean that we see Ttuukkaa Rraasskk tonight…which doesn’t really matter seeing as Claude Julien makes his whole frigging team play like the goalie anyway.
Boston is just the perfect team for Ottawa to play coming off of a game where they were shut out (SARCASM!). On a more positive note if they can beat Boston that would probably be their biggest victory since their win over Detroit back in what feels like the early 1700’s now.

So we’ve had lots and lots and lots and lots of fun together on this #Friday game preview! If Ottawa has any chance of winning this (or any other) game, the D is really going to have to get its bologna 2-geth-r. My guess is MacLean is going to have the team tighten up and hang back while Boston tightens up and hangs back…SHOULD BE A BARRRRRRRNNNNNNNN BURNERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

WTYKY Mic’d Up to Robin Lehner’s Mind:

Win this one for Deaner!

Hi everyone

I have an announcement to make:
For the first time in my 56 years as an Ottawa Senators fan a goaltending controversy is abrewin and I am…really excited about it.
Before I get into why, let me preface this by saying, I think emotions are a little heightened surrounding this whole storyline as, yes, Robin Lehner has just won three games in a row and has looked superb in those wins, but two were against bottom dwelling teams (Columbus, Florida City) and one respectable team in Montreal (hand wanking motion).
Have I thought that Lehner has looked better than Anderson has this year? Yeah, I have. Still, it is so early….so goddamn early in the season. What if Anderson won his next 3 straight starts? After all he’s already won 3 straight starts this season (a string against Phoenix, New Jersey and Detroit last month). Oh, but that’s exactly what’s exciting about it. To say that less than one and a half months and fewer than 20 games of hockey has warranted a full blown goalie controversy is pretty excessive to me. Will that stop it from happening? From what I can tell on the Sensphere today, the wheels are in motion my friends and I actually welcome it.
Unlike Senators goaltending controversies of years past, this one features TWO REALLY GOOD GOALTENDERS! Nothing wrong with a little healthy competition. Anderson is getting the start tonight, he plays out of his mind the next little while and solidifies his position as no.1 starter fine with me. Lehner continues to shine in his opportunities and steals Andy’s job? Also works for me! As for the calls to trade Anderson, I wouldn’t count on it any time soon. I think Anderson’s recent injury, to say nothing of his injury last year that caused him to miss 18 games, does little more than legitimize the need to have two very good goaltenders. Especially if you have a team as prone to giving up shots as the Senators are this year. I mean we were just one successful Brendan (has anyone named their kid Brandon in the past 20 years btw) Gallagher goalie run away form Nathan Lawson starting in net for a team that can give up up to 50 shots to the New York Islanders.
I believe that Lehner is the future netminder of the organization but I believe for the time being the organization needs to take advantage of getting their two awesome goaltenders to duel over who is more awesome. Hoping Craig Anderson can start making it interesting tonight.

OH GOOOOOOOOOD Everyone’s Favorite Hockey Player Steve Downie Is Back! 
Steven Aloysius Downie (.com) first captured the imagination of hockey fans everywhere when he led the OHL in number of teammate’s teeth knocked out after crosschecking an unsuspecting Akim Aliu who, again, was on his motherfucking team, in the face. Oh but that was during a practice. Not a game! Not a game. We sittin here talkin about practice. After making the All Mandatory Professional Counselling team, Downie showed what he was saving for a real PRE-SEASON game where he tried to give Dean McAmmond brain damage with a brutal hit to the head that knocked him unconscious, again, IN A FUCKING PRESEASON GAME. Downie’s heart and soul earned him the NHL’s prestigious L’il Sociopath Achievement Award which includes a 20 game suspension!
Listen, I want to keep going on this rant but his accomplishments would take up too much of this preview and I am just so excited to talk about what Steve Downie’s return could mean for Ottawa’s star player’s unsuspecting heads! There have been rumors that Downie has softened over the past couple of seasons. There is evidence to support this alarming trend in his game. Downie’s last suspension was only a pathetic one gamer, his last fine a measly $2,500! What’s worse is his torrid scoring streak of late (1G, 6A) does nothing but perpetuate his new identity as a finesse player. His 7 points are good for 4th on the Flyers (his fourth team in 6 seasons always a sign of a quality guy). Coming in HOTTT and straight into the fire of Philly’s scoring race, Downie sits jsut one point back from captain Claude Giroux and perennial All Star Vincent Lecavalier’s team leading 8 points, If Downie could apply his LEGENDARY focus he could potentially surpass Giroux and perhaps usurp his Olympic roster spot. One thing is for sure, Karma is on his side! Sorry that was all just a big set up to point out that the team lead for scoring on the Flyers is three way tie for 8 points. By the By, Kyle Turris has 9 points in his last 6 games because Salary Cap.

God, what else?
I still think Ottawa has only had a few truly dominant looking wins so far this year. I went to the Panthers game on the weekend…little more tentative a win than I’d have like to have seen against not just the Florida Panthers but the Florida Panthers that just sacked their entire coaching staff. Still a win’s a win and a win against Tim Thomas is the greatest love of all. Not so easy without Boston’s defense holding off all that socialized healthcare now eh Timmy?
Tonight’s a big game for Ottawa’s defense. With power play specialist / bottom pairing defenseman (normal hockey stuff) Chris Phillips sidelined with an undisclosed injury. Joe Corvo will draw into the lineup. After a benching in Saturday’s game Erik Karlsson will have a bit to prove to the coach in regard to his play in Ottawa’s zone. You’re not going to meet a bigger fan of EK than me and rescue dogs but his shift that lead to one of Florida’s goals was a real stinker. I acutally think Karlsson can defend quite well but so far this season he’s really lacked in that area. Anyway, I don’t mind Erik Karlsson with something to prove. Hoping for more solid play from call up Mark Borowiecki, who is also tied in scoring with Claude Giroux, who will see more time on the second pairing with Marc Methot.
Other welcome news is that Jason Spezza will start the game between Milan Michalek and Cory Conacher who both aren’t Chris Neil, which is nice. Also nice is that Flyers coach Craig Berube will likely mistake the Spezza line for the Sens top line and match his best players up against it. Would really love to see Conacher get a goal tonight! He’s been a good soldier so far this season and I hope he can take advantage of some increased ice time.
All joking aside the Flyers should not be taken lightly. As a cap team they have a number of quality players in their lineup and it could come together at any moment. What’s that? UGH, just when I type “all joking aside” I learn that Steve Mason is starting. That’s it, I can’t go on. Enjoy the game everyone…and seriously boys…beat the GD Flyers huh?

