James to Conrad, Pete

Ever since I retired 12 years ago I have been on a fixed budget. As such, I had to listen to last night’s game by hooking up a homemade electromagnet to my gramophone. The sounds that passed though my hearing horn were most disagreeable.

Sens I would sign to lifetime deals:

Erik Karlsson? Seriously, 19 shots in each of the two games without the golden child in the lineup? I see a pattern emerging. I know they beat the kings but even as a fan I must admit that that was an absolute mouse fart of a win. Speaking of mouse farts…c’mon, 19 shots on Andrew Raycroft?

Lionel Hutz: “Your honor, this all goes back to the playoff case of Ottawa Senators vs. John Graham of the Tampa Bay Lightening.”

Remember that series? The Senators friggin rolled over that team because they knew John Graham was in net and the law of AK averages was at work “Comes ze shootings, comes ze goals” – Alex Kovalev, Productive Ottawa Senators Forward (Early Nov. 2010 – Mid Nov. 2010).

So, sure, the team that faced Graham in 1774 is much different than the line up of today but the idea remains the same. WHEN YOU FACE A GOALTENDER THAT COULDN’T STAY IN THE TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS LINE UP COMES ZE SHOOTINGS YAH?
………*deep cleansing breath* put Karlsson back in the lineup.

Jason Spezza & Daniel Alfredsson. Felt like those were the only two names I heard last night…eh, I think I heard Gonchar and Michalek a lot too…whatever I was busy drinking seltzer water and decorating homemade tshirts (not joking).

Sens that I noticed noticing me and I want to put them on NOTICE that I noticed them back:

Cory Clouston. Broham, I straddle the line of thinking youre the Jimmy McNulty of coaches. You don’t care if your Dany Frigging Heatley youre doing your line drills and I’m good police etc and getting paranoid that you’re totally alienating the team.

Also, This Texa$ Scrambler lineup up shuffling is getting weird too. Oh good, Gonchar back on the side he wasn’t scoring on paired up with Phillips whos having an awful season. Comes ze shootings comes ze shorthanded breakaways. What we signed Gonchar to a 3yr/16M contract to learn how to play on the side he never played on in the Mozzarella years of his career? PUT HIM WHERE HE’S GOOD. OH LOOK! THE CURTAINS ARE ON FIRE! ITS GOOOOD THAT BART DID THAT ITS VERRRRY VERRRRY GOOOOOD!
Seriously, hearing players, namely defenders, gripe about getting used to new partners so far this year is annoying. Don’t we have like 1 new player? Even Carkner was a lock to make the squad.

Smooth Jimmy’s Riding That “Comes Ze Shootings, Comes Ze Goals” Thing Into The Ground Korner”
– After an absolute dearth of scoring earlier in the season the Sens absolutely exploded offensively for a few games. We are due for some dizzying highs. And I don’t completely mean watching games on ecstasy.

Conrad to James, Pete

Like every game that takes place on TSN2, I watched the Sens game by refreshing the score on my iPhone while watching a staticky Montreal game. Montreal looked good! Habs I would sign to long term deals PK Subban ahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeesh.

But yeah, seconded on the Karlsson thing. He gets reinserted next game, guaranteed. I say if you’re gonna go with puck movement and possession, then go with it and let your team build around it. Hopefully they’ll have it down by the last third of the season, just in time for a heart attack run at a lower seed and will get hot just in time to really challenge in the first round. Sens are so fixated on being a contender RIGHT FRIGGIN NOW that if the wheels start to come off the wagon coach immediately starts tweaking. Patience, little turtle doves. You’ve got a lot of salary up front, and you’ve built your entire system around getting them the puck. Gonchar can’t do it if you make him play with a tennis racket.

So, speaking of tweaking and patience and contradicting myself almost immediately, when does this team call up AHL-leading scorer and he of 14 goals in 20 games Bobby Butler? And, more deliciously, who sits to make room for him? I guess the easy answer, despite his goal last night, would be Shannon, who’s inexpensive, or Foligno, who we’re currently dragging the lake in an attempt to find. The ballsy move would be to bench Michalek or Kovalev, both streaky. If your whole system is predicated on speed and puck possession, and you’ve displayed that you have no ability to wait for the team to gel, Butler has the wheels. It might be worth a try.

On a completely unrelated note, the Islanders have lost 14 in a row. Ain’t that something?

