Top Stupid Things Yelled at Games

Posted on by
6

“LEAFS SUCK”: while at a game where the Leafs are not playing.

Yes, they do. This is a matter of statistical fact; you only need to look at the standings to know this. But pointing this out during a game when they’re not even around is like being that guy who wears a Leafs jersey to a Sens game where the Leafs aren’t playing. It’s only telegraphing your insecurities to the world. (For Sens fans: that they can’t beat the Leafs in the playoffs; for Leafs fans: that their fathers hate them.)

“HEATLEY SUCKS:” When playing whoever Heatley’s recently been traded to this time.

Sure, he’s not that great for a player making eight million dollars this year. But where telling him he sucks might run counter to the whole idea of his general history of excellence, and thus be an expression of just how much we hate him because HE WRONGED US (or whatever), he also legitimately sucks now. I can just imagine any non-Sens fan watching on TV being like, “Well, yeah. You gave him that contract.” Makes us look like the bitter dump-ee.

“SHOOT:” At any time of the game.

Because the worst thing a team can do is listen to the advice of thousands and thousands of people who have never really given a serious thought to dedicating some time to an endeavour, let alone the kind of time required to understand something at a professional level. This is especially true in Ottawa, where 85% of those in attendance work a government job where they can’t really describe their responsibilities. Shouting “SHOOT” is like standing over a civil servant’s shoulder and yelling “WORK.” It doesn’t mean anything.

“DO SOMETHING.” The ultimate indication that you don’t really like hockey that much.

I don’t know what to say. That you exemplify all that our disgusting commercial lifestyle encourages? That instant satisfaction is not something you will encounter when watching a three hour sporting event where the score is often 2-1 or 3-2? That these guys are constantly “doing something” and that perhaps learning to appreciate those things that are not scoring is sometimes also pretty cool? Would you stand in a restaurant and yell “HUNGRY” over and over again until the situation remedies itself?

Senators Benefitting from Gong Show of a Division

Posted on by
Reply

By the way, when you Google Image search “Gong show” this is the fourth picture that comes up.

—-

There are always one or two franchises that seem to go completely off the rails in a given NHL season, but rarely have so many of them been located in the same division as our Ottawa Senators. If you had told everyone at the beginning of the season that the Northeast Division would be the site of a few public meltdowns, I’m sure all of those same experts picking Ottawa to finish dead last in the league would have said the Senators would have to be one of them.

How could it possibly be the newly-rich Buffalo Sabres? They could be forgiven for looking at their line up and thinking they were only one or two pieces from contending. They have $3MM-$4MM players throughout the depth chart; they had a goaltending tandem any GM in the league would be happy with; even if a player like Brad Boyes isn’t going to get you 40 without Kariya, you’d think he could pot, what, 15? Most of that depth, underwhelming though it is, are on expiring contracts – now is the time to spend, right? And spend they did. Not wisely, but surely the sheer amount must have counted for something. Their problem, though, is the limited, or rather selective, accountability employed: the coach and GM cannot be fired, both still in place 12 years after their ascension to mediocrity. The players are sent the message that no matter the result, it falls on them. Why on earth, if you’re a second line Buffalo Sabre, would you play for Lindy Ruff? Meanwhile, their new owner promises the Cup then hits the panic button faster than anyone, calling his Olympian goaltender out in the media. They’ve become the most disappointing team in the league, but it seems like all of the problems are happening at the top of the chain. I can’t wait to see what happens this offseason when Regier, surely still in place, tries to fix the mess he made.

What about the Montreal Canadians? One season removed from a strong showing against the Champ Bruins, and two from a Conference Finals showing, Montreal had no substantive changes aside from the addition of the solid Eric Cole, and had one more year of experience for their young players Subban and Eller. Carey Price had established himself as an elite tender; Markov looked ready to recover (I used a first round pick on him in my fantasy hockey keeper pool, because I’m an idiot). They had a wealth of coaching experience behind them. They were a solid bet for another low-seed finish and a pest-a-riffic first round loss against a team that builds with patience. Instead you get an entire season of the most superfluous, unimportant distractions possible from a market that makes the case for collective insanity. At one point this team actually gave up resources for Tomas Kaberle, a player Carolina’s GM publicly regretted signing and said hadn’t showed up ready for the new season. Well into their desperation trade phase, Price turned down a sweetheart contract extension offer and they’re talking rebuild—with, get this, a returned Bob Gainey at the helm. The guy who traded for Scott Gomez! You know who might help this team right now? Ryan McDonagh.

