Our round-the-clock Mike Fisher watch continues! He’s promised us pizza and a six-pack of beer (non-alcoholic, daps to JC) between all three thousand of us if we help him move this Saturday.

Marc

THE MIKE FISHER CAREER REVIEW/OBITUARY

Mike Fisher you gave Ottawa some great moments, fringing on some blue collar hockey hall of fame, election on the first ballot shit. You were always there when we needed you, with that grit and determination and skating real hard and backchecking and penalty killing and powerplaying and body checking and marrying country music supastars…you were good for this team. Were you great?

I say no. You and Great dated for a short while, but broke up a long time ago. Great moved out, took the dog, pocketed your favorite Amy Grant CDs, and poured your bottle of 2001 Baby Duck all over the bed. You never managed to be friends with Great, sometimes flirted with it, and we were all really broken up about that. We all wanted you to be with Great. You were the second line centre that could…be a third liner on plenty of other teams. You were somewhat consistent, but brought so many other intangibles that made you valuable.

Mike, you were a pillar in the community, and no one can ever take that away from you. From Elgin Fraser to Roger’s House, you set the example on how proffesional athletes should give back. You bled for this city and team, and we are all thankful. You have been a class act from the moment you were drafted.

You scored 20 goals 4 times as a Senator, netting a career high 25 in 09-10. You averaged 0.52 points per game, which is good. You were paid 4.2 million a year, which is a ton for that PPG output. The biggest plus of your departure is that your salary is now off the cap. You are the sacrificial lamb of the Great Rebuild. Many fans are upset. They thought you were great. They thought you were ruggedly attractive, hunky and the hardest working center on the team. They might be right. They loved you and your chiseled abs of taking care of business.

With that, in the words of the great Smooth Jimmy, “So Long and Thanks for all the Fish”. You’re no dolphin, but you mixed a mean Gargle Blaster. You are a fighter of Vogons, owner of the Heart of Gold and friend to all those paranoid androids in Ottawa. I hope you get 42 points this year.

Needs more Hitchhiker’s guide references…

Prianka

Right now, the Sens are mostly harmless, but maybe a little help from the infinite improbability drive we could land up at the restaurant and the end of the universe.

About Fish – when my buddy texted me last night saying that Fish had been traded, I almost thought it was a joke. A man who was once considered the potential future captain in Ottawa, and easily one of the top five most popular players in this town. Murray has give him up on a gamble, one that is stacked in our favour, but a gamble nonetheless. As long as Nashville doesn’t make a first round exit, this could end up being a really profitable trade especially considering we didn’t have to take back any of the salary.

I guess I’ll be cheering for Nashville in the postseason. Never thought I would see the day when that was the case.

There’s nothing fun about a rebuild, besides the fact that they are always spurned by a really awful season, on top of that you are guaranteed to be losing some of your favourite players. It’s a painful process, but it is also what needs to be done if we are going to avoid going on another 11 game (and counting) losing streak next January. With the $20M in available salary cap, there is a huge potential for who Murray could bring in during the summer. As much as I am loving Lehner these days, I think it would be a good idea to get in another goalie (maybe Vokoun or Bryzgalov) as well as a couple top 6 forwards, I’m thinking a center to replace Fisher and a winger for Spezza.

I guess the question now is, who’s next? My money is on Phillips. If we trade Karlsson or Alfie, I may actually cry.

Peter

I have a Mike Fisher story that for a while I’ve been getting plenty of mileage out of. Now, I fear there’s no more appetite for my little slice of banality from our departed Senator.

Summer, 2008. Fresh from my five years living in Vancouver I return to the Ottawa area and take a middling summer job at the private golf and country club frequented by my parents. My duties exactly? Sit in a pavilion at the first tee, monitor the automated scheduling system and drop the checkered flag on 4+ hours featuring octogenarians wandering around the woods and generally running out the clock.

One of the features of this golf course is a reciprocal relationship with the Marshes golf course in Kanata which features Fish as a member. One day I’m sitting in the shed, reading Deadspin and fending off the advances of randy blue hairs. Who should approach the first tee? Mike Fisher.

Now one of the duties of my role involves enforcing the club’s dress code. Normally this isn’t a problem since so many members already know the rules and would never run afoul for fear of being ostracized by their fellow members. The paramount stipulation of this code? Shirts must be tucked in. This is the banal part and I know you’re thinking “so freaking what?”

Well Mike approaches the first tee and the old ladies are immediately transported back to their beatlemania days, the fawning and cooing made my blood run cold. I know Mike is a good guy and he’s being gracious and signing autographs and taking pictures, but this is my turf. I am the law and the lash Mike.  I casually stroll out of the pavilion and push my way past the post menopausal throng.

“Hi Mike, Welcome, You need to tuck in your shirt. ” (I think I heard some boooos)

Record scratch… I’m not letting Mike tee off with his shirt untucked, no big deal right. Tuck it in and get on your merry way.
“I’m not wearing a belt, That’d look so stupid” he confesses.
“Well we’ve got a lovely selection of belts in our pro shop.” (Okay, admittedly this story might be really about me and my struggles with being an asshole.)