Peter to Conrad, James

Yikes, just looking at the box score is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. Alfie, Michalek and Foligno all didn’t even register a shot on goal. Granted the first two logged almost 20 minutes of ice time while Nicky was only on the ice for 13. Allow me to re-iterate, yikes.

How many 2-1 games did we think this team is going to win? Not very many in my humble opinion. Do we really think Karlsson is going to jumpstart the offense? I hope so. Can’t we lose a 2-1 game in OT or a shootout, at least picking up a point? I feel like there needs to be some sort of town hall meeting for non-season ticket holders and other mentally unstables. “Coach have you thought of hypnotism or lasers?” “Do you think Michael Jackson is really dead?” “Barabbas, Barabbas, BUTLER!!!!!!”

I’m very scared someone’s going to have to remind blue’s clous that his B squad is playing in his home rink Friday night and that he should probably watch instead of staying home to drink seltzer and make homemade t-shirts (btw, can I get a homemade Dreamphone t-shirt?)

Looking forward to the game friday, I think he should put Foligno in the lineup against Hamilton, only to see the love of the game sparkle return to his eyes before he is pasted into the boards.

James to Peter, Conrad

I think that, yes, Karlsson can potentially jump start the Sens offensive. Isnt he the teams like…4th highest scorer or something? And his return, should he beallowed back on the powerplay by Coach Digby’s in the Doghouse, will put Gonchar back on his proper side ..so, yes, it cant hurt (save for Karlsson potentially taking eleventy penalties). God i hope Crosby doesnt have a Stamkos to grind on friday. I just barfed all over myself. Oh, also, Hott Tipp: A successful team is a team that doesnt take 8 penalties per period!

Homemade Dreamphone shirts will cost $1… or a beer.
We have them in your size (slim with the tilted brim)

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I think that the game is very much in the plastic bag, fellows

Conrad to James, Pete

Ok, so I’m not going to go off too much on the whole getting outscored 12-1 in two games given the horrible circumstances under which the Sens played last night (other than to say that the Canes really have got the Sens’ number when they play in Raleigh). I wasn’t able to watch the game because I don’t throw my paycheque away on speciality channels, but you saw it Pete. What did you think? Complete and utter write-off?

State of the Union!

Sens are basically a .500 club again, which isn’t that bad unless these last two games are the beginning of a 7-game losing streak. Kovalev’s 1000th point will occur any day now. I predict that he celebrates by not giving a shit.

Around the League!

I watched some Pens – Nucks last night. NEWS FLASH: Sidney Crosby is really fucking good. I think I saw a stat at one point that said he had 16 points in his last nine? Sheeeeeeeesh. Guy is like a hockey assassin.

I still can’t believe Gainey’s Build-This-Team-From-A-Fantasy-Hockey-Club’s-Waiver-Wire strategy actually worked. Habs are playing their brains out right now. I hate to live in a world where they’re at the top of the standings, given their completely obnoxious and Euro-like fans, but they are the lesser of several evils.

James to Conrad, Pete

Hey guys, I’ve been away….whats been going on with the Se–GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

I tuned into the game last night to the sound of the Fox Sports Carolina (state? oh what? needs to be distinguised between North and South? wtvr, “theres no time” – Jessy Spanno host of the show, Spanno Speaks, one episode).

Anyhoo, before the picture faded in I hear the guy going “And the Hurricanes really have the tiger by the tail here” and I thought “isnt it still very much the 1st period?” Screen fades in and I see Pascal Leclaire warming up. Because I am into Sports BDSM, I watched the whole game. Not much to say, the tragic circumstances surrounding the game are spoken for at this point. That’s not to say there werent a lot of glaring bad habits that have long been around before this match, like the constant surrender of short-handed breakaways. Our goalies have for the most part done a great job of covering up how many of these have been occuring, but I mean…there are a lot of Mike Richardseses and Eric Ssttaallss around the league, and they are starting to make us pay big time for this.

State of the Union

“Baby it aint over till its ooooooooovahhh” Leonard Kravitz, Car Salesman

…still though the Sens need a big decisive win

Happy to be back!

Pete to James, Conrad

Meh, they get a free pass from me for last night’s game. Burn the game tape and move on. Though I still believe that Elliott should have never started. Leclaire didn’t do much better, but shortly after he entered they did carry the play for maybe a period.