“HAAY Bill, The Sens gotta get the BATS goin’…HAAY BILL, if you were the Habs…and you were made of garbage…would you defeat yourself?”

Look, I don’t want to be rude but I have to make this quick….I have to rendez-vous with Mayor Jim Watson in few minutes to sell him the reasonable sized bag of yogurt covered raisins I picked him up from Bulk Barn on the sly. I’ll admit that I’m helping enable one of the Mayor’s worst habits but if I feel that if I can help keep his excellency’s cravings for his favorite relatively low calorie fix under control then he can continue focusing on what’s important: Working toward extending light rail transit to the Canadian Tire Centre in time for the 2048-2049 preseason when the Seattle Senators play an exhibition game against the Burlington Maple Leafs 2.

You know what’s an overlooked story line about the MacArthur – Turris – Ryan line? That I am very much in love with it.
These guys have been like Snowbirds out there…and not the kind that keep the Florida Panthers from folding. The last game featured a great goal from Clarke MacArthur on a glamorous feed from Robert Ryan to put Ottawa up by two and that, of course, makes the highlight reel. One thing that stuck with me though was how many chances Kyle Turris just narrowly missed (not a bad thing btw). Off the top of my head I can remember 3 or 4 instances where a matter of inches could have given Turry a goal or two. I thought Turris was good in Ottawa’s zone as well. And Bubby you don’t KNOW from this Bobby Ryan! The kid has such a deceptive release and he seems to be able to at least get the puck on net despite pressure, traffic or position in the offensive zone. No wonder he has nearly 10 goals already. MacArthur’s possession skills and Turris and Ryan’s ability to both shoot and make plays must make this line a nightmare to defend. Great to see these guys firing on all cylinders. Ottawa will need them to remain the team’s offensive engine tonight against Montreal, a team who may have trouble getting things off the top of the refrigerator but doesn’t have much difficulty finding the back of the net (which has a clearance of 4 feet).

They’ll be lots of PP time for PK and EK…I am…so sorry about that.
No one is enjoying the delicious taste of yogurt covered raisins more than me when it comes to this Michel Therrien / PK Subban beef….well maybe one guy is but still I’M ENJOYING IT. I don’t think, however, that it’s grounds to dismiss the reigning Norris Borrower Subban. Bob MacKenzie pointed out that it should be noted when talking about Subban’s benching for the final four minutes of a game the other nigh, that it was following a power play that he was out for over 1 minute and 50 seconds of. I don’t know who you are Eddie, but I actually think Therrien is smart for putting Subban out there for what he’s good at and benching him for an crucial stretch of the game. Let’s hope he goes back to the Therrien we know and laugh at.
The timing of this game is very exciting as the big story going into the playoff series between these two teams was the showdown of PK and EK. Problem was, Sens fans knew Karlsson was a shell of his regular self upon returning from months off recovering from a severe injury. This makes tonight kind of awesome because Habs fans (known for their measured approach to analysing the game) are under the impression Karlsson sucks. This makes sense because
1. Stuff like this:

2. Montreal STILL lost.
3. Hi Haters.
In the past two games Ottawa’s played, Karlsson has looked noticeably quicker and more comfortable. I think it sounds like a great time to play a game where he has something to prove.
These are both dynamic offensive defensemen who will be one of the most enjoyable parts of this rivalry to watch over the next couple of years before Subban becomes a UFA and gets the hell out of Montreal.

OHHH SNAAAP, Kassian and Parros Might Fight Because WHO GIVES A SHIT!
I’m not even firing up the fighting debate here. It’s more that this keeps getting talked about like it’s a major element of the game. It will happen and not be important. I mean the fact that it’s guaranteed to happen makes it unimportant to the game in my book. Regardless, tonight we will bare witness to the next chapter in Matt Kassian and George Parros’ LEGENDARY blood feud over the Gryba/Eller hit! Who will emerge the victor? The guy who wasn’t involved with the hit or the guy who wasn’t on the team at the time?
IT”S GUNNA BE A FORCED FEELING BARN BURNER!!!

Now to say some positive things about tough guys…
As I’ve mentioned a couple of times already, it’s only been 2 games but Mark Borowiecki has been exactly the type of player Ottawa’s needed on the back end since his call up. Bringing equal parts GOODOTTAWABOYOCITY and GIVEAFUCKTOITIVENESS to the lineup. Seriously though, he played another solid game making simple but smart plays and bullying the Bluejackets without sacrificing positioning or taking lazy penalies. Again, exactly what the Sens defense needed. Though he is apparently waiver exempt sending the struggling Cowen down to the minors to find his game seems very unllikely (and frankly a bit much) but considering that for the second straight game Milan Michalek and Hood Pope Cory Conacher will find themselves on the 3rd and 4th lines if he doesn’t improve drastically I think we could see Jared toiling on the bottom pairing while Borowiecki racks up top 4 minutes. I think some healthy competition from Boro could do Cowen good well good whatever fuck.
We’ve been really hard on Chris Neil because poorly timed penalties will be poorly timed penalties! Anyway, I must say, Neil’s goal was an absolute snipe show. Good to see. Not sure how I feelabout him taking feeds from Spezza  (j/k I am sure of how I feel) but it was a really important goal. I don’t think he’s a useless player or anything but he has been really running around so far. He had his shit way more together (and that’s considering he fought TWICE) on Tuesday and I applaud him for it.

SMANG EM!
Key to Victory: Smang em (Smash em and Bang em). They may have added a bit of not very skilled size this off season by picking up Parros but with actual decent player Brandon Prust not dressing tonight these are still very much Les Petites Canadiens. I’m hoping the Sens can wear em down without being dirty about it.

More Information on Smanging found here: 

Ugh, I need to take a shower now

Carey Price gets the start against Robin Lehner (who is apparently really getting to rituals involving poisonous snakes now).