“But I’ve spent all this time signing autographs that my partners and I will miss our tee time.” 

Something tells me Mike is used to getting what he wants in public situations. I’m thinking, holy shit, how much money did you make last year?

“Well” I reply, “Looks like we’ve got a problem.” How about we do this? Now watch me as I wink Mike”. “You could tuck in your shirt and maybe like on the next hole, by some weird happenstance, it would come untucked? Either way, I’d never know…I have to stay here…wink.

“Ohhh, I get it, thanks…”
“No worries, Mike, enjoy your round”

About two minutes after Mike teed off one of the members came running out of the dining room with a styrofoam container of takeout. “Is Mike still here? I was going to get him to sign my leftovers.”

Conrad

Mike Fisher to Nashville (shock) for a 1st in 2011 and a conditional pick in 2012.

INTERPRETATION RUN DOWN / HEARTBREAK LANE

I’ll miss the guy. This is when the rebuild gets real. It had to happen, and I’m glad it’s happening, but this is the moment when you go back to the apartment you once shared with your girlfriend or boyfriend and start separating your CD collection (when there were CDs).

Also, if you thought the Sens were bad now (11th loss in a row last night, only one win in I think 17), things are about to get really messy.

This biggest gain from this is getting out from under $8M in outstanding salary and a cap hit of $4.2M for the next two seasons. I’m surprised, and happy, that the Sens didn’t have to take any salary back in the deal, though with a team as deep in prospects as the Preds are, it’s too bad we couldn’t get a more developed young player in the deal.

Preds are currently 11th overall in the league, meaning that the 1st will probably end up being bottom fifteen. That’s basically a Nick Foligno added to the fold. Not bad, considering Fisher was a 2nd rounder himself, but for a player who was to be the future captain of this team, this is yet another signal that the days of the huge deadline deal are gone.

As for the conditional pick, my understanding is that it’s a 3rd rounder if the Preds win one playoff round, and a 2nd rounder if they win two or more. Keep in mind that Nashville has never won a playoff series, so this might end up just a straight 1st rounder for Fish.

Also keep in mind that the West is ridiculous right now. Nashville is 5th in the conference, but only four points ahead of 9th (and only five points ahead of 11th). They’re one losing streak away from our first rounder being turned into a top 15 pick.

JUDGEMENT: Aaaahhhhhh I dunno. Fisher is a fan fave, and it sort of sucks to see him traded for a lottery ticket. But at the same time, this team just turned about $14M in cap space next year into about $20M in cap space. They didn’t take a damn thing back.

I know it was never going to happen, but I wish we coulda gotten one of those sweet prospects in Nashville’s system. They’re going to be a ridiculous team someday soon.

Peter

Yes fish will be missed. Though his production was down this year there is still a need for what he does best. A veteran presence and classy guy is never easy to replace. There is going to be a hole in this team for a while. Call it a scab or a scar.

I think objectively this is a good deal. I wonder if murray’s love affair with his prospects played any role in zero kids being Ottawa bound. Maybe fish hinted at wanting to go to music city and kinda hamstrung his g.m. a bit?

So now it begins huh? I don’t see a huge impact the rest of this season (only because i dont think it can get any worse) but next should be interesting. Keep playing the kids this year, don’t make a panic signing this summer, maybe amass a couple of first rounders when the Spezza and Gonchar contracts become a little more palatable.

I think every fan should know, nay expect this team to suck holy balls next year. Too many kids, no finishers and a disinterested and frankly wasted Spezza.

This is going to be rocky. I fear to watch, yet I cannot turn away.

James

“Sooooo…are we NOT calling this post ‘So Long and Thanks For All the Fish’ orrrr….somehow TSN didn’t go for that”

When the Sens lost their 54^th straight back in Novembuary, finally, after much resistance, I started leaning more toward what Conrad had been saying for a while and thought “Okay, uncle already, this core is past its prime, the team is officially TERRIBLE…let whoever go. . . minus Spezza b/c he’s impossible to move/ way hard to replace…what are you gunna trade that guy for? Ryan Getzlaf? Youre going to get murdered *LITERALLY* trying to move that guy – but I digress (not really)…and minus Alfie because YOU CANT TRADE MY DAD, STEP MURRAY!!! *goes to room, starts blasting Marlyn Manson* Just kidding, I put it out there on the blog (for those not reading at home – all of you) a while back that I was super comfortable if Alfie even wanted a shot at the cup before he turns THIRTY NINE…he’s done enough in this era of time, the era before he becomes our new GM *hopeful tears in eyes*.

Anyway, Phillips, Fisher, etc I was all get rid of the core. Lets get young and cheap! But then when it gets closer to the deadline you start to get sad thinking about only spending every second weekend in a three hour long court mandated supervised visit with your former Sens dads ( I think we can all agree Phillips is the DADDEST looking guy in modern history). That and we might get stuck sharing our room with some bratty pipsqueak of a step brother (I think we can all agree that Blake Wheeler is that)…but you know what? Im already reading all this bull in comments sections (Smartest move to continue to believe in humanity – wait for it…wait for it – NOT!) all “HORRIBLE MOVE! FIRE MURRAY!!! LOUUUUD VOICES!!!” unless this is a leafs fan trolling (and trust me you are a bunch of trolls, the lot of you) THIS IS THE TYPE OF THING WE WERE DEMANDING. Now look at me. IM the one whos yelling and im ALWAYS calm and completely reasonable (not).