Then there’s Toronto, stuck in their perpetual purgatory. A GM who refuses to build through the draft but whose principled belief against long-term, frontloaded contracts precludes him from access to the UFA market. Brian Burke is getting ready for his annual turnover, wherein he hits reset on half his roster in the hopes that he’ll land on some miraculous combination of misfit toys and castoff attitude problems. They’ve embraced their status as the most unlikeable team in the league, their stars being openly mocked by other teams, and they don’t even have a playoff seed to show for it. Their promising young goaltender turns out to as human as his last promising young goaltender, and the trade scuttlebutt indicates that the only two decent players Toronto received in the first two years of the five year rebuild that Burke needlessly aborted—Schenn and Kadri—might be on their way out of town. No surprise they’re the ones being named in trade rumors. Teams that build properly covet young, cheap players with high ceilings. Oh, and Wilson gets a one-year extension so that when he is inevitably fired, he’ll receive what amounts to a pay bonus.

Aside from Boston, the Northeast is filled with teams that take solid aim with stunning regularity at their own foot. All of these teams have the pieces to make it work, or are at least two or three smart moves from turning things around. And all needlessly take themselves out of contention. Personality issues, distractions, old-school hockey at its very best (meaning doing the same thing over and over, regardless of whether it works) the Ottawa Senators are only the fourth most surprising thing coming out of this nuthouse in 2012.

Senators Roundtable: Everything’s Amazing, Nobody’s Happy

Posted on by
2

And lo, did the Ottawa Senators begin a casual dominance hastened to an end by the hated Winnibargian Jethisens

 Varada

You might have heard that Ottawa is rebuilding. Well, sorry, but you’re wrong. They’re sitting 5th in the conference, their playoff probability is up in the high-80s these days, and Murray is saying things about adding at the deadline. I’m not really a fan of your 2nd-round-pick-for-Andy-Sutton sorta deals (though I don’t hate them either). Especially because we don’t have a 2nd round pick anymore (THANKS A LOT, KYLE) and Kuba’s not going anywhere. What I would love is for Murray to add someone at the deadline that will make an impact, but that the team also has a realistic chance of re-signing long-term.

I don’t know about those chances, by my dream acquisition begins and ends with Zach Parise. With Alfredsson set to retire either this year or next, the team is going to need a winger with a scoring touch who is known for solid leadership and responsible two-way hockey. Wishful thinking, I know: Parise is the best pending UFA on the market, which means he’s bound for Toronto, New York, or Philadelphia. (And some other, previously-coveted UFA is bound for the Swiss League or the minors to make room. Salary cap schmalery schmap.)

According to this totally authoritative piece (Sun Media, you say? Who is this enterprising Bruce Garrioch fellow?) it would take a “young player, a prospect, and a 1st round pick” to get him. The latter two of those Ottawa has. The first I can’t imagine them parting with, unless you consider Nick Foligno sufficient trade bait. (He’s not.) Would you be willing to trade, say, Mika Zibanejad (especially now that we’ve got this other 2nd line center guy)? How about a Jared Cowen?

Any other UFAs on this list that tickle your belly? There ain’t much. Ales Hemsky? Shane Doan? Alex Semin? Tuomo Ruutu? We could probably get Brad Boyes for about $50. It says here we could trade for Filip Kuba.
Anyway – I would go all out to get Zach Parise, and then throw everything at him to sign long-term. What say you?

James

I would not could not on a train, I would not could not listening to Nirvana’s “On A Plain” (now available on iTunes)!

Before I get into it, it was too bad both Cullen and Sutton couldn’t be kept around, I liked those guys during their short stints. They were good acquisitions at the time but in the long run I guess it kind of worked out because of their respective ages and the current team model dont really mesh. I liked them for the Sens then, but the now Sens dont really need them.