Win it for Pageau!

Yeah, you know what? That thing doesn’t look half bad to have in your life.

Remember Snuggies? Yeah whatever, that woman actually looks like she’s enjoying life more than me so who am I to say anything about anything, moving on.

Thoughts are with our old buddy and Civil War Reinactor extraordinaire  Nick Foligno as he tends to a serious family matter tonight and will not play.

Hi everyone!

Like the late great rap singer T.I. (which stands for Thermodynamic Integration) once wrapped (sic), “What chu know about 5 game winless streaks?” and then, and then, and then he was all, “I know all about thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat” and then I was all, “He’s rap singing what we’re all thinkin’!”
Today we are all Thermodynamic Integration. In the past few weeks we Ottawa Senators fans have been witness to a variety of losses:
– Squeakers (Anaheim)
– Arse whoopings (San Jose)
– Very winnable games where they played pretty well and should have taken it (Dallas)
– Blown leads (Chicago, NY Islanders, Infinity)
– Blown leads in games they didn’t really deserve to win I mean when you give up over 50 shots how in the Christ do you expect to get away with that type of bologna (NY Islanders)

All the kinds! …..I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THE KINDS YOU COULD SAY!

November is a much, much softer month than the death march that was October. I thought the road to victory would commence at least on Sunday…but thanks to some bad luck on an own goal coupled with the Senators’ TIME HONORED TRADITION of being unable to take and/or hold on to a lead, here we are; five games deep in a winless streak. Can the Senators step up and finally get back in the win column? The answer:
I DON’T KNOW BUT I THINK SO!!! #FEARLESSSSS

Sunday’s game against Dallas had a few things to be happy about. One of them would be Paul MacLean’s psychedelic line combinations stopped tripping balls so much. Tonight’s projected lines from the past couple of practices have been:
Greening – Spezza – Zibanejad
MacArthur – Turris – Ryan
Michalek – Smith – Neil
Kassian – Grant – Conacher

I am actually into these lines…well, with the exception of Kassian playing tonight but we’re not going to get into that…
I haven’t been as low on Milan Michalek as a lot of people out there. He’s no “each player on the second line” but I don’t think he’s been dreadful or anything. But hey, you don’t have 3 points in your last three games without making a few enemies am I right, LADIES?
Michalek on the 3rd line, much like Conacher being bumped to the lower fourth dimension, has intriguing potential. Michalek and Conacher aren’t bottom six players. Maybe the skilled and speedy Cory Conacher can make something happen lining up against Columbus’ fourth line of Sean Collins (?), Michael Chaput (??) and Jared Boll (more or less ?). That trio combines for a total of 15 games experience and zero points this season. The problem that Conacher or Michalek each face is that they are both playing with one pretty good player (Smith, Grant) and one player who to put it politely hasn’t shown much ability with the puck this season (I know Neil has a goal but I’m pretty sure he yelled that puck into the net and has generally been more clumsy with his hands than his usual ‘okay’). Still, that Columbus bottom six…take advantage boys…remember you’re playing to earn your reputations back!

Jared Cowen, you’ve been playing like shit, welcome to the first pairing! 
Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, the defense pairings look fucked up as ever! Sens are coming off a game where they actually kept the shots against respectable for once so might as well move the pairings around because I apparently know the first thing about coaching.
Cowen – Karlsson
Borowiecki – Methot
Phillips – Gryba
Congratulations go out to Marc Methot. After playing on the first pairing as an integral part of a team that went to the second round of the playoffs and getting an invite to Olympic orientation camp you may make your glorious return to Columbus on a pairing with a guy who’ll be playing his 10th career NHL game tonight! I’m not really having a go at Methot or even Borowiecki for that matter I’m just skeptical that first pairing minutes will solve Jared Cowen’s struggles. I’m just a fisherman from International Waters though, I don’t know nothin’ about nothin’ about nothin’ about nothin’ (about nothin’). Terrifying as the idea of Karlsson – Cowen playing against Marion Gaborik is, I must say, Boro-Methot looks like it could be a tough to play against. As for Phillips-Gryba…umm…manly?

Win it for Andy….and also, if it’s not too much trouble…win it for Lehner as well
Okay, yes, Ottawa will face a backup tonight AS IS CUSTOMARY but c’mon this isn’t Anaheim’s backup Frederik Andersen who is still unbeaten this season and has a very, very realistic .952 save percentage. No, this is Curtis McGoalie. That lovable chimney sweep who we all kind of remember from his LEGENDARY 3-4-0 run in the nation’s capital. He’s been pretty damn good in his 3 games this season stopping 74 of 78 shots but guys……………………c’mon….you can beat Curtis McElhinney right? Please? 
On the other side of the ice we get to see Robin Lehner, who despite only playing 3 minutes on Sunday before going cold into the shootout BUT AT LEAST HE GETS CREDITED FOR THE LOSS, get what could be the first of a few consecutive starts. That Dallas game was a metaphor for the season Lehner’s been having: Spot duty where he’s put in a pretty terrible situation where the team in front of him can’t get it done. Columbus finds themselves in the bottom ten of the league in goals-for which presents Ottawa, who are just outside the top 10, a rare opportunity to outscore an opponent (see what I did there?). The challenge is that the Bluejackets are one of the stingiest teams for allowing goals. Bobrovsky or not, McElhinney has a 1.55 GAA. With 4 players currently operating at a point per game (or better!) pace, the Sens big guns will have a real test on their hands tonight. And I truly think it’s on the forwards and defense to get this thing done. Lehnny’s been going above and beyond to keep a lot of games from being embarrassing this year. Time to do him a favor and win just one…lest The Lehner uppercut the entire team into a pit of spikes fal;sdfkajsc time to go back to reading about the mayor of Toronto saying that using crack cocaine and being publicly intoxicated while in office, “is what it is.”

ENJOY THE CRACK GAME!

FIN.

One of these people has a respectable body of work that stands up today…and QUIT WHILE HE WAS AHEAD…try to guess which.

Hello all you men and women out there who didn’t swan dive off of a bridge after the last game! Glad to still have you! Seriously, I’m worried, the mood on twitter was dark following that one.