Bottom line: We want young and we want cheap, which I am not an expert on either of these things as I am 64 years old and make 8 figures a year, but it would seem this is the brave new world we were begging for online and in the press. What we give up in the process of said future of course is a ‘sure thing’. We KNOW how good and hard working Fisher is. If we had just traded for a 2^ndround, 44^th overall pick we’d be all “off with Murrays head!” but that’s the pick that this heart and soul, selke finalist guy went BUT if we were the ones GETTING Mike Fisher in a trade 10 years after his pick, I think we’d be pretty happy. Well, the Comment Section Toughies wouldn’t be happy…they are lieterally never happy (and are racist homophobes J too ) taking a gamble is tough and stressful (Bobby B no points in 11 games) but the way players are developed these days a First Round pick is pretty much as safe a bet as they come outside of an active player.

Speaking of first round picks, maybe this is the time where Nick Foligno begins step up in an enhanced role to become the NEW Mike Fisher b/c cousin has kiiiiiiiiiiiind of been a beast lately. In conclusion, I don’t know how to run a hockey team at all and I for one welcome our new overlords. We’ll miss you and your generosity* Mike, as Pierre McGuire never (fucking) stops saying “He’s not only a tremendous player on the ice, he’s also a tremendous human being OFF the ice.”
“Relax, Pierre.” – Everyone

*Quick little story, a friend of mine had a baby a few years back and pretty much from birth, the child suffered numerous seriosus health problems. A low income single parent, in a desperation move, she contacted Mike Fisher’s people and eventually got in touch with him asking for help. Mike helped her, a stranger, weather some pretty burdensome financial storms taking care of a sick child on her own. This story never made one headline and was even a pretty private thing amoung friends. Safe to say, that it is not the only story of its kind invoving Mike Fisher. He did and will continue to do a lot of good for whatever community he’s in and even though a lot of people give him a hard time because he is so down with JC, he does a lot more than many 64 year old bloggers do. Thanks Mike.

From all of us at The CCFR: A few highlights. We especially like the first one because it was clutch and it immediately shows the crowd at the Scotiabank Plan streaming for the parking lot. Good luck, Mike. There may be plenty of empty seats where you’re going, but the people who’re there will appreciate having hockey around.

Conrad said:
So, discussion for the site: is it a good thing that Robin Lehener is ostensibly a psychopath? See attached photos, courtesy of Smooth Jimmy. Is this different from Ray Emery? We all thought it was awesome that Ray gave the team swagger and wouldn’t back down, and a season after giving him big money we ended up buying the guy out because he wasn’t team-oriented. Either Lehner is the same, i.e. taking a needless penalty that ends up giving the game away (I guess you could also argue it was Elliott giving up three goals on 12 shots that did that), or he’s somehow TOO team oriented. Dude wants to fucking WIN. I’m scared that with all of the losing going on around here that he’s going to rip a supermarket in half with his bare hands.

Marc P said:
I hope he rips Elliott and Kuba apart with his bare hands. Possibly use the Scandinavian Death Stare to turn Kovalev into a bubbling pile of stick handling turnovers.

We’re a little late on this one, as we were distracted by the Sens scoring 5 goals and still losing. And by distracted, we mean we went on a four day trip of self-discovery through the Ozarks with nothing but a Rambo knife and some choice cigarettes. We began to hallucinate, and this figure came to us through the haze, and we did think “Oh man, even our friggin’ Guardian is boring.”

So The Senator is a Senator, but only insofar as anything relating to the Ottawa Senators are Senators (because they are, in fact, either gladiators or imperial troops. The senators were the ones in the togas debating taxation). Probably would have been cooler to rename the franchise the Ottawa Legion or Cavalry or the Palaiologan Byzantine army, named after the dynasty of the Palaiologi (1259–1453), which ruled Byzantium between the recovery of Constantinople from the Crusaders and its fall to the Turks in 1453. During this final phase, Byzantium was little more than a city-state that hired foreign mercenary bands for its defence. Thus the Byzantine army finally lost any meaningful connection with the standing imperial Roman army – hence the connection to this Senators team and that which once contended in the playoffs.

Anyhoo, the Sens are terrible, so here’s a question for you: in the 2011 draft, given the choice between a Matt Duchene style forward and a bluechip defenceman, which would you take?

Sens are back in “action” tonight after a heartbreaking loss in which they showed some goddamned pride for a change. Spezza and his what-must-now-be-mechanical-shoulder are back, and he gets a biscuit of a game against one of the few teams worse than the Sens to test out his giveaway reflex, which Kovalev and Kuba have been keeping warm for him in his absence. Nice to see those two step up and make sure giveaways keep happening while Spezz recovers. Sens have a real chance to end their losing streak, which is now at 6,589. In tanking news, they are two points up on NJ for third last overall, three on the Islanders for second last, and four from the first overall pick.