Sens play Pens tonight, but I think it’s on a channel that you only receive if you hook up all three current generation video game systems to your credit card and strike the contraption with lightning. Sens will take their weak ass defence into the Pens’ Haunted Xcel Manufacturing Concern. Speaking of haunted, do we give up the ghost on Elliott being a starting goaltender and throw Lehner (and our entire season) in? Can Crosby score his usual three points against the Sens with a folding chair on his wing? Can Fleury stink enough to give Gonchar his first goal as a Senator? Will Kovalev continue to act like a sad panda, refusing everything but bamboo as he slowly starves to death? Tune in (if you can) to find out.

Personally, I think it’s time for the Sens to unveil their secret weapon:

We know it was going to be a loss because it was Hockey Night in Canada. Ottawa can only embarrass itself in front of large audiences. But more importantly, it was yet another game in which Ottawa was badly outshot:

I guess part of this is letting two guys in the top ten in blocked shots walk away, but another is probably that they can’t carry the puck out of their own zone. I think Kovalev is now responsible for strategy in the locker room, piña colada in hand.

We here at The Review applaud those fans who go to such lengths as to individually apply knuckle tattoos (real or virtual) in honor of a team currently 0-for-14 on the powerplay. I’m going to get J-A-R-K-O R-U-U-T-U on mine (including thumbs) and then punch a leafs fan in the junk. (3-0 is their best start since ’99!) Or O-L-E-G(‘s) I-P-O-D, in honor of Oleg Saprykin, who, by the way, was drafted 11th overall back in 1999. That’s looney.

(Put your entries for knuckle tats in the comments.)

In other news, Ottawa has a game against Carolina tonight. TSN will be good enough to show it nationwide rather than a CFL borefest between the Thunderbay Thunder Riders and the North Bay Rider Bats. I predict that Joe Corvo scores 14 goals but finishes -3.