Can we talk about that game? I think if Ottawa had taken it we would have celebrated it as one of the most entertaining games of the season and not some on ice death rattle. Is anyone else excited for the Olympics so we can actually cheer Jonathan Toews’ ability to but the contery on his back and take over a game? What we witnessed, I think, was an absolutely elite team that is on a level right now where they can kind of play like trash, get their goalie chased, have a snoot full of a smelling salts (or who knows what mineral!) and be all, “Oh shit, right, we’re down by two…time to score four more and take this thing” AND THAT’S WITH OTTAWA SCORING FIVE! Ugh, remember when Ottawa must have been this frustrating to play against? No? Well, I don’t blame you, it was a long time ago now. Let’s move forward to a comment made yesterday by the coach explaining his weird ass line combos which found Chris “in everyone’s good nay GREAT books lately” Neil on the top line:

“Im trying to get our team ready to play the Islanders and to give ourselves the best chance…” – Paul MacLean

Best chance toooooooooo? OH NOW I GET IT! TRICK OR TREEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! Good one coach! Great trick…amazing trick.
Okay, treat time: Players, please please please “get to the net” and “shoot to the puck” and “play a physical game” or whatever all the the things that MacLean is asking you to do are so we can go back to the lineup where it’s entertaining hockey to watch. Granted, even with the more logical line combinations the on ice product has been…inelegant as well.
I suppose that’s the greater point that Mac is trying to make, “If you can’t get it done that way, I’ma put your line combinations on top of the fridge where you can’t reach them until you can.”
I don’t even know what I want more, I’m watching a 3 game losing streak as much as any EMOTIONAL HUMAN BEING out there; do I want this Spezza – Neil – <Frozen Dinner> line to score on the first shift of the game or do I want it to be a disaster so the coach is forced to rest his case with this line shuffling psychedelia? Nah mean? We are each and every last one of us (I can’t back this up at all, btw) hoping for that one change Paul MacLean can implement to make this team good again but still…what is the price if Ottawa lights it up the next two games? Oh good, so we get Bobby Ryan this year and please welcome our new first line right winger, Chistobal Neil? Fuck. We’re only 12 games in but I’ll admit this line combo stuff has been a tough pill to swallow.  Curious to see what the Michalek – Smith – Zibanejad line can get going. I’m hoping it’s “win more draws” I mean really that line has two centres on it…Silver lining of course is that actual line of MacArthur – Turris – Ryan is reunited, which is nice.

FUNLEASH THE LEHNER!
How convenient that the day after Robin Lehner can most conceal his blood sacrifice ceremonies under the guise of “All Hallows Eve” that he gets the start. Let’s just drop what we’re doing (unless what you’re doing is operating on someone’s brain or reading this blog or both) so we can talk about Robin Lehner. How poorly has Ottawa played some nights? This guy has a .940 save percentage DESPITE HAVING ZERO WINS. Regardless of our feelings about Anderson’s game right now, Lehner was due for a start and I think if he gets even a modicum of support from the rest of the team he could get it done. Problem’s been that when Lehner’s gotten the start and been sharp the team surrenders 40-50 shots against or he struggles a bit like he did against Edmonton, they make Devin Dubnyk look like a guy who hasn’t been “developing” for almost a decade. Help the bro OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT.
C:\bracket_and_semicolon_resembling_winky_face.exe 
Unfortunately, Evegeni Nabokov gets the start for the Highliners. This isn’t unfortunate because of Nabokov being a particularly intimidating goalie. No, it’s because it deprives us yet again of a follow up to this glorious interaction between Lehner and Islanders backup Kevin Poulin. Sure Lehner took a penalty for it and the Sens were subsequently scored on during the ensuing New York power play eventually losing the game but, you know, celebrate the moments of our lives.
Also, note to Islanders: You’re playing the Ottawa Senators in 2013, it is customary to start your backup against them. Rude.

The scene from Robin Lehner’s compound as a messenger arrives across the River Styx to bring him a goblet of goat’s blood and a scroll with the news of his start.

This Is What Rebuilding Looks Like, Right? No Seriously I Can’t Tell If Either of These Teams Are Still Rebuilding…I Think They Are?….Although…Whatever:
I might have said this a couple of times already this season but: This team is beatable. No, not Ottawa, well, yes Ottawa BUT what I mean is also the Islanders. Sure the Islanders aren’t the picnic they once were but c’mon how long has this team been pretty fucking bad? A couple decades? Cool, you’re in 8th in the East with a losing record turning it around! Let’s take it down a notch for a month or two. Hey, don’t get me wrong I know where Ottawa is at right now. I straight up think, for the third game in a row, that the goaltender is going to have to steal the game to give Ottawa a chance. The Islanders are on the up and up and all but the Sharks they ain’t. As Conrad and I discussed in the 10th hour of the Scotchcast November is the big litmus test month for the Sens they are playing a bunch of home games against a lot of Eastern conference teams. Let’s get this party started and not sharted.

Enjoy the game!

WARM UP JAM: 

Welcome?
Off the hop, you know what’s going to be dynamite? The month of November, where I can actually talk a bit of shit about the team the Sens are playing once in a while and lay off the whole “Here’s what Ottawa must do to hide from the impending Mongol hordes as they look to expand their glorious empire and boil alive those who dare defy their advances in scalding vats of Kelly Hrudey’s hair gel” angle.
But here we are again tonight. Playing another excellent team that just earlier THIS YEAR you could have had a conversation like this about:
Human Being: “Hey so who do you think is going to win the Stanley Cup this year?”
Human Being 2: “Well, the Chicago Blackhawks haven’t lost a game in months…so I’m going to wager the Chicago Blackhawks are the favorite to win it all.”
And then? Theyyyy diiiiiiiiid.
Ugh…this team. I remember I was in Chicago in the summer a few years ago and there was a Blackhawks fan convention at the hotel (that’s right ball so hard that I stay at a hotel) I was staying at that was basically themed “Buckle up because the Blackhawks are going to be good now.” AND THEN JUST LIKE THAT THEY FRIGGING WERE. It was like a Eugene Melnyk radio spot come true! RRRR ALWAYS A BRIDESMAID. I’ve kind of spited them for that ever since. Collect some draft picks and free agents and bling blong blang, you’re the class of the NHL.
I admit I sided with Brian Burke when he snapped on that journalist for that “why dont you copy the Pittsburgh model?” suggestion. Like, what? No one’s saying “Hey why don’t you just copy the Edmonton model of getting the no.1 draft pick nearly every year and continuing to miss the playoffs by a country mile.”
What can I say, sometimes a team gets Jonathan Toews with no. 3 overall and hmmmmm other teams get *puts on reading glasses* …Alexandr Svitov(.com). I suppose when you stink as bad as Chicago did for as long as they did you get something out of it…but on the other hand, Blue Jackets…so…let’s move on…