All that said, “I’m well over it, mate” – British People. I don’t really disagree with your idea of “if we’re going to get someone let’s get someone next level.” To me clearly this is not a team that is in all that big a need to acquire a gritty two way forward who can stop em, drop em or shut em down open up shop em (Zack Smith) or an aging but still effective power play specialist (Sergei Gonchar) or blah di blah. The team currently has a lot of the kind of guys Murray would try to pick up in the past. Mayyyybe we see Kuba go b/c of his expiring contract (gotta get that second back) and Phillips aint goin nowhere even if he could because I cant see the Sens moving him after 1000 games with the organization. The optics of that would be really bad. Who are we Montreal? (I kid, all teams GMs have the capacity for that kind of crap).

Back to the essence, no, I would not pay a Mika Zibanejad, Jared Cowen (that guy would be the DUMBEST to give up. Its’ not like there’s other 20 year old Dmen laying around, ready to step in a play 25 mins a night! Stand PAT BryMurr, you won that hand already)…I don’t even think I would pay a Nick Foligno, a first round pick that’s playing great right now. I wouldn’t want to part with the any of the first round picks acquired just a few months ago. So what I’m saying is I basically hope they don’t swap anybody right now.

Since when is this such a “thing” too? Just b/c your team makes the playoffs you gotta go get some other guy? I know, I know…it’s about giving your team the best chance and stuff but I think IT IS STILL A REBUILD (to me at least). I would love for Turris to be the big move of the year. I think he’s a top six acquisition that has made the team better. Mission: So Far So Goodomplished. It worked out great, quit while you’re ahead Murray! I want him to hold a press conference at 6am on trade deadline day and with his best J. Jonah Jamieson voice be all “IM NOT CHANGIN A GAAAAD DAAAMN THING. ANYONE WHO WANTS TO MAKE A DEAL CALL ME!” and then slap on of those 1-800-EAT-SHIT bumper stickers on his forehead, pose for pictures for like 5 seconds and then drop the mic and leave.

Am I going to get that? Probably not. As such I am actually hoping for a Jesse Winchester/Brian Lee for a different KIND of Jesse Wincheser/Brian Lee type deals that we’ll forget about in two seasons. Actually, I would probably like to see a deal for a different backup goalie seeing as Anderson is playing literally every single game right now. That’s the one thing that hasn’t clicked for the Sens this year, otherwise there is some crazy good chemistry I wouldn’t mess with.  Remember when George W. Bush stayed the course and everything worked out amazing? I want that too.

The main thing that gets my mind grapes going about a big fish type acquisition/signing is that our 3rd highest scorer is THIRTY NINE and if he needs to be replaced or given a bit of a lesser role for the next 10 years that he is going to play, that’s gotta get done at some point. I think we’re finally at a stage where the prospects are plentiful, role players are working out and bigger stars are producing. I’d like to see if we have a Zack Parise in the system. It’s not outlandish to think that. We took three players in the first round and with Zibanejad playing the wing more and Silfverberg coming over, I think that sticking with them is a safer bet than giving up everything on the first date for a guy who could jump ship come summer.

Notice how I didn’t even get into Hemsky (blech, injury prone and can’t hang in Edmonton at this point?), Doan (I want the Sens to stay getting young not older), Alex Semin (I cant think of a good Kovalev joke right now but you could imagine if I could!), the OTHER Ruutu (mmmm, maybe I’d be down for this dude if the price was kind of low. Maybe Carolina would take Kuba for him…you KNOW they miss Kaberle).

Phillips becoming redundant

Posted on by
Reply

No, I don’t know what this is either.

–

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: the Senators spend the first two periods being outshot, parading to the penalty box, and generally having no chance at the game, only to suddenly turn it on in the last period and pull out a win. That’s not surprising anymore. What’s surprising is that one key veteran is becoming less and less a part of the Senators’ surprising season.