Karlsson was brutal last night, skittish with the puck and a giant pulsating bad decision. This is getting into broken record territory here, but if you put a bunch of slight puck movers on the back end the power forwards of the league are going to set up shop in your kitchen.

Conrad to Pete

So waddya want to talk about? Leclaire gets a bunch of goals dropped on him, including one in the first 22 seconds of a game, and Elliott gets a shutout the next game? Does this mean that we run with Elliott already? Leclaire played ok through the first few games of the season, does he get another chance? Here’s a weird one: if he’s willing to re-sign for $500k, do you re-sign Leclaire?

Believe it or not, I think I would. This team obviously believes that he has a higher ceiling than Elliott – they just keep giving him chance after chance – and we’ve had a few tantalizing glimpses of his talent before a sparrow flew into him and broke his collerbone. Also, if you want to try and get some kind of return for trading away a 2nd line center (1st line in Columbus), it makes sense.

Pete to Conrad

Seems to me such a disparity between tending would show in the effort of the skaters in front of whoever’s between the pipes. But it looks like the same team plays for each goalie, so really I’m scratching my head on this one. Sure, a couple of the Van city goals weren’t his fault and I thought it was a questionable start. (Boston or Carolina would have been better). I think Leclaire is now our backup until proven otherwise. Seems like Bri-Bri needs minutes to be effective and the rascale can’t stay healthy. Clouston has proven to be fluid on this subject so it seems like it’s going to be a question we’ll continually mull and blogiovate upon.

Actually it seems pretty obvious and if Leclaire takes fewer dollars to stick around, it might be in his best interest to shed the expectations of starter’s money and just play, knowing he doesn’t have to carry the load. Hey it could be worse, he could be M-A Fleury.

Conrad to Pete

I walked into a bar with the score 2-1 Philly, watched Karlsson take three minors in a row then bobble the puck at the line on the powerplay to give up a shorthanded breakaway, and the next thing I knew it was 5-1. It happened pretty damn fast, but the play was looking close enough to start out the second period. Philly is looking impressive – that defensive core is insane. I think the Meszaros pickup makes sense for them: he may not be the no. 1 puck-mover that Tampa was hoping for, and he’s still being paid like a no. 1 guy, but as a 3-4 guy playing 18 minutes a night, the depth he brings is noticeable. Also gives them another option should one of their big two on the back end go down to injury.

I also think it was strange that they started Leclaire against Vancouver the other night. We won’t ever hear the conversations on the ice or in practice, but here’s a guy who hadn’t played in weeks, had been healthy for a series of games against weaker teams, and they decided to give him his big chance to play himself back into the lineup against one of the best teams in the league. Suspicious, as if they were setting him up to fail. Stranger still when you consider his blow up in practice the next day. A goalie like Leclaire needs a lot of consecutive starts to play to his potential. Chalk yet another one up to Conrad Doesn’t Understand How Management Assesses Goaltending (exhibit B: Mike Brodeur allows one goal in two games at a time when the team is struggling to find consistent goaltending, and is immediately exiled to the minors.)

And having said that, I’m taking back the assertion that if Leclaire re-signs on the cheap that I’d have him as a backup. He isn’t the kind of positional goalie who just plays the angles, perhaps lets in a goal or two from the point, but is fundamentally solid when the team in front of him plays well. With Leclaire it’s feast-or-famine: an athletic goalie who depends on reflexes. He’s either going to stop everything or allow six goals, including the first shot on net. I say cut him loose.

An anecdote that James would tell better: the Sens had a game-worn equipment sale (seriously). James took a look, tried on Foligno’s glove (it smelled) and then noticed Leclaire’s pads. James then made a very good point: with hockey players being as superstitious as they are, why would any player wear the pads of a goalie as unlucky as Leclaire?

Pete to Conrad

I watched the second and third periods last night, this one wasn’t a question of goaltending to be sure. The Flyers exposed one of Ottawa’s glaring bad habits they showcase against good teams. They lost battles for the puck, forgot to move their feet when trying to get back into position and got lazy, that’s when they get grabby. (I believe you noticed this in the form of Sexy Swede’s hooking penalties.) Though he wasn’t the only one at fault, Ottawa needs to realize they can’t amble into the corners or along the walls and expect they’re going to win the puck, because they don’t and then they have to obstruct to avoid getting stuck.