Well, at least Nikolai Khabiboulicantbelievehestillplaying is getting the start.
Not that the Senators have lit any mups when it comes to taking advantage of the complete lack of rispeck that other teams have been showing them by putting in their backup goaltenders. Worst of all the Sharks gave Alex Staylok his first start ever. We’re that team right now.
Granted Khabibulin is a former cup winner, 4 time all star and 2 time Olympic medalist…but please, can we remember that one of those Olympic medals was won the same year Michael Jeter won the Prime Time Emmy for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series for his performance as the beloved Herman Stiles on Evening Shade? Can the Sens not put a few past the good old ‘Bulin Wall for old time’s sake? Now that I think about it, he has been playing for the Oilers for a few years and might be used to getting peppered with shots. What’s that? Oh, right, and the Blackhawks are playing in front of him.
*Puts hand on Craig Anderson’s forehead, checks pulse* Hmmm…and you’re sure this is the same guy who had the astronomical save percentage just a few months ago? Fascinating specimen! Sounds like someone’s got a case of SENATORS GOALTENDER (Caused by bad babysitting defensive coverage). Give him 50cc’s or whatever it takes to get back to that place. Legal or illegal. I’m not at all ready to give up on Andy or anything but with where I think the team is at, Andy or Lehner OR WHOEVER (Mike Brodeur?) is going to have to straight up steal a couple to give the Sens some breathing room so they can right the ship. So far Lehner has come to the closest. No info for the DEA on who’s getting the start for Ottawa tonight because WTYKY is your source for up to the minute player information ACCESS.

MacArthur in..Greening out? K.
I’ll take it. MacArthur has basically been one of the few good possession players on our puck possession team. I felt he was really missed last game because I like when Ottawa can gain the zone! The fact that he’s coming back from an injury means I’m not going to expect to him to be the team savior. Besides I’ve already put that unfair expectation on the goaltenders so…. Oh loooooooook Colin Greening could be a healthy scratch tonight. I suppose that’s normal for a young player looking to make his way in the NH–oh, what’s that? Just signed him for 3 more years? Oh, well….ummm….get your bologna together. This is real LIFE. I can’t make up my mind about Greening. Seeing him get scratched so early into the season is…helping me make up my mind. 

Another bit of news has been the return of Bobby Ryan to the top trio in practice. This to me isn’t where the Senators problems lay. Ryan, Spezza, Turris, Karlsson, the big guns, are producing fine. They aren’t going to get a point every game but they damn near are. I couldn’t be more happy to have Zibanejad in the top six. Say what you will about the resuls they’ve been getting most nights but:

Michalek – Spezza – Ryan
MacArthur – Turris – Zibanejad

…pretty boss top 6 if you ask me. Weird that the Sens keep getting criticized as slow where I would describe 4 of those top 6 forwards as fast. Again, I can’t wait to play some terrible teams at some point. Wow, that is a horrible attitude to have. Get it together, me.
This is going to sound kind of ridiculous but the Sens need to come out looking like they want it more and to stay that way. They definitely showed that they have that gear against the Wings but then just looked flat against both the Ducks (that fucking name) and the Sharks (see how easy it is to name a team, Ducks?). *scary negative political ad comes creeping in* C’mon, The Ottawa Senators…what kind of a team are you REALLY trying to tell us you are*?

Back to Back Games No Match for Ottawa’s Whack to Whack Games….
Chicago might be coming into tonight’s match with sore goal scoring wrists from whooping Minnesota’s ass 5-1 last night then taking an ARDUOUS hour long flight home to sleep on their own pile of cash. This is another thing Ottawa’s not been able to take advantage of. San Jose looked a bit sleepy at points on Sunday but nothing frightens away Mr. Sandman like a shorthanded breakaway. If I were to give Ottawa one criticism for their struggles so far is that they are lacking a killer instinct. Granted they’ve been playing some great teams so far this year but something that makes those teams great is that they can still win no matter the circumstances surrounding the game. They overcame pressure in their win against Phoenix and especially in Detroit but they’ve been blowing big chances to improve their record for nights like tonight where like Chuck Norris before them, they are against all odds. No seriously look up the betting line for tonight…

*Paid for by the Friends of the Ottawa Senators WTYKY foundation for the winning of this goddamn game.

Hi Everybody

Any of you catch that game on Wednesday night? No? Oh, DEEECENT win. *Brushes previous incredibly pessimistic game preview under couch* Hey, I did say that the Senators were going to have to play their best game of the young season to beat the Red Wings and that much was true. Stars played like stars, scoring happened early and often, possession was good, parade to penalty box cancelled, goalies chased, Alfie neutralized, laughter and love shared. Hands down the most satisfying win of a thus far up and down season.
Okay, so everyone shut down their computers we’re all finished her–
*BIZARRO JAMES BURSTS THROUGH COURTROOM WALL KOOL AID MAN STYLE (except quite he’s noticeably injured and in considerable pain)*
“OH THERE IS JUST ONE MORE QUESTION(S), YOUR HONOR!!!………fuckin…elbow is killing me here…ow…I mean…*winces* IS THIS GAME ACTUALLY EVEN MORE OF A STATEMENT THAN THE WINGS GAME?”