While Jason Spezza, Sergei Gonchar, and Daniel Alfredsson are all enjoying bounceback seasons (Alfie even having reinvented himself as the clutch goal scorer rather than the two-way, do-everything, 30-minute-a-night guy), there is a conspicuous absence on the back-end. Chris Phillips, now relegated to the 3rd pairing with either Brian Lee or Matt Carkner, played between 15 and about 18 minutes a night in his last five games compared to rookie Jared Cowen’s 22 to 25. Even in this last game against Montreal, when Cowen was far from perfect, had trouble controlling the puck, and the team was giving up far too many chances, MacLean went to Cowen over Phillips again and again as his shut-down D.

Not a terrible situation: having a veteran player match up against lesser competition means, theoretically, that this team is deep. (Though the chances this team gives up and that Anderson has had to stand on his head most nights suggest otherwise.) Phillips isn’t hurting the club this season, but his diminishing role has consequences for the future of the team.

Filip Kuba has played himself into a new contract. It’s far from unanimous – I’m sure a few readers here will protest – but it surely wouldn’t be a surprise if Murray renews a defenceman now playing top pairing minutes and providing a steady partner to franchise defenseman Erik Karlsson. Gonchar still isn’t going anywhere with that contract, even with his improved play. There are players in Binghamton who deserve their shot, and who won’t cost this team $3MM a year to play on the 3rd pairing. There are also UFA options, and the team has boatloads of caproom.

I wasn’t a fan of the Phillips extension when it happened, but now it’s proving an awkward impediment to the development of young players and the rebuild in general. Lee and Carkner might also be cut lose to make room for young guys, but again: they’re making a third of Phillips’ salary.

Defensive depth has enormous value in this league, and having a player with Phillips’ history out there, even at half what he played last season, surely has some value. But with the emphasis now shifting towards paying our premier players big 2nd contracts and developing our young talent, it’s hard to imagine what the expensive, shut down defenseman who isn’t used to shut down anyone might bring outside the dressing room.

WTYKY EXCLUSIVE: Leaked Transcript of Cammalleri-Bourque Trade!

Posted on by
6

Pierre Gauther: Hey, Jay? Salut mon grand! C’est, P.I.M.P.G.

Jay Feaster: Yoooo, what it is bro, how’s that search for a perfectly bilingual NHL quality coach going?”

P.G.: Not all that well actually, turns out it really shrinks the talent pool considerably! Kind of counting on Guy Boucher getting fired. He’s like the AHL version of the coach we just fired but not as good…but…uhh…if that doesn’t happen…I don’t know, I’ll see what the press says, my strategy lately has been to just do whatever they say, you know?

J.F.: No, not really…

J.G.: Hmm, you haven’t tried that? Pfft, whatever dude, good luck. Those guys KNOW shit. How do you think they sell all those papers? By stirring shit up constantly? Anyway, that’s not why I’m calling, remember when I slept with your girlfriend after that rave in college? I feel super duper bad about that still and I want to make up for it. So, I’d like to give..I mean trade, TRADE you my best offensive player”

J.F: Whoa, whoa, puppy, puppy, no, no, nooo…too rich for my blood. That guy scored 39 goals here a couple of years ago. I am not giving up any of my top guys for him. No Iginla, no Glenncross, not Bouwmeester not EVEN dumps like Oli Jokinen or Alex Tanguay….and if you think Im gunna give one of our very few young players who are working out, like Giordano? You got another thing-

P.G.: *loudest exhale through nose* No, this isnt about a hockey deal, no, what we need is a culture change here in Montreal. Cammalleri, gives candid, articulate interviews with the press, always has, and frankly, we just cannot have that here. He expressed pretty reasonable displeasure with our vastly underperforming team and I need to make a knee jerk reaction like …right now.

J.F.: Weird, you’d think that’s the kind of rash but albeit impassioned comment that would show a player is rightly frustrated with himself and his teammates and is trying to spark things up in the locker room. That’s how it goes in a lot of other markets. Remember when Matt Bradley did the same thing in Washington and he was commended for being a leader for doing that?