Plus they gave up 46 shots so for the love of God they better start Leclaire against Carolina tomorrow night. If they don’t I think we can add a little more weight to your “set up to fail” argument c-rad. This would be the perfect spot to start Pascale, two nights after your starter sees a ton of rubber and its against a weaker opponent,

Yeah Philly is really rolling right now. They start a rookie tender, that’s how good their D is. Must be nice. I think the next time Ottawa and Philly play, it’ll be a 6-5 game. I’m sitting here waiting for Clouston to realize that with his personnel on the back end he’s going to have to open it up. He doesn’t have the talent between the pipes to give up 45 shots and win 2-1.

As an aside, last night one of the lines early in the third featured Alfredsson playing with Winchester! I thought it was a mirage but even Deano and Denis were confused. Am I the only person that think Clouston doesn’t get consistent effort from his team because he himself fails to show any consistency with his lines/ice time?

Conrad to Pete

Yeah, Clouston’s a line shuffler. To such a degree that it’s a real problem. Dude, it’s okay for a line to have a bad game. That doesn’t mean that putting Phillips on the point on the PP, or Foligno in net, is going to suddenly yield results.

Conrad to James

Sens I would sign to Time Life deals

It’s always a good game when you get goals from both Phillips and Winchester. (I know they later gave Phillip’s goal to Neil, who apparently got his stick on it, and that’s almost as special – but not quite as rare as a Phillips goal, so I’m blacking out that particular bit of memory.)

Also, James’ recent arguments that a player like Spezza would be impossible to replace if traded are playing out almost nightly since he came back. He’s playing with all kinds of confidence right now, is forechecking hard, and I can’t remember the last time I saw a no-look drop pass from him – though he did start getting fancier once they went up 4-1. He’s treading that fine line of swagger; it’s an essential part of his success (It did give us the famous Jubilee Jewellers Souray Deke-Out after all) but it can also result in his being embarassed. I think the ghost has been given up on Jason outgrowing the theatrics: it’s part of his game. On nights like last night, I’m fine with it.

Gonchar is looking like he’s worth every penny of that deal. Senators were something like 28th on the PP last year. This year: 14th. Leapfrogging half the league is well-worth the extra mill Murray spent by going after Gonchar rather than re-signing Volchenkov. The first goal on the powerplay was a thing of laser-like beauty – Spezza’s clean faceoff win to Karlsson, who immediately dishes to Gonchar rather than holding the puck to take a look at the situation, who shoots a one-timer. Took about four seconds to score. Gonchar has 11 points in 15 games.

Elliott. You know how there are dirty goals? Elliott is making dirty saves.

I’m also seeing what Murray was hoping he’d see nightly from Kovalev. Lots of creativity, lots of the fabled “making room for other players.” Here’s hoping he doesn’t go cold soon.

Sens I would buy out

Winchester scored, but then nearly scored on his own net about two minutes later. The life of a fourth liner is a tragic play.

Foligno was bumped down to the fourth line, and while his hard drive to the net led to Winchester’s goal, it’s frustrating to see him lose his big chance at the top six.

Gobbledegook

Yesterday was such a feel good game. First: because it was against the Thrashers, a team against which we traditionally shit the bed at home. Second: look at the reaction from Winchester’s linemates after he scored. It was like they’d just won a playoff game. Similarly, it was grins all up and down the bench after Phillips wired a shot in.

James to Conrad

Sens I would prepare a McCain Rising Crust Pizza for:

Steven (Image sorcerer). You are fucking killing it.

Jaaaaaaaasooooooooon Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Where you at trade Spezza after three games fans? Where you at? And WHAT IS WITH ME AND THIS CONSTANTLY WRITING ABOUT PIZZA?

Seriously, like the band Kings of Leon’s Don’t Pay a Cent Event would say This Stick is on Fire (I promise this is my last post before I quit the blog today – hear that guys? You cant fire me).
Who ever it is that is feeding Spezza magic beans while he is injured keep doing what you’re doing. As Conrad pointed out he is playing with a lot more composure than he has in the past. I think he is also realizing he’s a pretty big dude and oh…has an amazing shot.

“Comes ze shooting, comes ze goals, Count Alexei Kovalev Transylvanian Agriculture Minister)

Sergei Goncharbroiled goodness.

“Comes ze prank war, comes ze scenes of nudity”, Alexei Kovalev, director/producer of Porkies 3)
I know it’s an easy stat but I can stop bringing up how this guy has more points than Ilya Kovalchuk.