Good question, bizarro me!
There’s no discounting the statements made and emotional impact of the win against the Red Wings:
1. Curb stomping of new, scary divisional rival in their own building.
2. Olde Capatain thoroughly outplayed by New Captain.
3. Mika gets on board in first game back with big club.
4. Disciplined play for a change
5. An important bounce back effort…ahhhhh let’s stick with this point! Meet me in the paragraph below for more:

The reason I think this game might be more important is because the Detroit game came on the heels of what I thought was just a godawful performance against the Oilers a few days earlier. I’ve been saying this for a minute, and I don’t think I’m alone on this, that the Senators are a much better team than they’ve been playing as so far. Detroit was a solid case for that but not every game is going to be a six-one route unless…
“Are you there God? it’s me person wasting Your time praying about professional sports…”
Want to make a real statement? Come off your best game by beating the team that you played your worst game against. If Ottawa’s going to continue to make the playoffs they’re going to have to show they can win consistently and at home. I don’t know if you looked but Ottawa plays an NHL record 349 games next month. It’s going to be relentless.

That Last Game Against Anaheim Went Less Than Well.
Road game or not, when you witness your team hang their goaltender out to dry to the tune of 50 shots it can be a bit tough to “Keep Calm and egferahabvoerghbvsuibbhjv On.” It was cool to see Bobby Ryan score in his return and silence doubters during his INFAMOUS 2 game goal drought but I’m sure he would have traded the tally for a W. It was flattering even at a score of 4-1 as Robin Lehner was absolutely sensational in his effort to keep the garbage avalanche from burying him. Tonight will be different with Craig Anderson getting the start after a very solid performance against the Wings. Andy made some big stops and only surrendered one power play goal. I’ve found Andy’s game a little weird so far this season. He’s made some mind blowing acrobatic saves when he’s had to be there but also let in some real stinkers. Last game he only did the former and hopefully he can build on that and return to the world destroyer that we know and love. Lehner will serve in a “Pondering which of Anderson’s body parts to keep as a talisman after the Hour of Purification has passed” role. I can’t find any info on who starts for Anaheim…look I’m just punching my way through life in this work-a-day world. THANKS FOR READING.

OOF UHH SILVERMOUNTAIN SAY OOF UHH SILVERMOUNTAIN! 
Tonight marks the still very much beloved Jacobi Silfvermountain’s return to the CTC. Silf has been quite good in Anaheim and has endeared himself to Ducks fans with his *tries to think of attribute other than his quick release* putting up points right off the hop. This contrasted poorly during Bobby Ryan’s LEGENDARY two game goal drought heard round the world.
Sens fans know well that Bryan Murray gave up a very good player for Bobby Ryan. With Mike Milbury having moved on to a career in yelling at TV personalities and cameras, it’s a world of more or less logical and fair trades. Pretty much like David Rundblad for Kyle Turris, or Nick Foligno for Marc Methot, we knew we were losing a quality player in the trade but I think getting one in return that is better for the team. I think Rundblad is great but even MORE great is how Turris as many points in his last 9 games as Rundblad has in whole career. I have the same expectations for the Silfverberg / Ryan trade. If I had one knock on Jakob’s game it was how slow he got off a wrist shot it was his consistency. I think Silfverberg’s going to do well on a team as good as Anaheim’s but as the season rolls on we’ll see the All American Ryan’s stat line pull away from Jakob’s. What about Stefan Noesen and the 1st round pick?
MOVING FORWARD!

And the REST!
Big games from Ryan and Spezza overshadowed a few other positive notes to build on:
– Karlsson has been pretty solid and is definitely putting up points like he should registering 5 in his past 3 games. Which is nice. He’s quietly tied for 3rd in team scoring. Just keep rolling and recapture the flowetry we all love you for.
– Shut down D guys Methot, Cowen and Gryba each played well against the wings. Cowen had a goal and Gryba had an absolute snipe because blowout. Please continue being good defensemen!
-If Spezza or Ryan can score tonight…it’s going to start getting pretty hilarious.
– Another good game from call ups Derek Grant and Merle Zibanejad (what he’s technically a call up). Ziba had a great feed on Gryba’s goal and though Grant didn’t get on the score sheet he is much, much better at playing hockey than Matt Kassian. They both have made the team more threatening.
-Point per game defenseman Joe Corvo looked like Joe Corvo in the defensive zone. He plays defense like how people who don’t watch Sens games THINK Erik Karlsson plays defense #WTYKY4Truth. Round it out Joe.
– Teemu Salane is a game time decision as he is 43 years young and played just last night in Montreal. I’m not having a go either. I’m fucking terrified of this super human athlete. He has 21 points in 24 career games against Ottawa. NOTHANKYEH.
– Have you heard of this guy Mathieu Perreault? Yeah me neith, but 9 points in his last 9 games and one of three Ducks to have 9 points in 10. I don’t like him.

If Ottawa can put the shoe on the other foot and take advantage of a team who’ve just dropped two in a row on a road trip, that could do wonders for staving off what could be a blood bath (seriously fucking gross saying btw…bathing in blood…just…anyway) against the always intimidating during the regular season San Jose Sharks on Sunday.
Again, this is the big statement game in my eyes. Even just a very complete game, especially on the defensive side, would show that this is a Senators team getting it’s act together and is ready to start making some noise in the *puts on reading glasses and looks it up in other browser* ATLANTIC DIVISION!

ENJOY THE GAME AND GET HYYYYYYYYPED IN THIS CLIP FROM THE FABULOUS BOBBY RYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNN: 

Somedaddy that we used to knowwwwwwwwwww

What? I told you I don’t do a game preview without my LEAN POCKET! I don’t car– Oh, WHAT the media is actually paying attention the Sens for five mintues?! Ahh what better game than against one of the best teams in the league. *Hastily changes out of “PUMP IT UP!” themed jogging pants, kicks empty Lean Cuisine dinner packages under couch, smooths out hair with TV remote buttons*