P.G.: It’s actually against the law to follow the goings on of any other teams here in Montreal…how do you think we ended up with, Scott Gomez? *bursts out laughing…laughter subsides to soft tears*

J.F.: Okay, well, I’m glad to hear that because listen, I have just the thing for you. Okay, I have a player, hm’kay, you need a culture change? Players caring too much? Check this guy I’m about to put on the table. We have the hardest time getting him to give a shit about anything…

 P.G.: Okaaaaay, I am LIKING what I’m heeeeaaaaring

J.F.: Here’s the kicker…wait till you hear his name…

P.G.: …

J.F.: Rene…

P.G. Colline de bin de bobbi pin!

J.F.: …BOURQUE!

PG.: Sac a dos! Appelle la police! He’ll be perfect for the intense French media scrums!!

JF. *coughing loudly* Doesn’t speak French at all *cough* …ugh dry throat excuse me…its that Chinook air, you know? *cough cough* he’s from Alberta *cough*

PG: You alright?

J.F.: Oh, trust me, Im super great right now.

PG.: Good, so we have a deal?

JF Deal? …OH YES, A DEAL!…yes, definitely.

PG.: Outstanding, okay I have to go tell my boss at La Presse!

JF. The Feast…is ON. Peace.

PG & JF: *hang up simultaneously* Suck-errrrrrrrr

Forever? Forever-ever? For-EVER-ever?

Posted on by
2

I admit, not only did I think that January would be a make-or-break month for the Senators, I thought it would break them. They’re a decent home team, but on the road they’ve been pretty mediocre; their string of miraculous, third-period comebacks couldn’t last; Anderson’s had a lot of puck luck; they’ve been seeing a lot of backup goaltenders; and they were set to play the class of the East with two games against the deep and tenacious Flyers, the well-coached Penguins, and the Beastor Rangers.

But with seven out of a possible eight points through four games, and wins over the Devils and Lightning to start the month, Ottawa has points in 12 out of their last 13 games. Incredible.

It’s not over. There’s a West coast road trip coming up, and it ends with a game against the pretty much invincible Boston Bruins. But even if they only win a couple of their upcoming games, they’ve kept themselves afloat in January. That’s huge.

How huge? In my mind, tonight’s shutout of the Rangers was the point at which I stopped believing that this was a non-playoff team enjoying some early season success. I now think we’ll be watching Senators playoff hockey this April. They’re not pretenders. MacLean’s system is real, the talent is there, and what shortcomings exist are covered (at least lately) by luck and work habit.

Craig Anderson is .951 in his last five games. Spezza has six points and an unreal face-off win percentage in the same span. Karlsson is still wizardly. Michalek has recovered well from a concussion and has four goals in his last four. Maybe we shouldn’t be surprised; we said way back during our season preview that there was no way every single player would have yet another career-worst season.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…well, fuck the rebuild I guess. On to the hapless Habs!

(Having said that, all of the reports that Murray is a buyer at the deadline, and the brainless Sun editorials calling for trades of Noesen and Puempel for whoever, have got me freaked.  How short a memory this group seems to have. I have no doubt that the thought of at least a round’s worth of playoff revenue has got management thinking late-first-rounder-schmate-schmirst-schmounder.)

Questionable Research, Ham Radios, Conspiracy Theories and Torso Chutes! It’s the Wtyky Random Prediction Panel!

Posted on by
3

Apropos of nothing

Now that our beloved pack of roustabouts, monkeyshiners, gadflies, frozen gypsies and upstarts have unbelievably inserted themselves into the Eastern Conference playoff discussion I think its high time we took a look at some plausible (and not so plausible) scenarios and evaluate their potential for dream-coming-tru-ness. Also my job of screwing the heads on He-Man figures on this assembly line has expectedly gone slack following the xmas rush. To wit:

1. Colin Greening wins rookie of the year!

-Why it won’t happen: Well for starters Richard Greenco sits 8th amongst rookie scorers with a tepid looking minus -5. While being one of the better two way players on the list, he currently trails wunderkinder like Henrique and Craig Smith while playing on a line with premiere playmakers.

-Why it will happen: Injuries (Oooh right in the Nuge!) and a hot streak are just about the only things that can bolster Colin’s candidacy, considering Ottawa is already a high scoring team it’s unlikely to think he can summon even more impressive feats of twine bulgery (Sports writing, ha!)