Bri-Bri Destiny Elliot

Guy was on some Hasekian lead preserving breakdancing tip last night. Hey you know who is gunna be in the hall of fame one day? Dominek Hasek. Happy is the game where I compare Brian Elliot to Vezina winning goaltenders not named Jim Carey.

Erik Karlsson.

This puppycat is quietly amassing more points than…oh I don’t know…Ilya Kovalchuk (who, again, is in my pool) but seriously folks, my pool is dryer than the one in Tony Hawk’s back yard *rim shot* *dodges beer bottles* Thanks you’ve been greaaat.

David Hale(‘s pass to Spezza)
Pretty kick butt pass.

Sens I would force to pick up the tab for Pizza Cones for the whole team.

Me. If I was on the Sens I think we can all agree I would be the worst. I mean look at me. I had to rock the highlights only on this one so I only saw the good times. No complaints. Im not going to give Michalek a hard time. If I had tendonitis in my surgically repaired knee id probably tack ten months off and cry a lot. Stay alert, stay safe, 9MM.

Goobledeegook

Banking points for the approaching challenges of a tough road trip. I thought Clouston was a little wild for starting Elliot of a record 79th consecutive game but that’s why he’s the coach and I’m the garbage monster! Right, so when DO you start Leclaire? Some tough competition up ahead. I don’t know but it is safe to say the team can afford to give him a try, though it is clear they trust Elliot way more and play with more confidence in front of him GEE I WONDER WHY.

Hey Sens fans, Lets all try to make it out to that Binghamsandwich Senators and Hamilton Bullfrogs, front row seats are 19 bones!

Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future. Inverted is my syntax.

James to Conrad, Peter

Hey Chicken Ceasars,

I know the Binghamton PizzaSalads arent the strongest hockey club in the sub-sphere, but you gotta take the good news when it comes…

Pretty cool! I threw Locke in there for good measure. I know he hasn’t got much of a shot in the NHL with his size and speed issues but you never know if he might get a grant; The Ryan Shannon Foundation or Klouston’z Kidz always get a couple games in the bigs toward the end of the year. Do you guys still want to check out that game against the bulldawgz at SBP? I think tickets are like…a non-perishable food item (joking btw).

Conrad to James, Peter

I know that I’ve been unreasonably excited about Bobby Butler, and maybe it’s because he signed as an undrafted UFA, we’ve only got him for a season or two, and I’d prefer we didn’t bury this Hobey Baker finalist in the minors while Ryan Shannon is too small to grind on the 4th line and not skilled enough to be a top six forward. But anyway…I’m excited about Bobby Butler. I thought he looked great in preseason, he’s a good skater with great hands – and a finisher – and Ottawa really lacks exactly that type of young, skilled guys. I like what I saw of Locke with the 67’s too, though I think he’s one of those players who translates from a top six forward in the A to bottom six in the N. And we’ve got about a million of those, especially counting the guys who are currently playing top six minutes and should probably be grinders. (Foliiiiiiiiiiigno.) Though, having said that, Locke is in a three-way tie for 2nd in AHL scoring right now. Which I believe qualifies as boss.

Speaking of Binghampton, who the hell is Barry Brust? He’s playing his brains out right now with a 2.44 GAA and 0.930 SV%.

I don’t have much perspective on this Atlanta game, though for me the Vancouver game later this week is hovering like one of those giant alien ships in Independence Day.

James to Conrad, Peter

WHOA UPDATE SEATS BEHIND THE BENCH ARE 19 DOLLARS.

Wow. Now THATS how you get me out to a game.

Note on Barry Burst of Fruit Flavours: Apparently when Lehner was called up to cover for Samuel L. Jackson’s character from the –shitty- movie Unbreakable, Brust played so well that the coaching staff was faced with a good problem of having a three-headed goaltending snake. It resulted in Mike Brodeur being sent to the ECHL Jackals …which stinks for Baby Bro’ but at least they are leading the ECHL standings right now so he’s joining a good team.

We’ve all read the stories about the poor attendance at Sens games this year. In an attempt to draw spurious conclusions from anecdotal evidence, we here at The CCFR look thoughtfully into the mirror and ask, “Why am I more excited about buying Vanquish on Xbox 360 than tickets to see the Sens play the Thrashers on a Tuesday night?”

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