Ahem,
As Ottawa Senators fans we’ve seen some cruddy player related stuff in our time. Supposed generational talent 1st overall pick flame outs, contract hold outs, star players left to walk for nothing, trade demands, hobos, sea captains, Jonathan Cheechoo. This one is different though. Daniel Alfredsson was for nearly two decades the father figure of this still young franchise. He did 17 tours with the Sens and has done more for the team than anyone else in its history. Even up to last season’s playoffs he was a hero. Given the past few years’ uncertainty surrounding his future, I’ve always said that if the time came toward the end of his career that if he wanted to get a good shot at the cup on another team, well, he doesn’t owe us a goddamn thing at this point and he’d have all the right in the world to. Thing is when it actually happened I gotta say….rougher than I expected. I’m not going to get into the minutia of it all other than I think both sides are BSing a bit AND telling the truth a little bit. Melnyk lil cheap on the ol’ pay day, Alfie liiiittle hasty on the ol’ exit after giving every indication he’d resign. Which is actually a pretty good symbol of how I feel about him going into tonight: Him playing for another team changes nothing about what he did for the Sens buuuuuuuuut him playing for another team changes my attitude toward him.
He plays for another team now. I more or less hate all of the other teams and a highly skilled divisional rival well…I don’t care HOW nice those uniforms are. As for his plan, I don’t hope the Red Wings can win a cup for Alfie because I care about the Sens winning so much more than that. C’mon James…try to finish strong with a Klassik Kuote:

“Those are all the things that I’m going to have to be saying about those things” – Forresstt Gumps. 

Now I’m Going to Talk About Zibanejad but also Derek Grant for good measure
I’ve noticed in a lot of conversation surrounding this whole Zibanejad demotion thing is if you’re in favor of returning him to the big club that you see him as the answer to the Sens woes. I definitely get that one shouldn’t put too much into one player being inserted into the lineup. I can’t, however, discount the fact that a very good hockey player is being added to the team and think he helps their chances for success. Zibanejad will start the game anchoring the fourth line twixt Derek Grant and Erik Condra, which is a pretty badass fourth line if you ask me. Hopefully we get to see a big game from Ziba who’ll have a lot too prove in his 2013-2014 debut. It will likely be tough for him to make a mark on the score sheet though as my guess is his ice time will be pretty sparse playing in a more defensive role in his first game. BTW, the way this team gives up shots / doesn’t take advantage of opportunities, “a quiet but solid defensive game” qualifies as an outstanding performance to me at this point. Speaking of which I’d like to touch on Derek Grant for a moment.
To build on what I was saying about how having a solid game qualifies as awesome, that is probably best personified by how call up Derek Grant performed in the complete garbage dump game against the Oilers Saturday. I was pretty surprised to see he got under 6 minutes of ice time because:
1. He’s a penalty killer how does he not get 25+ minutes of ice time (see what I did there)?
2. I noticed him every time he was out on the ice.
He may not have gotten on the score sheet (leave that to Chris Neil* and his BEAUTIFUL snipe on Dubnyk**) but I thought Grant was very good on the kill really getting uhh…whoever plays defense for Edmonton on their (?) heels in their own zone a couple of times. I can see how he tends to lead Binghamton in shorties. OOoooOOOoooOO, I see Clarke MacArthur and Jared Cowen are playing tonight so Grant will have plenty of time to show MacLean what he can do on the PK.

The Ottawa Senators Power Play Dancers Feat. Chris Neil and Chris Phillips Needs To REST. ITS. CASE!!!
Okay, Paul MacLean, I get it, I get it, I get it you want the team to shoot the puck more. Lessons have been learned, laughter and love shared and so on. Now please take Christophers Phillips and Neil off the power play before I shoot myself more (HYPERBOLE!).
Ugh, Praise Be 2 Jah that Neil’s goal wasn’t on the power play then this stuff would have had some  justification behind it. Can we go back to the best players play mantra? But as in the best players get to prove themselves as best players again…please? Oh goooooooooooooooooooooooooood Wiercioch has been scratched. So…now I can’t believe the question on my mind is: Who is the better option for Karlsson’s partner for the 1st unit power play tonight……Chris Phillips…..or….Joe Corvo? Ihavetoliedownforawhile.

Smooth Jimmy’s #REALTALKidzKorner
I tune into every game hoping that Ottawa wins (doi, what am I a Flyers fan?) but this one is going to be really tough. No doubt Ottawa (as an entire team) is going to have play their absolute best game of the season to beat a highly motivated Detroit Red Wings. With the Senators coming off a loss, again I must stress the badness of this loss, where they couldn’t connect two passes in a row and were nearly shut out by the Oilers are now up against a team who’s own recent loss consisted of not only shutting out the best team in the league but facing a goalie with zero losses on the season and who’s so Hansel level hot right now that he actually also shutout the shootout INCLUDING THIS SAVE AGAINST NOTED WAR CRIMINAL TODD BERTUZZI. Ugh! Hockemotions.

Anderson gets the start tonight facing one of the most disciplined system teams in the league. Unless there’s a sea change in play, he will basically have to save the defense’s skin who have been putrid so far this year. Jimmy Howard who is a goaltender getting just his second start since returning from the IR and also enjoys playing behind defensemen gets the start for the Wings.
I know this has been a bit of a downer preview but Ottawa has a ton to prove tonight. They aren’t on a huge road trip anymore and they’ve had time to rest and regroup. We all know Ottawa is a far better team than they’ve been playing as so far this year let’s see if they can show us. This game could be a real statement if Ottawa can manage to look good. It’s going to come down these 10 hilariously simple and copyrighted fundamentals of winning a hockey game:
1. Win faceoffs and maintain possession b/c u r a posseshhhhh team btw
2. Stay out of the penalty box
3. Stay out of the fucking penalty box
4. Stay out…of that motherfu–
5. Get QUALITY scoring chances oh and don’t forget to capitalize on them occasionally!
6. Play some respectable defense…YES I know Joe Corvo is playing in this game.
7. Star players need to look like star players.
8. Simplifyyyyyyyy maaaannnnnnnnnn (aka shoot maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan)
9. Again, the penalty thing.
10. WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME GO WIN THIS STUPID GAME!

Now go out there and
ENJOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY the game

Whatever the opposite of “bold” prediction: Alfie to score emotionally confusing goal.

*Heyyyyy let me beat this horse to death: Neil’s one goal on the year is 100% more than Dany Heatley whom I’m hoping becomes this century’s Scott Gomez

**Whom is still considered to be developing despite being drafted 9 years ago because Oilers.

“Jagr? Brodeur? HA! I got chunks of guys bigger than them in my STOOL!” – J. “Old Blue Groin” Spezznatra

Hello! Everybody!!
WELL………it’s been an emotional road trip for each and every last one of us. We’ve grown as people, made friends with a few anthropomorphic creatures and may have even learned a lesson or two along the way.