Probability: 5% Not sure who started the Greening for Calder talk at the start of the year but that shouldn’t dampen Sens fan’s enthusiasm for the big winger’s development.

2. Coach Paul MacLean wins the Jack Adams

-Why it won’t happen: Considering the league is lousy with stories of team turnarounds this year the stache has some stiff competition. You have to think he needs a playoff spot to guarantee even a nomination. Stories out of St.Louis, Florida and Minnesota are just as heart warming and could possibly usurp the plucky mustachioed one.

-Why it will happen: Pretty much everyone with a ham radio and an eye for NHL prognostication predicted this team would finish near the basement of the eastern conference and maybe even the league. His deft handling of the Filatov situation (honest assessment and zero kowtowing to skill) and his ability to maintain the focus of essentially a bunch of young third liners has been impressive.

Probability: I’m calling it now! 66.6 percent if he gets these hardscrabble cockney newsboys into the “get hammered by Boston” sweepstakes

3. Alfredsson wins the Lady Byng

Why it will happen: So this would probably be more of a life time achievement award type deal. Alfie’s having a stellar season and has displayed outstanding form at an advanced age, this alone should merit consideration for one of those new “leadership” awards (I think it’s the Messier award?) But Alfie’s only taken 5 minor penalties this year which is within the realm of feasibility considering two time consecutive winner Marty St. Louis currently has one fewer. Toss in the fact that he’s made his dignified way through a couple of career milestones recently and this selection makes sense from a league showcase perspective. (but we kinda have the all-star game for that too)

Why it won’t happen: This award is weird, there are tons of guys who stay out of the box and never get consideration because it’s about performance too. Plus with the fact that the supplemental discipline era of the league is upon us, who’s to say the definition of gentlemanly play won’t also undergo a radical change? This one is hard to tell.

Probability: I think he could get nominated, then again Milan Michalek is in the thick of the scoring race and has taken one fewer penalty, I dunno. I’ll give Alfie 15%. Dude’s a lock for the “Cheez-its Mortgage Insurance cuuuuuuteest kids in hockey” award tho.

4. Karlsson wins the Norris

Why it will happen: Has anyone else noticed the NHL seems to be undergoing some sort of hormonal imbalance? I’m not a physiologist but plate tectonics theory is pointing at some major upheaval going on. “Adjusts glasses” Dudes are straight wildin’ out right now! The concept of defensive hockey is confined to a gimmicky zone trap and refs are calling stuff so tight I’d argue a powerplay puck mover on the back end is more valuable than a shutdown guy. Take defencemen ranked by plus minus, half of the top 12 are from Boston. Coincidence that Boston scores the most while allowing the fewest? Are all of those guys shutdown guys? None of those dudes is in the top 15 for ice time per game? I think it’s time to readjust the Shutdown concept. There’s an award for goalie tandem and goalies individually right? What about an award for defensive tandem? I guess pairings change so frequently, but I bet there’s an advanced metric for that. Okay, maybe I got off topic there, good thing this is a blog and not a thesis.

Why it won’t happen: Honestly he has a better shot at the heart trophy. Why? See above. Apparently our special little guy is not a shut down type and I agree, especially since the sens aren’t exactly a shutdown type team. While it puts butts in the seats, the fact that Ottawa leads the league in 3rd period comebacks will not help one’s Norris candidacy. My argument is, aside from Chara and maybe 2 or 3 other guys, who else would you rather have on your team?

Probability: I’ll give him a 20% chance just to get nominated, he doesn’t fit the mold of the blueliner coveted by Brian Burke and his cabal of broken nosed, old timey NHL pranksters. HEEEEEEEEEE’S A PRETTTTTTY BOYYYYYYYYYYY.

5. Ottawa Makes the Playoffs

Why it will happen: The question on everybody’s sultry, honeysuckle lips (oh sorry got my Streetcar Named Desire fan fiction mixed up in this one) Basically what derailed Ottawa last year was a lack of consistent messaging and communication from behind the bench and injuries. So far they’ve managed to avoid both, they’ve increased their depth and added some secondary scoring. It’s also worth noting a couple of the East’s premiere teams have regressed. I think there’s room for the best team in Canada (Important, non-rioting division)

Why It won’t happen:

Take the exact opposite of everything I’ve written in the last paragraph and reverse it. Bizarro prognostication!

