Last night Sergei Gonchar was gifted his portrait in honor of his 1000th game. It was a little hard to make it out from where I was seated (second last row, third deck, natch), but The CCFR, being an extremely well-connected organization, has managed to obtain an e-copy of said potrait:
[Extremely big ups to Image Dude Steve for generating this using what we can only assume was a supercomputer.]
Some other fine Sens blogs (Silver Seven, Another Sens Blog) have already bothered to weigh in on our favorite pouty millionaire, Alex Kovalev. Their analysis has been nuanced, balanced, and very fair, and though we find it hard to believe that anyone can respond with any less than violent upchucking into their office garbage bin at Mr. Eyes-on-the-Prize’s season thus far, we concede that we probably need to say more than Screw That Richie Rich, He’s Rich So Screw ‘im.
And so, in light of the Sens laying yet another egg on Hockey Night in Canada, in combination with Kovalchuk being a healthy scratch in New Jersey last night (and for some reason Markov) we contribute the following to the debate:
Having said that (and really, what more need be said), hearing fucking nanananaheyheyheygoodbye in our own building last night was all the tragedies of the world wound up in a bullet to my heart. I hate you, Habs fans, and your silly soccer chants. But today, I hate my team even more for not only losing to you, but doing so with one of your castoffs in the lineup.
Anyway, I’ll be in the building for the game this Tuesday against Phoenix, so look for some live reportage for the first time in this blog’s history, AKA something about traffic, something about beer prices, and probably something about Kovalev and being shut out again.
Incontrvertable evidence that Alex indeed knows how to work out.
Also some of the ccfr “staff” are getting together to watch tonight’s game. Any suggestions on local Ottawa watering holes are welcome. Come on down and tap on the proverbial glass of your favorite bloggers. It’s a gathering of the CCFRaloes… wait, what?
No surprise to regular blog readers to hear me say that Gabe Dejardins’ Behind the Net blog is probably the best stats-based hockey site out there. Many fans of teams mired in losing streaks turn to his work to try and make sense of the chaos evident in their home rink. Anyway, I thought this was worth a second read, considering where the Sens are right now. Which is to say that we’re all playing an expectations game, and though I’m as likely to talk rebuild as anyone, that’s all in good fun. The Sens will be fine, and their season is far from over.
Sens play Pens tonight, but I think it’s on a channel that you only receive if you hook up all three current generation video game systems to your credit card and strike the contraption with lightning. Sens will take their weak ass defence into the Pens’ Haunted Xcel Manufacturing Concern. Speaking of haunted, do we give up the ghost on Elliott being a starting goaltender and throw Lehner (and our entire season) in? Can Crosby score his usual three points against the Sens with a folding chair on his wing? Can Fleury stink enough to give Gonchar his first goal as a Senator? Will Kovalev continue to act like a sad panda, refusing everything but bamboo as he slowly starves to death? Tune in (if you can) to find out.
Personally, I think it’s time for the Sens to unveil their secret weapon:
We know it was going to be a loss because it was Hockey Night in Canada. Ottawa can only embarrass itself in front of large audiences. But more importantly, it was yet another game in which Ottawa was badly outshot:
I guess part of this is letting two guys in the top ten in blocked shots walk away, but another is probably that they can’t carry the puck out of their own zone. I think Kovalev is now responsible for strategy in the locker room, piña colada in hand.
Praise be his name, for he said, “Simplify thy game and get thee to the point. Kovalev, get thy slothfulness from mine eyes, for I name you Beast.”