One thing I, myself, learned is that a long western road swing…not ehhhh…my favorite way to start the ol’ season off. I mean, time difference was one thing but seeing the team face some tough opponents in a situation where they’d likely struggle at the best of times was rough. What made it especially tough was with so many teams coming out of the gate strong (among them Calllllllllllllllgaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyy?) and nothing more than a so-so and pretty meaningless preseason to draw on, this is all we knew of the 2013 Senators. Let’s break it down:
– A dog fight 1-0 win against the Sabres
– A heart breaking blown 2 points against Toronto (which I think crushed a few people’s spirits)
– A squeaker OT loss against LA
– Dark Matter (x 2)
– Gutsy comeback win against the Yotes.

A veritable potpourri of flavours. After all of that, I will TAKE a clean slate of .500 to build off of. So now it’s over and in the rear view. Let’s get to tonight’s game:

*Looks at New Jersey’s record, takes off shirt and flexes chest muscles in bathroom mirror…but then remembers Ottawa’s record isn’t very great either, eyes start welling up a bit…but still flexing*
My first inclination as a fan is to think, “Ruh roh, the first game back after being on the road is almost always a rough one”. Here’s the leveling out though: New Jersey is also coming off/still on a long road trip rich with ass kickery. More ass kickery than Ottawa experienced even!
As has been well documented leading up to the game, with the Powerhouse Sabres recent defeat of the Islanders, the Devils are now the NHL’s lone team without a W on the season. That’s getting pretty bad considering its more than halfway through the month.
This means that either New Jersey, having spent a couple of days on the East Coast now, will come out fierce in a desperate attempt to right the Good Ship New Jersey Garbage Barge or the Senators will try to pull an Anaheim Ducks and gas pedal the Devils. As usual, it will depend largely on ……………………………

Your Honor the court will now hear the case of Baldy Vs. Blimpy
Livin’ legend, future first ballot hall of famer and Delicio Rising Crust Brand Pizza enthusiast Martin Brodeur will start in goal tonight for New Jersey. For maybe the first time in his career this may bode well for the Senators as Marty has positively struggled in his 3 starts so far this season. His ten goals against make for an uncharacteristic and Dan Clouthieresque 3.19 GAA. What has to be most concerning though is his …uhh…also Dan Clouthieresque save percentage of .878. These numbers are admittedly a little bit on the “early season wacky stats” side. No one wants to see Marty get in his street hockey wizard zone to make up for a bad start but still the door does look open to Light Up a Legend tonight.
That is if Craig Anderson can please, please, please, let me get what I want. Which is not giving up the first goal of the goddamn game. No less important would be not giving up goals in bunches like he’s been doing as well. Anderson, who is sporting a 3.10 GAA himself,  hasn’t necessarily been awful so far. Both he and Lehner have been hung out to dry by putrid defensive zone play and constant penalty kills. He’s made some huge, huge stops that have kept Ottawa in games but those early goals and multiple goal periods have been an undeniable weak point for him. Give up one or two early and there’s no doubt that:
1. New Jersey will trap up like nobody’s biznas to protect their lead.
1a. I will get very wasted trying to watch that.
Now go out there and HAVE FUN……but seriously, don’t let in the first fucking goal.

Captain Contery on Back.
For a guy with a bad back Spezza didn’t have a problem puttin’ the whole friggin game on it in Phoenix am-I-right-peop-lllle? OHHHHHHHHHH! *takes cartoonishly large pull on e-cigarette*
His game wasn’t perfect but how mad can you get at a guy who was responsible for 100% of the team’s regulation time offence in a much needed win? Fantastic to see the guy score a Karlssonian Rocket from above the circle but also a couple of dirty ones. Much like Bobby Ryan did previously, Spezza looked noticeably looser after potting a couple. There’s an awful lot of pressure on Spezza this season and no doubt a natural hat trick lets Spezza head into his first home game as captain as easy breezy as a certain blogger after he spends lunch time in a supply closet with Silent Sam Vodka (OFFICIAL odorless vodka of WTYKY). On the other side of this, Erik Karlsson has looked a little stiff out there. Personally, I think we’re going to have be patient with Karlsson’s game for a few months still. Taking into account even the most basic estimations on recovery time and despite his ability to play, EK will still be healing until early into the new year. That said, he looks like he’s making the most of it. He played 30 minutes against Phoenix and leads Sens defensemen in shots. My guess is he is trying to adapt his game to be a little more of a mental one until his speed returns. As a result he can look like he’s over thinking things here and there. I don’t buy this bologna that now he’s not sneaking up on teams because they are watching video of his tendencies now. Like they weren’t doing that when he had nearly 50 points by December of 2011. Karlsson will be on the creep for a little while still but a point or two should loosen up those hands a bit. I think the rest of a day off of his foot should be a bit beneficial too.

I haven’t seen lines this Wade Redden joke since Wade Redden joke’s Wade Redden Joooke AAAAAm-I-RIGHT-PEOP-LE OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Thrilled to see MacLean will keep together the lines of Michalek – Spezza – Conacher and MacArthur – Turris – Ryan tonight. Maybe it isn’t what we all had envisioned at the beginning of the year but it’s still early very early. Still lots of season ahead. I love the coach’s tendency to play the hot hand over what he’s “supposed” to be doing. I’m about as mad at seeing Ryan on the second line as I am that Turris has been Ottawa’s best forward. Whatever works is fine with me. Speaking of Turris, how about that Turris. Kid’s a diamond. A diamond encrusted diamond. 

In Game Challenges:
1. Try to identify Ottawa’s new goal song for your chance to be the only person other than the Sens DJ and the band who wrote it to know what song it is!
2. If Bobby Ryan scores use the hashtag #OttawaRoars to be the only person other than the Sens Official twitter account to use it!
3. Spot a member of the WTYKY staff and use the code “Hey what’s up?” for your chance win a personalized “Hey, <Your name here> I’m trying to pass urine here and I can’t go if someone’s talking to me and looking me dead in the eyes.”

GOOD LUCK AND ENJOY THE GAME!