Probability: Let’s try 55%, they’ve benefitted from the schedule makers and may watch as teams catch up.

And now a word from James while I run see to a clog in the torso chute:

1. I find that judging rookie seasons as a fan and not an analyst pretty tough unless 1. The rookie is on the team you follow 2. Plays for a rival of your favorite team and you see them play a lot (you can usually tell how good a season they are having by how much you hate them) or 3. If they are having an undeniably amazing campaign and have as such become a much talked about media sensation (ie Ryan Nugent-Hopkins or last year’s winner Jeff Skinner). Outside of this, can anyone tell me about how the rookies are doing on the Dallas Stars? Are we just assuming any rookies on the Blue Jackets are doing horribly? Or that the rookies on the Red Wings are developing perfectly? Basically what im saying is I’m lazy and not made of following all the teams. I’m also trying to say that despite being a top line player most of the season and having a strong start, I don’t really think anyone knows who Colin Greening is. I base this largely on things like my not knowing if Nazim Kadri or Louis Leblanc are currently in the NHL or AHL and the Senators play Montreal and Toronto every 45 minutes (they are playing a triple header right now).
I have been watching a lot of Edmonton games this season because I can stay up as late as I feel like and I have to say, recent injury included, there is no way Greening gets the award over Nuggie-Hopscotch. He’s their like their Erik Karlsson. Undeniable and regularly sonning seasoned NHLers all while being the size of Milhouse. RNH is a lock as far as I’m concerned. If there is one Senator I think should be in the Calder discussion as of this date, its unequivocally Jared Cowen. I find it absolutely amazing that with only 10 AHL games under his belt he has in his rookie year bumped Chris Phillips down the pecking order at one of the most difficult positions in hockey.

2. Now this I would absolutely LOVE to see. As I am typing this I am getting visions of John Tortarella picking up this award for basically getting a bunch of superstars to play well for once. Paul MacLean is the most underrated Ottawa Senator. I would imagine any Sens fan no matter what their understanding of coaching would affirm that the already beloved Paulrus pretty much completely changed the culture of the team overnight. I don’t know if I’ve heard one disparaging remark or read a negative comment about him yet. That, my friends, is amazing. His work, though obviously a little hard to notice at times as games are so focused on players, is incredibly impressive if you consider a number of areas. He has got the team motivated game in and game out beyond anything we’ve seen in the past few years (aside from that 10 game winning streak a couple seasons back I suppose). The team has a clear identity now, as hard as that identity is on one’s central nervous system. You gotta love the pesky, never quit game of the Sens. As much as I rag on him I believe Kovalev when he said he didn’t understand the system under Clouston. I also believe he wasn’t listening too but I digress. Funny how all of a sudden the team can score and Phillips, Gonchar and Kuba are fine defencemen again. Curious. Probably my favourite thing about MacLean is how he has the guts to be his own coach and do things like put Smith out there on the power play if he’s hot, try Konopka on a key draw at the end of the game, put Rundblad or Butler in a shootout, or put Anderson back in net if even if he’s played a few bad games. To me these are the kind of moves that show the players you believe in them and as such will make them run through a brick wall for you. I am not surprised at all when the chips are down after the second intermission the team comes out swinging. How I’d love to see this guy coach in the playoffs. I would be happy just to see him nominated as an acknowledgment of the job he’s been doing. You guys, I think I want to have his baby.

3. Is it just me or is Matt Cooke actually kind of the guy to beat for this award this year? Dude has 12 penalty minutes this season. Yeah, Mr. Knee on Knee. Also according this tweet I just got from Dear Leader day is also now night and freedom = slavery…so there’s that. I’m not entirely sure that the Byng is just automatically given to an awesome player with the least penalty minutes but after a quick glance at perennial favourites Pavel Datsyuk and Martin St. Louis, Alfredsson definitely in the neighbourhood. It would be fantastic to see Alfie win another individual trophy to keep his Calder company. It would be another feather in his cap when Hall of Fame talk is …getting talked.

4. People are starting to talk about this. When the season is at the halfway point and you are a defenseman producing at a near point per game clip, that talk is not unwarranted. Of course, the trouble is, and could be for a long time, is that Karlsson has a reputation as a “defensive liability.” I gotta say, I have watched almost every Sens game this year and I have to say, yes, Karlsson is an offensive defenseman who uses his speed to join (or even lead) the rush and makes risky pinches. This is his job. He used to get exposed for his inexperience. Yup. K. I dont really feel like thats so much the case anymore. You dont get 37 points in 41 games without taking some risks and giving up some turnovers but overall for a guy with that much of an offensive focus and who is also undersized, I think EK has been very respectable defensively. Remember that game a few months back when he absolutely dominated Alex Ovechkin? He could not do that in previous seasons. Now I cant help but mention his absolutely brutal -30 rating last season. What worries me is that he may never shake that minus -30 rep or at least might not for a long time. Look at Jason Spezza, for the last two seasons he has been a changed man in his play to the point of earning himself some time on the PK UNDER CLOUSTON. Despite his clear dedication to improving his overall game while maintaining his point a game pace, I think a lot of people outside of Ottawa (and even within Ottawa) have made up their minds that Spezza is the dipsy doodle dandy and that can sink you when it comes to awards. I can see a Niklas Lidstrom Award I mean Norris Trophy in Karlsson’s future. Give it a couple years for sure.

5. Its gunna be tight in the East all season. Its gunna be tight. Its gunna be goddamn goddamn goddamn tight!

Conrad, what say you?

1. I agree with James, but especially the point about Cowen. The weird x factor when judging rookies is the flashy-v-reliable aspect. RNH scores at will, and Edmonton still stinks and will finish bottom five this year. It’s unfair to hang that on him, but at the same time, if the Sens make the playoffs this year it will have something, at least some little thing, to do with Cowen occasionally playing 30 minutes a night and not making enormous, obvious mistakes. He won’t win it because he’ll have something like 12 points at the end of the year, but I think there’s something to the steady, reliable, half-a-game player. Although, having said all of that, even we judged rookies using that metric, I guess Adam Larsson would win. He’s been a beast in New Jersey.

2. Stache will be in the top five of Adams voting if the Senators don’t come back to earth. (Aside: Ottawa plays Philly, Pitts, New York, Boston, LA, San Jose, Dallas and Phoenix in January. Eeeeeeeeeeesh.) But he’s got some intense competition. Hitchcock has really turned St. Louis around (though I feel you James: he’s just getting a team that is supposed to be competing to compete), Sutter is doing the same in LA. Yeo in Minnie is a frontrunner if they hang on. How about Dineen in Florida? Dude is 3rd overall with some old chess pieces he found in a dumpster.

3. I have no idea how this thing is awarded. Sure, give it to Alfie.

4. This be a meaty question. The argument for is obvious: leads all defencemen in points by a wide margin. The argument against is the same that kept the Norris from Mike Green – that he’s supposedly an ‘offensive specialist’ – except that Karlsson has about an even +/- on a team with a terrible goal differential and awful goaltending, and he plays on the PK, neither of which was true of Green. Karlsson is absolutely deserving of the award this year, though I still think it goes to Shea Weber. A lot of people felt he was robbed last year, so look for them to make up for their sentimental Lidstrom pick with a sentimental Weber pick this year. (Not that he’s isn’t also an astounding defenceman.) Karlsson is young and has a lot of years to win the Norris, or so the thinking will go.

5. Ask me after January. This next month is make-or-break. Sens have been gangbusters….at home against shitty teams. On the road against the best of the East? That’s gonna be tough. If they go .500 over the next several games, then I’ll say they make it. (One of those websites who crunch stats that I don’t understand said they’re 50% right now, and another which doesn’t take goal differential, a tie breaker, into account put it at 60%.) They have a lot of games in hand against the teams beneath them, and suck on the tie-breaker. They’re currently on pace for 94 points. Which is juuuuuuust at the cut-off. This year is gonna take years offa my life.